Roger: [sneezes]
Bertie: I would say God bless you, but it seems he already has.
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Roger: [sneezes]
Bertie: I would say God bless you, but it seems he already has.

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Etta “Let’s get Kate” Perrault and Bertie “Where’s Roger?” Renard
Roger: Until I fell in love with you, I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
Bertie: So you were gay… and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay.
Bertie: Do you like my outfit?
Roger: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Bertie: [gasps and then laughs] Roger!
Roger: No, I need your chair. Get up.
Roger: I have to kill him.
Kate: Who?
Roger: *glaring at Bertie from a distance* I don't know how to hit on him so he has to die.

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Bertie: *pours water on Roger*
Roger: whAT THE HELL?!
Bertie: It looked like you needed water because you're smoking hot.
How have I never before realized that Roger and Bertie's ship name could literally be Robert????
Soft Spot
Story Summary: Roger and Bertie babysit Kate and Etta's baby.
Ships: kapnard, mention of ketta
Notes: This is the second half of the domestic aus for @whoopsiedaisiedoo (love ya Kate!) hope you enjoy!
Read it on AO3