Been following along with Budding Romance (🌟 star anon from before) and I just thought of "I won't let you take her away from me Jeremiah" possessive Xavier turning into, wait no "I won't let her take YOU away from ME"
First off 🌟 Nonnie, I love you and your brain. It's beautiful. I smooch you both 💋💋 (and your other ask is in my drafts bc im writing stuff for it!)
GASP! I almost forgot my obligatory @skynapple tag bc she deserves to know how much her fic has changed the brain chemistry of our side of the fandom lol.
SECONDLY- Xavier realizing he's about to lose Jeremiah, who's been with him through what is likely hands down some of the worst moments in his life? I can definitely see that causing some panic.
Roxie and I talked here about Xavier being very resistant to change and how, while he might not realize his dependency on Jeremiah on a conscious level, subconsciously, that's the one person who's been a constant in his life since they left Philos. Even if it's something you hate, humans still NEED consistency to be happy and healthy (both mentally and physically). You might hate getting up at 7am every day, or going to work, but living a life of pure chaos (or existing in pure apathy) just doesn't foster growth and recovery.
So once he realizes that MC might drive a wedge between him and his ONLY support pillar? The singular source of consistency in his life since they arrived on earth? The one person he's been able to count on for any normal conversation where he didn't have to pretend he was someone/something he's not? That would be terrifying. That would be devastating.
Xavier KNOWS Mc will reincarnate. Xavier knows she'll be back. He's lost her at least twice before, likely thrice, maybe more. That is a pain he's dealt with and learned to come to terms with. He's got a spot on his shelf for that pain and grief and processing.
He's never lost Jeremiah. Of all the Backtrackers that have left their cause, died, or outright betrayed him, we as the players know that Jeremiah has remained at his side the entire time, and that definitely means that Xavier is more than aware of it.
The saddest part is that I don't think he'll even realize all of this at first, and I definitely don't think it's his conscious brain either. This is something that likely comes to him in a dream, where he wakes up in a cold sweat with his heart racing as he flies out of bed, light sword drawn in his hand before he's even realized what he's done. Something that rattles him so deeply that it takes him a solid minute just to settle, to sit at the edge of his bed and calm his breathing with his head in his hands as he grapples with the discomfort of realizing just how attached he is to the both of them, but to Jeremiah specifically.
He is damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.
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This is a coupon to ramble about your favorite character or oc as much as you want use it whenever
-gasp- The first ask and best ask I've gotten!
Okay, buckle up, because Hunter <333
(Open at your own risk-- I'm serious, it's LONG)
From a meta perspective, I just so appreciate the way his trauma has been handled thus far. I think there's so much to delve into and it's so relatable to different kinds of traumatic experiences and it's just... really accurate, and handled well, and I appreciate that so, so much. There's religious trauma aspects, power abuse, and familial trauma. You can definitely interpret him as experiencing other forms of neglect/abuse as well. And the main focus in-story is the psychological abuse he experiences, mental and emotional, and how messed up that is and how much it affects him. And that's something that's overlooked a lot, I think- how non-physical forms of abuse can be so, so damaging and harmful. (And DO NOT get me started on the fact that he's the YOUNGEST GUARD EVER because ig employee abuse wasn't working, so Belos was like what about CHILD ABUSE. What about taking advantage of the basic instinct of people to TRUST AND OBEY PARENTAL FIGURES?? And then he isolated Hunter so he couldn't go through the developmental phase of having a peer group and discovering his own identity?? I HATE HIM)
Speaking of trauma, his panic attacks? The way they were both handled, both in how they were shown on-screen and the way other characters handled them (Eda making sure not to crowd Luz and Hunter & Gus teaching Hunter deep breathing my beloveds <33) is just. really good?? Zeno Robinson's voice acting in both scenes (and in general) is literally so incredible, I hope one day to have but a portion of the skill he's cultivated.
Anyways, apart from the trauma part, he's just such a sweet and fun character. He's sassy and sarcastic and his Golden Guard vibe is just, perfection, and whenever he's on-screen as GG I know I'm gonna laugh and have a good time even when I'm rooting against him. He seriously has some of the best, most quotable lines in the show, and I quote several of them daily.
