#killugon ask

worse sights than this by Quintessence ( T | 2,049 | 1/1 )

Be strong, saith my heart; I am a soldier; / I have seen worse sights than this.

“It had to be fair, you know? I knew that from the moment I saw Kite’s body, torn apart and sewn back together over and over again. I had to do some sort of penance for that. I had to make up for what I’d done. I had to. I needed pain. A lot of it. Maybe enough…”

Gon takes a deep breath.

“Maybe enough that I wouldn’t make it out in one piece.”

In which things long unspoken finally come to light.

[Suicidal Thoughts]

whatever a moon has always meant by Quintessence ( T | 2,871 | 1/1 )

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Killua says, firm but gentle.  “You’re not slowing down.  If you let yourself rest properly, you’ll actually be more efficient.  I think you should take the rest of the day off, get as much sleep as you want tonight, and pick things back up tomorrow.”

All at once, tears gather in Gon’s eyes, and he begins to tremble, so violently that Killua can see it from across the kitchen.

“What right do I have to that?” Gon all but shouts, his voice breaking.  “People are being hurt and I’m one of the few people who can actually do something about it, so what right do I have to relax?  The people who are in trouble aren’t getting to relax!  Not even for a moment!  Why should I get that luxury?”

In which Gon tries to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, and stumbles under the load.

these things don't just fade away by burbs ( T | 5,246 | 1/1 )

Gon, if possible, becomes more reckless.

[Self-Harm | Suicidal Thoughts]

the one that you want by poeticlump ( T | 3,110 | 1/1 )

“I-I just . . .”

“You just what, Gon.” His soft white hair was disheveled, sneakers coated in fresh city grime, and he looked like he wanted to scream—in a way that only Gon could recognize. His stance was composed, cold, calculated; with Killua it was all in his eyes.

But for one of the record first times in his life, Gon had no words. For the first time, he didn’t want to be honest. He didn’t want to be straightforward. He was sick of telling everyone in the world exactly what he felt and wanted. Some things, some things were sacred. Some things Killua wouldn’t understand.

He wouldn’t understand that Gon wanted him to himself.

[OR Gon reunites with his best friend only to experience a night of blinding, all-consuming jealousy.]

It’s Alright by orphan_account ( T | 2,527 | 1/1 )

Gon keeps smiling, assuring Killua that he's alright despite the evidence contrary. Killua has to find a way to help him before it's too late.

Lilacs by DecemberCamie ( G | 1,217 | 1/1 )

If Gon got the Hanahaki Disease...

((Hanahaki Disease - an illness in which unrequited love causes the patient to coughs up flower petals, eventually leading to suffocation))

less than half myself by lxonardo ( T | 6,020 | 1/1 )

"You know you don’t have to figure this out alone, right? We can do it together, so pl—”

“But I really don’t know. I don’t want to burden you—” Gon trembled, grabbing the slide door to keep himself steady. He shut his eyes tightly, suddenly his eyes growing heavy with tears building up. “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this all of a sudden.”

Within a split second, Killua rushed to his side, gentle arms embracing him in a hug. Gon was shaking, and he circled his arms back around his waist, resting his temple on his shoulder. His gut was telling him to get away and you’ll be hurt again, and it was growing louder. But Gon chose to ignore it, because he was safe and Killua wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. Killua was, if anything, a safe haven to him; it made no sense that he would subconsciously fear him, especially when he’s been with him for so long.

[Deleted] Solivagant by peachiinari ( M | 65,406 | 1/1 )

Killua has lost count of the years.

He doesn’t know what day it is, or the year he’s in, or how many times his birthday has passed. He stopped counting—because it was just a bitter reminder of the world that is now long gone.

Instead, he fights for every passing day to stay alive. Buildings have crumbled, plants have overturned concrete, fond memories have faded. He holds Nanika close, knowing anyone who sees her will try to kill her for what she is.

The years pass in a blur—a monotonous repetition of “fighting for your life”.

Until one Gon Freecss stumbles upon him, and offers refuge.

Until one Gon Freecss is kind, and loving, and the reason he starts counting the years again.

((or: It's the apocalypse. It's been eight years and Killua has given up on everything, until meeting Gon changes that.))

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

Zombies, Among Other Things by DecemberCamie ( G | 18,578 | 12/12 )

Killua blinks slowly up at Gon. Then his eyes flicker to Gon’s left and widen. He gasps, “Gon, behind you-!”

Gon whirls around and comes face to face with a zombie. Its mouth gapes open in a hideous howl. Gon cries out in surprise and instinctively punches the thing in its ugly, half rotted face.

In other words: Gon follows his best friend across a zombie infested town to find said best friend's sister in his family's mansion while falling from high places, fending off zombies with some badass weapons, getting almost blown up and fighting same best friend's older, manipulative sibling all to make it back to the airport without getting infected and (eventually) reunite with his mom/cousin/aunt. Yeah. This is gonna be a piece of cake.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Emotional/Psychological Abuse]

[Deleted] In This Eternal Reverie by DriftingGlass ( M | 32,121 | 4/10 )

The world has ended.

The wealthy and privileged are stationed in underground Sanctuaries, helmed by a series of overseers under the control and ownership of what's left of the Zoldyck family.

Killua has always loathed his place as a survivor under his older brother's control.

He longs for something different in a world lost to radiation, dangerous monsters and internal corruption at every turn.

He never expected his life to take a swandive upon meeting Gon Freecss, a sharpshooting adrenaline junkie with a soul far darker than the amber gold of his eyes. He has secrets, and Killua wants to know them all.

And perhaps, Killua will discover that he's never learned to live (or love) quite like this.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Implied/Referenced Child Abuse]

[Gabs Note: this has become a deleted work, however the author gave everyone a chance to download it prior to deletion. If you missed the message/deadline, you can reach out in my DMs.]

[Discontinued] Alive by Maddylovesyou ( M | 18,000+ | 4/? )

In a world filled with dead, there’s a man filled with life. That life has become his as well.