#kai!angst

BATTLE SCARS                          - PART I

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 4 343/ reading time: 16 minutes summary: Almost a decade into the future after Kai is left in a new Prison World, Reader is trying to get him back to the real world with the help of some of the most powerful witches history has ever known. *gif by me ________________________________

Having her world crash and burn before her eyes for the third time in a row these past few years was the last thing she had thought would happen. Thought hadn’t crossed her mind that it would be her friends, people she considered family, who caused it again. Especially since they knew how hard it was for her to make it through these past few years without him. A tear silently rolled down her cheek, her eyelids fluttering closed for a second. For four years every time she closed her eyes, she was right back at the wedding fiasco; his lifeless body laying on the ground before her, though his head was across the floor after Damon had killed him. A few seconds, she had only been a few seconds too late back then and it had happened again. The love of her life was back, against all odds, and she had lost him because of her friends who thought they were doing what was best for them and the people of Mystic Falls.

   “How could you?” she opened her eyes, looking at her best friend and distant cousin Bonnie. “You know what he means to me –“

Bonnie took a few steps towards her, reaching to touch her hand but she pulled away. “I had to. Kai… he was too far gone this time. He tried to kill Lizzy and Josie and then went after Alaric –“

Lizzy and Josie, Y/N thought. Four years they had been the closest link to him she has had and now they were the reason he was gone again. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to blame them because it wasn’t their fault. “Kai never would’ve gone after them if the two idiot heroes hadn’t decided to bring him to the Armory! You are a witch, same as me. Don’t tell me you’ve never felt the magic there! Witches literally siphon it without trying. What did they think was gonna happen bringing a siphoner there?!”

     “We needed the dagger to kill Cade –“ said Bonnie.

     “And you got it! You got the freaking bone dagger! Why did you have to take Kai away and lock him up?!” Y/N jumped up to her feet, the lights all around them flickering more and more with each second. “We were leaving anyways. I was at the bar with him. I – I went to the bathroom, left him alone for 5 seconds and you—you took him away!”

     “It was for the best –“

     “Send me there.”

     “No.”

     “Please, Bonnie. I – I need to see him. One last time.” she pleaded. “I have to at least say goodbye to him.”

     “You want me to send you there so you can get him free –“

     “Bonnie –“

     “I won’t let that happen. He is where he deserves to be –“

Y/N grabbed Bonnie’s wrists. “Send me there, Bonnie Bennett –“

     “No.” he friend repeated. “There is no way I will unleash him on Earth after putting him when he should be. You are better off without him! Look at everything you’ve accomplished during those four years – you graduated college. Got a job you love. There was even this guy who seemed to be turning into something more. You have friends who care about you more than anything and then he came back –“

Y/N laughed. “Friends who care about me more than anything?” she put air quotes around the words. “Really? If that were true, I’d be in a car across the country with Kai right now. Or at least I’d have some closure after they allowed me to say goodbye this time. Oh wait – neither of you thought Kai and I deserved that! You always know best. Is that it?”

     “Please Y/N –“ he friend pleaded with him. “You have to understand why I did what I did.”

     “I understand. I understand you always saw Kai as a threat even though I know he never acted against you until you fired the first shot, wanting to leave him in 1994 when you sent Saint Damon back.” Y/N snapped, taking a step closer. “I understand that him stabbing you and leaving you there alone hurt like hell and I don’t blame you for wanting him to suffer. But what you went through is nothing compared to what he went through.”

     “Did you really just –“

     “Just listen to me and do something you should’ve done a long time ago. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine being born in this family where everyone has powers but you. Then discovering you are something special, something that happens so rarely in the coven and instead of your family accepting you for being different… labeling you as an abomination –”

     “Y/N –“

     “–over something you have no control whatsoever in the first place! Imagine your parents deciding you are not fit to be a leader because you are different. Imagine the people who are supposed to love you no matter what replacing you with another set of twins and isolating you. I would’ve snapped. Anyone would’ve and I am in no way excusing his actions, but I understand why he did what he did.” Y/N wiped a tear from her cheek, noticing a slight change in Bonnie’s eyes.  “Now imagine being sent in a magical prison by your own family, being forced to relive the same day over and over again. Spending 18 years completely alone. Not a few months. Two whole decades!” Y/N crossed her hands on her chest, feeling tears dropping to her arms. “How do you think he felt? No PTSD from the way he was being treated? For being abandoned? No nothing?!” Y/N shook her blinked fast, trying to stop the tears. Bonnie stared at her feet for a moment and looked up at her with the same defiance as ever. “None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t fired the first shot.”

     “He murdered his siblings! It was his punishment –“

     “Spare me. Okay? Damon has done worse and at the time, you thought he had killed a pregnant woman. Yet you sent him back?!” Y/N shrugged her shoulders in confusion. “You forgave Damon for nearly killing you. Forgave him for every stupid thing he has done to you. To all of our friends. Remember when he nearly killed Caroline? When his obsession with getting Katherine back resulted in Grams dying –“

“Stop–”

“ – and all the Tomb vampires being unleashed? And Kai? What about him? He knows he has made mistakes but he tried to make up for it. Bonnie, he nearly died to try and get you out of 1994! Meaning Liv almost died. Jo almost died. Every single Gemini almost died and he was willing to risk it just to get you back to your friends! I was there! Did he get a thank you? No. Then, when he tried to make it right again and help you and tweedle Dumber, you stabbed him in the back and left him alone. You left him alone!!!”

Y/N shouted, her scream colliding with a magic blast so hard all the windows and everything made of glass shattered around them in pieces. Her anger and every single emotion she felt was more than she could control this time. To find what your heart and soul has yearned for all your life, to lose it repeatedly, get it back by some spectacular miracle, and have it taken away by people who are your family? This betrayal hurt more than she could’ve fathomed.

     “I can’t stay here.” she whispered more than herself than to Bonnie, who was just getting up from the floor. “I won’t. There is nothing left for me. Not anymore.”

      “Where are you going?” her friend asked, watching Y/N run around her spall apartment; tossing clothes in a suitcase without even looking. “Talk to me.”

Y/N glared at her. “You know where.”

     “Do you really think running away to New Orleans will fix things?”

     “I’m not running away. I am leaving behind the people who left me behind on the most important decisions about my future. The Mikaelson’s might be dysfunctional but at least they stick together no matter what.”

Bonnie ran her fingers through her hair and reached in her pocket, pulling out the Ascendant. No part of her wanted to lose her friend after all the losses they had suffered.  “You saw good in him, and there might be still some good left if he is capable of carrying for you in any way.” she thought back to what Kai had told her a little before she had left him. “I um, I’m sorry for putting you into so much pain. I’d hate to lose the only family I have left –”

Y/N’s eyes widened at the sight at the Ascendant. “Is that –“

    “The Ascendant?” Bonnie waved it before her for a second. “Yes. You are right. You both are.” she said quietly. “You deserve to at least be able to say goodbye to him this time.”

Y/N’s lips twitched for a second at the thought of seeing him again. But how does one say goodbye to the person they love the most and then leave them behind to be stuck in a magical prison for all eternity? Alone? Even when she had said she just wants to say goodbye, a part of her knew she wasn’t being honest because deep down she knew – being trapped for all eternity with him would be less of a hell-ish experience for the both of them than living her life in the real world while he is there all alone. Saying ‘yes’, being sent there… it would be her only chance to get him back. But what if her friend was tricking her? What if… she could get him out on her own?

     “Thank you, Bonnie.” she gave her friend a small smile and raised her hand in the air, pulling the Ascendant towards her with magic. A second later she muttered ‘Motus’, making Bonnie’s body fly against the wall before she fell down on the ground unconscious. Her fingers wrapped around the Ascendant and she smiled to herself, hardly being able to believe the key to getting the love of her life back was literally in her hands. “I’m gonna get you back. I promise. However long it takes.”

A FEW YEARS LATER

Y/N took a shallow breath, her lips moving almost silently as she muttered the spell while she held the Ascendant with one hand and allowed drops of her blood to fall down on it from the other. Sage burned around her, candles lit all around the small bell tower at the church where she and one of her closest friends were using as a space to practice magic in the Quarter.

It had been almost a whole decade since she left Mystic Falls behind and even though when she had arrived in New Orleans, things hadn’t been exactly how she had thought they would be, this had been the best decision she has ever made. Walking into the compound that day, she had found the Mikaelson’s in crisis and her plans to ask Freya for help, had been put on hold for a while. Though helping her friends never stopped her from trying to get Kai back.

At first she had tried on her own, again and again. Failing every single time. Later on Freya had joined her, telling her what she had known about spells resembling the Prison World spell. Years went by, barely sleeping, barely eating while she used every drop of her power to get to him. Holding onto the moments they had shared – remembering his smile, his eyes in complete detail. Making sure to retain every single imagine in her mind and not let any of the memories they had shared slip away.

As the first decade ended, a part of her felt completely shattered.  There was no sense as to why she couldn’t go to the Prison World, why she and her best friend Freya Mikaelson couldn’t find their way in despite their tireless efforts. Her blood was supposed to be enough for the spell to allow her to at least see him and get a message that she hasn’t forgotten even for a second about him or how she felt about him. But it seemed nothing worked the way it was supposed to. All those eclipses, comets… and nothing.

