You were expecting a random post but it was IT, THE THIRD PRIZE OF THE CONTEST!! Yeah Iām, UH, like reeeeaally late and Iām super super sorry for this Ƨ.Ƨ This work had been studded with a series of unfortunate events, like firstly I lost the first draft I handwrote and I still donāt know where the hell it is -bet it will pop up tomorrow. Bet it.- I cried for two days and then stared at the ceiling for more than two weeks, then various things irl BUT! I finally managed to write something that satisfies me -and you know that I never publish something that I donāt deem worthy, I mean, maybe in the end itās not but this is another story- and SO! @kidgoober, my dear, I apologize again for the delay and I want to thank you for your immense patience!! I hope that this would be worth of the waiting!Ā
Itās a comforting scenario with Giornoxfem!reader. I suggest to listen to āYou are enoughā by Sleeping at Last, before or after the reading -and the EP āAtlas: Oceansā always by Sleeping at Last during the reading-. Here we go! :3
Youāre enough
(words count: 1695)
In all your past relationships and friendships you always seeked especially two things: respect and honesty. And in Giorno you found both of them.
People were always surprised by how similar you were, in your mature and careful behaviour. How you carefully studied others, in order to know how to behave. Sometimes, people who didnāt know you thought you were just a fake person, ignoring how you were almost brutally honest with each other and your friends. Your behaviour wasnāt a fake one, but more a self-defence system.
In Giorno you found someone who could understand you for real. He knew the struggle of keeping just for himself a reply, he knew how heavy and poisonous were the anger and frustration you had to keep inside, again and again, ācause you āwere in no position to properly replyā. He was just wholeheartedly grateful that your parents never did to you what his stepfather did to him. You were the last person in the world to deserve this and, oh god, in case he would have liked to have a ātalkā with your parents.
Thatās why he always did his best to make you feel comfortable to talk with him about everything and to reply to him as you liked. With you he felt understood and at ease; he could, for once, lower his walls and not think about every reaction, every word and action. It wasā¦ freedom. And he wanted you to feel the same.
Together, you made so many steps forward. Together, you found that respect and honesty, deep and sincere, you both had searched for so long. You were not just partners, but also best friends, allies, supporters. Thanks to your developed ability to read othersā emotions, you both could tell immediately if the other was upset and act consequently. That was what happened also that day. The right moment you entered home, Giorno needed just a look to see you were deeply upset.
After quickly checking his mental agenda, he grimaced. Ohā¦ you said that you wanted to go to see your parents, that day. Your relationship with them, wellā¦ wasnāt the best of the world, but, from what youāve said, it had improved considerably in the last years. However, some issues were still ongoing and your face said that those issues had resurfaced, during your visit.
He didnāt ask you how you were feeling. He didnāt fake ignorance or a smile, acting as it was all fine. He got up, leaving back every paper, and walked straight to you, simply hugging you, tightly, safely. His fingers gently rubbed your scalp, as you sank in his embrace, sighing in relief. No matter how bad the day had been, Giornoās hugs had the power to lighten at least a bit the weight on your heartā¦ they tasted like home.
āWant to talk about it?ā he asked, kissing your temple. You sighed, closing your eyes, relishing a moment more in his warmth, before nodding. He led you to the couch, gently making you sit down, and then put on the stove some water for a good cup of tea.
After returning to you, he kissed your forehead, sitting near you and watching you with calm eyes, giving you the time to recollect your ideas. For long seconds just the soft noise of the boiling water kept breaking the silence in the room.
āMy mother did it again.ā you admitted, sighing. Giorno closed his eyes for a second. Of courseā¦
āWhat did she say?ā you huffed, fidgeting, before Giornoās slender fingers came in the way, gently holding yours.
āThe usual. She used me to rant about herself and inflate her ego. I had forgotten about one of my auntsā birthday, not even one of my closest aunts, and I apologized for my bad memory. And she? She went on ranting about how forgetful I am, how instead she always had such a sharp mind when she was youngā¦ letās say, how in general she was better than me in everything when she was my age.ā you took a deep breath, after that long tirade, feeling empty. Giornoās hands never left yours, not even for a second.
āAnd what do you think about what she said?ā he asked, quietly. You shifted a bit, pouting, feeling at unease. What did you think about itā¦
āWell, maybe she was right. And, like, after that I told her to stop this, to inflate her ego using me to elevate herself and she seemedā¦ hurt for real? Andā¦ and maybe I am the wrong one, not her, and that, wellā¦ maybe Iāll never be good enough to be at the same level as everyone else. Maybe Iām just too screwed up to be saved.ā you muttered, bitterly. You heard Giorno shifting and immediately after you found his face in your vision range. His eyes were serious, as his expression, and it made him look older than his age.
