Ze about his personal life during war
No, it's okay. I totally planned to cry anyway. 🥲🥲🥲💔💔💔
#ARE#YOU#KIDDIN#ME#WHY ARE ALL THE PERSONAL BITS MOSTLY SAD AND HEARTBREAKING 😭😭😭😭😭#and like one trauma response and mental health problem after another#and of course NOW my brain decides to remind me about how he mentioned in the past (pre-presidency) ...#... that he always slept awful / not very good when he had to sleep alone without olena#that he always sleeps better with her#SO THIS LIKELY CONTINUED DURING THE WAR AND THEM BEING SEPARATED#also my mind is absolutely not going places because of that music comment...#...how he cant tolerate the quiet#...or ... worse...the thoughts the voices the images of what he heard and saw#how this way hes not lonely while being alone#how this is the only thing that calms him done enough for his mind to let him sleep#and everyone dont think about the possibility he may even still need the music even when olena is there#because even olena cuddling with him or holding him is no longer enough to let him sleep#what else oh yeah him having absolutely NO free time#because even the things he does in factually free time - reading sport watching a movie ... are not free time for him#but merely things to keep him alive and running and enduring#and probably a lot of it only happening because olena INSISTED on it and made him swear it to her#while getting andriy and maks on board to make sure he actually does these things#(and we are back to him literally being not just lonely but alone with his closest friend gone)#(no andriy for sports or watching movies or share a meal or talk about the book hes reading or talking about anything that is not war)#(and since we know they shared rooms and beds - no andriy to wake him from nightmares or be there for him or not being alone at night)#great i hate it 🙃🙃🙃
