kieran speaks spanish. he learned it in mexico while serving with the us army. for obvious reasons, he lives in mortal terror of javier finding this out
he was really good at hiding it until one day javier mutters the 1899 equivalent of 'i wanna suck his dick so hard his stomach caves in like a caprisun' to himself while staring at john. kieran laughs almost too hard and after wiping the tears from his eyes realises javier is staring at him with that infamous look that could make grown men piss themselves.
fight or flight response didn't kick in in time. he stands frozen as javier walked over and asked very calmly if he spoke spanish
kieran is too terrified to deny it. explains where and how he learned it, expecting death
javier thinks. obviously, he does want to kill him, but also is so starved for conversation. makes some comment about he should've done him the favor of killing him before he ended up with the o'driscolls (Kieran agrees). quietly asks what he thought of mexico
kieran, confused, says it's a beautiful country. they talk about food and buildings and the general landscape and both visibly relax while everyone just stares in confusion as they gossip in spanish.
it becomes a thing when javier doesn't feel like dealing with english, is homesick or wants to bitch about the gang, he'll go talk to the o'driscoll. and he's very transparent about it. he'll point at somebody in the gang, say something in spanish, and kieran is very obviously trying not to laugh or a sinister smile appears on his face as he makes a comment in agreement.
javier galloping boaz through camp because he found someone in saint denis selling tamales and bought loads. kieran has a white boy spice tolerance but insists they’re real good despite choking
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in the game, Javier seems pretty touch aversive; he shoves Sean's hands away when he's touching him, moves away from Hosea, touches people as little as he can in general...ofc this is how i read the character, but i was wondering how that would affect his relationship with Kieran?
also Javier being an enabler of bad traits, like when Dutch or John do bad shit and he's just kinda okay with it, like he doesn't judge them yk...whats Kierans thoughts....
im VERY curious!! also aaaa i love your javieran/kiervier stuff it makes my days
okay so thank you on sending me on a one hour deep dive of javier in cut scenes. i love him and i need to give him more love
javier is very conscious about space, and it's very guarded. touch even more so. people he trusts? he's happy to stand closer than most people would be comfortable. talking to john about his scar? when bill is singing his praises? he walks inches from them, closer than most people would be comfortable being to another person.
he's the first to grab arthur when arthur turns up in guarma. he hands arthur's gun directly to him when they go to rescue john. he doesn't shy away when arthur puts a hand on his shoulder after they rescue sean. he's the same way with john, inches from one another when they're drinking, initiating cheers - and then the second chapter six starts, the distance he keeps between himself and supposed rats grows further. meanwhile, bill goes from someone he only ever touched to threaten him at knifepoint to someone he is turning towards to talk to.
touch is safety for javier. touch is how he communicates he trusts someone. it's also how he defends himself. shoving, threatening people, throwing cigarettes at o'driscoll stableboys ect. he lives at extremes of either positive or negative touch. he doesn't like touching people because it's too vulnerable for him. and all that subtlety, all that trauma that lead to him being so guarded, is only exacerbated by gap between and events of rdr1. he walks towards john, because closeness is safety, how he communicates safety, only to throw a crate at him. he demands control of space
even in timewarp, he's no longer the life of the party. he stays on the outskirts, in the shadows, not wanting to get close to any of these people he used to trust. because fool me once, shame on you -- he might be dependent on these people for survival, and he's overjoyed to be back with them, for his own chance at redemption and forgiveness and to find something resembling himself (his rdr2 self) again - but he can't trust them
then comes mr sergeant dumbass duffy, who grabs his hand to cross the road. with no understanding of personal space, who also keeps to the outskirts because he can't exactly trust most of the gang either and was already an outsider and is dealing with a different brand of overstimulation but still understands that distance, and space, is safe
by nature of timewarp, they had to get okay with a lot of things really fast. kieran was the only one literally available to be javier's 'timewarp buddy', to teach him about modern era as best he could and help him settle in. but kieran is kieran. so javier was forced to hang around kieran. the second they stepped outside of bessie's house after that first chaotic week or two of 'settling', kieran was the only thing he could recognize. he went from 1911 mexico to 2011 blackwater.
that meant trailing kieran like a lost puppy, even if it was arms crossed and walking several yards behind him and not being thrilled with the situation. and kieran did not bat an eyelid because phew spared the torture of small talk.
but kieran grabbing javier's hand to cross a street (because kieran does that with anyone, but also javier's first time crossing a road don't want him hit by a car) was a big, big deal. because javier is touch-starved. and he interprets people reaching for his hand or touching him as them trusting him as much as he is conscious of the fact he only touches people he trusts
for kieran? typical thursday. for javier? actually about to buckle at the knees because how long has it been since touch was pleasant, was gentle, and intended to keep him safe instead of someone trying to kill him. it was crippling, and overwhelming - and they crossed the street, and kieran let go and kept walking before javier could even process the instinct to pull away
it was as momentous as it was unremarkable. someone held his hand for a bit, and then let go, and then kieran waited for him to catch up because he didn't want javier getting lost. it just became a thing. 'kieran holds my hand when we cross roads'.
after their excursion, they're walking side by side, no talking, just focused on getting home. when javier says 'thanks duffy' and retreats back to his room, he walks so close to kieran that the latter's coat flits with the movement.
javier already thought of kieran as harmless, and walking through blackwater demanded a level of vulnerability that he wouldn't have been able to deal with if he wasn't walking with someone he perceived as harmless, but a simple, near-silent walk very quickly shifted kieran from someone harmless to someone who is safe. someone who can come within the very, very wide personal bubble javier kept around himself.
