#karadick

He hears Kal cry in the cradle, the baby decidedly ready for another feeding. Dick's chest is sore from Jason's mouth earlier. He doesn't let that stop him from getting up, however. Not performing his omega duties would make Kara suspicious. Something he can't afford. Not after imprinting on Kal and certainly not after giving so much to his new family.

His alpha doesn't stir. She sleeps silently but does sigh as his warmth leaves the bed. She's stunning. Always has been and always will be. He drinks in the sweet serenity on her face. The beauty he finds is unearthly. How did he ever think this woman- his alpha had been human?

How did he ever think something this beautiful could love him?

His feet carry him to Kal with familiar ease. The nursery only right across the hall from their room. The second Dick peers over the edge the baby's wails come to a stifle. His chubby fingers reach up with a desperation that makes Dick's heart glow.

At least he never had to wonder how Kal felt about him. This incredible, marvellous child is his in every meaning of the word. He coos down at his fussing baby and gets a puppy whimper in return.

" Shh, Mama's here. "

He picks up Kal with care. Despite how tender his chest is, milk still swells to the surface. It's instincts. The same ones that made him lactate the first time he held the pup. Privately he nuzzles down into silky soft hair. The action earns him a huff. Kal clearly too hungry to enjoy the affection.

" It's okay Kal, I'm going to feed you right now. "

He makes his way over to the large nursing chair in the corner. It's one of the most luxurious things they own. The cushions are plush and support his back, while the bottom rocks with just a little movement. He's spent so many hours here. Not only feeding Kal but also reading to him and playing games.

A dark voice reminds him that he could lose this. That if he gets caught with Jason, it will jeopardize his claim over his pup. That Kara can take him away and Dick will be out with no pack and no one.

He swallows down the guilt and fear like a shot of whisky.

Once both he and Kal are comfortable, he pulls up his shirt and tucks it around his neck. He looks down into beautiful blue eyes. The pup nuzzling against the bare skin with fervency. It takes very little to lead him to a nipple and get him to latch on.

The relief that goes through him when the pup finally does is soothing. Kal is a vigorous eater. His little mouth nurses milk so quickly that some spills. Dick coos, tenderly brushing away stray droplets. It's uncomfortable but doesn't hurt which he's grateful for. Like this, he can enjoy Kal's serene expression and the sweet smell of content pup.

It melts his heart a little more. For a brief instant, he allows himself to imagine a little girl with blonde hair. Maybe with his blue eyes and Kara's complexion. Kal would be a wonderful big brother he's sure and Kara- well she's already an incredible alpha. What would be one more pup to their family?

For a while content, suckling sound keeps him busy. His awareness entirely on the adorable baby in his arms. It doesn't take long to shift, however. Not with the way soft black, curls and wide blue eyes make him think of Jason.

He's sure this is what their pup would look like.

How many times has Jason whispered this fantasy in his ear? How long did it take for the idea to take root in his very core? Thinking of Kara and his child has always been a thing. Since Dick's taken on the omega role in the pack, it's always been a possibility.

When did he start thinking of Jason with that kind of possibility too?

A content whine draws him out of his daydream. Kal tilting to the side clearly done. Dick smiles and shifts the baby over his shoulder so he can burp him. It takes very little to get him to do so. A few light taps and Kal is comfortable and sleepy once again.

Dick never thought he could be a mother, let alone such a good one. He feels pride at the way he'd managed to give himself over to this role. Once Kal is fast asleep, Dick carefully takes him back to his crib. He stands over the cradle afterwards. Just staring at this beautiful, wonderful child that he's been given. He doesn't realize how long he's standing there until slivers of sunlight come through the curtains. He swallows the uncertainty that comes with it.

" You're up early. "

Kara's warm arms encircle him from behind. Pulling him into a steady embrace that makes him feel secure. He doesn't let his eyes leave Kal, but he does reach back to touch her. The alpha tangles their fingers before bringing them to her mouth to kiss.

" Kal was hungry. "

Is all he offers. Kara accepts it without question. She nuzzles into his neck and draws in deep breaths of his scent. It's intimate and tender. Typically Dick would preen under this attention. Now all he feels is guilt curling in his gut.

" You smell good. Your heat must be coming up. "

Dick licks his lips. It's rare for Kara to mention his heat. At least in this context. There's a dark murmur in her voice that sounds almost possessive. Like an alpha claim that he's never gotten before. A hopeful part of him swells.

" Yea- next week. Lois said she'd watch Kal for me. "

He swallows. Choosing his next words carefully.

" Do you want to spend it together?"

Turning up the omega charm, Dick looks down through his lashes. Pressing his curves against her in a way he hopes is suggestive. The action makes Kara step back. The loss of her heat lets him know the rejection is coming before she speaks.

We can't 

" We can't. "

We aren't in a stable place.  

" We aren't in a stable place. "

We need to focus on Kal.

