#kickassfu

The woman leaning over the table was encroaching on Geralt’s space and was talking, and Geralt’s expression was tight, scanning around for a way to politely exit the conversation. Jaskier didn’t think, he just moved. He started up “Toss a Coin,” because it was a favourite and approached where Geralt was sitting, still uncomfortable with the woman who, with the song change, was getting closer. Jaskier could just pick up what she was saying:

“...Witcher, it’ll be fun. I know what you’re like with women. I saw you, at the whorehouse— we’re both lonely souls, wouldn’t it make for a-“ Jaskier slid to sit on the table as he went into the final chorus, the tavern practically shaking with the force of their song.

“Toss a coin to your Witcher! A friend of humanity!”

The woman looked up at Jaskier and he watched her expression change, confusion to annoyance to a pleasant but forced smile.

“The Witcher’s bard,” she said with a little dip of her head. “You’ve had an excellent set.” Jaskier beamed at her, then looked at Geralt. He looked less uncomfortable now that Jaskier was there, though still trapped.

“Hm,” Jaskier responded, trying to ask Geralt what he needed through his expression. “It has been quite a night, hasn’t it...” Get me out of here, out of this. “...love?” Jaskier looked to the woman again, who was still looking pleasant as ever. “It’s so wonderful to have a good crowd.” Jaskier stood from the table and nudged Geralt’s foot with his own, the Witcher pressing his lips into a thin line and sliding his knees apart. Jaskier stretched and settled himself into the newly created space.

“What on the Gods’ sweet Earth—“

“I think it’s about time for a little rest.” He slipped just arms around Geralt’s neck. “Don’t you?” Geralt wrapped his arm around Jaskier, and a brief touch on Geralt’s jaw had him bending down, their lips meeting sweetly. Geralt was all gratitude and thanks, making Jaskier’s toes curl in satisfaction. It didn’t seem to be enough, the woman was still there. Jaskier sighed internally, hoping he wouldn’t make his Witcher more uncomfortable with what he tried next. He pulled back a little and adjusted in Geralt’s lap until he was straddling the Witcher entirely, pressing their lips together in a new angle. He mocked desperation as he tugged at Geralt’s clothes, eventually resting his hands under Geralt’s chin and running his thumbs over Geralt’s cheeks. Geralt understood immediately, and opened his mouth just slightly, his tongue sliding into Jaskier’s mouth. Hands settled on his rear and squeezed, the air shifted— Jaskier made a noise that was entirely too genuine.

“May the gods save your souls,” the woman said, sounding a little disturbed. Jaskier didn’t hear her move while he continued, his hands going to Geralt’s hair and grasping at it. Geralt shuddered under him. Ripping himself away from the moment Jaskier turned to the woman, fully prepared to say some snarky line about the Witcher being taken. Jaskier wasn’t expecting to not see anything, but moreso, he wasn’t expecting the mouth that fastened itself to his neck.

“Geralt, she’s gone.” He kept biting and licking and sucking until the skin burned. “Geralt,” he said again. Still, he continued. It wasn’t that it hurt or anything, well, he supposed it did hurt a bit, but it no longer seemed like Geralt was putting on a show, it felt like this was just… Geralt doing what he wanted. “What the hell are you doing?” He stopped then, pulling back with a small, satisfied sound.

“Don’t think I can’t smell what you want.” He replied. Jaskier grinned at him and laughed, laughed at the man’s ridiculousness, although he was a little hysterical with arousal.

“Flirt, he said when Geralt squeezed him again. “Here I was, thinking I’d have to convince you to have sex with me through some long, complex series of flirtations, but a dramatic display in public has you unable to resist me.” Their lips met again, genuine and soft.

“If you want to continue this, we should move upstairs.” Geralt mumbled when they separated.

“Well, sorry to disappoint you, dear Witcher, but I have a set to finish. If you’re still interested when I’m done, I will happily take you up on that offer.” He said, rocking his hips very slowly just to show his enthusiasm. Geralt sighed and their eyes met, dark amber into gold.