He's such a lil nerd, too. We know he likes reading, and he can ramble off relevant information on just about anything he runs into. I can't help but wonder if his part of his ease at talking to Flapjack in Hunting Palismen is because he's used to talking out loud to himself when no one's interested/he needs to think something through.
Similarly, he's really intelligent. Not just book-smart, but he's incredibly observant (notices when Eda & Luz were standing in a dangerous plant, picks up on the fact Luz won't shoot him, etc.) He's clever and resourceful, too, as well as physically capable. Honestly, he's just good at his job, and you gotta admire the hard work and dedication that took. Even if his job is, you know, helping Belos.
He obviously deeply cares about his uncle (and "the greater good," as he puts it), but Belos uses that to manipulate him. He definitely hurts people as the Golden Guard, and he says in Labyrinth Runners that it's because he thought he was doing good things for a good person, but it turns out neither of those was true. So to an extent, he thought he was doing good even when doing things he was uncomfortable with (read: giving Belos Palismen). He also threatens Luz and Eda in Separate Tides, but honestly I think he was bluffing? That doesn't make it a good thing, obviously, but I really do not think he would've killed them in cold blood like that, he was being The Golden Guard(TM).
Speaking of, his personality seems to shift quite a bit from The Golden Guard(TM) to Hunter, which makes me think that a lot of that confidence he exudes is a mindset that comes along with being the GG. Like, he puts on the mask and gets the staff and is like "Yeah, I can do this, I'm the Golden Guard. I'm the emperor's right hand man, I've got power and recognition, I'm freaking AWESOME" and that's how he carries himself. But I don't think that's always how he feels, especially when we see that any real confidence in himself comes directly from Belos' validation, such as in Eclipse Lake when he has a complete breakdown at the thought of failing and losing his Golden Guard title and Belos' approval. (Belos definitely made him think like that on purpose and takes advantage of it and I hate him for it so much.) Also, I think Hollow Mind showed pretty clearly that the only thing Hunter has full confidence in is Belos, which is why the reveal that he's actually just a little bitch was so world shattering to him, because that is literally the foundation of his worldview and what he'd lived his whole life on. (-cough-religious trauma-cough-)
It's also interesting (and sad) to note that even though when he's The Golden Guard(TM) he's all confident and snarky, outside of that persona he's not even confident in being the Golden Guard. I mean, Darius, who Hunter does not seem close to at all, makes one snide comment about how he doesn't deserve to be the GG and his entire attitude crumbles and he asks how he can prove himself. From this random coven head who's being a jerk and isn't even Belos! He immediately transforms into a kid who needs to justify his existence! Darius didn't even sound serious, he was just making something up, but Hunter clings to the mission like a lifeline! He just wants to feel like he deserves to exist, dammit!!
Honestly, throughout all of Any Sport in a Storm there are a lot of things about how he thinks you can pick up about him from implications, too! While it's played for comedy, his complete and total confidence in his approaches absolutely reeks of someone who has literally never been exposed to the outside world. Which makes Darius' line about making connections outside the castle hit even harder, because not only has he not interacted with people his age before, but he hasn't interacted with anyone not under Belos' thumb without being, you know, The Golden Guard(TM) and trying to defeat them. (Except Luz in Hunting Palismen, which just makes that episode so much more interesting.) Anyways, he very confidently and casually talks about the Emperor's Coven, and how it's obviously the Best, and how 6AM is a very late hour to wake up, etc. (-cough-abused kid who doesn't realize it vibes-cough-). But when presented with one (1) person who thinks the coven system is stupid, actually, he literally freaks out. I mean, he KNOWS wild witches are a thing, but those are evil and dangerous and of course they'd say insane things like that (i.e. he demonizes them and thus wouldn't listen to anything they said). But this kid, this is a normal person, who just. DISAGREES with Belos? WHAT? He doesn't even know where to start processing that, because he has never been exposed to it. And the way he so casually brings up the training and literally has NO idea that people would consider that cruel or harsh says something about his cluelessness about the world, but ALSO how he doesn't consider that anything he's gone through could be bad. He doesn't even go after the other Emerald Entrails until remembering their Palismen will be killed, because that IS something he considers bad (because Flapjack, and I LOVE his relationship with Flapjack-). And that's probably a mindset that applies to a lot more than just coven training.