    “How long have you been at it this time?” Freya asked.

Y/N opened her eyes and looked at her friend, leaning against the wall. “About the same time you’ve been trying to get the Hollow out of your siblings. I just… I don’t understand –“ she glanced between her friend, who took a few steps towards her, and the Ascendant. “It’s supposed to work! I am a Bennett, sort of, but it should be enough for me to at least get a message to him. I–”

Freya took the Ascendant from her hands and left it on the table. “It’s not working because you are exhausting yourself. You need to rest, gather up your strength –“

   “I can’t!” she grabbed the Ascendant again. “Freya, I – I spent four years mourning him. Acting as if I were getting better, convincing everyone else but myself and when he came back to me and I finally felt whole again, I lost him all over again. I don’t even know if he is alive in there.”

   “He is.” her friend said reassuringly. “From what you told me, he was free from Hell before it got destroyed by your friends –“

   “They are not my friends.”

   “– and destroying the dimension shouldn’t have had any effects on him in the Prison World. He might be desiccated but other than that, he is alright. I feel it in my heart.” she smiled reassuringly. “I um, maybe we should ask Vincent for help.”

   “Vincent? You want us to ask Vincent for help about how to let out a vampire/witch hybrid out of a Prison World after he massacred his entire coven and tried to kill two little girls?”

Freya glanced at her shoes. “When you put it that way, it doesn’t sound like the best idea. But yes?”

Y/N rolled her eyes in frustration and sighed. “He will try and kill him – wait.” she studied her face. “All this time and you never suggested that. Why are you suggesting it now?”

   “I –“ Freya smiled nervously. “I spoke to Keelin. It’s been such a long while she I last saw her and actually could touch her, I just want to go be with her. Just for a couple of months. But I don’t want to leave you doing this alone and unprotected. New Orleans is not safe –”

Y/N’s lips curled up into a smile. “I won’t be doing this alone and I certainly wouldn’t be unprotected. I have Hayley and Hope is a phone call away. Maybe she has some wild idea about how I can get him back.”

   “Oh, Hope has wild ideas.” Freya laughed; Y/N looked at her confused. “She got suspended for helping one of the Crescent boys at the School turn into a hybrid.”

   “Yep, that would do the trick.” she laughed, her eyes widening a little. “So um, Hope is coming home?” Freya nodded; Y/N felt a spark of hope at the thought. “Maybe she overheard something or learnt something we haven’t figured out on our own –“

Freya sighed. “Y/N, I – Kai wouldn’t want you to spend your life trying to get him back. He’d want you to live it.”

    “This isn’t for me. It’s for him.” she sat at the stairs, hiding her face in her hands for a moment. “His family rejected him for being an abomination, for something he had no say about whatsoever. Sounds familiar?”

      “It does.”

      “You told me about your time with Dhalia. How you longed for a real family. He never had anyone until we met and all he ever wanted was a family too. He found that with me and I can’t abandon him. What he and I have is… something that time cannot erase. Nothing can.” she pulled out her necklace. There was only one thing on it – one of Kai’s rings, which he had given her all those years ago. As long you have this, I will always be with you. he had said. You will never lose me. I promise. “And a part of me is trapped there with him. I have to get him out. Even if it kills me –”

Freya sat next to her, putting her arm around her shoulder.  “There is nothing we wouldn’t do for the ones we love. But you need to rest, gather up your strength and tomorrow we try again. Also, I believe Hope would really want to see you.” she got up, holding out her hand. “Come on.”

    “I have some cleaning up to do here.” Y/N got up, starting to pick up her things. “I’ll catch up. Promise.”

Freya stopped at the exit, muttered an ‘okay’ and left her to pick up her stuff. Only going after her to meet up with Hope and Hayley wasn’t Y/N’s first intention. Day in, day out she had been doing everything in her power to get the love of her life back. Giving up just wasn’t in her blood, neither was waiting or patience and the constant thought of him being alone there, possibly dead, wouldn’t let her rest.

    “One more time.” she said quietly to herself, making another cut on her palm. “I can go see Hope afterwards –“

Blood dripped down the Ascendant and she started the spell allowing all her love for him to enhance her magic. Memories of the two of them together flooded her mind from all directions – his smile, his eyes; the way he always looked at her when they were alone and even when they weren’t. The feeling of his lips against hers, their bodies colliding… For a moment, she felt almost happy, then the world spun around her as she remembered how they had both been cheated out of their happy ending and she stumbled, falling on the ground.

Instinctively her hand reached towards her no doubt bleeding nose and that’s when she noticed it – the cool breeze, the street lights. She got up, took a few steps down the dark street and froze in place seeing the clock tower. Mystic Falls. Almost a decade away and she was back home, not exactly home home but close enough. Everything looked exactly the same as she had last seen it –

    “Oh my God – I did it.” she smiled to herself, feeling tears run down her cheeks. “I DID IT! I’m here –”

Y/N jumped up and down like a little kid, barely able to contain her happiness in that moment. Might’ve taken her a decade but she had done it and she was about to see him again. Kai, she smiled wider. Her footsteps echoed in the empty town as she ran down the street, and another and another quite literally running towards where she knew he’d be. Like her heart was pulling her towards him, his ring around her neck glowing brighter with every second. She wondered what he’d look like, if he had changed or not. Would he pull her into his arms and never let her go, or think she were a hallucination like the countless ones he told her he had during his time in Hell?

She turned down the street and stopped in her tracks, realizing she was standing in front of her house. Nearly a decade since the last time she had seen this place, she had almost forgotten what it looked like. The large windows with the light blue flower curtains, the lights gleaming from the inside and the figure walking around, pacing. She ran up the porch and went inside, stepping into the living room and instantly looked for him but he wasn’t there. His footsteps up the stairs echoed in the empty house and she fought the urge to go after him.

He had been all by himself for so long, it would be such a surprise for him to find her there. She could almost see the look on his face when he sees her waiting for him downstairs. Meanwhile she looked around her old house. Seeing Kai’s things there felt so right, like that’s what her life was meant to be and once again she felt her heart being ripped out of her chest at the thought how she had been so close before she had been denied all of this.

As she looked around, she couldn’t help but notice the papers covering her usually completely clear desk and the wooden box with an unlocked lock on it filled with more papers, each folded like a letter with her name written on it. All except one. Her lips curled up into a smile at the sight of Kai’s writing and her eyes widened a little seeing the date. Same date as the day in the real world, the ink still wet on the paper –

Y/N, I miss you.

It has been almost 10 years since I last saw you and just like every day since I got free from that bar Bon Bon had me chained up in, I’ve been trying to get back to you. Obviously, I am still here but I will never stop trying. Not until you are back in my arms. That is all I want; to hold you in my arms again, to tell you how much I love you and every little thing about you. Because I do. I love everything, starting with the way you crinkle your nose when you are about to tell a lie to the way you nervously run your fingers through your hair and look away when you feel anxious or nervous about something. I miss this. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts.

There is nothing more painful that I can imagine than being without you and now… I feel like I am back in Hell, only not Cade’s hellfire version but the real Hell. A world without you. This house, your house, is the closest thing to being with you I have. It’s the only place in this God forsaken town that feels like home. That’s why I chose it and moved in, like we talked so many times. I would love waking up next to you every day, and sometimes I think that’s exactly what happens. I can almost see you smile, feel you snuggle towards me… Hear you say my name.

You are the only thing keeping me from shutting it off or trying to kill myself again – I am not entirely sure I’d come back this time, if the rules are the same. You are not even here and you are still my anchor to humanity. How is this possible? Perhaps because you are everywhere in this house. And the single hope that one day, just one day I might find my way out of here and be reunited with my heart and feel whole again is enough. For now …

God, what wouldn’t I do to see you right now for real, not just as a hallucination. To know that you are okay and you are happy, living your life. But I know you well enough to know you, my little witch, are doing everything you can to get here and get me out.

Y/N smiled through tears.

Maybe one of us will succeed. Until then, I will keep writing those letters until I find a way to send them over to you. To let you know I am… okay. I’m alive. And I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you for a second and I will love you forever regardless if we get to be together again. I will love you for all of eternity, Y/N.

     “You remember this, don’t you?” she heard her own voice, followed by her laughter. “Come on, Kai. Just one more time. You know how much I love seeing you do this. Please?”

    “Argh, you and those puppy dog eyes.” Kai said. “No. No stop it.”

    “Please?” she smiled. “For me?”

Kai sighed. “You are such a child. I just… Come here.“ Both of them laughed on the small screen, falling on the ground a moment later. “Why am I still in love with you?”

Y/N tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips towards hers. “Because you and I were made for each other and you love it when I am being silly – “

     “I love you. Period.” he said in sync with video-him. “I will love you forever.”

Y/N wiped the tears from her cheeks, left the letter back in it’s place and took a few steps towards him unable to find her voice. There he was, walking down the stairs with his phone in his hands, smiling at the screen though his smile was a little different than the sunshine smile she was used seeing on his face. There was happiness in it but also sadness and the weight of a broken heart. He was wearing similar clothes he had when she had last seen him – grey jeans and a dark grey t-shirt and the way he moved when he moved down the stairs towards her. No one should look that good going down the stairs, she thought, feeling her heart stop. Seeing him again, being in the same room as him… for the first time in years she felt whole again.

