#kitty fluff

Kit patted the air where Livvy’s arm was, as though he could comfort her with the memory of a touch. “I have no idea why Rupert asking you to interact with stuff worked, but I’m glad it did. I’m glad you got to do some of the things you were talking about earlier.”

“Yeah, me too. Oooh! Maybe I should make a bucket list of ghost stuff! In case I get the opportunity again!”

“We should try again,” mused Ty. He had the beginnings of a theory, but nothing solid enough to say out loud. He would have to ask Rupert some questions first. He checked his watch and was surprised to see that it was almost one in the morning. He wasn’t tired; he often stayed up late at the Scholomance to finish assignments or read, so this was nothing out of the ordinary. That was why he always had such an awful time waking up in the mornings.

Ty’s first impression of the Scholomance was that it was big. And cold. His second was that they were absolutely trying to kill him. If waking up before dawn to train wasn’t enough, they also did not have a coffee machine. It had taken Ty weeks to argue his way into acquiring a kettle and a huge jar of ground coffee for his room, but when he did his quality of life improved dramatically.

The material they studied was interesting, and as he fell into a routine, he began to honestly enjoy his new life. Even if he did miss Kit. And his family. But mostly Kit. The only habit he could not break, however, was his absolute inability to go to sleep at a reasonable time.

Kit, on the other hand, was yawning.

“I’m gonna go check on Rupert,” he said. “It’s been kinda a big day for him.”

Ty waved affirmatively and turned back to Livvy. “If we try again, we should see if you can touch people.”

She gave half a smile. “I don’t think Rupert’s ready for that. Speaking of Rupert, I think they’re coming back in.”

Sure enough, the balcony door slid open and Kit re-emerged, followed by Rupert and the heavy scent of cigarette smoke. Rupert looked surprisingly calm.

“So, uh,” he flopped to the floor, leaning his back against the wall. “We just summoned the ghost of your sister.”

“So it would seem.”

“Are you, like, okay? Seems kinda heavy.”

Ty hesitated, unsure how much he should let on. He didn’t want to spend energy acting like this was the first time he had spoken to her. After a moment of thought, he told Rupert, “I have actually spoken to her before.”

“I thought you said you didn’t believe in ghosts.”

“I guess I just didn’t want to get my hopes up that she was actually here.”

Livvy snorted, but Rupert nodded slowly. “Yeah, that makes sense. Did you understand the message she wanted to give you? ‘Glass, twin, apple, whisper, stars.’ It made no sense to me.”

“It’s an old vocal stim I used to have. They were words that I would repeat to myself to calm me down. That was only the first few, but it meant a lot that she remembered them.” He directed the last part at Livvy with a flick of his eyes that he hoped Rupert didn’t catch. He was surprised that she remembered. He hadn’t used that particular vocal stim in a long time. Livvy gave a small, almost embarrassed smile.

Kit was looking between the two of them, a soft expression on his face. When he spoke though, it was to Rupert.

“I’m sort of surprised you’re not more freaked out. I mean, we just learned that ghosts are real.”

“I’m not freaked out. Actually, I’m a little relieved.”

“Relieved, why?”

“I’ve always thought I was going crazy. But you guys saw that. There is no way I made all of that up.” He sighed. “My great uncle is a Medium. He says the spirits of the dead talk to him, and he used to actually run a sort of shop where he would try to contact the other side for people. Mum just says he’s crazy and not to talk to him, especially after he started telling me I was going to be a Medium as well.”

“You never told me that.” Kit’s tone wasn’t accusatory; he was simply stating a fact. Ty wished it were socially acceptable to pull out his notebook and take notes on the conversation.

“I didn’t want you to think I was nuts. But I’ve always got weird vibes around certain objects and places. You have to have noticed that Aidan winds me up about it. If you want my honest opinion, I think he’s scared. His gran believes in all the spirit world stuff and I think he does too, but he doesn’t want to admit it. That’s why he went home.”

“You might be right.”

“So, this Medium stuff, has it ever worked for you before?” asked Ty, trying not to sound too eager.

“Not really. I’ve tried messing around with my great uncle’s tarot deck and crystal ball, but I got nothing. Even the other Ouija boards I’ve tried did nothing. This was the first time it’s actually worked.”

So, Livvy’s partially resurrected state must have made it easier for her to open the doorway. Interesting. Ty wondered what a more accomplished Medium would be able to achieve. He wanted to talk the idea over with Kit and Livvy, but he couldn’t do that with Rupert here. He faked a yawn.

“Wow, man. That’s really cool. But by the Angel, I’m tired.”

Kit, taking the hint, followed suit. “God, it’s been a long day. I worked for half the day, and now all of this.”

“I’m about ready to pass out, myself,” agreed Rupert, not moving from the floor. “Do you guys think maybe I could…”

Dammit. He was trying to hint that he wanted to stay. Ty didn’t know how to navigate this situation; it was not one he often found himself in. He stared helplessly at Kit.

“Bro,” Kit nudged Rupert with his foot and gave him a meaningful glance. Rupert blinked at him for a second, then realisation dawned on his face. He coughed awkwardly.

“Ohhhh. Uh, actually, I had better be going. I gotta be home in the morning for, uh, stuff!” He sprang up brightly, gathering his things and scooping up his skateboard. “Nice meeting you, Ty. I still think you’re wayyyy too hot for Herondale.”

“Hey!” Kit rolled his eyes good-naturedly and trailed Rupert to the door, throwing an arm around him. Where most guys Ty had observed would have given two quick thumps on the back before letting go, Kit gave Rupert a squeeze. Rupert squeezed back and released him, a shadow passing briefly across his features. Ty couldn’t decipher it, nor did he overly care to. He wanted the tall, rough looking young man to leave, so they could return to discussing the matter at hand.

At last, the door swung shut behind him, and Kit sauntered over.

“Okay,” Ty began, “First things first, I was thinking that-”

“What I was thinking,” Kit interrupted, stopping in front of Ty’s chair, “Is that we have a hotel room to ourselves.”

“Gross,” said Livvy, and promptly vanished. Ty pinched his eyebrows together in confusion.

“What does that have to- Oh.” His stomach fluttered strangely. Kit gently pried the notebook and pen from his hands and set them on top of the makeshift Ouija board on the coffee table. There had been confidence in his voice and in the gesture, but when he turned back to Ty, it was gone. He suddenly looked very vulnerable. Ty waited, but Kit simply stood in front of him, toying with one of his wristbands.

Ty was not used to taking charge in a situation like this. It had always been Noah reaching for him, Noah pulling him down empty hallways into abandoned classrooms, Noah undoing his gear jacket, pulling his shirt off over his head. There were other memories, too. Ones he tried not to think about. Noah pushing him behind a bookshelf when he heard footsteps, shoving him roughly into the closet when someone knocked on his door, turning away when he tried to set his tray down at lunch.

If he hadn’t witnessed Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood standing up to say “I do” in front of everyone they loved, he might have started thinking that would always be the way of it. Even still, part of him believed what he had had with Noah was all someone like him would get. But hadn’t Kit let him hold his hand in public?

He looked up at Kit now, still a nervous statue in front of him. Kit’s eyeliner was smudged and his baggy crop top was slipping to one side, exposing his left collarbone. He looked adorably uncertain, and Ty found himself reaching out, urging him to come closer. Kit reacted immediately, taking Ty’s hands and interlinking their fingers. Ty pulled, and Kit collapsed onto his lap, burying his face into the crook of Ty’s neck. Ty released one of his hands and curved it around Kit’s back, marvelling again at the softness of his skin.

They stayed like that for a moment in the silence of the hotel room, broken only the sounds of midnight traffic on the street below. Kit’s heartbeat was unsteady against his own, and Ty found the courage to take him softly by the shoulder, drawing him away so he could bend forward and kiss his exposed collarbone, then his neck, then his throat, then his jaw, and finally, his mouth. Kit kissed him back, tasting faintly of cider.

Ty let his hands wander to the hem of Kit’s shirt, playing with the soft fabric for a moment before slowly drawing it up.

“Is this okay?” he breathed.