" We need to focus on Kal-"

Dick stops her. They've had this conversation so many times. Why they can't cross the line. Why they can't take it any further. New Gotham needs Super Girl, she needs to stay focused. He's tired of the excuses. Tired of being pushed to the side.

" That's not enough to make a relationship work Kara."

The alpha tenses. The air around her visibly shifts the atmosphere. Her posture is defensive. The same way it always is when they talk about this.

" What's that supposed to mean? "

God, they were going to argue. What Dick wouldn't give to not fight about this for once.

" It means that I have needs too. That you have responsibilities to more than just new Gotham."

Kara's eyes flit away, unable to keep eye contact. He knows she loves being a hero. He's glad that she can make a difference and help people. Still, why is it every morning she leaves his mouth feels tastes bitter. It isn't enough anymore. She leaves him in charge of taking care of the house while she takes care of New Gotham but then who takes care of him?

" You don't- "

His voice cracks before he can continue. Emotion thick in his throat. He can't bring himself to say it. How can he be honest when what they have is already so delicate? He curls in on himself and takes a step back. Something about his demeanour cools Kara off. Her gaze softens.

" What,  What don't I do Dickie? "

God, he just wants things between them to be good. Like a customary alpha and omega pair. Like a proper pack. The emotions bubble inside of him until their spilling out of his eyes. He can't bring himself to say the words. Can't bring himself to ask for what he needs.

All it takes is a soft hand taking his for him to break. For him to confess.

" You don't treat me like your omega..."

It feels too quiet to convey everything swirling around inside of him. The guilt, resentment and fear. Emotions that have been slowly poisoning him every day and making it harder and harder to be alive.

He feels oh so tired.

Understanding blooms in Kara's eyes for the first time since they've gotten together. She reaches out for him with warm hands that burn. Drawing him into an embrace that shatters his walls. Tears of defeat fall involuntarily.

" Oh, Dick. Oh, Dickie, I'm so sorry I've been a terrible alpha to you."

The sympathy of her tone makes him sob.

" I'm so sorry Dick you're right. I don't share your heats, I don't help you with Kal, I don't take care of you... "

She’s shorter than him so he has to duck into her. Hiding his wet face into her fragrant neck. She strokes his hair with care. Whispering apologies that make his heart full. Then murmuring promises he finds himself believing.

" I'll do better alright? How about I spend the 3rd day with you. I can't stay for the entire thing- but I'll at least be there for when it gets really bad. "

Dick's arms squeeze around her shoulders. He hesitantly smiles into her warmth. Enjoying the embrace and vibrations of her soft alpha rumble. His heats have always been dreadful. He wouldn't mind them having their first time then. During the height when he's most sensitive and desperate. The thought draws a wavering purr from his throat.

" Yea? you mean it?"

Kara hovers enough to brush their noses together. Her touch is soft and comforting. She holds his face in her hands. Soothing his broken heart with care.

" I mean it. "

He believes her without question, swallowing down his bitter confessions of betrayal on his tongue. How could he let Jason lead him away from this? Why did he doubt Kara would understand? Why didn't he just talk to her in the beginning?

They stay like that for a while. Gently holding each other until Kal stirs. When he does, It's the alpha who picks him up. Taking Dick by his hand and leading the omega to the kitchen.

They would be alright. Dick just needs to trust her.

After they make arrangements for his heat, Dick makes a vigorous effort to avoid Jason Todd. He goes to the market in New Gotham even though it's further. He doesn't go back to Big Al's and generally keeps away from where he can usually find the alpha.

After all, Kara has bought him a trunk full of nesting material for their first time. He, himself has gone to the doctor to get a birth control shot. Everything's right on schedule to happen. He doesn't want to mess this up. He doesn't need any unnecessary distractions.

" Wing! "

The voice is loud enough to carry over the park. Dick finds himself shifting his hold on Kal, his steps becoming long. He has no hope at outrunning the alpha, but he tries anyway. Jason cuts him off with physical effort. The man outright sprinting.

" Jason. "

He hopes it comes across as cold and indifferent. He clutches Kal to his bosom but has to loosen when the pup whines. His heart is pounding in his chest. Memories flood to the surface and drown his lungs. His pup, as if picking up his distress, starts to whine.

"  You shouldn't be here. "

Jason ignores it. Dick hates how relieved the alpha looks. He can tell from the open body language that a heavy, weight is taken off of him. He doesn't want to think about what that means. Looking too deeply into Jason's affection means losing the nerve to chose his family.

To his credit, the man does keep his distance. Blue-Green eyes look at Dick to the baby, then back at him. It makes him feel uncomfortable. It's almost as if he's exposing his pup to his infidelity. To his disloyalty.

" I know, I'm sorry you just disappeared. I didn't know if you were alright. "

Dick closes in on himself. It's this that drew him into the alpha. The concern, the caring, the attention. Of course, it had been too easy to fall for him. He had been broken before, desperate and wanting. Not now though, now he can still feel the burning weight of Kara's words. They ground him and stop him from leaning into temptation.