He also has his whole powerless-witch insecurity, which is why I think being The Golden Guard(TM) and having people obey/respect him is probably great for his self-esteem. Kind of like it lets him set aside that insecurity and feel important/worth something. That could also explains his attachment to Belos' staff in Hunting Palismen; I think it's a bit more than the basic utility of it and the fact it's from Belos, I think it's also because when he has it he feels like he's basically a "full witch" since he can use magic. (And like, I know he probably doesn't think of it this way because magic is just a Necessity, but he did JUST fine without it the whole episode. He's resourceful and skilled as hell, he literally does not need magic to do things.) The whole Golden-Guard-means-power may be part of his fear in Eclipse Lake, too, that not only will he lose the approval of Belos (and therefore his self-worth) but he'll also lose the only thing that makes him more than "half a witch."
Speaking of which, I am in LOVE with the moment in Hollow Mind where once he's alone with Luz he whips out Flapjack. Because he's not as attached to the Emperor's staff- it's not his go-to anymore. Flapjack has come to mean so much to him and so as soon as he can use him he does. Flapjack is such a huge figure in his life, too. Their whole strangers to friends arc is simply to DIE for, it is literally so sweet and shows so many great aspects of Hunter's character. He believes Belos, that Palismen are made from wild magic and dangerous. More than that, Belos needs them to help with his "curse," and Hunter will do anything for Belos. He seems pretty uncomfortable with killing Palisman, but -Gothel voice- Belos knows best, so he probably just pushes that feeling aside. They're dangerous anyway, right? They're not sentient or anything, and Belos needs them...
Then enters Flapjack, who by the way was introduced as wanting to escape/be free, and then proceeded to follow Hunter around after he expressed his own wish for freedom from expectations and to choose his own path in life. Hunter is immediately like "NO. Wild magic BAD" but with Luz's help he seems to calm down a little. He still thinks Flapjack is dangerous, but at least not going to attack him. Then, after being shown genuine kindness/unconditional trust by Luz for possibly the first time in his life, he turns around and fights Kikimora, NOT knowing at first that she didn't know who he was, and then watches Luz fly away with the Palismen he was sent to collect. The FIRST thing he did in this episode was use his staff to teleport back onto the ship from super far waway, but he can't even try to follow her now? With the staff in hand?? No, he abandoned the mission on purpose, probably out of appreciation for Luz and his own doubts about how moral the mission really was. Need I remind you how much he cares about Belos?? He researches wild magic while thinking it could curse/kill him because he wants to cure his uncle. He isn't just going to abandon a mission and risk not only Belos' disapproval but also his wellbeing for NO REASON. (This makes Eclipse Lake sadder btw, if you think about how he intentionally failed his last mission and now he's ended up so desperate.)
Anyways, Flapjack goes back and is immediately like "I'm gonna go find that kid again, he seemed pretty cool." So he finds the castle (which couldn't have been easy; he's so dedicated <3), and Hunter (who was probably just chewed out for failing) grabs him because Palisman! That's what I'm supposed to get! But he squeezes him too hard, and Flapjack squeaks in pain. Hunter immediately loosens his grip and apologizes, then remembers why Belos wants the Palismen. His eagerness disappears and he warns Flapjack that it's dangerous to stay. And then Flapjack turns into a staff for him. It seems like Flapjack was sure that Hunter was a good person, and that last bit of kindness he revealed his staff form. Hunter is shown to be pretty selfless here, and really uncomfortable with the whole Palismen consuming thing.
In Palismen Observations, it's implied that Hunter had been feeding/watching Flapjack since the beginning. He's such a nerd, I love him ;-; He probably isn't sure how Palismen work (I sincerely doubt that Belos is upfront with that information) so he starts studying one on his own. Hunter is a curious lil NERD and he deserves all the happiness.