Kit nodded, raising his arms to allow the shirt to slide over his head. Ty balled it up and dropped it to the floor. The lights were still off, and in the dull orange streetlight glow from the window, Kit was beautiful. His normally blue eyes were leeched of colour, and shadows danced across his pale skin. It was strange to see a torso that wasn’t covered in scars. Kit’s skin was not entirely unblemished; there were marks from bumps and scrapes and childhood injuries, but he lacked the latticework of rune-scars that most Shadowhunters had. Ty wondered what Kit would think of his body with all its Marks and scars. Would he be repulsed?

“Now you,” Kit murmured, tugging at Ty’s shirt. Ty hesitated and Kit saw it, letting his hands fall away. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just, you’re beautiful. And I’m covered in scars.”

A small smile played on Kit’s mouth.

“You think I’m beautiful?”

“Of course I do.” Ty felt his breath hitch a little. “You’re perfect.”

He ran his hands over Kit’s stomach and chest, slowly, taking his time. Kit stayed still, his breathing shallow. Ty wanted to memorise every line.

“I think you’re beautiful, too,” Kit told him softly after a few moments. “I don’t want you to feel self-conscious with me. If you don’t want to take off your shirt that’s okay, but I promise you that there is nothing ugly about you.”

His expression was so sincere that Ty couldn’t doubt him. With shaking fingers he took Kit’s hands, guiding them to the hem of his hoodie. Never before had someone been so gentle with him.

Noah had been awkward and shy at first too, but they had always moved at his pace, with the unspoken acknowledgement that Ty could keep up or leave. And sometimes he had. Noah would find him afterwards, apologise for being so pushy, promise it wouldn’t happen again, but in the end his hands would stray to Ty’s belt buckle once more, and Ty would find himself pulling away, knowing he wasn’t ready.

Kit bunched the hoodie up over Ty’s head, where it stuck. With a low laugh in his throat he let go, and Ty finished removing the garment himself, letting his shirt peel off with it. As it hit the floor, he heard Kit suck in a breath. “Oh my god,”

“What?” asked Ty, resisting the urge to curl his arms around himself.

“Ty, I knew you had muscles, but dude, you’re absolutely fucking ripped.”

“…is that a bad thing?” asked Ty self-consciously. Kit adamantly shook his head.

“You are unbelievably hot.” He pronounced each word individually, eyes wide with wonder. Tentatively, he placed his hands on Ty’s chest. They were warm, and he felt the heat spreading through him. Just as Ty had done moments before, Kit explored with his fingertips, sending little shockwaves of pleasure radiating through Ty’s body. Feeling bold, he placed his hands on Kit’s hips, pushing him gently off his lap and repositioning him so that he was straddling Ty, and their stomachs were touching. Kit stared into his eyes, breathing hard, then at the same time they leaned in, lips crashing together in earnest.

..

They had been kissing for a long time. Kit’s lips felt pleasantly numb as they worked their way down Ty’s neck to the hollow of his collarbones. Ty made a low moaning sound and pulled Kit harder against him. His hands slid down Kit’s back to his behind and squeezed lightly, sending a shockwave through him. No one had touched him in that way before, and he was surprised at how much he liked it. He returned to Ty’s lips and bit at his lower one in a way he had learned Ty enjoyed.

They were still sitting in the chair, Kit straddling Ty’s lap, their shirtless bodies pressed together, but now Kit pulled away, standing up. Ty looked up at him with a question on his face.

“I thought we could, uh, move this to the bed? Maybe?” Kit tried to sound confident, but he ruined it by chewing anxiously on his lip. Ty mirrored his nervousness.

“If you wanna…” He trailed off, looking a little distant.

“I’m not saying I want to- you know.” Kit told him quickly. He couldn’t deny he was thinking about it, but there was no way he would push Ty into something he wasn’t comfortable with.

“You don’t?”

“Well, I mean, I do, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. Or ever, if you don’t want to. I’m content with just being near you.” It was the truth, but a strange look came over Ty’s face. For a moment Kit wondered if he was about to cry. He rose from the chair, taking Kit’s hand and drawing him across the room. They lay carefully on the double bed, facing each other, their hands clasped between them.

“Is it okay if we just go to sleep?” breathed Ty.

“Of course.” Kit’s heart soared at the thought of waking up in Ty’s arms. “Do you want to, like, take off our jeans?”

“Yeah.”

Normally, Kit slept in loose boxer shorts and an old t-shirt with holes in it, but since he had neither of those things tonight, his underwear would have to do. He pretended not to see Ty push a pair of folded pyjamas out from under the pillow, kicking them under the bed. In his underwear, he crawled under the covers and lifted them for Kit. Hands trembling slightly, Kit slid between the sheets.

Over the course of Kit’s life, he had shared many different beds with many different people in many different ways. Honestly, he hated sleeping alone. When he was little, and they were living in a one-bedroom flat, Kit had shared a mattress on the floor with his father, falling asleep to Johnny Rook’s light snores. When Rupert and Aidan slept over, they would all tumble into Kit’s massive bed together, laughing about nothing until all hours of the morning. When he had been with Nicole, he would sometimes sneak in her window on a Saturday night, wrapping himself in rich cotton sheets that smelled like vanilla, and losing himself in her. The only time he had slept over at Aidan’s house they had laid in bed awkwardly, falling asleep with their backs to one another, a chasm of uneasy silence splitting the bed in two.

Climbing into Ty’s bed felt like nothing else in his life. Ty had slept in it for two nights already and it smelled like him. Kit had to stop himself from taking a deep inhale. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what Ty smelled like, except that it was warm and smelled like home. With trembling hands, Ty reached out and drew Kit to him, pressing a light kiss to his mouth.

“Roll over,” he whispered, and Kit obeyed, letting Ty curl around him, tucking his arm over Kit, his stomach warm against Kit’s back. “Goodnight, Kit.”

“Goodnight, Ty.”

Smiling, Kit let himself drift into unconsciousness.

…………………………………

(Chapter 17)

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thank u @sandersgrey and @amchara for for ur constant help w this fic <3

Ty wrestles himself from his thoughts, returning to the present. In a pick up truck, heater blasting and radio just quiet enough to be heard over. Irene sat in his lap, asleep in the weak sunlight drifting in from the windshield. The phone in his hand vibrates with Julian’s recent text. “Yeah.” Ty answer's Kit’s question, his gaze drifting to look at his boyfriend. Kit’s smiling, fingers tapping and voice humming with the music. The morning light makes his hair glow gold, and his Herondale ring glint silver. Kit glances his way, and smiles. "Think it'll be fun?" He asks.

Ty shrugs, "I think it'll be loud." He says, frankly. "And a little fun." He concedes. Big parties were not Ty's idea of fun. But...parties were always better with Kit there. Always more fun. Always more laughs. Even when Ty would have to step out because things just felt too loud. Kit would be right behind. To hold his hand, hug him tight, tell him it was ok if he was done for the night. Ty usually was. Kit never complained about leaving early, was always ready with an excuse to leave if needed. Always seemed content to come back home and spend the night with each other and no one else. 

It was one of the reasons Ty loved Kit so much. 

Sometimes he wondered, in the back of his mind, if Kit ever got annoyed or tired of Ty. If maybe, one day, he would decide that Ty wasn't worth the trouble.

"Probably." Kit agreed. "There are going to be a lot of people there. But at least we know most of them." His hand falls from the wheel and intertwines with Ty's. With the truck turning off the highway and onto a familiar road, Ty licked his lips. "I don't know if I'm ready for Christmas madness." He says. Kit sighs wearily, "No one ever really is." 

Their eyes meet for just a moment and Ty feels himself smile. They pull up the road and park outside the Institute. Irene wakes as they stop, perking up in excitement as she realizes where they are. Before they leave the truck, Ty leans over and steals a kiss from his boyfriend. "It'll be okay. As long as we keep you away from the alcohol." Ty and Irene dash out of the truck before Kit could respond with anything more than a laugh.