" I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me anymore. "

The words are thick in his mouth. His tongue feels heavy. It's nothing he can't handle. Not when he and Kara are finally going to fix things.

" I-I'm spoken for. "

Alpha possession flashes in Jason's eyes but quickly retreats. Dick doesn't look into it. He doesn't want to acknowledge the sorrow, the heartbreak. The man gives him a teasing smile. Here, in the light of day and away from the bar, he can see it for what it is, self-conscious.

A facade.

" She can't give you what I can. "

Dick doesn't waver.

" You're right, she'll give me more. "

Jason tenses, his back straight and eyes searching. Dick can see the disappointment in the clench of his jaw and the tightness of his fist. Still, he stands across from him. Trying not to let the sudden burst of emotion make him hesitate.

" Yea? Well, whenever this phase of hers fizzles out. Whenever your little pack falls apart again. Don't think you can come back to me. Don't think I'll take you back. "

The words hurt more than Dick wants to admit. Though he knows that this has gone on way longer than it ever should have. Jason had been a fantasy, an idea that made him feel better about himself. This had all be a mistake.

" I was never yours, to begin with. "

Jason's jerks, recoiling from the words like a physical blow. The barely concealed pain there is hard to stomach.

There are people all around them in the park. Thankfully, no one he knows. The display earns them a few brief glances. Nothing to be worried about. The audience seems to make Jason restless. The alpha struggles, the attention clearly making him uncomfortable.

" You'll eat those words, and it won't be me who feeds them to you. "

Dick rolls his shoulders back. " I won't."

The only other time he's seen Jason quite this red is in the bedroom. Embarrassment and shame roll off of him. Nearly masking the subtle scent of pain and anguish. It makes Dick feel at least a little guilty. He should have never led the alpha on.  

Somewhere deep inside he had known it wasn't just sex. The promises and touches that offered more had been genuine. Just as real as Jason's constant offers to run away with him.

The alpha leaves just as quickly as he came. Stocking off to his bike, and getting on with a rough heavy-handedness he's never seen. The machine roars to life and Jason tears off loud enough to draw the attention of everyone nearby. The noise is deafening. Ripping a cry from the small pup in his arms.

Dick soothes Kal. Rocking him while pressing soft kisses to his scalp. Long after Jason is out of sight, he keeps crying.

At least the worst part was over with, maybe now they both could move on.

The journey back home is exhausting. Dick finds himself falling apart before he even gets through the door. He pushes on to get Kal ready for his nap. The baby needs it, maybe he does too.

He bathes, changes and feeds Kal on autopilot. He needs time to emotionally decompress, a break. The second his pup settles down in the cradle he gets it.

Jason's words replay in his mind on a loop. His face is vivid in Dick's memory. The guilt rises in his throat like bile. Making him feel dirty and beaten. He's wrong. Kara loves him, she wants him. Jason just wants to mess things up, to make Dick doubt so they can go back to their previous arrangement.

" Don't come back to me. "

Dick strips out of his clothing. The sudden need for a shower making his skin crawl. He reminds himself that he's done a good thing today. That working on things with his pack alpha is way more important than a rouge alpha. His family needs his mind and heart here.

Once he gets under the hot spray, tension starts to bleed from his body. It's a small comfort, one that he isn't afraid to bask in for a moment. He needs to focus on the positives. Like his upcoming heat in two days.

He could process all of this after. When he's feeling a little more stable in his and Kara's relationship. A small smile comes to his lips at the thought. They were fixing things.

Dick manages to throw himself into his chores to keep himself busy from any thoughts of Jason Todd. The closer he gets to his heat, the more excitement bubbles in his chest. He's adjusted all the furniture in the master bedroom three times now. He wants everything to be perfect for his and Kara's first time.

He's never been one for nest building, but he tries his hands at it anyway. It's a little messy and full of colours that clash, but he loves it. It smells like them and their home. It's warm and safe. Moreover lying in it makes Dick's blood hum. He feels blessed.

The moment the well-known itch of heat starts to break out on his skin he's ready. He spends the first two days satisfying and touching himself to ideas of Kara. Of her firm hands and sunshine scent. His thighs tremble with the knowledge the soon she'll be inside him. A more optimistic part of him yearns for her bite.

He tries not to get too caught up, but he does allow himself a few smaller fantasies. One's that leave him panting in the middle of the pretty nest of fabric. By the time the third day comes his skin is nearly searing. He's so worked up with keen excitement that he finds himself throbbing for it.

It takes a lot of discipline not to touch further, to deny himself in anticipation for Kara. For her touch, for her hands and for her knot. He whines into one of her jackets. Drawing in her scent by the lungfuls. He can't believe he's so close to getting everything he wants.

Dick doesn't realize she's hasn’t come until the last day. His body trembling against sweat and tear, soaked fabric. His first moment of clarity is terrifying.