All this time that had passed and even though he shouldn’t have aged, and technically he hadn’t, he looked older. His hair was messy, dark circles lurked under his eyes; his skin was paler than usual and his eyes? His eyes were red and puffy as if he had been crying, filled with so much sadness and pain, her heart broke. All she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around him, heal every battle scar on his soul/heart and never let him go.

    “Kai?”

Time seemed to stop around her. Barely a heartbeat passed before he took a step towards her and walked straight through her. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion and she turned around, trying to get his attention again when she noticed the blood dripping down from her nose and onto the carpet.  Instinctively her hand reached towards her nose and she wiped it as best as she could, trying to take a step towards him when she fell on the ground.

•  [ masterlist smut ‘17 ▪ | ▪ masterlist fluff ‘17 | ▪ masterlist smut ‘18 ] • ________________________________________

▪     Mistakes - Part II (angst) Kai comes over to Reader’s house with a very important question about their future, when things take an unexpected turn. 

▪     Better with You (angst/slight smut) Kai never does the merge and falls for Reader – his next victim.

▪     Beauty and the Beast - Part II - Part III Kai kidnaps Reader to use as a leverage against the MF gang. 

▪     No Idea Reader is Stefan/Damon’s little sister – the middle sibling – and they ask her to keep an eye on Kai for the day.

▪     Closer It’s Valentine’s Day. Kai and Reader are going to the Bitter Ball at Whitmore together, but Kai has a surprise about her and their evening takes a turn. (kind of continues the story from ‘No Idea’)

▪     Loca Reader and Kai are x-boyfriend/girlfriend, but they still care and love each other very very much. A few months pass and despite their break up they are still close and in the meantime Reader starts a new relationship.    |   (kind of) based on the song ‘Loca’ by Maite Perroni ft Cali & El Dandee.

▪    Treat You Better (kind of) based on the song ‘Treat You Better’ by Shawn Mendes /// continues the story from Loca.

▪   Always Be Together Kai is having trouble controlling his blood lust so he decides to keep his distance from Reader... though he can’t stay away from her for long.

▪   Always (T)here Reader is feeling down and ends up shutting out Kai, her boyfriend, but he finds a way to get back to her.

▪   Between You and Me Mystic Falls is under attack; Kai and Reader are keeping a secret from her friends, though secrets have a way of coming out.

▪   Flipped Late at night Kai catches his girl in the kitchen and she shares something with him that flips his entire world.

▪   To Be Human based on the song ‘To be Human’ by Sia.

▪  Delicate One night, after Kai and the guys from the MF gang had been at the club where Reader works as a stripper, Kai comes to her rescue.

▪  Only You Kai has a thing for Reader; they spend a night together after a party but later on something Reader sees makes her think Kai is still hung up on Bonnie.

▪ A Little Too Much Reader has an anxiety/panic attack and Kai helps her through it.

▪ Battle Scars - Part II - (to be continued) Almost a decade into the future after Kai is left in a new Prison World, Reader is trying to get him back to the real world with the help of some of the most powerful witches history has ever known.

LOCA/CRAZY

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 3 499    |  reading time: 13 minutes warning: possible triggers / mentions of violence summary: Reader and Kai are x-boyfriend/girlfriend, but they still care and love each other very very much. A few months pass and despite their break up they are still close and in the meantime Reader starts a new relationship.    |   (kind of) based on the song ‘Loca’ by Maite Perroni ft Cali & El Dandee note: this is the imagine i was telling you about; hope you like it and… there is an idea for a second chapter, only it might be a bit before i post it – there is this roughly 8k reader!dom smut i’m working on…have to finish it first. 😈 *gif by me ________________________________________

Kai hid in the shadows, watching her walk home. Almost five months since their break up and even though she had someone else in her life, he kept watching over her even without her knowledge. Though these past few weeks he could tell something was off about her her, that’s how well he knew her. All the little things no one would notice – he did. Like how she jumped up when someone touched her, the way sadness and pain flashed in her eyes even though she put on the best performance of her life trying to hide it. He could tell the difference between the way she smiled when it was just the two of them and the way she smiled around her friends and her new boyfriend… and knew her smile during the last one as fake as they come. He missed seeing her eyes light up when she laughed, hearing her laugh and making jokes. Neither of those things seemed to happen and the only times she even remotely approached her old self was when it was just the two of them.

Y/N stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, glanced around and then up at the sky before running her fingers through her hair and continuing on her way. A few steps ahead she turned around the corner and Kai whooshed himself towards her, not wanting to leave her out of his sight for a second. They were broken up and he cared about her more than he ever did. More importantly, he wanted her back but didn’t know how to tell her or if even after him breaking up with her, she’d even want him back. Sure, they were friends and that was more than he could’ve hoped for knowing how after a break up people usually just drift apart, but he wanted it all. He wanted things to go back to the way they were when he could hold her hand, cuddle with her and not have to feel guilty about it because there was someone else in her life. He wanted to be with her the way they used to be – to feel her snuggle closer to him while they slept, to be able to wake up next to her… not on a mat next to her bed because he didn’t want to risk himself cross a line.

Her hand reached inside her bag, pulling out the keys as she climbed up the stairs to her porch but just as she was about to unlock the door, her hand stopped hovering over the key in the lock.

    “You don’t have to hide in the shadows if you are going to walk me home every night.” she said quietly. “You can walk me home, side by side… not trailing me ten steps behind.”

   “It’s actually five. Ten is way too far, Speedy.” he said, standing right behind her. “I didn’t want your b-boyfriend or friends to see me. I can’t tell who would be more upset –”

Y/N’s lips curled up, her head turning to the side. “You have magic. Cloak yourself and no one would ever know if you are that worried.”

    “Duhh –“ he laughed for a second. “Why are you walking home alone at night? Mystic Falls isn’t a safe place, you know. There are at least 5 dangerous heretics running around –“

    “And the most dangerous one is trailing me.” she said quietly, feeling his breath on her neck. Instantly her heart rate increased ten times. “Should I run away screaming right now or would you like to come in for a bit?”

    “Only if there are pork rinds.” a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Or maybe chocolate cupcakes?”

    “No.” she said quietly, “But we can make some. If you want.”

Kai spun her around and pushed her up against the door, his hand braced next to her head. There it was again – the way she flinched for a split second when his hand touched the door. “Only if you wear an apron.”

    “I always wear –“

   “Just an apron.” he almost whispered, his eyes darting between his lips and her eyes. Y/N swallowed, opening and closing her mouth for a second. His fingertips brushed against her cheek, gently trailing her lips later on. “There I go again, don’t I? I keep forgetting we –“

    “Makes two of us.” she said quietly, her hand reaching behind her back to open the door. “C-come on in.”

Kai took a slight step back, watching her go in, and followed her inside. To say that they had a history would be an understatement. Despite their break up and her trying to move on with someone new, for her it was still only Kai. Going to sleep every night, waking up in the morning… the thought of him was always there and sometimes so was he. Only no matter how many close they got to kissing and sleeping in the same bed, ever since she started dating her new boyfriend, neither of them dared cross the line. Some days it was like neither of them had gotten the memo they had broken up and Kai kept acting like the over protective boyfriend he no longer was. A part of her felt guilty about it, the other rejoiced every single time because her heart and soul still recognized Kai ass someone who’d keep her safe and protect her no matter what. Her entire self recognized him as her other half. And he was, he was always going to be. That’s how your first love works – you never forget or truly move on, no matter how it ended.

   “Why were you crying at the Grill?” he asked, watching her take off her jacket. “Did something happen?”

Something flashed in her eyes for a second and he knew the smile on her face a moment later was fake. “What? No, I – I don’t cry in public. There was something in my eye… and John was… running a little late.”

    “Seriously?” he studied her face. “That’s what you are going with? I was there –“

    “Of course you were.” she smiled to herself. “Where else would you be?“

    “You weren’t picking up your phone. I was worried and with a good reason. Y/N, he is – he never even kissed you hello. What kind of a boyfriend doesn’t kiss his girl ‘hello’?” he glanced at his shoes as if the answer would magically pop up there. If only there was another answer, he thought, taking a step closer. Keeping things a secret from her was never easy, not only that but he hated keeping things from her because she never kept anything from him. Though something told him she already knew what he was about to say. “And then when he touched you, you nearly jumped up to the ceiling.”

    “H-he just took me by surprise that’s all.” she hugged her body, glancing everywhere but at him while she played with the necklace he had given her for their first month-aversary. It seemed no matter what, she held onto it. “I was thinking about someon—something.”

    “You know, don’t you?” he said quietly, taking a step closer. “You know he is cheating on you. I can see it in your eyes. He doesn’t love you and he never will. Why haven’t you broken up with him yet?”

    “It’s – it’s complicated.”

    “No, its not.” he stated, brushing his palm against her cheek. “This is hurting you, I can see it. Why are you pretending it’s not happening?”

    “I’m not.”

