#kinvalidation

having another What If I Was Just Tricking Myself Into What I Wanted To Believe moment but curiously only about one of my kintypes this time. and it's not even the one from the media I've loved since I was 3 years old. no, it's about the one that I've had/known about for 5 years for some reason. I just don't feel the same connection to my elf kintype, at least not as I specifically described it, anymore. it all feels like wishful thinking all of a sudden. what I know about this 'type may well just be stuff my subconscious imagination filled in. I remember in the beginning of figuring out the details I just kinda went with whatever felt right or "made sense," which I'm sure is tainted by bias. then again, I also remember that I hoped I'd had yellow eyes (wrong kintype but I'd only find out about that one later lmao), only to somehow realize I'd had grey eyes instead. idk. shit's nebulous. this is wack just a couple weeks ago I was reading about ghillie dhu and thinking "oh yeah that's pretty similar to me/my kintype" and now I kinda feel like I'm just going through the motions