They didn't even reach the front door before it was thrust open. "Ty-Ty!!" Tavvy barreled into Ty's awaiting arms, he grunted slightly under the weight. Tavvy wasn't a little kid anymore, that was for sure. But that didn't change the way he always greeted his brother. Even though Ty lived 20 minutes away, and was over every Saturday morning, Tavvy still hugged him as if he hadn't seen him in a hundred years. Ty squeezed his little brother back before Tavvy released him, and crashed into Kit instead. A laugh from the front door tore Ty’s attention to Julian, who was grinning and holding the door open. Irene darted between his legs and into the Institute. No doubt heading for the fireplace. “How was the drive?” Julian asks, like he does every time they visit. “It was fine,” Ty answers, like he does every time. He smiles at this little bit of normal routine. He treasures it, knowing it will soon be ruined when all the guest arrive and the little kids start running around and there are a more people cooking in the kitchen than the fire department would like and-

“Faster!! Faster!!!” Ty is pulled from his spiraling thoughts by Tavvy’s laugh. He turns to find Tavvy has managed his way onto Kit’s back, and Kit is spinning him around and around, faster and faster. Julian rolls his eyes at them and helps Ty unload the gifts they brought from the truck and Ty’s heartbeat calms down. He sneaks a couple of deep breaths when no one is looking. Emma emerges from the hallway, she conscripts Ty to help her put a few more decorations up. Mostly, the mistletoe in the door ways. It’s been tradition for Ty to put those up, every year. His dad used to put him on one shoulder, and Livvy on the other. Together, the three of them would search for the best, or most inconvenient, locations for mistletoes. Now though, Ty did it by himself. 

Julian has taken Kit into the kitchen. Ty can hear them laughing as they start the cooking for the night. When they had first started dating, Kit’s cooking skills had taken him by surprise. Kit had just shrugged and said, “Jem and Tessa taught me some.” As their relationship grew, Kit told him the whole truth. “My dad didn’t take care of himself.” He whispered into the dark between them, one night. “He didn’t take care of me, either. But I was a kid and I didn’t understand that I needed to be taken care of. But he was a mess, a huge, ugly, mean, mess. But he was my dad, too. I thought that meant that I was supposed to take care of him. So I did a lot of the things that he didn’t. I learned to cook, and clean. I bought groceries when he forgot, or when he was out of town for a long time. I just…” He looked over at Ty, his fingers feather light as he brushed away hair from Ty’s face. “I just learned to keep going.” 

Ty hoped that he had shown him, that it was okay to be taken care of. He hoped Kit had learned to sit back, sometimes, and let others do their jobs. 

“I think it looks good,” Emma said, stepping back to look at their handiwork. The mistletoe hung, just out of reach so it wouldn’t get caught in anyone's hair. (That had happened one year, and Helen still refused to walk underneath mistletoe.) But the red berries caught the light just right, and shimmered a little. Ty nods, and Emma reaches up to ruffle his hair. He swats her hand away, but he laughs all the same. He loves the way that Emma tries to make the hole in his heart, where Livvy used to be, a little smaller. “C’mon,” she says, and Ty already knows what she's going to say. “Let's go play some checkers,” 

He’s already nodding before she’s finished. Though, playing checkers on Christmas Eve wasn’t a Ty and Livvy tradition, that one was purely Ty and Emma. The checkers board is worn and faded, and some of the pieces have seen better days but they don’t complain. They set it up in the family room, in front of the fireplace and Christmas tree. Irene has already made her home there, and comes to lay her head on Ty’s lap as they play on the floor. The two of them play while the rest of the Blackthorns make their way into the room. Helen and Aline pass their baby daughter back and forth between themselves. The baby is constantly changing which of her moms is her current favorite. 

Dru, Ash, and Cristina have taken up the floor next to them and are playing some kind of card game with Tavvy. Mark is helping Ash cheat by looking at other people's cards for him. Kieran is doing the same thing for Crisrtina (How Kieran managed to get the holiday off, despite being the literal king of Faire, Ty has absolutely no idea) But somehow Dru is still winning. Julian and Kit are still in the kitchen, and every once in a while shout for Cristina’s help. Mark has offered to help them, and each time there has been a resounding “NO” from everyone within earshot. 

Despite the familial chaos around them, Emma and Ty have made a sort of bubble of calm around themselves. As they take turns creeping their pieces across the board, a shimmering of silver catches Ty’s eye. Emma’s wedding ring sits on her left hand, catching the glow from the fire. She sees him looking and smiles. “I had asked Julain for his Blackthorn ring,” she says, and rolls her eyes. “Because it’s a cute tradition and all. But then Julian flat out refused. I thought he was just attached to his ring or something but, then he told me that it would be pointless.” She slides the ring of her finger, holding it out to him. Ty takes it with gentle hands. It's a simple silver band, there's a gem set in the center. Upon closer inspection, Ty realizes that it's no precious gem, but a bit of shining sea glass. He smiles, thinking about Julian’s sea glass bracelets. He hands the ring back as Emma continues the story.

“He said that exchanging family rings is a sign of each family now accepting the couple as their own. He said it would be pointless for me to have a Blackthorn ring, because I’ve been a Blackthorn this whole time.” She smiles softly at the ring, at the memory. And Ty finds himself agreeing, “That’s right. You’ve always been a Blackthorn.” Emma’s cheeks turn a little pink and she leans over, kissing him on the temple. “Thank you, Ty-Ty.” They smile at one another, for a second, before Emma holds up her right hand. Both a Blackthorn ring, and a Carstairs ring, adorn her fingers. “Still wanted a Blackthorn ring, though. They look cool.”

Ty laughs and shakes his head at her a little. The two of them settle into another comfortable silence as their game continues. Ty moves one piece to the edge of her side of the board. As Emma goes to king it, Ty whispers, “I would want a family ring, too.” He’s not even sure when he’s started thinking about it, but recently, Ty has found himself awake at night, imagining what it would be like to get married. Emma blinks in surprise. But Ty smiles, and he knows it's a dopey, love sick kind of smile, as he looks at his own hand and imagines a Herondale ring on his finger. “Like you said,” His voice is quiet, like he’s sharing a secret, “It’s a cute tradition.” When he dares a glance back at Emma, she’s smiling at him and giving him a look he can’t really understand. 

She almost looks like she's going to say something when a cry from the other side of the room breaks into their thoughts. Tavvy has stood up, his hands on his hips as he glares at Cristina, Mark, Ash, and Kieran. “You’re cheating!!! I can’t believe you!!” He shouts and they look away, guilty as charged. Dru has collapsed onto the ground, laughing. Emma shares one last glance at him, and winks, before going to help Tavvy dole out punishments. Ty sits there for a moment, wondering why he feels like Emma knows something he doesn’t. 

~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~

Cooking with Julian is always a high stakes game. Most of the time, Kit tries to keep Julian from even looking at what he's doing. Knowing that no matter what he does, Julain will tell him it's wrong. Truth be told, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way Kit cooks. In fact, Kit is a damn fine cook, and he knows it. Julian just has a very specific way of doing things, and if it's not done Julian's way, well then, it's not right. 

It doesn't help that the two of them have a silent rivalry when it comes to cooking and secret recipes. 

Despite this, they still manage to work in a smooth and seamless team. They know what dishes they will make, and which ones they will not touch. (Kit will never stuff a turkey. Sorry, but he draws the line at shoving his hand up a turkey's ass.)(but likewise, Julian will never let anyone know how bad he is at making pies.) This was the first time that the LA Institute was holding the big Christmas party. So Kit got the feeling that Julian wanted to impress everyone. Kit wasn’t sure why he wanted to do that, everyone has been impressed by him since he took over the Institute at age twelve. But it was also kind of sweet, the way Julian still wanted to impress the people older than him. Kit would never say that to his face, but he would think it every now and then. 

As they cooked, the conversation between them flowed easily. They laughed and teased and Kit was immensely grateful that Julian never brought up the one thing Kit didn’t want to talk about. Even though it was clear that he was dying for news, Julian never brought up the engagement. Kit’s anxiety was already high, buzzing constantly under his skin. The last thing he needed was for people to start voicing the questions he already had or to judge his plan or his idea. 

Truthfully, Kit didn’t even have a plan. Not really. He was just praying to the Angel that the perfect opportunity would just….happen….

His peace in the kitchen with Julian didn’t last long, however. While they put everything in the oven to bake, or the fridge to chill, the two of them went to join the others in the living room and wait for their guests to arrive. Kit wasn’t entirely sure what had happened while they were in the kitchen. But somehow, Cristina, Mark, Kieran, and Ash were all wearing Santa hats that had “Naughty List” written on them, while Emma took photos on her phone. Ash and Cristina were trying to get the phone from her. Mark seemed to be enjoying the attention. Meanwhile, Dru and Tavvy were inhaling chocolates, and every once and a while they would throw one just to see if Kieran could catch it in his mouth. For the King of Fairie, he was surprisingly undexterous. 