           “We’re going to be caravanning?” Merlin’s voice broke through his concentration as he was going through the plan one more time. Slamming his laptop closed he looked up at Merlin who was standing just inside the living room looking down at him like he’d lost his marbles.

           “What are you doing here you aren’t supposed to be here till half past seven,” he hissed, his face flushing as Merlin sat down on the floor next to him and gently handed him his phone which had two missed calls and five unanswered texts. It was also telling him that it was ten to eight – oh.

           “You didn’t answer what you wanted to get for dinner and then Gwen sent me a text saying that she couldn’t ravage your sister with you in the flat,” Merlin said softly, his eyes looking at Arthur with that love and adoration that sometimes made Arthur feel stunted.

           “Right we should head off,” he said standing up stiffly and pulling his laptop bag over to his side shoving the offending instrument into the finished leather.

           “Arthur are you okay?” Merlin asked, they were halfway back to the flat that they shared close enough to the university and Merlin’s café job, that Arthur didn’t mind taking the extra underground line to his job in City Centre.

           “Huh, oh yea,” he said, squeezing Merlin’s hand in his and pulling him in for a chaste kiss. “Better now though.”

           “Right but you know me joking that you had to plan our first holiday wasn’t an effort for you to keep it a secret,” he said, cupping Arthur’s cheek with his free hand.

           “I know but I want it to be a surprise,” Arthur said, as they passed the Indian take-away place a block before the apartment. “We’re eating Indian for dinner.”

           Merlin laughed as his boyfriend changed the subject from what their holiday plans were to what their most pressing plans were, frankly if they had Indian take-away for dinner every night, Merlin thought Arthur would be happiest. Following him into the shop he smiled as Arthur ordered one of every appetizer before ordering Merlin’s Lamb Saagwala and his own Chicken Biryani both moderately spicy for two white boys from the countryside and wrapping the order up with an obscene number of naan.

           “You know I don’t get paid till Friday right,” Merlin whispered, into Arthur’s ear when Arthur had paid and walked over to stand next to where Merlin was sitting on a stool by the window.

           “I know it’s my treat,” Arthur said, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist pressing a kiss to his cheek and hiding his face against Merlin’s neck.

           “Are you sure you’re alright?” Merlin asked, rubbing his hands across Arthur’s back.

           “I’m fine just want you to have the best holiday ever,” Arthur whispered, placing a kiss to Merlin’s pulse point.

           “Okay, but we could hide in the flat and not go anywhere for a week and it would be the best vacation ever,” Merlin said, leaning into Arthur’s rare showing of public affection.

           “Right, but you’ve never gone on a holiday outside the country, and I want your first one to be with me,” Arthur said, squeezing Merlin tighter in his arms.

           “Alright, but can you at least tell me if we’re doing a roadtrip or a resort,” Merlin teased, running his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair it was growing longer than he normally let it get. Merlin was selfishly happy that Arthur had let his hair grow out slightly.

           “Fine you twat, we’re gonna roadtrip for a week,” Arthur relented, pulling back to look at Merlin eyes searching for any sign of disappointment or reluctance to the plan. All he saw was admiration and love.

           “Sounds amazing, I’m not sure I could have handled a posh resort where you and your cronies hang around when not at Parliament to talk about defrauding the everyday people of more social services,” Merlin said, completely straight faced while Arthur winced and pulled away.

           “I can not believe that you just tried to tie me to my late father’s political party,” Arthur gasped, hand on chest.

           “I know you’re the good party who only does marginally better for the people,” Merlin said, pulling Arthur back into his arms grinning like a loon.

           “You are a twat,” Arthur said, trying not to give into Merlin’s teasing.

           “Well it’s better than being a Clotpole,” Merlin said, kissing Arthur’s cheek before pushing him back towards the counter as they called out his name.

           Arthur laughed as he walked back to his boyfriend who had unfolded himself from the stool to stand by the door. Waving to the employees and wishing them a good night Arthur and Merlin walked out into the night towards home.

