#kidas-hips

okay well first while i wont say that ive been through a lot i will say that ive been through some shit. id been bullied for nearly my entire school career, but you know what im a stronger person because of that and ive made some really good friends so really it wasnt all that bad i can take that bs it doesnt even bother me anymore. ive been through some tough relationship shit too the main one is one ive already talked about where it was an online relationship and the guy that i fancied myself in love with decided one day to tell me 'i dont want to talk to you anymore' and just never talk to me again and the funny thing is that it used to bother me but it doesnt really anymore because im kinda like wow who cares that guys a dick but at the same time im still wondering why but for the most part the answer is simply that the guy was a grade a asshole ripe for the pickin. ive gained and lost a friend that i had been really close to all because of really she was a petty and ugly person and not ugly on the outside no she really is quite pretty but wow no shes a huge cunt but at the same time i gained the friends i have from it today and thats not a bad thing at all i love them all. 

i really think that the hardest thing that i had to go through was thinking that i was going to lose my newborn nephew about two years back now. see my sister gave birth on december 19 and when noah was first born there was obviously problems because he didnt cry when he first came out and he was blue in the face because somehow the cord got wrapped around his neck and this caused him to lose the oxygen that we need to go to our brains to function. anyway the first night he was alive he had two seizures and they had to airlift him to the stollery hospital in edmonton because the hospital here is too small to have the equipment that they needed to see what was wrong with him. anyway at this point olivia (my sister) and caleb (the father) were down in edmonton and near christmas we get a call from olivia and shes in hysterics because the doctors told her that noah probably wouldnt live to see a year old

what happened was that even though they got him breathing the lack of blood and oxygen that had gotten to his brain had made it so that some parts of it dont work properly so he wasnt acting like a normal baby would like he wasnt moving or crying or even anything and they had to put him on life support to keep him going while we and calebs family all drove down to edmonton

we were told that olivia's baby wouldnt be able to do anything on his own and would most likely have to be on life support for the entirety of his life

like i cant even explain how badly this upset me, but i cant even fathom how badly this hit olivia. to carry the kid for a little over nine months and then be told that your first son wasnt going to make it? no i cant even fathom that in the slightest

plus it was on christmas eve i think that olivia and caleb made the decision to pull the plug and just let nature take its course

the nursing staff all pulled strings so all of us could be with olivia and caleb and noah in a side room because there was only supposed to be three people at a time in the NICO at a time with the parents and there were like ten of us all together

anyway it was like a day later that noah started to show signs that there was brain activity

the short story is that noah is 24 months now and though he's not mentally at the state of a two year old he's alive and doing fine enough

basically the hardest part for me at that time is having the knowledge of the nephew that i had grown attached to even though i hate children while he was in olivias stomach was going to probably die before i even got a chance to meet him was horrible especially at a time like christmas