Among all this chaos, was Ty. He was sitting on the couch with Helen and Aline and their baby. He was laying his head against Helen’s shoulder as she ran her long fingers through his hair. Kit thought that Ty might fall asleep at any moment. He came to join them as Julian took the baby from Aline’s arms. For a man who, by all accounts, should be tired of children. He adored babies. Kit let out a laugh as Julian threatened to keep the baby for himself and Aline threatened to stuff him into the turkey. 

Ty opened his eyes just enough to give Kit a sleepy smile as he sat down. “Hey,” Ty murmured. “Hey,” Kit said back, pulling Ty’s legs onto his lap. Ty leaned a little farther back against Helen, and she swatted his hair away before turning to talk to Aline and Julian. Giving them a little pocket of privacy. Which Kit appreciated. 

"How's it goin’?" He says in a singsong voice. Ty shrugs, "Pretty good. Emma and I played checkers."

"Did you win?"

"Of course I won. Someone in this relationship has to be a winner." 

Kit feigned offense. "I'm hurt. To think my own boyfriend could be so cruel." Ty chuckled, but didn't say anything, his eyes already closing. It only took moments for Ty to fall asleep against his sister. Kit slid Ty's shoes off and placed them on the floor, knowing how much Ty hated sleeping with his shoes on. When he looked up, he realized that the chatter of the Blackthorns had stopped. Now, everyone was looking at him. Most of them were smiling mischievously. Kit felt his cheeks go red. "What?"

Emma snorted. "What', he says. Like he doesn't know." She stuck her tongue out at him, he would have returned it if Dru hadn't thrown a chocolate at him. "Oww!" He hissed as it bounced off his forehead. Dru paid him no head, "When are you gonna do it!" She all but shouts. Both Kit and Helen shush her, Kit holds his breath as Ty shifts a little, but doesn't wake. He lets out a sigh of relief. "Watch it," Kit warns, tossing the chocolate back at Dru. She catches it effortlessly. 

"You didn't answer the question…" Ash points out. Kit finds that he can't look at them. Any of them. So he looks at Ty's legs on his lap, and picks a speck of lint of his Christmas sweater. "Tonight," he says, simply. "When?" Cristina prompts. To this, he stays silent. The silence draws on, awkward and heavy between them all. 

"Kit..." Aline draws.

"Christopher." Mark throws his Santa hat at Kit. He swats it away and feels his face grow hot. 

Finally, Ash just sighs and announces, "He doesn't have a plan. He thinks the 'right moment' will just happen." The room erupts into outraged shouts and groans. Helen and Kit shush everyone again, and by some Christmas miracle, Ty stays asleep. Everyone lowers their voices, but still berates Kit for his poor planning. 

"You can't just know. Knowing you, you'll probably just chicken out." -Dru.

"Por el amor de Dios. You've GOT to be kidding me," -Cristina.

"Do you have any plans? At all???" -Helen.

"You put too much trust in him," -Tavvy.

"Alright fine. All that matters, is that he has a ring," At Aline’s addition, Kit perked up. "I do have that!" He said, a little too excitedly. "Where is it?" Mark asked. Kit held up his right hand, with his Herondale ring. 

There was a mixed chorus of replies. Helen thought that he should probably clean the ring before he gave it to him, which was true. Mark thought that giving your family ring was cheating a little. While the room broke into sides about whether giving your family ring was romantic, or cheap, a hand came to rest on Kit’s shoulder. It was Emma, who had come around to the back of the couch. "Hey, Kit?" He turned his head to her at that. Emma smiled at him, and then nodded to Ty, "You're going to be just fine." 

Her assurance in him flooded warmth in his chest. He found himself smiling, letting out a breath of relief. Emma pressed a kiss to his cheek, and patted his shoulder.

So maybe Kit didn't really have a plan. And maybe he was a total coward and even just thinking about getting down on one knee made his palms sweat uncontrollably. But Emma Carstairs, yes, the Emma Carstairs, hugged his shoulders from behind, and told him "You got this." So. Yeah. Kit had this in the bag. 

Hopefully.

~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~

The party was in full swing. The guests had arrived right on time. (Well, the Lightwood-Banes were fashionably late. But that was expected.) The dining room hadn't been big enough for all the guests. So everyone had gathered their food on plates and spread out through the Institute. Kit had forgotten how many people he actually knew. Every room he went into, he ran into a familiar face. Every room had a different game or conversation, a different Christmas song in the background. Though he stopped in every room, there was only one face he wanted to find. He and Ty had gotten separated at some point, and in a party like this, it was nearly impossible to find each other again. 

He was passing through the kitchen when a small figure, glad in a red and green tutu, crashed into his legs. "Kit-kat!" Mina yelled, and held her arms up to be picked up. She was getting too big to do that, but neither of them cared. Kit scooped her up and tickled her side. She laughed, and the sound was sorely missed. Kit visited Devon almost weekly, but it never felt like enough. "Did you grow taller since last week?" Kit asked. A laugh from behind caught him by surprise. Tessa and Jem were in the doorway, both in cheesy Christmas sweaters. "She most certainly did." Jem remarked, coming to put his arm around Kit’s shoulders. 

Kit leaned into him instinctively, letting Jem's steady presence reassure him. He took a deep breath of his dad's scent, and then asked, "Have either of you seen Ty?" Tessa shook her head, "No. I take it you haven't asked yet, then?" Kit shook his head. 

"Kit," Mina whispered, cupping her hand around his ear, like she was going to tell him a secret. "Can I be the flower girl at your wedding?" Kit held in his laugh, looking at her seriously. He nodded once. "Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." Mina beamed. Kit glanced over at Tessa, and found her smiling a secret sort of smile at him. She nodded to the back door, "Shall we?" 

He wasn't sure what they were going to do, but he nodded all the same. Jem took Mina from his arms, and ruffled his hair. Tessa held her hand out to him and he took it. She lead him out the backdoor and into the statue garden. Kit hadn't realized how hot it was before the cold air hit his face. A breeze rippled through his hair. "It's strange to see Christmas without snow," Tessa remarks, staring out at the stars. Her soft brown curls were pinned up with pearls, gleaming softly in the low light. Not for the first time, Tessa looked both impossibly young, and wise with age at the same time. 

They sit on a stone bench, and are quiet for a long moment. "I want to give you something, Kit." Tessa finally said. Kit raised an eyebrow, "You know, Christmas isn’t until tomorrow." Tessa smiled, "Then consider this an early present." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. 

"What, you proposing to me, now?" 

Tessa rolled her eyes and handed him the box. Kit clicked it open, and his breath caught. "Tessa…" 

Inside the box, was a shinning, silver, Herondale ring. It looked just as old as Kit's, but it was smoother, and a little smaller. Tessa wrapped her arm around him, "The one you wear," she says, "Was James's." He turns to her at that. "I didn't know." The fact that she had given that to him, even when he was fifteen and angry all the time. But Tessa only shrugs. "I figured, both my sons should have it." 

She brushes a finger against the ring in the box. "This one," she whispers, "Was Cordelia's. You can tell, because she didn't get nearly as much ichor on it as James did." She laughs at this, and Kit thinks about the pictures of Cordelia at the house in Devon. "I imagine her pure beauty and talent repelled dirt and ichor." He murmured and Tessa snorted. "She was...one of a kind. Like your Ty." She nudges Kit, and when he looks up at her, the soft and loving look she gives him makes his eyes well up with tears. 

“Will proposed to me on Christmas, too.” She says, her voice impossible soft. He hugs her then, tight. His head tucking under her chin like he was a teenager again and not a young man. “You’re going to be just fine, Kit. He loves you, and you love him, and that's all that matters. The rest is just…” She gestures at the garden around them, “I was going to say snow, but maybe in LA, it would be sand.” Tessa shrugs at her failed analogy. “Nothing else matters,” She explained, and looked him in the eyes with a stern look, “Just as long as you love one another. And I know you do.” 

"Thank you," he crooked. Tessa kissed his forehead. "I love you, Kit," she whispered. She knew how hard the words were hard for him to say to her, and to Jem. So when Kit whispered back, "I love you, too." She squeezed him tight. 

Kit left Tessa in the statue garden, and made his way back into the party. The ring, a comforting weight in his pocket. His head felt clearer and he knew where Ty would be. 

