#kats evil thoughts...

ponyboy "im not a kid I can do whatever I want I can be independent" curtis.

but also

JOHNNY'S HAND GOING LIMP IN PONY'S.

JOHNNY'S LAST WORDS REFERENCING A POEM HE HAD HEARD A WEEK OR A FEW DAYS EARLIER AND THE FACT IT WAS THE POEM PONY HAD MEMORIZED, KNOWING HIS BEST FRIEND LOVED THAT POEM.

THE ONLY TIME JOHNNY WASN'T SCARED AND BRAVE WAS WHEN HE WAS SAVING THE KIDS FROM THE CHURCH.

PONY BEING THE LAST KID JOHNNY SAVED FROM THE CHURCH FIRE.

probably goes to the parent teacher conferences, lets him rant (gives horrible advice), gets questioned by teachers, ("arent you a little young?" "no, man, no.") Bla bla bla.

but it's ponyboy having to rebuild his life and go back to being normal after dally and johnny died

"are you man enough?"

but it's darry having to tell his kid brothers their parents are dead and now he has the responsibilities of being two parents at the same time on his shoulders

"are you man enough?"

but it's sodapop trying to act normal around ponyboy after his letter to sandy came back unopened

"are you man enough?"

but it's dally, hoping that johnny's not dead and he just passed out temporarily

"are you man enough?"

but it's johnny making a split second decision just to save ponyboy from drowning

"are you man enough?"

but it's darry and sodapop, never knowing when their brother will come back home

"are you man enough?"

but it's two bit, searching for his switchblade, trying to distract himself from the fact dally is dead

"are you man enough?"

you wanna know what else he is. a cool character thats got a lot to him that gets left up to interpretation.

we only see what dally is like from ponyboy's perspective but he describes him from a sense of that he's similar to a brother whilst is also slightly intimidated by him, but also is trying to remember him and help other people remember him.

dally was described as being cold and mean (?) but we don't really know why that happened. maybe it happened before he went to tulsa or when he was in new york and got involved in the murder wrap or when he got to tulsa or when he was 10 and getting out of jail. we don't know what background he comes from other than likely neglect and lack of support, like how he said "my old man don't give a hang whether I'm in jail or dead in a car wreck" and I dont remember the rest of the quote. maybe the lack of support indirectly affected him and made him into the cold person he was in the outsiders. the only time that dally was really sort of emotional was when johnny suggested turning himself into jail. he doesn't want johnny to turn into him, doesn't want the skittish kid to turn into a person whos unloving to the world.

he sees ponyboy and johnny like family/brothers/somethingthatsfamilialwhoevenknowsatthispoint, especially johnny. the second he's dead, dally just runs out. he doesn't seem to fully process it nor accept it, and it seems like he ran through a lot of denial. nobody knows what he was thinking in that moment, and likely nobody ever will. i like when writers write what they think he was doing in between the time when he left the hospital and died, because it was hours or something, but it was a long time.