    “Y/N –“ he said serious, “We weren’t just each other’s firsts. I am not just your ex, I am your best friend and I know there is no such thing as ‘complicated’ for you. You can handle anything, deal with anything. You never shy away from sharing your opinion and you always do the right thing. You… you are the strongest person I know –” he said softly, watching her lips curl up a little. A long moment passed before he realized there was something else, something he somehow had missed. “What aren’t you telling me? Why – why are you so jumpy?”

Y/N blinked fast a couple of times. “Everything is fine. I um –“

    “I know you well enough to know you are lying without listening to your heartbeat. Tell me.”

    “There is nothing to tell.” she felt his thumb wipe away a tear from her cheek. Instantly she pulled away before another tear rolled down and he noticed something.   “Make yourself at home. I’ll go change –“

Y/N walked right past him and ran up the stairs to her bedroom so fast if he didn’t knew otherwise, he’d assume she was a vampire. He stared after her, took off his jacket, left it on the couch. Running away from him or a conversation was a new thing with her too and he couldn’t understand the reason why. Every time they even looked at each other her heart would skip more than one beat right before starting to race faster than a Formula 1 champion’s car. Then all of the sudden she’d jump off the couch or hop off her chair in the kitchen to go somewhere and come back as if nothing had happened…

     “Ohkay. I’ll be here... waiting" he called out..

Looking around the room he could still see the dent she had made when she had thrown that statue at his head during one of their fights. His lips curled up into a small smile while his fingertips traced the almost Y shaped mark on the wall. He loved when they fought, the fire burning in her eyes which wasn’t being fueled by anger but desire for him. He loved it even more like when she started punching in his chest, he grips her wrists and kisses her until she melts completely in his arms and then they get lost into each other afterwards. He missed those moments and loved her so much it physically hurt to be away from her sometimes. What wouldn’t he give to turn back time and fix what he had done. When they had broken up it had been because he had wanted to protect her from himself, thinking one day without realizing he’d lose his temper and hurt her. At the time it had made more sense to him to let her go for her own good, but then again ‘for her own good’ he kept finding an excuse to be around her. And she kept letting him. Five months had passed since that night and what they had seemed to only get stronger…

     “How could I have been so stupid to let you go?” he said quietly, glancing at his shoes and then at the stairs. As if being pulled like a magnet towards her he climbed up the stairs, his soft steps barely audible as he got closer to her bedroom noticing the light seeping from the open ajar door. He stopped right outside, hesitating for a moment before he took a peek even though he knew he shouldn’t. There she was, her locks falling around her shoulders while she stared at her reflection in the mirror, pulling her shirt up a little to look at something. Something purple/blueish caught his attention and he pushed the door fully open . “What’s that? Are those bruises?!”

Y/N pulled her shirt down, tucked in her necklace and took a step away from him. “What?”

Kai tilted his head and sighed, taking a step towards her. Y/N backed away from him but that didn’t stop him from taking another step closer without taking his eyes off hers for a moment. Her gaze kept drifting around the room looking for a way out and she dashed right under his arm only to have him grab her by the waist a moment later. A quiet groan of pain escaped her lips and she pushed his hands away from her.

    “Y/N –“

    “C-chocolate cupcakes? Th-that’s what we are making right?” she forced a smile, heading towards the door which magically closed right under her nose. “Kai –“

   “No, no. Don’t Kai me.” he took a step towards her and lifted her shirt up. His gaze drifted from her stomach to her abdomen and towards her eyes. “What’s this?”

   “Nothing. I… went out with the bike the other day.” she shook her head, trying to open the door. “A tree stood in my way.”

   “A tree stood in your way?” he said in disbelief. “So tell me, how haven’t I seen you out with your bike since August?”

    “I went out at night—“ she started knowing fully well her lies weren’t going anywhere. Not with him anyways. A blink of an eye later he had her hands pinned over her head and his fingertips brushed up her skin, pulling her t-shirt up. Y/N winced a little feeling even the slightest pressure applied onto the sore spot. “Don’t—“

Kai’s eyes met with hers, or at least tried to. Her eyes kept drifting everywhere but he didn’t want to force her to look at him. “S-sorry, I –“ he let go, taking a slight step back. “You and I have had some quite dangerous falls off the bed, slams against the walls, the stairs while –”

    “I haven’t slept with him–” she said quietly. “—if that’s what you are thinking.”

A weight lifted off Kai’s chest he didn’t even knew was there. Though something else weighted down on him even more. If those weren’t that kind of bruises, then how had they appeared on her body and how hadn’t he noticed them before. Why would she hide them? “You are going to tell me what he did right now, or I am going to rip his head off without asking questions.”

Y/N wiped her nose with the back of her hand, looking nervously around the room. Tears threatened to start falling down her cheeks at any moment and as much as she wanted to keep it together, it just wasn’t possible. This wasn’t just anyone standing before her. This was Kai, the first boy she had ever liked, the first boy her lips had ever kissed… They were friends before being lovers and their friendship was stronger than anyone had expected because despite their break up, they remained just as close. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, just like there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. “He didn’t mean to –“

   “Didn’t mean to what?”

   “He – w-we were having a disagreement about something. I tried to get away. H-he slapped me and I –“ she closed her eyes. “I – I fell down the stairs.”

   “You mean he pushed you?!” Kai said angrily, taking a step away from her. “Was that the only time?” he insisted. Y/N fell silent, a tear rolling down her cheek. He instinctively reached to wipe away the tear and that’s when he noticed it – the purple/blue-ish color of her skin under her make up. It was already faded but still there. He knew her so well, knew something was wrong but how hadn’t he figured out what was really happening sooner? “Y/N, no. Cheating on you is one thing but this? No. No, you two are done.”

Y/N stared at him in disbelief. “Excuse me? You and I are best friends but you don’t to get to make that choice again without asking me how I feel first!”

   “Y-you love him? Is that why you –“

   “I don’t know what I feel! And neither does he, if you ask me. He’s still new at the whole ‘dating’ thing –“

    “I was new at the whole emotion’s thing. You made me feel everything for the first time. You made me fall in love with you starting the day we met…” his eyes met with his. “I know I broke your heart, but I never laid a finger on you. I wouldn’t let a hair fall out of your head –“

     “Kai, this is really hard –“

     “I know it is.” he brushed his thumb against her cheek. “Just t-tell me what I can do to fix this. Let me fix this… us –“

     “He said he’ll never do that again. Th-that he’ll change –“

     “People don’t change.” he muttered, noticing her curious look. “No, no. Him and I – we are nothing alike.”

     “Never said you were. And… I am as crazy about you as I was when we were together.” she watched him smile, knowing by the look in his eyes he felt the exact same way. “What you and I have is so much more than what he and I could ever have. And if I could go back I— “she sighed, knowing his smile would fade just as quickly in a few moments.  “He um… he is planning a weekend getaway as an apology. His family has a cabin –“

     “No.”

     “Kai –“

     “No. You are not going.” he said serious, standing right before her. “Don’t look at me with those eyes. They don’t work on me when it comes to your safety. Why do you think I let you go in the first place? It’s because I didn’t want to risk hurting you in any way –”

Her lips curled up into a faint smile as she got up and wrapped her arms around him. “You and your weird logic. Breaking my heart so you don’t hurt me. I should want you as far away from me as possible.Hate you even –”

Kai’s arms wrapped around her, his lips placed a soft kiss on her forehead before resting his chin on her forehead. “Why don’t you?  Hate me, I mean. I hurt you… and you are still here in – in my arms. Doesn’t make sense.”

Y/N pulled away from, his fingertips brushed against her cheek and gently tucked in a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Love like theirs didn’t just die because they weren’t together. If something, the distance seemed to make it even stronger.  “That’s just the thing. I care and love you so much that I’d let you  rip my heart out, stomp on it; shatter it and me to pieces and… I will still love you. I’ll love you and that won’t ever change no matter what happens because you… you are seared on my heart forever.”

     “Y-you still love me?” 

     “I never stopped. Not even for a second.” she gazed into his eyes for a long moment and took a shallow breath. “Now… we are making you special chocolate cupcakes right?” she took a step towards the door but he gripped her wrist.  “Wha—“ she started to say when he grabbed her, spun her around and backed her against the bed until both of them fell on the mattress. Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling up his shirt while his lips almost touched the skin on her neck and his breath tickled her skin. “Kai, no. We can’t –“

Kai’s hand slid between their bodies but instead of going down south, it slid up under her shirt all the while his forehead rested on hers, their gazes locked on each other. “You can try and stop me from healing your heart after I broke it; try and stop me from kissing you… But you can’t stop me from healing those bruises.”

  “This is Hell.” she whispered, feeling a familiar warmth spread through her body.

    “What?” he asked confused. “W-what’s Hell?”

    “You.” she said quietly. “Us… being here like that and not being here like that. I just – I can’t.” she pushed him off her. Kai gripped her wrist. “Kai –“

   “I still care about you.” he said quietly. “Y/N, I am still in love with you and now that I know you still are still in love with me I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back. I want this. I want you. I need you in my life. I want to fall asleep by your side and wake up next to you for the rest of eternity… or at least Damon rips my heart out for linking Elena to Bonnie.”