Kit knocked on the trap door before lifting it up. He climbed onto the roof, instantly getting hit with memories of him and Ty sneaking away at dozens of events. Sure enough, Ty sat at the edge of the roof. When he saw Kit approach, he grinned. Kit sat next to him, "Hey stranger," he ran his hand up Ty's back. He felt him shiver. 

"It got kind of loud." Ty said, by way of explanation. Kit nodded in agreement. Even now, a gentle Christmas song floated through an open window and up to the roof. "We can go whenever you want," he reminds him, like he always does. Ty tends to get it in his head that his needs don't matter. Kit does the same thing, too. So they take care of each other. With little reminders or quiet company. 

Ty shakes his head. "I'm good," he glances at Kit, "I just want to sit up here, with you. If that's okay?" He tilts his head, his dark hair falling into his silver eyes. Kit reaches out and brushes it back. "Of course it is," his hand lingers on Ty’s cheek, and he leans into the touch. Ty turns his face, kisses Kit’s palm. 

Something happens at this moment. Maybe the light just, hit him just right. Maybe the goddamn Angel himself sent a sign. Maybe Kieran was down below, using some Fairie King Magic to make everything just right. It didn't really matter how it happened, the point is, everything was perfect. Nothing in Kit’s life had ever been perfect. Except for this. Except for Ty.

A cool breeze turned their noses and cheeks red. Their fingers into icicles. Baby It's Cold Outside is playing softly in the distance. And Kit finds himself humming along. So he stands up, and holds out his hand. "Dance with me," He says, his voice sounding low even in his own ears. Ty laughs but takes his hand. "We can have our own little party right now," Kit grins, pulling Ty up. 

Ty rolls his eyes but let's Kit lead him in a dance, anyway. "You're a dork," he remarks. Kit spins him, "And you're beautiful." Ty blushes. Even now that they're grown and Kit tells him he's beautiful every chance he gets, Ty still blushes. And it makes Kit's heart soar. Kit tugs him closer by the waist, "I love you," he whispers, and feels his voice crack a little. Because it's true. Kit loves him, more than he knew he could possibly love someone. And everyday, it grows just a little bit more. 

"Ty, I-"

 Shit. 

He can't even get the worst out. He swallows thickly. There's a pressure building in his eyes. He knows he's going to cry, but at this point. Ty has seen every twisted, rotten, vulnerable, messy, wonderful side of Kit. He's seen him cry a dozen times before, so really, at this point, Kit doesn't care. 

"Ty, I love you so much." Tears are already welling in his eyes and his feet are struggling to keep moving. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Kit has to clear his throat to keep going. They've stopped dancing now, and Ty is wiping away his tears with gentle fingers. 

"What's wrong, Christopher?" 

Kit hiccups a sob as his name leaves his loved one's mouth. "Nothing. I'm sorry I just-" he forces a watery laugh. "I don't want to be with anyone else. Tiberius. I love you. Do you….do you understand?" From the way that Ty blinks at him, the way his face is pinched in concern, Kit doesn't think he does. He curses himself. Trust him to make some confusing love confession while sobbing. At this point, there is only one way for him to be completely clear. Kit takes Ty's hand.

He gets down on one knee.

Ty's eyes widen. His chest rises and falls rapidly. His fingers tighten their grip on Kit’s hand.

"Tiberius." Kit says, his voice steadier. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves the blue velvet box. He clicks it open. 

"Will you marry me?" 

There's a silence for a long time and Kit fears the worst-

Until Ty meets his eyes. Kit sees that the reason he hasn't spoken, is simply because his hand is covering his mouth, tears streaming down his cheeks. But he's grinning from ear to ear and nodding rapidly. "Yes." He chokes out. "Yes. Angel yes, I'll marry you, Christopher!!" He tugs Christopher up and it's hard to tell which one of them pulls the other into a kiss, but it's watery, a little salty, and the sweetest thing Kit has ever experienced. Ty’s hands fist into his sweater, and Kit tugs him closer with one hand, the other carefully holding the ring up and out of the way. Ty kisses him harder, like he can’t express how he feels in any other way than by closeness and pressure and heat and-

Kit stumbles back, his foot sliding on a patch of ice and he comes crashing down on the roof, pulling Ty down with him. He lands with a loud bang and he groans as pain spikes up his back and Ty’s elbow collides with his ribs. Ty can’t even apologize, he’s already laughing. Kit joins him and then there they are. On the cold, wet, icy roof. Tears flowing down both their cheeks, and they’re laughing. Kit manages to slide the ring onto Ty’s cold finger, but he can’t bring himself to find the strength to stand. 

The trap door suddenly bursts open and Julian Blackthorn’s head appears, “Is everything okay?! We heard a bang-shit, what happened?” 

Kit and Ty laugh harder as Julian pulls himself onto the roof and the heads and faces of all their friends and family pop in and out of view. Kit wonders if they’ve been waiting down there the whole time. If Tessa ran off to tell everyone that Kit was going to do it as soon as their conversation had finished. 

Probably. 

They all share bewildered looks, but instead of forming coherent sentences, Kit just laughs, brushes away a tear, and holds up Ty’s left hand in victory. A roar of cheers and applause erupt from down below, one that sounds like it starts from Emma and Ash. Julian pulls them up and brushes off some of the dirty ice from the roof, before they are ushered down the ladder and into the warm, welcoming, rejoicing arms of their family. 

Even as Jem squeezes him tight and Jace ruffles his hair, Kit’s eyes never leave Ty’s. 

He grins.

“She loved the stars.”

Ty broke the silence, his voice detached and wistful. The barely contained emotion behind it made Kit want to cry. He turned to look at the boy, but his features were blurred by darkness. He could feel, rather than see, the grief etched into every part of his face. From the curve of his cheekbone to the tilt of his lips. Kit had the sudden urge to take the boy’s hand and comfort him. 

He was met with no resistance as he squeezed Ty’s hand. Ty, seemingly subconsciously interlocked their fingers and squeezed back. 

Kit followed Ty’s gaze to the stars. “She loved them on Earth, and now she is among them forever, at peace.” 

Kit was surprised at how great that sounded. He mentally patted himself on the back and did a celebration dance  at his fancy poetic-ness. Point for Herondale!! He thought smugly.

“At peace.” Ty muttered to himself, doubt lacing his tone. He looked at Kit for the first time. Even in the darkness, Kit could feel his brilliant orbs of grey, examining him. “Do you really believe so?”

Before being a Shadowhunter, he thought there was nothing after death but perhaps pain and sorrow. Now, he believed that for good people, like Livvy, there were great things for them. “I know so.” 

Ty seemed to trust Kit’s opinion. For the first time, he truly relaxed. He sank from a troubled boy to one simply watching the stars. He leaned against Kit, yawning in exhaustion. Kit knew that he barely slept these days, plagued with “what-ifs” and thoughts of his sister. All the sleepless nights finally seemed to be getting to him. 

A chilly ocean breath settled over them, and Ty shivered. Kit put an arm around him immediately, protecting him from both the cold air and the world. Ty sighed and leaned his head on his shoulder, nuzzling under the crook of his neck. Kit momentarily stiffened, but softened by a happy glow and a giddy sort of feeling. Tiberius’ warmth seemed to heat Kit from the outside in. Kit frowned, thinking about how backwards that was, but decided it was too late to think. Rather, he focused on the beautiful boy in his arms, and the relaxing lull of his heartbeat and the waves. 

Well, to be honest, Ty’s heartbeat was almost as fast as Kit’s, making the waves much more soothing. But the speeding of Ty’s heartbeat had its own sort of pull, so he paid more attention to that. 

A quicksilver gleam of light caught Kit’s attention. Ty pointed with his free hand, his eyes widening in childlike curiosity and awe.

“A shooting star.” Kit breathed, and the very air around them seemed to warm.

“Livvy.” Ty corrected, his fingers tracing the star's path through the sky before falling back into his lap. The air around them hummed in agreement and Kit nodded confirmation. “Livvy.”

“She is watching us, taking care of our family. I can feel it.” Ty’s declaration was a soft whisper, spoken with hope, love, and a bit of sorrow. Kit gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You’re right.”

The word “our” kept replaying in his head. Did that mean that Ty saw Kit as a member of the family? Or as close as one?

