#kennith thinks

okay so pretty much obvi the song follows a depressed man in his 30s named Haine, who is sent to a purgatory-like space called Weldline Hotel, which gives a space for the mentally ill, although, in the mind and heart, it feels like a real place. Haine works a standard office job but has no motivation for anything and has given up on life, in the lyrics he says it’s painful, which is why he is sent to Weldline. He wants to be happy but he gives up on it because of all the painful things you have to go through before you reach it, shown in the lyrics, “The one who has been longing for sweet things is, Haine Kleine, Ever since he was born, always, but he doesn’t want to savor, the sour taste of life anymore.” When we first see Haine, his hair and makeup are in a complete mess and hasn't been trimmed, his hair covers his eyes, which I assume is because he’s depressed so he doesn’t have the energy to go and take care of himself. He goes into a bar and takes a few drinks while judging a couple around him for seeming happy and finding true love, I assume he’s going through a breakup himself. He gets drunk and stumbles into Weldline, where he is greeted by Bellboy, a young man whom Haine knew in the past. Bellboy has a grudge against him but keeps his cool and welcomes him in with a key, but makes comments after.

Many years ago, based on one illustration, Bellboy had a crush on a woman, but she loved Haine, although Haine didn’t like her, Bellboy thought it was his fault and that because of this he ended up with his life going downhill.

Bellboy gives Haine a room in the hotel to stay in and Haine goes to his room. He goes into the washroom and stares into the mirror, it’s cloudy and shows that while Haine is dirty, he can’t see all of it and just wash his worries away.

Haine gets in the bath to attempt to clean himself up a bit. In my opinion, while most people take showers every day, this was probably pretty hard for him, being depressed isn’t just being sad for a while, it’s genuinely a horrible state where you can feel like you can’t do anything. But then at that moment someone comes and assaults him, in the shower, which in my opinion is one of the most vulnerable places ever, and Haine doesn’t have any energy to fight back . I should mention when Haine gets drunk he mentions it being paralytic.

He looks disgusted and repulsed but tries to forget and get through the moment, hoping it’s just a dream that will end.

He wakes up after, his room in a mess, with clothes and bottles on the floor. He stares in fear and shock, but then sits up from the ground and just looks tired of everything. After he finally makes some progress with himself, it all collapses like a Jenga tower, something bad always comes.

Nothing is said about it after, which relates to the earlier lyric, “The one who’s been turning a blind eye is Haine, so that everyone’s flawed hearts remain unknowable.” A shower is a place where you get clean, and being clean is a big theme in this song. Haine is clean but then dirtied again. It’s okay if you never truly get clean, as long as you try. It’s okay to be dirty forever because the world always will be. I could also see this being about addictions like alcohol etc, with clean also being a slang term for not relapsing for a long time, and Haine is depressed so it would fit. It’s okay never to get clean from hurting yourself or sober, sometimes you might feel like you won’t be able to live without it, and you might feel like you can never get better, and that’s all right too, because you’re trying at least a bit, and even if you can’t, it’s not your fault. I think being “clean” and “dirty” is the overall message of the song. The last lyrics of the song go back to this, “It's all right if you can't really become clean. May this world become far dirtier than it is now, forever. I wonder if I'll be able to get used to it by then.” This also goes back to an early lyric which is about birds but can be said about any person or animal, people who live in the same environment forever will get used to it even though it’s bad and will believe they can’t get better. This is a big feeling in addiction and self-harm communities too. The more you involve yourself in them the more your brain adjusts to it and starts thinking it’s normal and all right until you start feeling that if it is all right you don’t even need to get better when you do. “Birds that live by an unclean waterside feel that they won't find a pristine waterside's food.” After these moments with Haine, we see a story of a man with a hood.

He’s homeless and poor and tries to sell his art outside to make a living. He has to resort to methods like selling his organs and begging people to buy his art, but instead of buying it they say it’s not worth that much and demand it to be given for free. He calls them extorters and slave traders since it’s free labor. He grabs onto people, begging for a penny.

Haine wonders and asks Bellboy who to pity, the man who followed his dreams and ended up like this or the people who tried to encourage him to abandon them but have a better chance at life. Bellboy wants to answer nicely but swallows his answer and says nothing, as shown by the metaphor of gulping down the mouthwash. The man from the story is shown again, but when he takes his hood off, it’s revealed to be bellboy in the past.

Bellboy blames Haine for his life ending up this way since maybe it could’ve gone differently if he married his crush which Haine accidentally got in the way of. Bellboy was once happy, but then he saw his crush confess to Haine, and it led him into depression. He got bullied and eventually ended up in Weldline like Haine, and the bellgirl at the time gave up her position to give it to him and leave weldline.

Haine tries to leave Weldline but is stopped by Bellboy because he hasn’t solved his problems yet or tried to fix his depression or his inferiority complex. By leaving the purgatory you let go of your past and Haine just can’t do that, so Bellboy leaves instead and gives his position up for Haine.

Haine convinces himself that it’s all right to stay in the past, as shown in the scene where he chokes his future self, telling him that he will never escape it. Haine inherits the uniform and wonders if he’ll get used to it being this way, while Bellboy steps into the light.

In the story from earlier, it’s shown that the bellboy, or the poor artist from before, after being forced to sell his organs was able to purchase great things with his fortunes and kind of accepted it, but he refuses to acknowledge that part of the story, showing how he won’t move forward, while bellboy realizes that it can be harmful to stay in a constant depressed state, even if it’s easier to rely on something unchanging. Haine accepts his new role.

also silly headcanons!!!!!!

ibiki met hipi in middle school because they approached them in the library and he thought they were cool , hipi was a bit nervous at first but they became friends quickly!! also bonding a lot over both being "different" since Ibiki has hair (rarity in the bakuiverse since everyone is born with cloth in their head instead) and is disabled, and Hipi is cross eyed and alt 💙🤍

ibiki, 29 (his birthday is 9/27!) , intersex with de la chappele syndrome ! he/they and gay, they also have aspd 💙 he had leg problems as a kid so the best option was to cut it off , he uses crutches to get around. Brutally honest, and likes to joke around :333 if you make them mad they will hit you 💙 they wear bunny ears for fun! They don't really care what others think 💙 he likes walking around shirtless to show off his tattoos because they were painful and he wants people to see it, hipi thinks it's embarrassing but dgaf anymore 💙 ambivert 💙

midnight is sooooooo down bad for dawn but she feels like dawn is also way better than her when dawn thinks the same thing about midnight and she misses how things were before glare came so much even though she was in a worse living situation and sjfjishdskdbsjd I can't do this they're driving me insane with the gay yearning

why is she like that