   “I want that too –“ she said quietly. “—the being with you part, not the other one. I’d die if that happens but –“

   “But what?” he pulled her onto his lap. “Are you afraid he’d hurt you if you try to break up with him? Is that it?” Y/N stayed silent. “You have me – a dangerous bulletproof vampire/witch hybrid. I’d never let him lay a finger on you ever again. I’ll kill him before I let this happen.”

Y/N’s lips curled up into a slight smile. “I’d never ask you to do that.”

   “I know.” he said quietly, his eyes drifting between her eyes and her lips. “Doesn’t mean I won’t.  Just promise me, you won’t go on that trip.”

   “I promise.”

TREAT YOU BETTER

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 6 808 / reading time: 25 minutes warnings: possible triggers, mentions of violence and abuse, characters’ death… summary: (kind of) based on the song ‘Treat You Better’ by Shawn Mendes /// continues the story from LOCA…  |  note: i say ‘kind of’ cuz i am not really sure what happened in the end while writing, but the song had its influence on the story. and if something like that happens in real life to you – please don’t stay silent. there are people who are going to help, don’t be afraid to ask for help. KEEP READING AFTER THE CUT and let me know what you thought after reading it. good or bad – i wanna hear it and feedback is always appreciated. ☺*gif by me ________________________________________

Her hand swung at him just as he ducked and spun her around so her back rested against his chest, his hands wrapped around her tightly for a moment as they caught their breath before he let go off her. Y/N took a step back, pushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand before she faced him again. His eyes sparkled like she had never seen them before and even though he hadn’t said a word to her but just had motioned with his hand she knew exactly what he meant – he was telling her to have another go at him. Her hand, balled into a fist flew at him landing just in his palm while she raised her leg and tried to kick him only to have him slam her against the ground.     “Cheater.” she muttered, starring at him as he took a step towards her with his hands on his waist and a goofy grin on his face. He started to say something when she stretched her leg and tripped him, making him to fall right next to her. In a flash she flipped herself back on her feet and started laughing. “Whoops…” Kai tossed her a bottle with water and flipped himself back on his feet. “Oh and I am the cheater?” he laughed, watching a couple of sweat drops go down her stomach. “What about you?”     “Always do what the other doesn’t expect right?” she took a large sip from her water, almost emptying the entire bottle. She tossed the semi empty bottle on the ground and assumed position – her hands before her body, ready to deflect and/or throw a punch. “Let’s go again –“     “No.” his fingers wrapped around her wrists. “We agreed I’d train you so you can defend yourself just in case. Not that I’d break you… or make you so sweaty and hot looking as if we had um –“ he rubbed his nose and cleared his throat. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?”     “I’m… amazing.” she laughed. Kai muttered a ‘yeah?’ “I don’t think I’ve ever been better actually. Though I am a little bruised, sore… and kinda hungry.” Kai laughed, bent over to get her backpack and his things, gathering them all in a flash. “Race you to the house?”     “No vampire privileges?”     “None, boss.” he laughed. “Catch me if you can –“ he winked at her and ran in the direction of the boarding house.

Her hands braced against the tree as she came to a stop. It was almost completely dark, the full moon lighting her way and if it wasn’t for the piled up snow around her she probably wouldn’t have seen a thing in the woods. Temperatures must’ve dropped below 0C but she didn’t feel anything. Not the cold, not her feelings, nor the pain she should’ve felt in her legs from the running through the snow. Why hadn’t she listened to him? Why had she decided to give her boyfriend one more chance, choosing to believe the best instead of preparing herself for what was going to happen?

To say things hadn’t worked out how she had expected would’ve been an understatement. Tommy, her boyfriend, hadn’t hurt her, not directly anyways but what he had said only an hour ago right before she had stormed out of his family’s cabin echoed in her mind so loud she felt her eyes starting to sting with tears. Or perhaps she was finally starting to feel the cold around her and Jack Frost nipping at her nose…and cheeks. What a fool she had been to think things would be different this time… that maybe this trip was a way for them to save what they had or at least end it on a good note. Now all she wanted was to go home, run into her best friends’ arms and maybe, just maybe be able to breathe again.

For a moment she pulled out the necklace Kai had given her, holding it in her palm as her fingers wrapped around it and she could almost feel him there with her. Her lips curled up a little seeing his initials engraved on the back side, almost glowing in the darkness. HOO, the sound made her jump up. Y/N looked around noticing an owl not too far away from her, watching her with curious eyes as if expecting her to throw something or attack in a way. Instead all she did was tuck in her necklace safely, wrap her hands around herself instinctively rubbing them up and down her body in an attempt to warm up as much as she could. Cold north wind blew from nowhere making the trees sway lightly and her cheeks feel like they were burning. Y/N wished she could call him. Surely he’d find a way to locate her, her best friend was a heretic after all, but in her hurry to get away from her abusive cheating and now x-boyfriend, she had forgotten her phone.

Y/N stared after Kai for a moment, laughed under her breath and chased after him. Almost two weeks had passed since the night her best friend had found out what had really been going on and now he was rarely away from her; always guarding her and keeping her safe.  He didn’t care what her friends or her boyfriend might say and every time Tommy was around, Y/N could literally feel the air around her thicken and Kai tense while he tried hard not to strangle him. Tommy’s surprise apology trip had gotten delayed due to his football games schedule – no way the captain would ditch the team, and there really weren’t any complaints from her. In fact she felt more than relieved the trip had been postponed and hopefully he’d forget about it and she wouldn’t have to go. On the other hand lately her boyfriend had been sweeter, kinder, and the “accidents” where he lost his temper had almost disappeared. Almost…    “Gotcha—“ she tackled him on the ground, falling on top of him.  “S-sorry. I need to learn how to stop without taking everyone down with me –” Kai rolled on top of her. “Speedy.” he teased her, gazing longingly into her eyes for a moment before getting up and offering her a hand to help her up. “So um, can I – can I ask you something?” Y/N patted the dried leafs from her butt and looked at him. “No. You as my best friend cannot ask me anything. That is not allowed.” she said serious, her lips curling into a grin a moment later. “Since when do you ask permission to ask me things?”    “Since I need a completely honest answer.”    “I’m always honest with you… except when I didn’t tell you about what had happened –“    “Are we going to get back together?” he interrupted her. “N-not right now, obviously but after… if – d-do you – I –“ he took a step towards her until their bodies almost touched. “This is killing me. Watching you with him is killing me. Not only because he can do what I can’t but because he is not – he is not right for you. You deserve someone who can make you happy… not someone who fills your eyes with tears. Why –” he shrugged his shoulders lightly. “– why are you still with him when you should be with me instead? You deserve someone who treats you better, someone who will treat you like a gentleman. Every girl deserves that and… I know I let you down once, but I will never do that again and I know you feel like you have to do this alone, but you don’t. You have me and you will always have me. I just… I want to wake up with you. I want to give you everything you want and deserve –”     “You have to know –“ she put her hand over his heart, feeling his heartbeat. “—that no matter what happens it’s always going to be you and me. You have a permanent place in my heart not just as my best friend. You are the person with whom even in a thousand years I will want to wake up every morning, to feel your lips on mine –“ she smiled, feeling him exhale in relief. His palm brushed against her cheek, making her lean into it and he slowly leaned towards her before his hand slid down from her shoulder to her fingers, holding it just for a moment. “Hell… absolute Hell.”    “Tell me about it.” he whispered. “One of those times I won’t be able to stop myself –“ he pursued his lips and took a step away from her. “Come on, have you decided what you want for lunch?”    “I don’t know. Surprise me –“ Y/N took a step towards the house with Kai by her side and he put his hand around her shoulders, his touch quite literally sending sparks all over her body. She looked up at him for a few seconds, before her gaze drifted towards the house and something caught her attention going down the visible part of the road. Almost instantly she stopped in her tracks.    “Are you okay?” he asked worried. “I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have –“    “No, no –“ she swallowed. “He is not supposed to be here. He – he has practice –“ A couple more minutes passed, or maybe it was hours, Y/N wasn’t sure, before she caught a glimpse of the road ahead. Car lights illuminated the road for a couple moments and then they were gone, though that was more than enough to give her strength to walk faster. Her body felt like a popsicle, her lips were almost frozen together and her feet were so cold she could barely feel them let alone will them to run. Taking a step further, she slipped and fell downhill stopping right after her head went smack right into a tree.

Weakly she got up and braced her hand against the stump, ignoring the throbbing pain in her forehead and the warm liquid trickling down her temples. A couple more steps. You can do it. she told herself and pushed herself off the tree instantly feeling dizzier than ever. Her hand shot for her head and she gulped seeing the blood on her glove. Ever since she had been little blood had had the ability to make her faint on the spot; the color, the light metallic scent most humans couldn’t pick up were enough to make her squeamish –   No, she took a deep breath from the cold air. No, don’t faint. Not now.

A couple hundred meters ahead another car’s headlights illuminated the road. Y/N swallowed hard, taking in a breath from the cold air in an attempt to clear her head and made her way towards the road, hopping on the asphalt a few moments later. She waved her hands at the driver, hoping they’d stop and sure enough, not more than 5 meters away from her the car came to a halt, the driver’s door opened and a tall figure stepped out.

