#killyspeaks

"Hey," she called. And his traitorous eyes flicked back to meet her gaze.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No." It was a bald-faced lie, and he knew it.

"You are, though! I can tell. Why?"

"It's just... Your eyes are striking, intense—Direct eye contact is, I mean."

She smiled, though he couldn't fathom why. "I like that. Hey, you know what else is intense?"

His own eyes, maybe? But he simply wasn't bold enough to ask. "No, what's that?"

Genuinely, no lies detected.

This was actually my first time making a humanoid in any 3d art form (I'm not opposed to people! But they're so hard to get just right, and my usual mediums just come out kind of oddly fuzzy to be making mostly hairless people.) And since I was trying out this pattern ANYWAY, I also decided I'd try felting onto a crocheted object, just to see if it works. It totally does, btw. I could have definitely felted the hair dense enough to stand up and maintain shape on its own.... but I didn't want to use up all my black felting wool, so I faked it with some hairspray.

His face..... sure is something, but it makes me laugh (win!) and I had a lot of fun making it (win!) so who cares. I don't know what color eyes Wilson should actually have, other than beady-black, but these dark blue buttons were the only ones I had close to the right size.

My least favorite part of making him was definitely the vest, and I think it shows. I just used a thin sheet of dark red felt with lines drawn on in sharpie and sewed it together under his arm. I do dabble in occasional hand sewing small objects, but I'm kinda bad at it. Luckily, sewing amigurumi pieces together is much easier!

...

And if you're wondering.... he's posed under my plants' growlight because that's the brightest light in my house, hahaha. I can live in a dark dungeon, who cares... but my plant children deserve the best! 🤓🪴🪴 If you're wondering something else, feel free to ask questions, lol

The base was made following this youtube video btw:

Hmmmm. "Haunted" is kind of a heavy word, generally suggesting something negative, but not necessarily, sort of related to grief, perhaps. I guess I'd consider a piece of writing to haunt me if it sticks in the back of my mind, if I really have to mull it over, if it changes my perspective (at least for a moment, maybe forever)

Now, the Problem with Me is that I have a very poor memory. It's very hard to pull memories up without something related reminding me of them first. So, I'm certain writing has haunted me before, probably even very recently. But unless something triggers me to remember, I can't just pull it out of thin air. Unfortunate. HOWEVER I won't end the answer on that sour note.

The closest thing I can think of rn is this unfinished fanfic I read featuring a fox as the personification (animalification??) of the northern lights. That's not really what the fanfic is About, (you know how writing is) but it was such an interesting read I felt compelled to make a little fox fanart of it to... idk, commemorate it and remember it. I haven't yet, but soon! Hilariously, a plot point in that fanfic is about memories and the loss of them, and maybe that's why it struck me so hard.

Also? Those lists that people reblog and pass around of hard hitting lines/accidental poetry from unexpected sources? I love that. I love people finding striking writing and beauty wherever they may.

You know what else is haunting and related to writing? When people go looking for fanfics they loved before, only to find them deleted. I can't remember this happening to me yet, but I think that would haunt me. The unanswered questions, etc, you know?

OH! I have an incomplete list of song lyrics that I enjoy/like thinking about/etc but that gets into my music taste, which is embarrassing and idk if anyone would want to see that lol

Aaaand I might be forgetting some poetry, I'll have to reread some 🤔 Off the top of my head "Simile" by N. Scott Momaday really got me in college. Its not the like, deepest craziest mind bendingest poem ever, but the words "latent flight" just really hit me, okay. The existing but concealed. The inevitable, the moment before the inevitable, the attempt to avoid the inevitable, etc, etc.

The Depression is severe and ive been sleeping 12+ hours a day lol ain't winter a bitch

I'm gonna see my doctor next month about it and ask for help finding therapy so don't worry im gonna be as fine as ever it is just taking time and in the meantime I am sooo sleepy. And then after 12 hours being unconscious I wake up dehydrated with a headache which I feel is a personal attack on me (jk)