#kenan

The second he walks in the door, you know.

It’s in the way his shoulders slump, in the way his bag hits the floor instead of the hook, in the way he kicks off his sneakers like they’ve offended him personally. He doesn’t even bother greeting you with his usual cheeky smile or half-muttered “missed you.” No teasing. No jokes. He just drops everything and beelines straight for you.

“Hey,” you say gently, standing up from the couch like you’re preparing for impact.

Kenan wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck like you’re home and he’s been homesick for days. You don’t even try to tease him, he feels heavy. Not sad exactly, just… exhausted.

“Tough week?” you whisper, hands sliding up his back.

He hums, nodding against your skin. “Too much. Too loud. Too many people.”

You nod, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “You want to talk about it?”

“No,” he says, then quickly amends, “Not yet.”

You press a kiss into his hair, already moving back toward the couch and tugging him with you. He follows without resistance, like he’s on autopilot now that he’s in your orbit.

When you sink into the cushions, Kenan doesn’t even ask, he just crawls onto the couch beside you, shuffling until his head is resting on your chest, one arm draped lazily over your stomach, legs tangled up with yours like he physically can’t get close enough.

You settle your hand in his hair, nails lightly grazing his scalp, and he melts.

There’s this tiny sound he makes when you do that, like a relieved little sigh, muffled against your hoodie. He’s not really saying anything, but you feel the tension unravel from his body like thread slipping loose.

“I needed this,” he mumbles after a minute, voice muffled against you.

You smile, soft and small, and tilt your head so your chin rests against his curls. “I kinda figured.”

Kenan turns his face into your chest, nosing at the fabric like he’s trying to disappear into you. “Can we stay like this all day?”

You glance at the clock, it’s 3:42 PM on a rainy Thursday, and honestly? The world can wait. “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“Good,” he murmurs, and it’s so soft you barely catch it. “You’re the only person I wanna be around right now.”

He sounds half-asleep already, like just being next to you is enough to start resetting his system. His fingers are doing that thing again, too, lightly tracing patterns on your side. Absentminded. Thoughtless. Intimate.

You keep running your hand through his hair, twirling a piece around your finger just to watch it fall back into place. “I thought you said you hated being clingy.”

“I do,” he says into your chest. “Just not with you.”

Your heart does this little thing where it flutters and aches at the same time. Because he’s so closed off around the world. So polished and professional and composed. Always the perfect version of himself. But with you? He lets go. He doesn’t have to be perfect. He just gets to be.

“Babe,” you say, teasing lightly, “You’re so clingy right now it’s actually concerning.”

He groans. “Shut up. You love it.”

You laugh and nod, even though he can’t see. “Yeah. I kinda do.”

Silence falls again, but it’s the warm kind. The kind that wraps itself around you and lets you breathe slower. Outside, the rain taps against the windows, and inside, Kenan’s breathing deepens as your fingers move through his hair, slow and steady.

Eventually, you feel his grip loosen, just slightly, like sleep is finally dragging him under.

“Are you falling asleep on me?” you whisper, pretending to be scandalized.

Kenan doesn’t even lift his head. “Mmhmm.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m tired. Let me be in love and sleepy in peace.”

You blink. The words hang in the air a second longer than they need to. You know he means it, he’s always meant it, but still. That was probably the most casual love confession you’ve ever received.

“Okay,” you whisper, smiling like a fool. “I’ll allow it.”

“Mmm. Thanks.”

He’s gone after that. Fully relaxed. Out cold. You shift just enough to grab the blanket from the back of the couch and drape it over both of you, careful not to disturb the boy sprawled across you like a weighted blanket.

Your hand finds his hair again.

And you stay like that.