āDonāt ever say it. You are enough, you are more than enough. Do you know how much they hurt you? And look at you. Look at how strong you are. Look at how gentle and sweet and wonderful you are. What you lived could have turned you into a monster, but it didnāt happen. Your will has been stronger and you emerged from that darkness. And even today you still work on yourself ācause you want to be a better person. I am so, so proud of you.ā he said, with utter sincerity, gently stroking your cheeks. You blinked more times, to keep back few traitorous tears, before taking a deep breath. Enoughā¦?
āBut if Iām enough, if Iāmā¦ strong, as you said, thenā¦ why do I feel like this?- Giornoās heart broke, hearing how lost your voice sounded. -Why do I feel so small, why her words always make me shrink down? Itās likeā¦ itās like Iāve done not even one step forward. Itās like Iām still that scared child who learned to lie and read emotions in order not to be yelled at. I hadnāt grown.ā you concluded, slumping on the back of the couch, your head low. It was soā¦ you hadnāt grown. All those steps forward, all those progressesā¦ all lost in a snap. What kind of progresses those had been, if they crumbled down at the first difficult? You wanted to cry, but your eyes were dry. Even they didnāt want to cooperate, it seemedā¦
āI have to disagree.ā Giornoās voice was strong and determined, as he gently picked your head up, his fingers under your chin, to stop you from lowering it again. His turquoise eyes stared into yours, firm, serious, but also so gentle, so understanding. He could understand at heart what you were feeling right nowā¦ You were similar, all in all. You both, under the shield you had to build to protect your heart, were scared of the world. But, ohā¦ since the moment he met you, Giorno felt like the world wasnāt so scaring anymore. With you it was all betterā¦ and maybe it was worth to open up to the world. As long as he was with you, the world was a less scaring place.
āYouāre just having a small setback. Itās normal, youāre still healingā¦ thereās nothing bad in it. But this doesnāt delete anything good you have done in this period, it doesnāt delete your progresses. Even if now you feel small and not worthyā¦ you arenāt. I can promise you, you absolutely arenāt unworthy and not enough. I know it hurts, now, that you donāt feel motivated to go onā¦ but please, donāt let this stop you. Youāre not alone, nowā¦ weāll face it together, as we always did, ok? Those words will fade, as the pain they gave you. New, positive things will replace this pain. Weāll build new memories, togetherā¦ weāll build a happy life, as I promised you. It will be better, tesoro.ā he gently pressed his forehead on yours, staring in your eyes. A faint, sincere smile colored his lips and soon was matched by one on yours. You couldnāt doubt Giorno, when he was speaking with such a heartbreaking sincerity. You placed your hands on his ones, softly stroking their back and relishing in their warmth, feeling protected, as even your self-doubt couldnāt do anything against Giornoās light.
You sighed, feeling the weight on your heart lighter, at least a bit. All in allā¦ if Giorno, the person who more than anyone else understood you at heart, thought that you could do it, that you were strong and worth enough to achieve the happiness you deserve, thenā¦ then maybe it was so. Giorno wouldnāt ever have lied to you, even if the truth he had to say was ugly and painful. He wasnāt the type. Everything he said to you was exactly what he thought. And, wellā¦ this meant that he really thought what was saying to you.
His words slowly sank in you, as small drops of light, slowly chasing away the dark gloominess that had darkened everything you were seeing. You were enough. You were worth it. You will have make through it. You were strong. And you werenāt alone.
āThank you, Gio.ā your smile was more confident, now, and it made Giornoās heart flip in happiness. He smiled back at you, one of his rare but, oh, so beautiful full bright smiles, and softly kissed you.
āIām proud of you.ā he repeated, sweetly, before getting up and going to take off the stove the kettle.
āWould you like a cup of tea?ā you smiled, turning to watch him, leaning on the back of the couch. A rush of affection ran into your veins, as you were watching his elegant profile, focused on the tea bags and hot water, his golden hairā¦ your Giorno, who made so many steps forward, just as you. He was proud of you, but you were so, so proud of him too, of all the progresses he managed to do in that period.
āIād love it.ā you fondly smiled at him, waiting for him. He was rightā¦ together you could do it.
Together you were unstoppable.