    “Please help me –“ she said as loud as she could, taking a step towards the figure. “I need to –“ her hand shot for her head, a wave of nausea coming over her. “I need to call my best fri—“ she started to fall because she slipped, or maybe it was because her limps were so frozen, she wasn’t sure. What she was sure of was that someone caught her, but she couldn’t see who. Someone’s warm fingers brushed against here cheek… and next moment everything went dark.

MISTAKES               – PART II

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 4 567 summary: continues the story from part I … * gif by me _________________________________________

Kai sat by her bedroom door all night, listening in to what was happening inside. Every time he heard her sob his heart broke all over again and he wanted so desperately to make it right; to wrap his arms around her, comfort her and see her smile… He was willing to do just about anything to make that happen. Though something troubled him very much – what she had said earlier about how he had apologized about everything but the thing she was upset about. As much as he tried to figure it out, the only thing that popped in his mind was linking Elena and Bonnie together, but that didn’t seem right. If it was about her friends, she would’ve told him which meant he had hurt her on a more personal level.

Around 3AM, after he was sure she was asleep, he flicked his wrist and slipped inside her bedroom. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to see inside – maybe broken picture frames or tossed clothes everywhere. What he saw however was completely different. Y/N had curled up on the bed hugging something and even in the darkness he could see her eyes were reddish and puffy. As he took a step towards her, he couldn’t help but smile for a second. His girl was hugging his sweatshirt, holding onto it as if her life depended on it.

A sigh left his lips and he leaned over her, gently brushing his fingers against her cheek. Instantly her heartbeat changed and his lips curled into a smile. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I ruined everything and I will never forgive myself for hurting you like this. But I will make it right. I promise”

_________________________________________

Sunrays seeping through the curtains woke her up. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and for one blissful second she forgot everything that had happened the day before. She forgot how it had taken a second for one of her biggest dreams about her future to come crumbling down; about the tears she had shed, how her heart had been broken and her life had turned upside down in a blink of a eye… and then it all came rushing back, hitting her like a speeding truck. Her heart sank so low it felt as if it had gone through the mattress and the floor all the way to the basement. Her eyes quickly filled with tears but also, she couldn’t help but smile for a second… Because, yes, Kai had majorly screwed up and that hour she had thought he was gone had felt as if someone had thrown her in the deepest pits of Hell… but he was alive. He wasn’t gone. She hadn’t lost him even though she had lost something else and the emptiness in her heart only seemed to grow in that moment.

Y/N pushed off her blanket, not remembering when she had covered herself with it, and sat in her bed. Her feet found their way in her panda slippers while she tucked in Kai’s sweatshirt under her pillow before getting up and pulling a new set of clothes to change in. Not having him with her in the night had been so painful only thing that had helped her calm down and fall asleep had been hugging his shirt. Surely it would’ve been easier to open the door and let him inside because there was no doubt in her mind he had spent the night there. But no. Not until he realises what he had done.

When she opened the door, Kai was standing there just about to knock by the looks of it. His eyes were red and puffy with dark circles under them as if he hadn’t slept at all and she couldn’t help but notice he looked as broken as she felt. For a split second their eyes met she almost jumped into his arms.

   “Morning.” he said quietly, not taking his eyes off hers. “I was just about t-to knock. Can we talk? Please, I need you to listen to me. You always listen to me and try to understand why I’ve done what I’ve done. Plea–”

  “Talk.”

Y/N pushed her way past him and headed down the stairs towards the kitchen with him on her tail. They made their way to the living room and she stopped almost immediately. He had made breakfast or more likely a small feast prepared for her, though the last thing she felt like doing was eating. Y/N wasn’t sure she even wanted to be awake in that moment. Being conscious hurt a lot more than the dream world her sub-conscience had created for her last night. For a second she glanced at him, wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand and without a word sat on the couch and when Kai sat next to her, she scooted away from him. A sigh left his lips and he tried to touch her hand but she pulled away.

   “I got you something.” he pulled out a small paper bag. “Your phone was broken so I got you a new one. And since your memory card was intact, I took the liberty of putting it in.” he passed her the bag but she refused to take it and in the end, he left it on the couch between them. “I shouldn’t have lied to you. I should’ve been honest and tell you I was going to the wedding. That I was planning on using magic to create an illusion spell and trick everyone into thinking I was dead so we can leave. Y/N, you have to know, I never meant to hurt you in any way. I was trying to protect you –”

   “And where did that get you?”

   “Not where I wanted to.” he muttered. Y/N scoffed and started to get up when he gripped her wrist and pulled her back to the couch. “I shouldn’t have let Lilly Salvatore talk me into linking Elena and Bonnie either.”

   “Wait. That’s what happened? It was her idea?”

Kai nodded. “I can’t undo the spell now. My death made it permanent and I know you are upset about it… but somehow, I don’t think that’s the think you are upset with me about. But I am still very sorry.”

   “You are right. It’s not.” she held her voice firm, barely able to keep it from breaking. “Is that it?”

   “I um – there is something else. “ he swallowed hard. “Tyler bit me… and I could’ve died all over again but I um, I can heal myself … siphoning the magic away. I should’ve told you that last night and I am really sorry and wait – where are you going?”

   “College.“ Y/N took a cup with coffee and made her way up the stairs. Secrets… lies… it was all too much for her in that moment and being around him after everything.

   “It’s spring break.” he got up after her. “What would you be doing there now?”

   “Dropping out.” she stopped in the middle before turning towards him. “Kai, when I get here –” she took a short breath, nervously running her fingers through her hair. “—I want you gone. I need some time alone to figure things out and you being here is not helping.”

   “You are breaking up with me?” he climbed up the stairs two at a time until he was standing barely a few inches from her. “But—you love me. You s-said –” he sighed, longing gazing into her eyes. “I don’t understand. Y/N, please, don’t do this. Without you there wouldn’t be a reason for me to go on.”

   “Kai –”

   “I love you. I love you more than you can even imagine. More than I can understand or put into words.” he pleaded. “I’ll do anything just –“

   “I don’t want you here when I come back.” she blinked back tears, trying hard to keep her voice firm. “I need time –”

   “What does that mean?”

Y/N put her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it for a moment before awkwardly pulling away. “It means I need time to think. A day, or a week. I’ll call you. Until then – keep your distance.” she climbed to the top and stopped, glancing at him. “Don’t leave town without me, please.”

   “I won’t.” he called after her. “But you shouldn’t drop out of college. It’s a rash decision. You are upset and you are not thinking clearly –”

   “Stop telling me what to do!” she snapped. “You don’t get a say anymore.”

   “I only want what’s best for you!”

   “Really?” she snapped. “So that’s why you lied and got someone else beheaded to make sure everything is perfect for your illusion spell. Who was that by the way? Another innocent that got hurt in your ‘protecting my girl’ plan?”

    “Who’s to say he didn’t had it coming?” he blurted out without thinking.

Y/N shook her head, placing her hand on her forehead for a moment. “I don’t think you understand how bad you’ve gotten. You are acting like the old you aga –”

   “What do you care!!?!” he snapped back. “You just broke up with me. I am not your problem anymore.”

   “Kai –” she started, watching him walk down the stairs.

Kai grabbed his jacket from the clothes rack and put his hand on the doorknob and took a breath. “I thought you were the one who got me. The only one who truly loved or gave a damn about me, I guess I was wrong. –” he shook his head and opened the door, vanishing from sight a few seconds later.

Y/N sat at the top of the stairs, leaving her coffee cup next to her and dropped her head in her hands. A couple tears escaped her eyes but she didn’t care enough to wipe them away. “But I do love you –” she whispered starring at the open door. “– more than anything.”

TWO WEEKS LATER 

Y/N opened her eyes and pushed the blanket off her head, slipped her feet into her panda slippers and headed downstairs to make herself some coffee and something to eat… not that she was hungry. Her appetite had caught an air plane and went to a happier place the past couple of days. As much as it pained her to admit it – Kai had been right about her dropping out that day. In a way she would’ve done it anyways because leaving with him would’ve meant starting anew… but now she wasn’t sure what was going to happen between her and the man of her dreams nor what she should do. No one ever warned her that falling in love, being in love with someone would be both champagne and rainbows but also hurt like Hell. Like literal Hell. However, spending so many days away from Kai had helped her calm down a little and see things a little clearer. He really was keeping his distance like she had asked him to, which in truth bothered her and made her stomach tie to a nervous knot. Either he was respecting her wishes or… he had left town without her, breaking his promise.

Early morning sun lit up the kitchen when she got downstairs. For a moment she stopped at the door, bracing herself against the door frame. Her eyes fluttered closed and she could almost feel his breath on her neck, how his hands slid around her waist holding her towards him. But she knew it was all in her head, a trick of her imagination to help her cope with pushing away the person she loved the most. Y/N sighed, ran her fingers through her hair and started on the pot with coffee and breakfast whisking while blankly starring at what she was doing. Her thoughts and emotions were running wild and all she wanted was to call him, to hear his voice … to see him and his gorgeous ocean blue eyes she loved getting lost in. But every time she was about to tap the icon with his name on her phone her mind went blank. Every second away from him hurt more than the last, if that was even possible and she wondered if maybe she had made a mistake that night and the morning after. They could’ve left town, dealt with things somewhere else… together, not alone. Instead the heartbreak kept going on and on just like her actions in the kitchen and before she realized it, there was enough food for at least a dozen people prepared – waffles, pancakes and even a batch with cupcakes.

