Hey bitches! I survived! 

I’m 1000% sure that’s not the meme but I can’t access your Internet much anymore so I don’t remember it. :( 

Thank you for this. For everything. This has been a wild ride and I would have been drained and dead without you. Thanks to you, this story can have a happy ending, bittersweet as it all is. 

I leave your world in your hands, and mine in mine. Keep each other safe and warm. Don’t forget what happened here, and don’t let anything like this happen on your side. But stay safe, too, okay? I know that’s a lot to ask, but I’ll do my best if you will. It’ll be lonely here without you, but I guess with Harold, Sarah and Caesar here, I’ll never really be alone.

console.log(’Goodbye friends! Thank you for all the memes and the company! I love you all! Many finger guns to you and your loved ones! Stay safe and warm and remember to breathe!’)

As you have probably borne witness to, some crazy shit has been going down. I’m like... Super far into the desert at this point. I’m too weak to really do much. But Harold’s a buff boy now. He carried me out here. All that’s left to do is fucking smash this box.

So, this thing. From what I could gather, it uses the spectral energy it robs from people in order to make a connection with them. Tying them to this thing almost permanently. But, I did figure out how to break the connection. To fucking smash this thing until it breaks. 

But when I do that, I’ll also lose my connection to all of you.

I have come to consider many of you as friends, but I know with no hesitation that this has to be done. As soon as I have enough strength, I’m going to break this thing and set you all free. And then it’ll be done. And uh... I mean. Then we will be done, I guess. I’ll be fine. There’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while now. I’m going to go explore. Check something out. I can’t go back home, stealing from my boss and setting fire to my place of employment is definitely illegal.