Dec 23, 2013
Santa Clause
Before I became a teacher, I was Santa Clause. My hair turned grey from all the stress during my stint in 'Nam, and when I got put out of commission thanks to a bullet in the buttocks, the government paid all my bills. Well, eventually the government forgot about lil ol' me, and stopped paying for all my expenses, so I needed a job. All I could do by then was drink beer and sit for extended periods of time - luckily just the skill set needed to become a mall Santa.
One kid said he wished he could have a cast because it would make him cool in school, so I snapped his wrist on the spot. And that's how I lost that job.