Y/N poured herself a large cup with coffee and leaned against the counter when the doorbell rang. Almost running towards the door, trying hard not to spill her cup, she made her way through the living room feeling a spark of hope that maybe just maybe that was Kai. That he had put the pieces together or had broken to pieces just like her, realising they can’t be apart. Though when the door swung open her hopes died just as fast as they had been born.

   “Caroline? What are you doing here?” she said when her friend tackled her with a hug. “Wow easy. You are spilling my coffee.”

   “Sorry.” smiled her friend apologetically and took a couple of steps inside, heading straight into the living room. That’s when Y/N noticed the dozen paper shopping bags. “You’ve been stuck in this house for two weeks. I came to see how you are – and my guess is hungry which is perfect because you look like a ghost, as if you might dissolve into atoms at any moment. How long haven’t you eaten?”

   “I’m just not hungry.  I’m stressed, broken, wrecked… my future slipped through my fingers.” she paused, glancing out the window. “I might stop at the soup kitchen later. Do some good for others. What’s with the bags?”

   “Damon is really sorry for what he did.”

   “I’m sure he is.” Y/N took a sip of coffee, glancing at Kai’s favorite spot on the comfy chair. “I’m sure Kai is… would be too, if he was here.”

Caroline placed the bags on the couch. “And those are gifts… for you.”

   “And I am not taking a bribe from Damon the self-serving psychopath.” added Y/N.

   “It’s not a bribe. You are starting anew which means new wardrobe, new everything.” said her friend enthusiastically. Caroline pulled out a light blue sundress to show her and sighed watching Y/N’s confused expression, her gaze drifting to the sweatshirt she was wearing which was definitely not hers. “This has to go –”  she took a step towards her.

Y/N held out her hand. “S-stop. Caroline, I don’t need a new wardrobe or new anything. I need… a - a time machine to take me back to the time when I could actually have a family with the person I love, to have his kids and grow old with him. You know, away from this insanity where I don’t have to wake up every morning asking myself ‘is this the day some vampire is going to eat me’.”

   “You can still have a family, kids and grow old with someone.” Caroline reminded her. “There is someone out there waiting for you. And you won’t be heartbroken forever. One day you will wake up and you would’ve moved on without realizing.”

Y/N took a step away from her, sat on the couch and took a sip of her coffee when she felt something warm to hot burn on her chest. Instantly she shot up and glanced at the shirt. “N-no. That was the only thing of him I had left… I –”

Caroline took a step towards her. “Maybe that’s a sign. Maybe –”

   “Caroline –” started Y/N, “I know you are trying to help but… don’t. There are no words, no gifts… absolutely nothing that can make up for what I am going through at the moment. I know what’s best for me and – ” she paused, looking around. “D-did you hear that? Sounded like… Did I leave my bedroom window open?!”

   “No. I didn’t hear a thing.” Caroline walked into the kitchen for a second, popping her head through the door a moment later with a plate with cupcakes in her hands. “May I? Your cupcakes look and taste incredible –”

Y/N glanced out the window. For a moment she thought she saw something or someone moving in the bushes, but as well it might’ve been her neighbour’s cat or a stray dog. “Be my guest.”

_________________________________________

Y/N laid in her bed starring at the ceiling. Another sleepless night because she just refused to fall asleep. Every night nightmares would torment her or more like one themed nightmare that kept playing on repeat and no matter what she tried, there was no way to shake it off. Her eyes closed for a second and flashes of images from different dreams played behind her eyelids – Kai at the wedding, killing himself then Damon killing him while she stood there helpless unable to do anything; Kai’s heart being ripped out right before her eyes. Losing Kai had always been her biggest fear and now with him being gone, things had spun out of control. 

A sigh left her lips and she covered her face with her palms when the sounds of someone banging on the door downstairs reached her through the open bedroom door. Quickly she got up and glanced at the clock – a little after midnight. 

     “Coming.” she rubbed her eyes, tripping over one of the bags Caroline had insisted to leave in her house. “Damn it…” she cursed under her breath, hearing the knocks on the door get more persistent and she ran towards it, unlocking it.

As soon as the door swung open all air got pulled out of her lungs. Barely a step away from her stood Kai. His clothes were semi torn and covered with blood. His skin was so pale it was almost white, sweat drops covered his forehead and on his neck, there was a still bleeding wound with black veins spreading. His hand was braced against the doorframe and when he looked up at her, his lips curled into a faint smile.

   “H-hi –” he said weakly. “C-can I come in?”

    “Yeah, of course.” she stepped aside, catching him just as he was about to fall. “What happened to you?”

Kai glanced at her, meeting her eyes for a second and attempted to smile but instead a painfiled groan left his lips. How was he to tell her that earlier that night every suppressed emotion from the past few days had fought its way back to the surface and he had lashed out at a werewolf pack in the woods on a full moon. They had lashed out back at him and he had just given up fighting back until the alpha had shown up, forcing the others to step down. Laying on the ground starring at the night sky a dozen images of their first date together under the stars by Wickery Bridge popped up into his mind. Y/N’s smile, the way her eyes had sparked; her laugh echoing and her hands hooking around his neck before her lips met with his; how he had pulled her towards him and had tossed her under him on the blanket… He had to tell he how sorry he was, to see her again. One last time before he lets himself die, giving her the chance to move on and be happy. Because that’s all he wanted – for her to be happy, even if that wasn’t with him.

Y/N swung his arm over her shoulders, wound her arm around his waist and helped him over to the couch, quickly running towards the door to close it and pull the curtains. She knelt down next to him and pressed her palm on his forehead. It was almost as if he had a fever but she knew better. Carefully she pulled his shirt up feeling a lump get stuck in her throat. There wasn’t just a bite on his neck –  a couple bullet holes were spread all over his chest including two not too far away from his heart and on his abdomen, there was a large cut from where blood kept finding its way out. Black veins spreading from it meaning the blade must’ve been laced with werewolf toxin. Why hadn’t he siphoned the bite away and healed himself? she wondered.

   “Kai?” she said softly, gently brushing her palm against his cheek. “Hey, open your eyes. I need you to open your eyes okay. Please.”

Weakly his eyes fluttered open and he looked at her with eyes filled with pain, tears and something else she couldn’t quite place in her panicked state. A small smile showed on her face seeing he was conscious and the corners of his mouth twitched too. Purple/black veins flickering under his eyes but she didn’t flinch. Or scream or run away.

   “What happened? Why haven’t you healed?”

   “T-there is no rea-son for me t-to heal.” he said quietly, looking into her eyes.

   “What? Why would you say that? Kai, please. You have to siphon it or you will die.”

   “No.” he shook his head. “I don’t deserve to keep living after everything I did. After everything I took away from you. I can’t forgive myself.”

Kai sat at the bottom of the stairs listening to Caroline talk with Y/N, literally feeling his heart being ripped out of his chest. How hadn’t he realized what he had done all this time?! His answer had been right there all this time, right before his eyes… there had been nights where she’d say a thing like ‘can you imagine how cute our son would be?’; or that time they had watched UP and she had cried in the first few minutes saying how growing old with him would be a dream and that this is all she could ever want out of life. For them to have their own small family and grow old together. All those little comments he had let through his ears, hearing but not listening to her. No wonder she had been so upset with him. All she had ever wanted had been to have a family after losing hers in a fire not too long before they had met. And now… by turning into a vampire he had taken away what she wanted most – a family. He wanted to give her the world and had thought as a heretic he’d be able to, and now he could give her everything but the thing she wanted most.

A tear rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, swallowing hard. He wanted so badly to go to her, to wrap his arms around her, to tell her he had been there with her the entire time, watching over her… too scared to appear before her, thinking she’d kick him out. To apologize and make it right, but he knew there was no apology in the world that could compensate for what he had done. Nothing he could do or say would fix things between them or make her pain any less.

A sigh left his lips and as quietly as possible he headed up the stairs and jumped out through her bedroom window into the bushes in the backyard before jumping the small fence leading to the street.

   “What? No, heal!” she raised her voice, tears threatening to start streaming down her face at any moment while she watched his chest raising barely with every breath he took. “Please –”

   “No.” he opened his eyes. “I just had to s-see you, t-to tell you t-that –”

Y/N gripped his wrist and put it over the wound on his neck. “Siphon it away.“

   “Y/N –” he said quietly, intertwining their fingers together. “I have to tell you –”

   “You can tell me later. Heal.” she demanded, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Please –” 

   “I was such an idiot to –” he coughed. “– to do this to you. To break your h-heart and take away your d-dream of having a f-family with me. I’ve been so selfish because I love you. I – I love you and – I wanted so badly to spend eternity with you.” he coughed again. “Instead I lost you the n-night of the w-wedding and af-ter everything I k-know you stopped loving me.” he groaned in pain. “I just w-wanted us to be h-happy. To see your eyes, y-your smile completing my w-wolrd. I w-anted so badly for you to be h-happy and I ruined everything –”

   “You idiot.” she smiled through tears. “How can you think I could ever stop loving you? I love you more than anything. You are my life, my future, Kai. You and me … we can get through anything together. Just heal. Please.”

