#kevinson

I was so sure the show was littered with subtext-y stuff about how Kevin and Madison where Miguel and Rebecca 2.0 while Randall and Beth were Jack and Rebecca 2.0.

And that Kevin and his ex-wife were too much of a horrible, toxic dumpster fire to ever have a shot at anything remotely happy or healthy.

And well… That’s not how it ended up. Haha. I haven’t been that taken aback by anything in well over a decade.

Yeaaaaaah. Unfortunatelyyyy. I know too well that they're gonna introduce some gorgeous chick at the last minute, create some beautiful monologue and background music to manipulate my feelings into "liking her" and that'll be that. I know too well, anon. It's tragic.

*********SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN “THIS IS US” EP12 OF THE LAST SEASON ***********

Kevin and Madison are not endgame.

Wow.  It’s been two hours and saying that out loud still upsets me.  Because, yes, I wanted it to be them.  If they were going to give Kevin a “Jack & Rebecca” love story, I was really rooting for it to be with Madison.  I was hoping that in this final season, Kevin would realize that love can look differently for him.  That it doesn’t have to be love at first sight (like it was for his entire family).  I wanted him to realize that love doesn’t have to flow in the traditional order that is #1 love, #2 marriage, and #3 kids.  I wanted Kevin’s love story to be original.  Messy.  Unexpected.  And his.  I wanted Kevin’s love story to be his.  And I really thought-- hell, I really believed it was going to be with Madison.  

But it’s not.  

And as sad as I am right now, I can live with it.  But if, and ONLY IF, he remains single.

Now I know that sounds crazy.  Kevin Pearson?  A single man for the rest of his life?  Yeah.  That’s exactly what I’m suggesting.  What I’m wanting.  It’s exactly what he needs.  He needs to be alone (at least for the next decade of his life).  If it’s not Madison, the only storyline I believe moving forward is for Kevin to truly make Nicky and Franny the loves of his life.  I need the writers to mean what they wrote when they had his character declare that fatherhood was going to be his love story.  Let’s go back to that. 

And I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter about Madison.  (Okay maybe a little).  But I really truly mean it because it makes the most sense for his character.

Think about who Kevin Pearson has been from season 1 to season 6.  He’s always been chasing something.  Football, acting and success therein, Sophie, approval from peers and his parents, Sophie, a certain social status, forgiveness, alcohol, Sophie, and so many other things.  He’s also been running from responsibility, guilt and shame, his potential, his addictions, and failure.  He’s never really been content with what’s right in front of him.  Not until Madison came along and popped Nicky and Franny into his life...

I’m repeating myself at this point, but, if Madison isn’t his love story, can we please settle on it being Nicky and Franny.  The girl he brought to Kate and Phillip’s engagement party, and then later to the birthday party really offended me.  I would’ve believed those choices pre kids and pre Madison.  But after?  Absolutely not.  Those brief dating choices completely undid his character’s development faster than anything I’ve ever seen in my life.  That was a poor writing choice that I refuse to support or acknowledge.  

I came into season 6 CONVINCED af. Convinced that this final season would be their love story. Convinced that we’d get to see Kevin realize his love for Madison on his own. Convinced that we’d finally get to see the pair of them for real. And after tonight’s ep… I was left very discouraged.

But then I went back to THIS

I studied this scene for what felt like the 48th time. Two things struck me:

1 - Kevin says, “I am a 45 year old man…” Forty-five. Now I don’t know what exact age the Big Three are at the start of s6, but I’m pretty sure 45 is at LEAST 2 years away. Ok that’s a lot of time. So much can happen in 2 years. This season has only been about 6 months. Sooooo it’s not like whatever is happening now is permanent.

2 -“I told you twelve times this morning…”.

I told you twelve times this morning.

✨I told you twelve times this morning ✨ With all the female clothes and makeup products in Kevin’s room… how could Madison communicate that often without waking up in the same room as him?? Ok, it’s her. I don’t buy it any other way, it just doesn’t make sense for her to say that if they’d just been texting. No, she told him herself in person. Cuz they shared a room. Cuz they’re sleeping together. Cuz they’re married.

I love the This Is Us writers. I do. But I don’t like the mental games they’re playing. They really got me tonight. They really got me worried about Elijah. I’m exhausted. I cant wait any longerrrrr.