#kingofwakanda

I was having  a personally difficult week this week. My sleeping patterns were off, I barely got any work done the first half of the week, and I was a bit moody. So, I decided to binge-watch NARCOS (yes I’m late) Friday night into the wee hours of Saturday morning (its 4:30am EST as I type), I rose to the news of the passing of a real-life superhero, King T’Challa of Wakanda, Chadwick Boseman. 

Now, let’s put things in perspective, there has and continues to be much that has transpired in 2020 that has rocked our world, the nation, and the Black culture specifically.  We, as a people are generally strong, resilient, loving, and have the immeasurable ability to bounce back after tragedy. But truth is, even your strong friends get weak at times. And we, the Black community have found strength within the solidarity of lose and pain, even in our weakest moments. We lost one superhero this year in that of the Black Mamba, the one and only Kobe Bryant. And as photos flooded my timeline of Chadwick, the visual of Kobe and Chadwick together added a layer of despair to yet another lose. 

It is reported that Chadwick was diagnosed with colon cancer four years ago.  We watched him during that time not only star in some of the Culture’s and America’s most iconic movies, in ‘real-life’ we watched as his weight decreased, yet his spirits and smile remained. Perhaps he was losing weight for an upcoming role? Perhaps he decided to go vegan? Perhaps he decided to cut all carbs and change his eating regimen? Or, perhaps none of that....

Perhaps, he decided to gracefully press through a terminal illness that he knew he would one day succumb to. Perhaps, Chadwick decided that he would not complain about his illness, but rather use every minute of every day wisely while he had the chance.  Perhaps, Chadwick decided that he would not impose his pain on that of his fans, followers, and those - like myself - who considered him a REAL-LIFE superhero.

You see, for many, particularly those outside of the Black culture Wakanda and the role of King T’Challa was just a part to play. But, for us, the Black culture, our people, and on behalf of generations that were and generations to come, T’Challa was REAL. T’Challa was really hope...really a king...really royalty …really our HERO. And, what makes T’Challa that much more real and that much more of a hero is that the man who embodied him, lived life as such...as a hero! Chadwick Boseman embodied the spirit of a hero on and off the screen. His work on the screen spoke to the intrinsic value that he held within. He gave us a reflection of the lives of those he resurrected through impersonation. The greats, like himself, lived again on screen if only for a couple of hours in the form of James Brown, Jackie Robinson and Thurgood Marshall. Chadwick helped us see the impact and necessity of the lives of those that are no longer here and the principles that are imperative to live a life of integrity while overcoming adversity. Chadwick lived it on and off the screen. So, as some may view T’Challa as but a character of a fictions super world, he was indeed so much more. T’Challa was not a figment of our imagination, but rather only alive because Chadwick breathed into the essence of T’Challa making what was once a fairytale, now a greeting in our culture *insert Wakanda forever salute*. 

Through Chadwick, T’Challa gave me hope in a moment’s notice. I instantly “came out of myself” as the headlines and timelines flood with news of Chadwick’s passing. Suddenly, my emotions didn’t weigh as much as they did in the beginning of the week. In that moment, the prayers, petitions, decrees, and declarations I made all week in order to bypass this temporary moment of emotionalism, came to a head and here I am (now 4:59am EST) grasping the importance of the moment, expressing sentiments and realities that can only be recognized with intent. It’s not my normal posting day (Tuesdays), but it is a ‘day’ and what better time or better day, than today.

We can only imagine the plethora of emotions Chadwick experienced to get himself through those days - even when he wasn’t on set. Can you fathom the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical strength it takes for someone to deal with terminal illness on a day-to-day, let alone while in the eye of the public? A public that can be scrutinizing, judgmental, and indecisive of their support should you do or look like something they are not pleased with? Although my personal storm of emotion was very much real, and very real to me I knew there would only be a few days that I had before it was time to get back into the swing of things. At first, I was hurt and embarrassed, then I was angry, and finally exhausted. These emotions I’m certain Chadwick felt day in and day out, yet what I saw in him, and experienced on screen was a measure of strength, determination, and tenacity that cannot be substituted. 

Dear Chadwick:  in an instant, your absence reminded me of the need to be present. Your heroic, superhuman strength jolted me out of a sobering moment, into a celebratory posture of peace beyond my understanding. Many are torn...exhausted...feeling abused and neglected as your passing does not come at a time of peace, but a time where sorrow and turmoil seem to be the norm. But we fight against the idea that living life timidly and with restriction has become the new norm, no matter what the adversary has planned; for we know that purpose - a topic you spoke often about -  is given from above. Your entire life was worth living. My hope is that within these last four years, you were given a glimpse of your post-mortem impact - the children shedding tears, the adults mourning, communities at a loss for words, our culture crying. Every breath you took was with intent - we can see it now. And, my prayer is that I, too, live life while I’m alive with the utmost intent, unexplainable happiness, and fearless risks that boldly proclaim the noble superhero that I was born to be. Until we meet again.....WAKANDA FOREVER! REST WELL KING!!

Written by: Tashyra Ayers, Voiceover Artist | Media Personality | Speaker