For hours.

just a couple minutes.

that was all that was left for turkey to win their match, and to be a part of the last eight teams competing for the euros this year.

your heart had already leaped when austria had scored one goal in the sixty-sixth minute of the game, and just like everyone rooting for the same team as you, you hoped it would stay 2-1 for turkey.

you had obviously come to support your loving boyfriend, his first euro tournament in his career. he had already played a good eighty minutes, before his coach had decided to take him off.

sometimes he'd glance at you when the game was paused during a certain foul or injury. wanting to make sure you were still there, screaming and clapping in support for him. of course, the glances were pretty short, he had to focus on the game, and you knew that as well.

kenan would give you all the attention after the game, whether he won or lost.

making eye contact with him was your absolute favorite part. it was no secret that your boyfriend was a looker. every time he'd show up on the big screen, you had to hold yourself back from fawning a little too much, though the eye candy was always welcome.

especially in his white kit, it made him look like an angel as he was running around the pitch. the sweat from being incredibly active, darkening his brown hair.

you'd chuckle and smile at the occasional wink he would send you. it leaving you flustered and hot, although it had been drizzling for the past few seconds, it helping you cool down a little.

you fold your arms up, against your chest. wiping the rain that had been dripping down onto your naked arms, your turkey kit not helping you since it’s a t-shirt. you tap your shoe impatiently against the ground, well- the bleachers.

the game pauses for a second during an injury, watching the medics arrive. you look up suddenly when you're nudged by kenan's mother, who's sat next to you, a confused expression on her face.

"look up.." she says, pointing over and up to one of the huge screens in the leipzig stadium. you furrow your brows, not recognizing your own face for a moment.

realizing it's in fact you, on the screen, you smile, trying not to look awkward. your mother-in-law laughs, nudging for you to stop being so tense.

you chuckle, your lips pulling into relaxed smile, you wave your little türkiye flag, sending a quick flying kiss to the camera.

your face heats up at the sudden attention of the thousands of people in the stadium, and you're relieved when the camera pans back to the pitch, the game resuming.

you shake the situation off quickly, hoping you looked good at least.

your breath hitches when you hear the extra time being announced, and get ready for another torturous four minutes.

your mind switches to how anxious kenan himself might feel, at this point, he couldn't do anything about it. he could only trust his teammates to continue defending and possibly score another goal.

you turn to kenan's mother, an anxious expression on her face. you immediately grab onto her hand, smiling at her before squeezing her hand in reassurance. she turns to you, sending you a warm smile back.

you don't have to speak to know what emotions are running through your bodies, it's visible from the look in your eyes.

since you and kenan had been dating for more than a year, you had gotten very close to his parents. especially his mother, having her share the same feelings as you was both reassuring and very important to you.

the entire turkish supporting side of the stadium erupts in gasps and shouts as the ball is headed by a member of the opposition.

everyone's jaw slaws open in shock and happiness when goalkeeper gunök successfully swats the ball away, to prevent a last-minute disaster for turkey.

you and kenan's family start jumping in happiness, along with the thousands of fans. the noise is incredibly loud, and it seems to reach a higher frequency when the full-time whistle is blow.

you watch multiple of kenan's teammates drop to the grass in exhaustion and relief, some running to the goalie and some jumping up and down in happiness.

your heart beats faster when you look for kenan, smiling lovingly when you make eye contact with him. he waves to you, and his family.

the smile on his face makes you swoon, and you have to hold yourself back to not run up to the pitch and plant a fat kiss on his cheek.

the celebration lasts a couple minutes, and you all chant along as the players and staff make a circle in the middle of the pitch.

you immediately perk up when you're allowed to go down to the pitch. waiting for kenan's family to greet him first, as you fiddle with your white handbag. a gift from kenan on your last birthday..

"liebing.." kenan immediately coos in his first language, opening his arms wide for you to nestle in between them.

you wrap your arms around him, pressing your face against his chest. he brings you into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

"did you enjoy the game?" he asks, leaning down. his bigger hands cup your jaw, and he presses a tender kiss onto your forehead.

you close your eyes, soaking up the loving touch, feeling rain drizzle on you. the sky darkening as darker clouds become visible in the sky.