He could feel it too, the sweet protection. That of a friend and sister, watching over him and protecting  looking out for him. There was a pang in his heart as he remembered Livvy. Her laugh, her cleverness, her friendship…

Tears stung his eyes, and he buried his face in Ty’s hair, needing comfort suddenly as well. 

After a minute or two, he shifted his head to be resting on top of Ty’s, a bit of a feat since his was taller than him. 

They stayed that way for a while, drawing comfort from each other and watching the stars. 

Around a half hour later, Ty fell asleep on Kit’s shoulder. His soft breath tickled Kit’s neck, and Kit smiled down at him. Carefully, Kit shifted his arm under Ty’s legs and carried him, bridal style. Buckling a bit under the weight, he pursued, refusing to drop his precious bundle. 

He deposited him on Ty’s bed, and tucked the covers around him purposefully and with loving care.

As Kit turned to leave, starlight flickering through the window sight on Ty’s peaceful eyelashes. 

“Beautiful” Kit thought.

Unable to resist the urge, Kit leaned down and brushed a kiss on his cheek, right under his starlight filled eyelash. 

The sleeping boy murmured and smiled softly. 

Kit felt a familiar kick in his stomach, and hurried out the door, refusing to consider what the smile meant. 

It was only when he was in his own room that he realized what Ty had murmured.

*

Iratze, blood replacement, strengthening rune, endurance rune, another Iratze.

Ty applied each rune with careful hands. Every mark stood a stark black across Kit’s chest, his arms, the side of his neck. Ty caressed them, like checking if the ink had already dried from a sheet of paper.

He was about to put an energy rune on Kit when Livvy stopped him.

“I think I should leave you two alone”

“Why?” Ty frowned at her.

Livvy surveyed her brother’s pursed lips, the dark, sunken hollows under his eyes and the delicate yet hungry way in which his hands moved on Kit’s bare skin, as if careful not to hurt him, yet unable to break away their touch.

It reminded her of when they were children, and they dared each other to write their own names without lifting the pen off the paper. Livvy’s always seemed like an unintelligible scribble, but Ty managed to write in a neat, elegant scroll that seemed like it was made by an artist.

She looked at him and knew that when Kit woke up, which would probably be as soon as the energy rune took effect, an important conversation would have to take place. They were searching for each other for so long, not in so many actions, but in their hearts. Whatever might happen in that conversation, couldn’t happen if she was there.

“I would come if you need me..” She looked at her twin with knowing sincerity. “But I don’t think you will.”

*

Kit lay on the damp grass and watched the sun play tricks on his half-lidded eyes.

He liked it, letting small rays of light escape through his lashes and paint beautiful, unrealistic images on the inside of his mind.

Sometimes, when he needed inspiration, he would lay there for hours and listen to the forest whisper a whole symphony in his ears, one he would never be able to replicate, but would always try.

As he felt the tips of his fingers bathe in the mid-days warmth, a shadow fell over him.

“Kitty!” his favorite voice in the world cried in ringing delight, and Mina jumped on his stomach with all her might.

Kit pretended to be fatally injured and called Jem for urgent assistance.

As he appeared, and a slightly worried crease pinched Mina’s forehead, Kit snatched her like she was nothing but a tiny, raggedy doll and held her close to him. She screamed in protest, and as retaliation, he tickled her until she surrendered.

Jem’s soft laughter made him look up. His head stood right in front of the sun and blinding rays of light weaved through the dark strands of his black hair, making him look like an odd, beautiful planet.

“You’ve caught some sun, Christopher”

Jem’s voice was amused, though Kit couldn’t manage to see his mouth move beyond the shadows that hid his face.

“Have I?”

“Yes, you’re practically glowing”

“Like a radiant bride?” Kit teased.

“More like the sun, I reckon.”

“Oh”. Something about that statement made Kit feel uneasy, but he couldn’t remember why.

“I believe you’ve spent enough time out here, son. I think it’s better if you wake up now”

Kit frowned in confusion. “Wake up? I’m hardly asleep, Jem. You’re all lovely to look at and all, but I doubt I would dream of Min kicking me in the gut.. maybe church. But if it was a dream, I would have kicked back”

He grinned at his father with innocent wickedness. But Jem still smiled serenely.

“No, my dearest. I assure you that this is a dream, one from which it is imperative you wake.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s time, Christopher.”

“Time for what?”

Jem wasn’t the cryptic type, and Kit still couldn’t see his eyes. He shifted his head, trying to see Jem’s expression in its fullest, but weirdly enough, the sun seemed to move with him and kept its safe place right behind Jem’s head.

“Kitty!” He suddenly became aware that Mina was still in his arms. He focused his gaze on her and watched in surprise as she lifted her small palms to his face.

Her grip was soft, yet strong as iron. She arched her red lips in a smile and whispered to his ear.

“Kitty, wake up!”

*

“Kit, wake up”

Kit opened his eyes to a whirling grey storm. They still stung from the brightness of his dream, and the sudden change made him flinch.

All of a sudden, his view cleared and he saw Ty’s sharp features leaning away from him.

“Ty!” He called in relief, and bolted to a sitting position, reaching to cup Ty’s face in his hands. The sudden movement made his head spin, and he staggered back on his elbows.

“Stay down, you need to rest your head.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. How did- are you okay?”

He tried to focus his eyes on Ty, but his vision kept blurring back to the black, blinding spots from the sun.

“Yeah, I’m... I’m okay. I came looking for you with Livvy. She helped me find you.” Ty’s voice sounded strained, but Kit’s ears kept ringing with Mina’s chiming voice.

“Find me? With Livvy? Where is she?”

He peeked through his lashes, trying to locate her white glow through the haziness.

“Livvy left for Jessamine. Apparently, she’s been frantic for hours, kept knocking off glasses and trying to demand that you were found.”

“Wow”, Kit gaped. “I didn’t know she liked me that much.”

And at that, Ty’s words sank in.

“Wait, what do you mean for hours? And.. find me? Why did you need to find me? you were right there and I-“

Kit’s words hushed into a confused silence as he retraced through his last recollections; Ty’s limp figure in the entrance to the hall, the ceiling raining down rocks and himself, trapped behind that massive boulder. He definitely broke something, maybe even a few somethings. He saw his left palm, pulsing with all the light and energy he could muster.. and he saw the darkness, lulling him to sleep like a soft blanket.

He opened his eyes, his heart hammering unevenly in his chest, and sat down slowly. He couldn’t look at Ty, afraid to see the knowing expression on his face, so he looked at his surroundings.

The first thing he noticed was the ruins. Everywhere around them were shattered piles of rocks, but he himself lay inside a neatly drawn circle of dust. It was too neat, too precise. He didn’t need to remember the night’s events to understand what happened.. and knowing Ty, neither did he.

Kit shivered. He lifted his arms to warm himself, only to find bare skin. He looked down at the disheveled remains of his gear and felt the burning crawl of shame and fear climbing up his neck. It was too much, it was all way too much.

He sank his face in his hands and tried as hard as he could to dissolve into thin air, like the ash between his fingers, like the dread that swallowed his heart whole.

It wasn’t until Ty’s touched his skin to his, prying his hands away from the barricading shield they created, that he felt the slick remains of his tears.

Kit didn’t cry much, there was a time he thought there was something wrong with him because of that. Then again, there were many reasons why something would be wrong with him… reasons he spent years trying to overcome. He felt the lucid cold of that night on Lake Lynn, and the flattened pain of his ravaged heart, twisting their way into his mind. He was, simultaneously, too much to handle and barely there at all to take notice of.

He was almost on that edge, his hands trembling like they were also trapped within Kit’s memories until the gentle embrace of Ty’s fingers pulled him back.

Kit straightened his gaze in defiance, ready for the sharpened questions in Ty’s eyes, but found nothing.

Ty’s eyes darted all around him, pleading worry plain and naked smeared all over his face. He wasn’t looking for answers, he wasn’t looking at Kit’s lack of clothing or at the stark evidence of Kit’s powers all around them. He just only looking for Kit.

The sudden rush of tenderness punched a hole through Kit’s defenses, shattering it completely.

“Ty…”

“I didn’t believe them, Kit. You were trapped here for hours, and I didn’t even know... They said you were dead, and I was knocked out and couldn’t help you and I-“ his voice cracked, “I’m sorry, Kit. I’m so sorry. I should have been here to help you. It was all my fault.”