              Finished, it was done and he didn’t need to be back in the Politics and International Relation Hall until the first week of July to defend his thesis to the faculty panel. Rolling over he frowned, it was Saturday and Arthur didn’t work on Saturdays. So why was he missing from their bed? Merlin got up grabbing one of Arthur’s rugby shirts from the top of the wardrobe and walked out of the bedroom to find Arthur sitting at his laptop frowning in the kitchen.

           “Who died?” he asked, walking closer to rub Arthurs shoulders.

           “Huh – oh we got upgraded,” Arthur said, reaching up to tangle his fingers with Merlin’s against his left shoulder.

           “Why does that have you looking like you just got a call about someone dying,” Merlin pressed, his thumb rubbing against Arthur’s hand.

           “It’s just uh bigger than I was expecting,” he said, showing Merlin the large caravan.

           “That’s like a proper lorry,” Merlin commented looking at the specs before looking at Arthur.

           “Well can we go back to the original mini camper?” Merlin asked, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

           “Yea, but it won’t be ready till tomorrow,” Arthur said, sighing as he turned and buried his face in Merlin’s middle wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

           “Okay so we leave on the train first thing in the morning tomorrow for Calais,” Merlin reasoned out, rubbing circles on Arthur’s shoulders.

           “You don’t mind not starting your freedom from the city right away?” Arthur repeated after Merlin nudged him for mumbling into his torso.

           “Nope, because I think that we can find plenty to distract us right here,” Merlin said, raising his eyebrow and nodding back towards the bedroom he’d just left. “I’m not sure I feel properly loved.”

           Arthur barked out a laugh before standing up his hands gripping Merlin’s thin hips as he hoisted him up into his arms as Merlin laughed. While roughly the same height Merlin was definitely an inch taller, but he lacked the muscular physique of years of rugby and footie that Arthur had, and loved it when Arthur picked him up in his arms.

             “I can’t believe we’re going on a roadtrip across the north coast of France and you didn’t even plan one battleground or museum visit,” Merlin teased, he sat in the seat his legs across Arthur’s lap since it wasn’t a manual vehicle.

           “You just spent the last two months writing a thesis on the battles of the Normandy conquest. I made the executive decision that this would be nature parks, cafes, beach walks, and ocean spray not academics.” Arthur snapped, huffing as he passed a lorry on the left.

           “I love it, and appreciate that you put so much effort into this trip for me,” Merlin said, pulling his feet out of Arthur’s lap to lean over and kiss his cheek.

           “Uh huh, how long is my plan going to last?” Arthur asked, eyebrows raised shaking his head.

           “Probably till the first time we stop and I see a sign for a stuffy local museum,” Merlin admitted laughing when Arthur groaned.

           “Next time we go to a nice resort that has nude beaches and no museums near it,” Arthur grumbled, turning up the music playing through the sound system.

           “Fine I’ll stop teasing you with my obsession with wasting days away in stuffy museums,” Merlin said, carding his fingers through Arthur’s hair.

           “Twat.”

           “Dollop head.”

           “Are you ever going to tell me what that means?”

           “Nope.”

           Soon they devolved into Arthur driving and Merlin fiddling with the playlist on his phone until he found one he wanted, and leaned against the seat arm to kiss Arthur quickly before pulling away. Arthur laughed as Merlin folded his long limbs into a pretzel sit and leaned his head against the window eyes dropping already. Merlin always fell asleep if he wasn’t the one driving.

           Arthur smiled and relaxed as he followed the GPS directions to Camping des Dunes, a beach campground. It was rustic and relaxing.

           Pulling in he followed the directions to the beach front parking. It was crowded but not the levels that Gwaine and Percival had warned him about. Parking and pulling up the emergency brake he pressed a kiss to Merlin’s temple and turned his seat around to set up the bedding and open the back door so that they could sleep to the sounds of the ocean behind them. Once he’d done that he grabbed the small grill and bag of charcoal so that they could cook up the chicken kababs that they’d made up yesterday afternoon.

