#kirythestichwitch

Tagged by @garglyswoof to list five things you typically find in my works.

1.) Dicks If you find any of my fics lacking in dicks, please lodge a formal complaint. I strive to provide the most dicks. If Shakespeare resurrected, I would want him to read my writing and be blown away by all the dicks.

2.) Bitchy Social Commentary A lot of things piss me off, and I use gay fanfiction to vent my ire. If you like dicks and social commentary, this is the place to be. 

3.) History Do you want to learn about medieval siege warfare? Weird medieval medical treatments? How about your gay porn being constantly interrupted by little details about daily medieval life? I have a massive boner for history, and I like to wave it around in people’s faces while they’re just trying to read some porn in peace.

4.) Landscape Descriptions I am a cheap whore for these, actually. I love nature writing, and I love inflicting it on readers.

5.) Bar Fights This is so I can vicariously live out my dreams of hitting someone over the head with a barstool without going to prison. I put on some Dropkick Murphys and just let my characters start headbutting people.

Tagging: @kirythestitchwitch @thetourguidebarbie @bellemorte180 Uhh...I am trying to think of people off the top of my head that have multiple fics, but I just clocked off work like twenty minutes ago and am a bit braindead. So if you want to do this, please do this.

A fair point.

kickassfu what if i want her to show up at my door to pervert murder me?? huh?? lol

Oh my fucking God; OBAMAGATE!!! HANG THE TRAITOR, ETC. ETC. Mostly so far people will not elaborate much on what exactly Obamagate is; I’m just seeing a lot of screeching about corruption in the Obama administration. The gist, according to what I can understand through all the bizarre screaming, is that he tried to rig the election against Trump and apparently wanted the FBI to spy on Trump after he became president. Or something like that. And I’m over here like, “Hmm, interesting that this happened years ago, some of you are claiming you knew it back then, but you’re only now making a bunch of noise about it because Trump is getting a lot of criticism for how he’s handled this pandemic.” I’m sure the timing of this ‘scandal’ is entirely coincidental.

I also like that Obama is being blamed for how Trump handled the pandemic. Obama was the most corrupt and incompetent president ever, but you needed him to hold your fucking hand during your own presidency, and because he didn’t leave you a pop-up book with bright colors explaining step by step how to handle this exact pandemic, it’s all his fault things got out of control in the U.S.? Which is it? Either he was completely incompetent, or you need him to hold your fucking dick while you pee.