Anyways, in Eclipse Lake he's not super attached to Flapjack, but he doesn't seem too minded by his presence either. He even hits him with the "Go find a better witch to be with :(" after his breakdown, so if Flapjack didn't know he was Not Okay before he does now. And through the whole thing, Flapjack sticks with him and even jumps in the way to protect him from King and helps him get the key. It's only after that, when Hunter's a bit calmer, that he seems to really appreciate how much Flapjack's done for him. He finally accepts the Palisman bond, and Achievement Unlocked: Communication!
But that's not the end of it! In Palismen Observations you can see that Hunter's still holding onto that belief that Flapjack is dangerous. Yes, he's done nothing but be nice so far, BUT he's OBVIOUSLY finding something. After all, Palismen are made of wild magic and wild magic is dangerous. He know he asks around to find out what a flapjack is, so he was obviously actively looking for information. He asks Flapjack about his previous owner/life (and doesn't get much, but y'know). And he watches Flapjack and keeps track of all the things he likes doing (for research obviously!! I'm sure he doesn't actually care about him or anything).
But he must find out how to reconcile Evil Palisman with Best Birb, so he devises an experiment >:3 (because he's an adorable lil NERD). Instead of feeding Flapjack his usual food (still not over the fact he'd been feeding him this whole time T-T) he'll give him BAD food, and then Flapjack will TOTALLY show his dark side. (Which can be seen as him failing to give Flapjack what he wants and therefore incurring a rage-induced punishment, which kindaaa sounds like Belos's relationship to Hunter idk- I might be reading too much into that but yeah...) So he conducts his experience and finds... that Flapjack is just a lil sweetheard who shares his food anyway T-T And you can HEAR the guilt in Hunter's voice as he realizes that of course Flapjack wouldn't freak out at him, he's Flapjack. So he stops his research, because he has his answer. (Heehee, nerd <33)
From then on he's shown to be super close with Flapjack. Like, they're never seen apart. And in Hollow Mind and Any Sport in a Storm, he uses Flapjack when possible instead of Belos' staff. And, in Any Sport in a Storm, we see him with Flapjack the entire time, doing his usual planning-out-loud-to-the-bird thing (which I love. baby.) Flapjack is even in the picture of the Emerald Entrails where Hunter's smiling! And again, Hunter didn't go after his teammates because he was worried about the harsh training they'd go through, he goes after them after Steve points out that their Palismen will be taken from them. Because Flapjack is someone he cares deeply about, and it's only when Hunter can relate their situation to Flapjack being in danger that he realizes that it's messed up.
Speaking of, this is where Darius really enters the picture! And I really like how he pushed Hunter's arc, even if it may not have been entirely intentional (and he definitely didn't have a good attitude about it). I particularly like when Hunter takes the cape and asks if he deserves it now, if he's worthy enough, and Darius just asks if he thinks he is. It may have been just a snide remark meant to make him feel insecure, but it still pushes Hunter to think, and in a really good way. Because his whole life, all of his opinions and feelings and even thoughts have been dictated by an adult above him. He asks Darius if he's worthy now because he needs someone to tell him he is, because that's what decides if he is. And Darius basically says "what do you think?" And he does think, and he realizes that he, Hunter, doesn't actually want to take people against their will (and definitely not Palismen-).