His voice died down to a whisper, and his eyes fell to his lap, burning bright with unshed tears.

“No, Ty...  You, you saved me, don’t you remember? You took a fireball straight to the chest for me, that’s why you were knocked down.” Kit traced a finger across his cheek like he was wiping the tear that wasn’t there.

“I didn’t believe them,” Ty repeated. “You said you would never leave me again, so I knew you must still be here. I didn’t believe them, because I believed you.”

Kit felt the sweet brush of Ty’s breath on his lips, making him shiver down to his toes. There was truth in him, that he never saw in Ty before. It wasn’t that Ty lied, he was alarmingly honest, to the point of bluntness. But that kind of honesty was from the inner layers of his soul, so much so that Kit felt like he was touching it with his bare hands.

“You’re right,” he swallowed hard, “I would have never left you. I never will.”

Ty’s face lit up with the ferocity of the sun, and Kit was mesmerized by the clean beauty of him. His lashes thick and startlingly dark against the silver in his eyes, feathering down across flushed, sharp cheekbones. His lips were slightly parted, stuck on their way from astonishment to a smile. Kit could see the small shimmering traces of his tongue, glittering like stars in the ever-increasing light.

But they were inside a dark, collapsed cave. There were no lamps or witchlights around them, but Ty was still glowing as the light came from right under him, where their hands were still clasped.

With a sinking realization, Kit lowered his eyes to find that, in fact, the light came exactly from between their hands. Between his hands.

With a yelp, he pulled his hands away and leaned as far from Ty as he could manage without falling to his back.

“No!” Ty called, the smile ripped away from his face and left an angry, desperate abyss. “Stop it, Kit!”

Kit froze and stared at Ty with horror.

“You don’t get to do that anymore” he reached to grab Kit’s hands in his. “You don’t get to shove me off like I’m-“

“Ty, please” Kit cried and tried to release himself from Ty’s iron grip, but couldn’t.

“You don’t understand, Ty... I’m- I can’t-“ he murmured with barely contained sorrow.

“So explain it to me, Kit.” He punctuated every word. “Explain why for weeks you keep pushing me away, just explain it to me, because you act like you can’t be around me but then you say these things… your screensaver is a photo of our beach, you wrote me these letters for years but after you kissed me you just.. you just sent me away.”

Ty’s voice was the hard, desperate truth that Kit tried to avoid until he could figure out on his own how to take control, but there was nowhere to escape.

“I-“ Kit’s chest was heaving, chasing one breath after the other before he could fully take them in. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” Ty touched his palm to Kit’s, and he could feel the wild current of energy going through Ty’s body like electricity.

“Yes!” His voice rose to a shout. “Look, I’m hurting you right now!”

“I don’t care, Kit!” He shouted back, the force of his grip making Kit’s bones grind against each other, though he barely noticed the pain.

“That’s why you keep avoiding me? That’s why you won’t even look at me?”

Every word Ty said hit Kit like a thousand rocks, tumbling down onto his heart. He managed to pry away his hands from Ty’s but Ty kept pushing him back until he almost hit a wall of piled stones.

“That’s why you won’t let me touch you?” Kit stopped thrashing and looked at Ty, his eyes wide with savage grief, like Kit’s words, not his powers, were breaking him apart.

In his heart, Kit heard the rumble of a shattering glass.

“Ty, you have to believe me, there’s nothing I want more than to-“ his whole body was vibrating from the effort to control himself, but energy flooded his veins, poured down from his skin to his fingernails. He had to make Ty understand.

“Every time I look at you, every time I hear your voice say my name or your hand accidentally brushes mine... the effect you have on me-“ Why couldn’t he find words? When he needed them the most, they failed him.

Kit clung to every movie he watched, every book he read, and searched frantically for the right thing to say.

“I know I’ve been hiding things from you, but it’s not because I want to keep you away… I swear. I wanted to protect you from it, Ty. I owe you that much. After everything I did, after all of my mistakes, I owe you at least that much.”

Ty lips curled into a grim smile, and Kit couldn’t bear it any longer. He shut his eyes hard and willed his heart to compliance.

“Kit,” his voice imprinted soft pedals across Kit’s neck. “I believe you, didn’t you hear me say that before?”

Ty carefully laced their fingers together, and Kit let him, too tired to fight him away.

“I believe in you. I believe in this. You can never hurt me.”

A hot tear melted on Kit’s cheek like a snowflake in the fire.

“Will you look at me? I need you to know that I mean it, Kit.”

Kit opened his eyes but didn’t look at Ty. He looked at their intertwined hands, and at the threatening glow that shined like a hidden candle.

Kit took a deep breath and listened to the steady beating of Ty’s heart. It was so implausible, that his heartbeats could be so calm… like a river, the unyielding flow of its temper beating down the night, that Kit had to try again. He focused on that rhythm with everything that he had and raised his eyes to face the man in front of him.

Ty’s eyes pinned him in place immediately, and Kit knew that there was nothing anyone could do to make him look away.

“I’ve known for a while that there was something that you’ve been hiding. At first, I tried to figure it out for myself, so I could protect you from whoever is after you.. but that only did the opposite of what I wanted. I needed you to trust me again, so I had to trust you. I had to trust that your secrets, whatever they are, are safer in your hands than in mine… and they are yours to give away. Don’t you see, Kit? I know… I know and I don’t care. I don’t care as long as you’re with me.”

Ty looked at him like he was the only answer he ever needed to know, like there was nothing more important than this very second, this very light, trapped forever between their hearts.

Kit breathed Ty’s words and felt again that calm sureness smoothing away the frayed edges of his anxiety. He would never hurt Ty, he couldn’t, and that plain knowledge molded into a glistening blazing light in the palm of his hand.

The light washed over them like a ray of distilled sunshine, clinging to every curve of Ty’s face like a ghostly whisper.

Without knowing how they closed the distance between them so that one couldn’t know who’s heart was beating the loudest.

Kit caressed Ty’s lips with his eyes, breathed the cottoned dimples on his cheeks and counted each marvelous shade of silver in his irises.

“Tell me,” Kit said. And it was barely a whisper, but he needed nothing more.

“I love you, Christopher.”

Ty didn’t hesitate, he didn’t miss a single beat before releasing Kit’s hands only to pull his face towards him, and steal his very last breath, straight from his lips.

It burned, it burned like the sun dug its way under Ty’s skin and everywhere he touched left a mark.

His tongue licked fire at the base of Kit’s throat, his fingers turned his bones to ashes as they sank lower down his back. And his heart, his heart was marked all over, with tears and rain and the smell of ink that didn’t leave Ty’s skin in the three years they spent apart.

Kit pressed his nose to the hollow above Ty’s sternum and breathed so deeply he feared he might faint. With another shaky breath, he clawed his fingers in the collar of Ty’s shirt and forced his eyes to stay still.

“I need you to tell me what you want, Ty.” His voice was horas, wanting, but he made every word count. He needed Ty to choose this, choose him.

“I want to touch you”. It echoed all through Kit’s body, like a desperate shout, reverberating across empty halls.

“You are touching me.” Kit answered with a small smile.

“I want to touch you more.”

Kit drew a sharp breath. Ty’s words hit him like a cigarette tossed into a pool of gasoline, flaring up the blood in his veins with unbearable heat.

He only nodded, there was nothing he could phrase that would explain the way he felt, so he pulled Ty into his lap and let his long fingers slide across his body like a tide over a helpless sea.

There wasn’t much left of his clothes, to begin with, but Ty made the remains of his gear crumble under his touch like smoke, evaporating with a blink of an eye.

behind the dark curtain of his lashes, Ty’s eyes gleamed bright and hungry like a panther’s as they slid down Kit’s naked torso, all the way to his naval. In the years since he found out that he was a Shadowhunter, Kit had a love-hate relationship with his own body. He was relieved every time he received any kind of appreciation for his appearance… not in the manner of beauty, but more in the way of finding his own place amongst the race of these super hot, highly maintenance angel warriors. But this, this, how Ty’s eyes drank every muscle and scar made Kit unleash a low growl of pleasure.

“Ty,” Kit breathed, and the soft hairs on Ty’s skin stood up in salute.

