#kdsdrabbles

(your request is my command friendo!)

“I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”

It was common knowledge that Virgil Sanders was not a morning person. He liked to joke that any chipper early morning energy he might have had got sucked up by his twin Patton in the womb. As such, he required at least 2-3 cups of coffee in the morning. 

A little less well known, yet not all that surprising to the people who knew him, was that the normally composed and put together Logan Sanders (nee Berry) was a genuine gremlin in the morning. All those late nights working at his computer had to take there toll in some way. So while he wasn’t as much a coffee addict as his husband, he did need at least one cup in the morning to function properly.

So you can imagine their irritable response to waking up this morning only to find the coffee pot was empty.

Neither man was a pretty sight to see. The bags under Virgil’s eyes were so prominent he probably wouldn’t need to apply his trademark eyeshadow for the edgy aesthetic that morning. Logan was no better with his fainter eye bags, wrinkled NASA sleep shirt and bed head. And there was a dark aura seeping off both sleep deprived men. 

“I want a divorce,” Virgil deadpanned to his husband.

“I’m not lucid enough to care,” Logan said, his voice gravelly. 

“I should’ve just married coffee instead. Coffee never let me down.”

“Don’t blame me for our predicament Virgil.” 

“I’m not the one who forgot to prep the coffee pot last night.”

“Falsehood. It is always your turn to make sure the night before that our coffee is ready to go on Wednesday mornings.This is why we have a chore schedule.”

“You’d be right if it was Wednesday morning, but it’s not.” Virgil said. “Today is Thursday. A.k.a. it was your turn last night to pre-set the coffee.”

Grouchy as he was, Logan was half awake enough to double check their kitchen calendar. He could only gristle in defeat, slowly turning to see the smirk on his husband’s face at the confirmation he was right. Normally Logan was so good about keeping to his schedule, but with finals coming up, he’d stayed up particularly late last night typing up exams study sheets for his students. Enough so that he’d slugged straight to bed when finished, neglecting their coffee pot. 

“I could never get the hang of Thursdays,” said Logan.

“Solid Hitchhikers Guide reference, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still deprived of the black life blood that will make us human again.”

“Fine. I shall make the coffee myself. It’s only fair. But I’m afraid we’ll both have to wait approximately 5 minutes ‘till it is ready.”

“I hate waiting.”

“The Princess Bride? Charming.”

“’Least we’re both lucid enough to make references.”

“Pretty sure by this point it’s pure reflex.”

Logan shot him a weak smile, and Virgil couldn’t help softening a bit at the sight of his brainy gremlin. Even if he did screw up. Virgil hoisted himself onto the kitchen counter and sat waiting while Logan prepared the coffee grinds.

“I’d kill for a coffee…literally,” said Virgil. 

“We both know you’re not functional enough right now to go out and commit murder, not even for coffee,” said Logan, pouring the grinds into the machine.

“Maybe I’ll just kill you then.” Virgil poked Logan’s leg with his toe.

Logan turned to him, arching an eyebrow. “You’d have to make your own coffee if you did.”

Virgil thought on this for a few seconds. “…Nah, too much effort.”