the issue is kieran is v contact sensory seeking, but similarly to javier he needs a very high level of trust before he gets to that point. yes, he will prod and poke arthur for the sake of poking arthur because arthur is basically just a squishmallow to him and it's funny. once they get into a relationship, they bizarrely compliment each other
standing uncomfortably close to javier (which is comfortably close for them both) is just as satisfying. if he is getting a 'don't touch me i'm not in the mood' vibe from javier, he won't. if he can get away with just standing arm to arm with javier, he is more than satisfied. on the rare days when javier initiates touch, kieran lights up like the 4th of july. but they both find comfort in closeness, and that's more than enough because there are very few people who would happily stand an inch apart like they were meant to be one another's shadow
he gets that touch is a big deal. kieran's touch issues are based in sensory imput, javier's in trauma, but christ if One Person knows how awful overstimulation is to deal with, it's kieran duffy. he had his weight blankets and toys and fidgets for when he wants to touch something, and arthur to poke, and hosea when he just wants the comfort of another person without sending javier into a touch-overstimulated meltdown. and he respects that!! touch is a big deal and kieran gets it!!
- deep breath- to the second point: javier does not forgive dutch. he was abandoned after 1899, he felt the fallout of being associated with dutch, he saw dutch go on to ruin the lives of every single person in the gang either directly or indirectly. he is one of the gang who does not forgive dutch for his bullshit and kieran is v supportive of it. kieran, john and javier at the we hate dutch party
ironically, in saying that, kieran will, in whatever language is necessary, absolutely tear javier apart for forgiving john at all. the second john is mentioned kieran is the angry, opinionated moral backbone of the relationship. john cannot talk to javier or stand within 4 yards of javier without feeling the angry o'driscoll stare boring into the back of his skull.
mooostly because while javier grew enough to be able to stop justifying dutch's actions to himself, and is rightfully weary of a lot of the gang and is still rebuilding himself in a lot of ways: kieran KNOWS javier forgiving john is just because of how lowly javier thinks of himself. if john's behavior and actions were directed to anyone else javier would have an issue with it. kieran has pointed the above out, and javier acknowleges and agrees with it, but still forgives john for a lot so kieran is left burning with the rage of ten suns towards john and john fucking knows it. tbf john feels bad too and is trying to do better. kieran will make that very, very difficult, because he will protect his boyfriend, whether it be with his dying breath or a two-by-four
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This leaves The Morgans, The Duffys (Sorry Kieran it's you), and The Jones's... at least to my memory.
So in my lust for angst... who dies first, and how tragic was it?
Okay timewarp endgame let's go
Bessie and Hosea die together, so who died first is unknown. Bessie was sick first* and the one the gang most expected to die. Hosea's heart just went 'fuck not losing my wife again'.
Generally, the first shall be the last. Most of the 1911 gang actually die before the 1899 gang (minus tragedies and age related illness) simply because living rough as outlaws do for an extra 9-15 years in canon era was a physical strain they never really recovered from.
Charles dies before Arthur - he went 9 years mourning Arthur before timewarping, and I'm not putting him through that again. Only in his early 70s, Arthur noticed the tiny change of Charles sleeping more than usual and insisted he go see a doctor. Metastatic lung cancer: with only two or three weeks left to live. Instead of suffering through treatment for at most an extra 6 months, Charles decided just enjoy what time he had left - helping Arthur plan for how he would cope without him, seeing family and saying goodbyes, going to the few sights they hadn't seen and some of their favorite places for the last time. 3 weeks after the diagnosis, and only the second time he actually complained about pain, Charles simply took a nap and never woke up.
Similarly, in the once-Matthews-now-Duffscuella household, Javier dies first. Javier did not age well, and got a lot of age-related illnesses younger than most people. Arthritis in his 40s, heart disease in his 50s. Still, his death was very abrupt (only a year or so after Charles, so early 70s again). He was sitting on the couch, watching TV with Kieran. Sat his cigarette down on the edge of the ash tray, said he didn't feel like it, and laughed when Kieran asked if he could have it. But then - didn't pass it to him. Massive, sudden cardiac arrest. No response to attempted resuscitation: so quick it was painless. Didn't mean Kieran was any less distraught.
Kieran ends up living with Arthur because, as well as his self-neglecting brand of autism, Kieran was diagnosed with early stage dementia shortly before Javier died. As it progressed, Kieran's confusion manifested as basically thinking it was canon era. He'd huff he had to take care of the horses, or have moments where he still thought he was an O'Driscoll and start stealing things (from himself) because if he went back to the gang empty handed 'Colm'll have my head'. Arthur was always the best at calming him down, second to Javier, and generally knew how to keep Kieran happy in terms of things he would eat and what situations would be too overstimulating for him. Also, Arthur actually had horses so Kieran could look after them in his stableboy moments and be content. Kieran also passed away before Arthur.
just thinking about Javier having a sister, which to me translates into him being able to do basic hairstyles!
i hc he loved those few simple moments he got to braid his sister's hair while shit was going crazy in Mexico, no worries just mm hair
(he now does it to Kieran when he can, and it feels very bittersweet to him) (like...nostalgic? you get me)
for Kieran it's like...one of the few things he got to do with his mammy before she passed. she taught him how to braid her hair methinks </3
nudity below (no dicks tho it's blocked out, just them showering)
