#kfam transcript guide

Note: My goal in creating these transcripts is to provide readers with as close an experience to listeners as I can. I make a lot of notes on tone and sound descriptions, and manipulate text (without messing with font family or color) in ways that I feel best convey how things are audibly expressed. Therefore, such things are very much subject to my own interpretation.

Things to know:

[these are sound effects, music, background noises]

[these refer to the tone people are speaking in]

*these are sounds people make, like sighs and laughs*

superscripts after words/phrases[1] mean there is an explanation of the reference being made at the end of the transcript

[1] unless it says “sic” instead of a number, which means the words are transcribed as said, even if they’re not said correctly

Any other punctuation or alteration in text is meant to be indication of how things are said.

Notes on frequent callers; most of these are noted upon the character’s first appearance, but left out after that. Anyone not on this list, I either haven’t gotten to or has no real distinctive tone overall. But if you ask I’ll do my best to describe them:

Emily Potter Generally, Emily sounds like sunshine

Troy Krieghauser Troy has a southern accent and sounds like friendship.

Herschel Baumgartner Herschel is a grumpy, old man. He sounds like a swear.

Cecil Sheffield [“Sessil” not “Seesil”] Cecil is also very old. His voice is often slightly shaky and confused, and slurred from drink.

Pete Myers Pete speaks very quickly and is permanently stuck between “It wasn’t me!” and “So there!”

Ron Begley Ron has a deep, gruff voice. He’s definitely a bear. (not the animal kind)

Archie Simmons Archie sounds like a Dramatic Gay™ Gossip with a southern accent and is always accompanied by the yapping of tiny dogs.

Doyle Bevins Doyle is a stoner. He sounds like a stoner.

Cynthia Higgenbaum Cynthia has a high-pitched, nasally, persistent “I want to speak to your manager” voice.

Riley Bevins I legit thought Riley was an automated message at first.

Mayor Steven Grisham Grisham is a smarmy politician. He sounds like a smarmy politician.

Finn Finn has never not been excited in his entire life. His volume suggests he’s always using speakerphone, but I’m not willing to bet on that. (Good for him if he is, though)

Dr. Jeffrey Rosenblum Dr. Rosenblum’s voice is measured and monotonous and mildly creepy at all times, especially when saying words/phrases meant to express any kind of feeling, like “Wowzers.”

Ernie Salcedo Ernie, or whatever he’s calling himself this time, has a heavy New York(-ish) accent. He sounds like the kind of person who says “whosie whatsies”

Howard Ford Beauregard III HFB3 has a “High Class-Better Than You” drawl at all times. Except “High Class” from 200 years ago.

Mary Jensen Mary has a southern accent. She sounds like your best friend’s mom calling you “honey” and asking if you want pie.

Tim Jensen Tim doesn’t have a notable accent/feel to his voice, though he often sounds nervous.

Reverend Xavier Hawthorne Hawthorne leads a for-profit, travelling mega-church. He sounds like it and over enunciates.

Chet Sebastian Chet has a deep, smooth, overly-suggestive voice. Good for jazz, bad for sexual harassment claims.