#kanda headcanons

Thank you!!! And your love of fluffy Kanda is keeping me alive!!!

I hope you enjoy!!

The day had been long. Too long.

Kanda had been sent out onto a mission with both Lavi and Allen as his partners. That should have been the only red flag he needed to know that this would have been a bad mission. 

They all were. He had never particularly enjoyed going on missions. They were no more than part of his job. While his prideーwhether it was pride or arrogance was something that could be heavily debatedーin the skill he had to kill akuma was undeniably present, he didn’t actually enjoy doing so. It brought him no pleasure.

It had started out badly enough. The stupid moyashi had actually managed not to be too annoying on the train ride as he fell asleep pretty early on. The problem was the idiot rabbit. No matter how many times Kanda told him to fuck off or just flat out ignored him, the redhead just continued to prattle on about this, that, and the next thing. 

And then he fell asleep. Not so much because he was tired, but because it was the only way he could successfully leave the one-sided conversation.

Or so he had thought.

He had awoken shortly after he had fallen asleep when he felt his hair being tugged on. When eyes the color of a summer sky opened, they found that Lavi had almost completed the act of braiding his ponytail.

Allen had woken up to the sounds of yelling and fighting and tried desperately to pull Kanda off of Lavi which only resulted in them fighting as well.

The mission itself had been a difficult one. The swordsman counted his lucky stars that it had been short. 

Allen had seen the akuma coming, but they still hadn’t been able to really prepare for what was coming. It was the largest hoard of akuma any of them had ever seen. And they had been accompanied by Road, who apparently was only there because she had missed Allen and wanted to pay him a visit.

Kanda had even managed to take a really good hit to the shoulder that had hacked his left arm clean off, meaning that he couldn’t use his double illusion swords like he had wanted to.

They had managed to kill all of the akuma and Road had left before they could go after her.

His wound had already healed. That meant that, much to the horror of Allen and Lavi who had gone green watching him, he had to reopen the wound at his shoulder with Mugen, place his arm back where it was supposed to be, and wrap it up so that it would heal in one piece this time. Except he hadn’t been able to wrap it properly with one hand so Lavi had been forced into helping which made the whole situation a thousand times worse for Kanda.

By the time they made it back to the Order, he was exhausted in every conceivable way. He grumbled to Allen and Lavi to let Komui know that he’d be in with his report the following morning before he parted ways with them, not bothering to wait for a response or even look back.

Then the head nurse found him. He had no idea which of the two idiots had ratted him out for being injured, so he made a mental note to murder both of them, just to be safe.

He spent an hour sitting on a cot while the woman undid all of his gauze, applied an antibiotic that fucking stings, you old bat! Before she went about the task of rewrapping everything up, nice and neat like a little gift. He snorted to himself at the thought, like temporary amputation was a gift.

Fuck, he just really wanted to sleep and forget about that whole day. He rubbed his palms over his face in exasperation.

As he began walking through the winding corridors of headquarters, he was stopped by the sound of crashing and screaming.

He turned to see another one of Komui’s asinine robots holding Allen while saying something about turning him into food, while Reever was yanking on the moyashi’s jacket in some fruitless attempt to rescue him. He had already begun walking away, completely intending to ignore it, until he heard the sound of Lenalee’s screaming. God fucking dammit!

So he had wasted more time having to destroy the demon robot while fending off a hysterical Komui.

Quiet. Sleep. Being alone. There was nothing more he needed. He was so close.

When he opened the door to his room, he was greeted by the sight of a lump under his blanket. Fuck, he hadn’t considered that they’d be here.

He had tolerated and maybe, just maybe, enjoyed the other’s presence previously, but right now, he just wanted to be alone. Was that really too much to ask for?

They were sitting up now, rubbing their fists into their eyes. “You’re back.” They said with a smile that was quick to falter at the scowl on Kanda’s face. “Do you want me to leave?” Their voice was small, but he knew from experience that if he were to say yes, they would leave. They’d pout about it, but ultimately, they had been pretty good thus far when it came to respecting his space when he needed it.

“Do whatever you want.” He mumbled before shrugging out of his dirtied uniform and threw it haphazardly into the corner of his room. 

The room was silent and filled with a pregnant tension as he went about changing into his sleeping clothing. He should shower, he realized. He was filthy. 

In the morning. Right now, he just needed to fucking sleep.

He pulled his hair from its tail and quickly combed his fingers through it, too irritated to bother with combing it properly. Again, in the morning, he thought to himself.

When he climbed into the bed, he was quick to roll onto his side and away from his partner. They moved to snuggle up to him from behind, their chest pushing into the tensed muscles of his back. They began to run gentle fingers through his hair. 

His partner didn’t say a word. They normally liked to talk so Kanda thought this strange, but was not going to complain right this second. Not even a, “Hey, how was the mission?” Complete silence. It hit Kanda then that they were being quiet and doing no more than soothingly running fingers over his head and through the tangled tresses of his dark hair for him. Fingers ghosted his scalp in their ministrations and he was quick to find his eyelids growing heavily.

“I love you.” He blurted out, his voice quiet and thick with sleepiness, his eyes already having fluttered shut. He was falling quickly into the void of sleep and wasn’t sure whether or not he had said the words out loud or if he had simply thought of them.

Behind him, his partner was grinning ear to ear.