           “Are we there?” Merlin asked, turning to look out the side door at Arthur who was stoking the coals to get them hot. Rubbing his eyes, he looked around and smiled at Arthur who grinned back.

           “Go take a look around, I’m just heating up the coals and then I’ll find you okay?” Arthur asked, rubbing the small little box in his jean pocket.

           “I’m going to see what the amenities are like and then the beach I’ll be back in like ten minutes,” Merlin said, pulling Arthur close for a quick kiss which turned into a longer moment than he planned. “I can’t leave here if you don’t let me go.”

           “I don’t want to let you go,” Arthur mumbled, tightening his grip around Merlin’s middle before releasing him.

           “I’ll be back soon,” Merlin said, walking off to explore.

             Once the coals were adequately hot, he covered the grill and started off to look for Merlin. As Arthur walked over to the beach which was just around the hedge he’d parked next too. Walking on the sand his sandals in his hand. Looking for his boyfriend, he admired the sun glinting off the waves and the sand. Merlin was sitting on the top of the dune staring out at the waves.

           “Hey Emrys, you get lost in your head,” he asked, sitting next to his partner.

           “Sorry I was sitting in the sun and it felt so good. Can we have dinner after the sun sets?” Merlin said, leaning against Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur shifted so that his chest was against Merlin’s back. Arthur chuckled and settled back into the dune, pulling Merlin into his arms holding him tight.

           “It’s beautiful here,” Merlin murmured, trailing his fingers up and down Arthur’s legs as he relaxed into Arthur’s hold.

           “I’m glad you find it so beautiful,” Arthur said, shifting so that he could rest his chin on Merlin’s shoulder. “I have a question for you dearheart.”

           “What’s going on darling,” Merlin asked, shifting so he could look at Arthur. Pulling away and looking at his boyfriend Merlin searched his face for a hint at what was on Arthur’s mind.

           “So we’ve been dating for the last three years and living together for two, and you’ve been with me for some of the hardest moments in my life,” Arthur started taking a deep breath and reaching out to hold Merlin’s hand in his. “You helped me come out to my Father, you helped me reconcile my grief with my anger after he died. When I think about the future and where I want to be in it, Merlin you’re right by my side. I don’t – no I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

           Merlin took the pause that Arthur inadvertently took a breath to hold up his hand. “I need you to hold that thought because if you’re doing what I think you’re doing I need to grab something from my pack.”

           Arthur was sitting in the sand watching the love of his life run across the beach back to their caravan and then running back only tripping twice, thankfully not biting it and falling. When Merlin fell to his feet in front of him Arthur eyed the small green box in his hands before Arthur pulled out a small black box from his jeans. They looked at each other and promptly devolved into laughs holding onto each other.

           “Can I finish please?” Arthur asked, looking at Merlin eyes wide as he cupped his cheeks, rubbing his thumb across the stubble.

           “By all means you aristocratic poof,” Merlin teased, sneaking a kiss before pulling away to hold Arthur’s hands in his.

           “As I was saying – I was wondering if you’d do me the honor of making me the happiest lord in England and man on earth by marrying me?” Arthur asked, opening the box in his left hand to reveal a dark band with flecks of blues, golds, reds in the center of the band shifting in the sunlight.

           “I first would like to point out that I was hoping to ask you while you stargazed tonight, but I – I don’t want to wait. I’ll marry you if you’ll marry me?” Merlin said, grinning looking at his boyfriend as he opened the green box in his hand revealing an elegant and smooth gold band with a gentle engraving on the inside in sloping interconnected lines.

           “Nothing would make me happier,” Arthur said, taking Merlin’s left hand in his right while Merlin took Arthur’s left hand in his. Once they interchanged the rings, Arthur pulled Merlin into a gentle kiss. Resting his forehead against Merlin’s, Arthur smiled and stood up slowly.

           “We gotta go cook dinner, otherwise we won’t have any coals left to use,” Arthur said, taking Merlin back to the caravan. This road trip was going to be more amazing than they’d originally thought.