#kledoness

i mean she did make that announcement on the pa, so basically she’s doing this right now

do i have to swim

just trying to defend those who prefer sweating it out on ratty blue patio furniture I guess

knock knock.

aud isn’t going anywhere. this is prime real estate: speakers thumping music through her skull, ugly upholstery under her ass, a deadzone so wide she feels radioactive. aud isn’t scared of him. aud knows no fear. (moire let misha into their room twenty minutes ago; aud knows one fear.)

knock knock.

aud doesn’t move; even when the bones are scuttling overhead, even when the well of conversation runs bone dry. (she’d sat down with a mazel tov, raising a glass to his bare ring finger. he’d scowled and pulled out his phone. red and white slipped out the door, and they both tried not to cringe.) theo’s gaze is fixed pointedly, politely, on his own hands, and aud doesn’t move; even to shake off the feeling that she couldn’t if she tried.

knock knock.

“who’s there?” theo asks abruptly. at a glance from aud, he taps out shave and a haircut on the wooden floor; it taps back two bits. aud slumps down in her seat.

“little old lady,” she answers.

how exactly did i dishonour him

murder (people they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them): hm. he’s not as hashtag edgy as moire, but i think arash ends up hurting a lot of people’s feelings by not taking them seriously, or passing judgement, or cutting them out when they’ve done things he doesn’t approve of. now that he’s made friends who are way more morally grey, arash isn’t quite so cut-and-dry in his judgement of who is “good” and “bad,” but he’s definitely killed a few budding friendships that way. 

on a wider level, arash’s decision to deal with daeva led to some serious trauma for his family. sure, his dad lived a much longer life for it, but the pain of having a child and brother suddenly disappear without a trace, or even a body, left serious scars on his parents and siblings. he’s still too young and self-absorbed to understand that this decision could be interpreted as misguided at best and selfish at worst, and that he deeply hurt everyone around him in a way that might very well be worse than had his father died naturally. that death would have been devastating, but everyone had an explanation and years to prepare for the moment. instead, his parents thought they buried a child. i don’t think that arash’s siblings have forgiven him for this at all, and i don’t think he knows that they resent him for it, even though they love him and mourned him and practically co-parent him now that he’s back. it will be a long time before they get that out in the open. 

heart (what inspires you to write this character): i’ll preface this by saying two things: (1) that i’ve criminally underwritten arash compared to moire, which was not the original intention, but sometimes it be like that! i struggled to introduce a second kid later on and have him forge the same types of connections that moire did right off the bat; and (2) that i was obsessed with supernatural when i was sixteen. 

arash and i share a lot more traits than moire and i do. i enjoy writing him because it’s a fun way to reflect and transform my own experiences as a displaced overachieving perfectionist kid; my own teenage skins-lite experience of turning to hard partying to fit in and pretentious poetry to feel like i was still above that; the bleakness of having a family member experience serious illness. i also love writing the fucky indescribableness of the daeva, and have been fascinated by the idea of dealing with demons since the embarrassing dean winchester obsession of ‘09. 

CONSCIENCE: Does your muse thinkthey’re a good child and/or sibling?

This is. such a difficult question to answer for Reagan and I think if you ever asked it the question it would be completely stumped for an answer. There’s a lot of guilt between Cearbhall and Reagan. The effect that Reagan’s magic has on Cearbhall isn’t... comfortable for him and it worries that he resents it for that (he Does Not) and that he wishes it would just leave him be (he does sometimes). But also Cearbhall... is not really there enough to be a proper parent. He doesn’t set down rules, he doesn’t hold Reagan to many standards, he doesn’t express disappointment in it’s actions but he also doesn’t express pride. Reagan can and does act out but nothing it has ever done has ever gotten a rise out of him. So when it comes to Cearbhall Reagan has a fear that it’s not necessarily a bad child but just. Bad for Cearbhall.

As for its mother... It held a lot of fears when it was younger that the reason its mother left was because it was a disappointment. That it was unwanted, that it was a mistake. And it still has these as minor fears, they’re hard to shake, but since Aoife tried to kill it a lot of that has been replaced with rage. There’s still kidn of the feeling that if it had been better, different, stronger Aoife would have loved it instead of abandoning it.

MEMOIR: Favorite part of your muse’s backstory? 

what’s she frowning about