"i did enjoy the game. I'm proud of you, baby.." your mutter, looking up into his brown eyes.

he grins down at you, thumb wiping at your face. cheeks wet from the rain.

"oh! you're ruining my makeup!.." you complain, though you don't move or try to swat his hand away.

"it's pretty like this. just like on the big screen. that kiss was for me, right, liebe?" he quirks up his slit brow, peering down at you with a cocky expression.

"you saw that?"

"of course, I almost forgot where I was.."

you chuckle at his words, rolling your eyes in a teasing manner, before humming against his chest.

"aren't you cold?" he suddenly says, eyes darting to his parents. noticing that his father had already given his jacket to his mother. the both of them chatting with his teammate arda's parents.

you don't even get to open your mouth to respond, before he drapes his white training jacket over your shivering shoulders, forcing you to pull your arms through the warm jacket.

"thank you.." you smile, making him lean down for you to kiss his cheek.

the smile on your face grows bigger at his own grin, his pearly whites showing.

"now you're getting all wet, though.." you observe, reaching up to fix his wet hair. the once fluffy brown locks, now soaked and flat, stuck to his forehead.

you don't even notice the cameraman right next to you, totally immersed in fixing kenan's recently washed hair, and definitely not realizing that a huge camera is pointed towards you two.

"you need a warm shower, and maybe some tea. are you allowed to go out tonight? or do you still have a curfew?.."

you frown as your questions don't get answered, and make a confused noise when you feel his hand pressing against your back. pressing you flush against his chest.

"what're you doing, baby?" you question, following his eyes, only to land on the biggest camera lens you've ever seen in your life.

"oh.." you mumble in realization, instantly flickering your eyes away, and watching the protective look in your boyfriend's eyes.

even though you had been filmed before, when you'd attend kenan's juventus games, it never got any easier.

dating an athlete just came with unwanted attention and filming, though you tried not to let it show.

your chuckle to yourself out of embarrassment, burying your face into his chest.

"am I supposed to be looking at the camera?" you ask, words muffled, feeling his hands on your back. his fingertips dancing onto the wet fabric of the jacket.

"no, you don't have to if you're not comfortable. it's starting to pour out here. let's go inside.." he murmurs into your ear, before grabbing on your hand.

"are we running? what if we slip on the grass?" you ask, squinting and trying to cover your eyes from the rain with your arm.

"come on, i'll catch you if you fall.."

you manage to sneak a glimpse of the teasing smile on his face, before he starts dashing towards the inside of the stadium. a chocked laugh leaves your mouth, squealing at how fast he's running.

but, you're a little too happy you're inside, when you see how fast the rain switched from drizzling to pouring out of the sky.

"I'm not a footballer like you, remember?" you pant, placing your hands on your knees and bending over. trying to catch your breath, probably looking crazy to the family and friends of kenan's teammates.

you don't notice when he steps away for just a second, coming back with a towel to dry you off.

you feel his hand on your shoulder, then a soft towel on your head. you stand straight, grabbing the white towel off your face.

"thank you.." you mumble, patting your face dry, then reach up to dry his face with the other side of the towel.

unbeknownst to you two, you're still being filmed.

Your heart dropped when you saw Kenan pull his shirt over his head. You knew he’d take this hard because he was so optimistic before and this just crushed his dreams. Your work wouldn’t let you fly in for the games so you had to watch them from home and now you had to wait for him to come home before you could comfort him.

The second he got off the plane, you embraced him, just holding him tightly, trying to offer as much comfort as you could. The ride home was silent but not an awkward silence which was nice. You gently rubbed the pad of your thumb over his hand as you drove. 

“Warum hassen sie mich?” (Why do they hate me?) He quietly muttered once the both of you were laying down on the bed, his arms wrapped around you as he clinged onto you, you didn’t mind, you wanted him to be comfortable. Your face fell and softened at his question and you brought your hand up to his cheek, softly stroking his skin. 