“I want to-“ I want to feel your skin under my mouth, I want to know how you sound when I graze my teeth across that jawline of yours, that jawline that can cut me without even noticing. I want to feel that you’re mine.

He couldn’t say none of these things, but Ty understood. He took Kit’s hand and tucked it under the hem of his shirt, guiding him upwards, until they rested over his heart. It slammed against his palm, an uneven dance of raging anticipation.

Kit peeled the fabric off, exploring inch by inch the wonders of Ty’s skin, admiring how every touch made his breath heavier and sweeter than the one before it. He buried his face in the wide field of Ty’s chest, inhaling his soft whispers, egging him on.

His body felt like it could no longer contain his heart. The violent joy of how Ty’s cherry red and swollen lips trembled as Kit found the buckle of his belt, made his blood burst like lava all through his quivering limbs.

Ty put both hands on the rock behind them and lifted himself so that Kit could remove the rest of their gear. Kit wanted to look at him, to see the places where his snowy skin was even paler, to look for scars and ask for every tale that came with them, but the look on Ty’s face was more important. He trusted Kit - with his body - and with his heart. It made him want to cry, to break down on the dusty stone floor and tell Ty that he loved him, that he loved him because his heart couldn’t bear not to.

Instead, he pushed Ty off him and down to the ground. He crawled up his body to meet his lips. Ty put both of his hands on his chest, both to steady him and to keep him at bay.

“Have- have you ever done this before?” Ty sounded almost shy, which was surprising to hear.

“Yes. So have you.”

It wasn’t a question. The confidence of how Ty’s fingers slid over his body made it very clear.

“Does that bother you?” Ty asked, his eyebrows pulled up against each other like a child’s illustration of a roof.

Kit paused, he wanted to give an honest answer, not an impulsed one. The thought of Ty with someone else made the fine hairs on his lower back stand like pikes, he couldn’t deny that… but what did he expect? He couldn’t reproach Ty for living his life, it’s not like he hadn’t. Ty never left his heart, but he tried with all his might to banish him away. He kissed and laughed and danced and fucked, he did everything he could think of, but he always remembered. He never made love before, a differentiation that used to seem overly romanticized to him, but now felt like all the difference in the world. He desired others, but he never loved.

So Ty might have been with a dozen other men, and it wouldn’t matter. Because he was now touching his lips to Kit’s temple and the memory of his words rang clear in his heart. Ty loved him, and that’s all he needed to know.

“No.” He said simply, and the relief was clear on Ty’s face. “I don’t care, because you are with me.”

Ty smiled as he recalled his own words from before, and pulled Kit closer, every inch of their exposed skin touching. He slid his fingers along Kit’s thighs and purred like a satisfied cat to Kit’s reaction.

“Besides,” Kit added with a choked voice. “Practice makes perfect, and this -“ he put his hands on Ty’s, guiding him to his pelvis - “is exactly that”.

They giggled until they couldn’t any longer, their bodies allowing only sharp moans and sudden gasps. The intensity between them was building up into a tangible need. Kit wanted him, but he didn’t intend for it to be over so soon… so he propped up on his elbows and held Ty’s gaze, and like untying a ribbon, let his tongue run slowly down his length, embedding every precious moan to his memory.

For a second, he felt like he was watching them from a distance, hiding behind one of the shattered rocks. And they were beautiful together, like an unavoidable collision between the sun and the moon. The light that was first caged in him spread out and surrounded them like a halo. Ty’s skin was a silvery silk, melting under Kit’s golden sun-kissed hands. It was like that old poem, Kit thought, as he drifted back to his own body, and knew that he would have died a thousand times for this night.

When Ty started shaking under him, Kit disentangled himself from his hold and sat breathless, watching Ty’s back arch, as if looking for the missing warmth of Kit’s body. His eyes were half-closed, unfocused, searching for him in his peripheral until he realized that Kit was not there.

“Something’s wrong?” He sat on his knees with a noticeable effort, his naked body covered in a thin layer of sweat and dirt.

Kit shook his head, trying to figure out a way to explain what he wanted, what he needed. He could feel his cheeks flare red with embarrassment, and cursed his self-consciousness.

“So come back to me” Ty whispered, and when Kit stayed where he was, he closed the distance between them and took his chin in his hand, lifting it up so he could examine his expression.

Understanding bloomed in Ty’s eyes, and they darkened in a sudden explosion of hunger.

“More.” He said, and Kit thanked Ty’s lack of need for unnecessary words.

He nodded, relieved and wanting, and crushed their lips together, licking and sucking everywhere his mouth could reach.

Between breaths, Ty whispered to him, and Kit could hear the effort it took him to stop and say these words.

“But it will hurt you, afterward. I don’t want you to be in pain, ever.”

Kit smiled to himself and nipped Ty’s lower lip, biting it, hard. Ty groaned in response, and it felt like the greatest victory of Kit’s life.

“We’re Shadowhunters, there will always be some sort of pain.” He sat on top of Ty and tightened his grip on his shoulders.

“And don’t forget -“ he added. “We have Iratzes for that.”

Kit lowered himself atop him and Ty cried out his name, running his fingers on his scarred chest like a caged animal, breaking free. He was glorious, from the soft feathers of his wet hair, the sharp ridge of his collar bone to the dimples down his hips, like two fountains - twinkling as a mirage in the desert of Kit’s life.

They moved together, slowly, their lips fused to an everlasting kiss, and Kit could hear the distant memory of waves crashing over the Los Angeles Institute’s shore.

He always remembered Ty as someone delicate, breakable, the person he must protect no matter the cost. But as he felt him, thundering inside him like a storm, stronger than any force of nature he ever encountered, he knew that he was wrong. When the pleasure inside him took hold over every other coherent thought that he had left, only one remained - they could protect each other.

*

They lay in silence, bodies laced together like vines.

Kit’s eyes were closed, his golden lashes almost white, illuminated by the witchlight Ty gave him so long ago. Ty nudged his nose in the faint stubble on his cheeks and relished on the prickling texture of it.

“Christopher,” He murmured.

“Hmm?”

“Christopher Jonathan Herondale.”

Ty tasted the words, slowly, mouthing them like they were a secret he wasn’t sure he was willing to give away.

Kit lifted one eyebrow in question, his eyes drifted open and focused on Ty’s lips.

“I remember that poem you sent me, a couple of years ago.” Kit’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Where the crows had not yet woken

And the dimmed, elongated seconds

Between one breath and the other

I whisper to the impatient sun

Your name

Your full name

As an ancient lullaby

Sung by the gods”

A loud silence crawled between them. He didn’t know what to make of it and was suddenly very aware of how exposed he was in front of Kit.

“Did- did you memorize it?” Kit’s voice was calm, measured. It sent shivers down Ty’s back.

“Yes. I memorized all of them.”

Kit’s gasp was audible, and Ty had to turn and search his face for any sign of distress. Did it scare him?

“Why?”

“Because I needed to understand them. It was.. maddening.”

Ty searched his face, the cobalt blue of his gaze made him feel like they were outside, under the night’s sky. He was even more beautiful like this, he thought, with his hair rumpled and his shoulders uncovered, glittering from the remains of dust and sweat and magic. He was so beautiful Ty ached somewhere deep within him. He never felt this way, and it was more frightening than realizing the shape of his feelings for Kit.

“And did you? Understand them, I mean.”

Ty ran his fingers through Kit’s curls and tried to make sense of his thoughts.

“Not until recently, no… and not all of them. But- but this one, in particular, haunted me. I used to say your name, when I was alone, even without Livvy… just to understand what you meant. It only made me miss you more, it made me angry and frustrated and… and it made me so mad at you. For leaving, for sending these letters, like you were deliberately trying to hurt me by reminding me that I lost you.”

Kit lifted his hand, it hovered above Ty’s heart for an excruciating second, and then rested on it.

“And now, when I say it, when I say your name.. I can still taste you in my mouth. I can hear you singing in the car, I can smell the sun on your skin and feel your heartbeat right here, in the palm of my hand.”

He looked into the depths inside Kit’s eyes, they were so vividly real Ty got lost in the middle of the ocean until he realized they were tears.

“It’s like a prayer, your name.”

Kit pulled him into a sitting position, planting his hands so hard through Ty’s hair he probably felt every bone in his skull.

“It wasn’t a prayer, it was a promise, Tiberius.”