Not only does he realize that, and come to his own conclusions without being told what to do, but not only he puts himself in danger (going against a coven head who's probably going to tell Belos) but he goes against everything that Belos had ever drilled into his head. He also doesn't even try to hide Flapjack in that scene, which is probably just him not thinking about it in his panic to stop Darius, but I think it also demonstrates how much he needs Flapjack there. Because he feels guilty, and he's upset, so of course Flapjack would be there because Flapjack is his comfort and support. (The fear on his face when Darius mentions Belos finding out hurts me deep within my soul ;-;)
Then the other Emerald Entrails get away, and Darius gets mad. And Hunter tenses up, fully expecting to get hit (T-T), not even trying to defend himself or justify it, but instead of a punishment, he gets affirmation. A bit of positive physical touch, which he might've been too in shock to process, and Darius telling him that he was wrong and Hunter is actually good. Not good because he succeeded, or useful, or obedient, but because he made the right decision by himself. And Darius gives him a scroll and gets him to make an account so he can interact with other kids his age, and then promises to keep both the incident and Flapjack a secret. Which is a positive response to him making his own moral decision (definitely NOT what he got last time he tried that, in Hunting Palismen) and like. YESSSSSS <33 Encourage that, Darius <3
And at the end of Hollow Mind and throughout Labyrinth Runners we can see how close they've become <3 (Hunter absolutely processed the events of Hollow Mind & his subsequent Grimwalker research by talking it through with Flapjack and Flapjack was his only source of comfort and it's only thing that got Hunter through all of that and you CANNOT and WILL NOT be changing my mind-)
Then there's Hollow Mind and Labyrinth Runners, which are whole OTHER things that are SO GOOD AND INTERESTING and I love SO MUCH but that's just... wayyy too much for this post haha (Just know I would die for his & Luz's sibling energy and his & Gus's friendship)
I take it this is for Jemily so that’s what I’m going with. (If not lmk) Some authors you NEED to check out are: SloanGreyMercyDeath (Ao3), shetookyourbreathaway (Ao3), vhsrights (Ao3), jcreaus (Ao3)
Other fics not by authors mentioned above: [an attempt at a Christmas romcom] by LtTanyaBoone, Feelings 101 by writingatlast, someplace, sometime by gothwyfe, The Unforeseen Domination of Emily Prentiss by Lanierose442, What Are the Odds by supergayjo, I may just take your breath away by gravelyhumerus All of those are on Ao3
Also on ff.net theres a like 72 part series by ARtheBard that’s Jemily if you wanna take that journey lol.
Also also some of the above are NSFW as a warning.
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Jemily but like lazy movie days where they’re cuddled on the couch with Henry and they’re watching all of their favorite Disney movies and singing along in a giant cuddle puddle
The cuddle puddle is so cute!! I feel like Emily is always the one who asks Henry if he wants to have a movie day as an excuse to watch Disney movies all day. She needs to keep up her tough act that no one believes anymore. Like everyone knows how soft she is especially for JJ and Henry but they let her believe that they still see her as the compartmentalization queen she was known to be. When Henry comes running into the living room with a movie in each hand and JJ gets up off the couch and pulls blankets out of the closet and laying them out on the floor know that Emily will be bringing all the pillows off their bed.
Emily for sure schedules a pizza delivery for between movies 2 and 3 because she knows both blondes will be a little antsy by then. By the end of movie 3 Emily is left with Henry fully in her lap asleep and JJ’s head on her thigh asleep too. She has to gently move JJ so that she can go put Henry to bed and she makes sure to clean up all around JJ as much as she can before she scoops JJ up and tries to carry her to bed without waking her back up. She makes sure to go back and clean up the living room and put the pizza up before climbing into bed for the night. The second she sets settled JJ instinctually rolls over and cuddles into Emily.
and a bonus, why do you have a problem with the shawties waving?
1. Um, I’m looking to buy a F150 so I guess that one (GMC Sierras are pretty swag but I hate the company because of my old job)
2. Idk, I can’t think of a single type of tree besides Oak so, that?
3. I’ve never thought too much about it but I’d say a rose and I’m only going with that because I do have a tattoo of one lmao.
Bonus: LMAO, I don’t...not really. I know they get free serotonin from me having a reaction so yea. So hi Luca (I’m like 90% sure)
JJ acting real cocky and joking around with Morgan before they head in, but having to hold Emily’s hand the whole time. She keeps burying her head in Emily’s neck, and that night she asks to be the little spoon 🥺
OMG yes like JJ acting all macho around Derek but secretly knowing that she doesn’t do well with scary so she drags Emily to the end of the aisle so that she can sit on the end. She does that so she can cuddle into Emily without being judged and every time that JJ hides her face Emily just smiles while still watching the movie and pulling her closer. Emily makes her ask to be little spoon even though she’s been hinting at it all the way home just to tease her a little. She was gonna let JJ be little spoon anyway but she just had to tease her without outwardly saying anything.