“Sie wollen nur, dass jemand die Schuld gibt. Sie sind enttäuscht und müssen es an jemandem auslassen. Es ist nicht richtig, dass sie es an dir auslassen, es war nicht deine Schuld.” (They just want someone to blame. They're disappointed and need to take it out on someone. It isn't right that they're taking it out on you though, it wasn't your fault.) You quietly tell him as you press a soft kiss to his temple. He buries his head into your neck and you feel soft sobs rack through his body. Your heart clenches as he sobs into your neck and you gently run your hand through his hair, making soothing motions on his back with the other. 

“Lass es raus, Süße, es ist okay.” (Just let it out, sweetheart, it's okay.) You mutter as you hold him, trying your best to comfort him even though you don’t really know how because you haven’t gone through something similar. You’re trying your best and you know that he tried his best too but sometimes trying your best isn’t enough because the others are just better and that’s fine too, that’s the way life goes, some people just aren’t mature enough to realize it. 

It doesn’t take long for Kenan to fall asleep in your arms and you follow soon after. 

You wake up before Kenan and take the time to admire his face, he looks so peaceful and relaxed as he sleeps. You gently trace his features, you had truly missed him while he was away for the European Championship and although you wished he had gotten further, you were glad that he was back home with you. 

He stirs a little before opening his eyes, he’s still a little groggy from his sleep and he grumbles something incoherent before dropping his head back onto your chest, making you giggle. 

“Wir sollten aufstehen, Kenan, es ist schon 11 Uhr.” (We should get up, Kenan, it's already 11 o'clock.) You tell him softly as you try to sit up a little, he protests and pulls you back down, which makes you laugh. 

“Kenan, bitte.” (Kenan, please) You laugh as you try to sit up again and this time he just sighs and looks up at you with puppy eyes. 

“Okay, wir können aufstehen.” (Alright, we can get up.) He grumbles when he realizes you’re not backing down. He rolls off you and sighs while rubbing his eyes. You get up already and walk to the kitchen to make breakfast, giving Kenan a little more time to get up. 

He walks up behind you after a few minutes and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder and pressing a few soft kisses on your neck. You lean into his touch as you continue making the pancakes, carefully flipping them. 

“Ich weiß nicht, was ich getan habe, um dich zu verdienen.” (I don’t know what I did to deserve you.) He mutters into your ear, you smile and shrug a little. 

“Das frage ich mich auch, Hübscher.” (I ask myself the same question, pretty boy.) You reply before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and putting the pancakes on two plates, one for you and one for him. 

There’s a comfortable silence between the both of you as you eat at the dining table until he breaks the silence. 

“Wie soll ich mit dem Hass umgehen, den ich bekomme?” (How should I deal with the hate I'm getting?) He asks you, looking very unsure and vulnerable and you take his hand over the table. 

“Ich denke, es wäre am besten, wenn Sie die Kommentare zu Ihren letzten Posts in den sozialen Medien deaktivieren oder zumindest einschränken.” (I think it'd be best if you turn off the comments on your recents posts on social media, or at least limit them.) You tell him and he nods, it’s a good idea and it might help at least a little bit. 

“Ich bin so froh, dich kennengelernt zu haben, ich weiß nicht, was ich ohne dich tun würde.” (I'm so glad I met you, I don't know what I'd do without you.) He tells you with a relieved sigh and your gaze softens, a loving smile growing on your face.

“Ich liebe dich, Kenan, bis zum Mond und zurück, vielleicht sogar noch mehr.” (I love you, Kenan, to the moon and back, maybe even more.) You tell him, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Zum Mond und zurück.” (To the moon and back.) He whispers with a soft smile.

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I'm not entirely sure of what i think about this but meh, it's okay and i wanted to bring out some comfort fluff because seeing how sad he was and all the hate he's getting hurts so yeah