   “Y-you are better off w-without me. Y-ou should listen to your friends and m-move on…but I w-wanted you t-to know how s-sorry I am. I –”

Y/N pressed her lips against his, gently caressing his forehead while his eyes fluttered closed. “I forgive you. I forgive you.” she waited for him to respond, to say something when she realized he had stopped breathing. “Kai? Don’t you dare leave me. Kai! Wake up!” she shook his shoulders. “Wake up! Please –” she cried. “Please –” 

   “Hey. Hey wake up.“ came Kai’s voice as if from a fog.

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and instinctively she tried to push away the person shaking her shoulders. Then she realized it was him and the relief flooding her body nearly made her lose consciousness. Kai smiled at her and pulled her into his arms, rubbing gentle circles on her back. Her arms wrapped around him so tightly if she was a vampire she probably would’ve crushed his ribs. Y/N scooted even closer to him on the bed but as much as she tried to calm down, it just wasn’t possible. This nightmare kept haunting her, taking her back in time to the moment he had nearly died before her eyes and every time a piece of her died thinking how she had been this close to losing him forever because of her mistake. Because she had pushed him away…

   “Again?” he asked. Y/N only hummed between sobs. “It’s been months. Why does this keep tormenting you?“

   “Y-you almost di-ed because of m-me.” she sobbed. “I never c-could’ve lived with m-myself if something had h-happened and you–”

Kai gently kissed her forehead, brushing away a strand of hair from her face. “It wasn’t your fault–”

   “But it was.“ she said quietly, feeling his thumb wipe away a tear from her cheek before he tilted her chin up, gazing into her eyes. “I almost lost you again, I –

   “It wasn’t.” he said softly. “And I am here, we –” he intertwined their fingers together, playing with the wedding ring on her finger. “– are together because you saved me that night. Giving CPR to a vampire.” his lips curled into a small smile and gently brushed his palm against her cheek, resting his forehead on hers. “I am here … and I am not going anywhere. I promise.” _________________________________________

MISTAKES

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 4 335 summary: Kai comes over to Reader’s house with a very important question about their future, when things take an unexpected turn. * gif by me _________________________________________

A sigh left her lips and she sat on the couch, glancing at the clock. Earlier when he had called, her boyfriend had promised he’d be there by 7PM and it was already 8PM. He was never late and if he was going to be he always called, but just as she reached for her phone someones hands covered her eyes and someone’s breath tickled her neck. Instantly her breath got caught in her throat and her heartbeat increased. There were things she’d recognise in her sleep, things that could bring her back from the dead … and his touch was at the top of the list.

   “Malachai Parker…” she muttered, “Hasn’t anyone told you? It’s not polite to make a girl wait.”

Kai kissed her cheek and tossed himself on the couch next to her, instantly pulling her into his arms. His palm brushed against her cheek and their lips collided in a gentle kiss from which neither could pull away. Or get enough. It was always like this no matter how many times they kissed, ever since the first kiss a few weeks ago.

   “I’m sorry. I couldn’t get here sooner. Something happened.” he said softly, resting his forehead on hers and longingly gazing into her eyes. “I’ll make it up to you. It’s a promise.”

   “What happened?” she shifted on the couch, semi-climbing onto his lap. “Tell me.”

   “Not important at the moment.” he placed his hands on her waist while hers hooked around her waist. “What matters most is you being in my arms and nothing else. I um – there is something I wanted to ask you but you might get upset with me and I –”

   “I am not just your girlfriend, I am your best friend. You can tell and ask me anything.”

Kai smiled nervously, glancing at their hands as their fingers intertwined together. They’ve been together, romantically, for over two months now. Two absolutely blissfully happy filled months, minus the two weeks they spent apart due to her friends leaving him in 1903… They shared laughs, inside jokes and so many of the same interests. And no matter what her friends had told her and kept telling her about him, nothing could change her mind about them. Whenever he was around Y/N was always dopey grin happy and he loved seeing her like this, but –

   “Malachai –”

Y/N tilted her head slightly and playfully slapped his chest once, twice… her lips curled into a smile watching him look at her with his ocean blue eyes glowing like never before. Something was different about him and even though she couldn’t put her finger on it, she knew she liked it. No, she loved it. Slowly her smile turned into a laughter and he started laughing with her until he gripped her wrists, pinning her against the couch.

   “I’m leaving –”

   “What?”

   “—and I want you to come with me.” he added, gazing into her eyes. “I know your life is here, your friends… your family. That I am asking you to leave everything you know behind to be with me and –”

   “My life is wherever you are.” she interrupted him. “Wherever that is – this town, another continent or another planet or galaxy or the corner of the furthest galaxy. Another dimension –”

Kai smiled widely at her and pressed his lips briefly against hers. “You mean it? You’d leave your friends … your home, your family just to be with… me?”

   “Yeah…” she smiled, lightly holding her lip between her teeth. “I have no family remember? I mean, they are all at the cemetery. And I can make new friends um wherever it is we are going. Which is um… where exactly?”

Kai leaned in towards her, pressing his lips against hers and slowly trailing them down her neck.    “Anywhere. Everywhere… another planet, the corner of the furthest galaxy. Another dimension –”

Y/N laughed under her breath for a second and tangled her fingers in his hair.     “Just you and me. Forever. Like we were actually meant to get to the normal boyfriend-girlfriend stuff after everything that happened. You know, Prison Worlds… my friends trying to break us up.” Her eyes fluttered closed for a second enjoying his touch when suddenly his lips dissappeared. Y/N opened her eyes finding him look at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.

   “I don’t deserve you.”

   “You deserve the world, Kai.” she said quietly. “You deserve to get to live the way you want and to be happy. How many times do I have to remind you that, silly? I’ll go pack now cuz that will take forever.” she started to push him off her, when instead he pulled her up and her stomach rumbled. Kai laughed under his breath.

   “You do that.” he tapped her nose, smiling at her. “I’ll go make dinner cuz someone is clearly hungry and … we can leave in the morning?”

   “Sounds perfect to me.” Y/N cupped his face and pressed her lips against his in a long slow kiss before getting off the couch and almost running towards the stairs, stopping at the bottom to look at him. “I love you.”

   “I love you too.” he smiled at her, watching her make her way upstairs while his hand rested over his pocket. “More than words can describe.”

Y/N pushed her bedroom door open and pulled out a suitcase from under the bed, her smile unable to leave her face.  It was happening – she was about to get everything she could’ve ever dreamed about. A boy who loves her with all her flaws, who she loves with all his flaws. Someone she could start a family with, have children with. Someone she could grow old with. Her hands reached in the dresser and she almost tossed everything in the suitcase without even bothering to look until it was so full, she had to push it on the floor and sit on top of it to close it when she heard her phone ringing downstairs. She called out for Kai to pick it up but he didnt seem to have heard her so she ran downstairs. Her slippers slipped on the carpet in her hurry to pick it up and she almost fell on the couch before grabbing her phone from the coffee table. CAROLINE said the caller ID. Swiftly she swiped the screen and answered the call.

   “Hey, Care. Can I call you later? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

   “Um no.” said her friend, lightly sniffling. “This can’t wait.”

   “What is it?” asked Y/N feeling a pit start to form in her stomach, slowly growing wih every second.

   “You should come to the Salvatore house.”

   “I can’t. Kai is o–”

   “Kai is dead, Y/N.” said her friend.

   “No, Care he isn’t—“  she got up heading towards the kitchen where supposedly Kai was making dinner. “He – he was just…” she ran around the house looking for him, feeling her heart sank a little deeper with every step she took. “What –”

   “Y/N, he has been dead for at least a few hours.” replied her friend. “He linked Elena to Bonnie then tried to kill her…and Damon –”

   “Damon what, Caroline?” said Y/N through gritted teeth, barely able to catch a breath. Tears had started to fill her eyes and even though she knew what the answer to her question would be, she dreaded hearing her friend’s answer. “What did he do?!”

   “He… killed him.”

   “No.” Y/N cried, resting her back against the wall in the living room. “No, you are lying. Damon wouldn’t do this to me. He knows how much Kai means to me. He… he wouldn’t.”

   “Y/N, I asked Damon to wait before he buries him so you can say goodbye but yo—”

Y/N’s phone slipped to the ground and slowly her back slid down the wall. But he would. a tiny voice told her. He absolutely would and he had. Damon had taken him away from her, again. Having Kai back for three days in secret… Three of the happiest days in her life and now he was gone all over again and this time forever.

As if from a distance she could hear her friend still talking to her on the phone but none of it mattered. There were no words that could comfort her, no words that can make the pain go away. Tears started streaming down her face and her body shook from the sobs while she hugged her knees, rocking back and forth on the ground trying to figure out if had her mind been playing tricks on her or if she was seeing ghosts. Or maybe Kai had played a trick on her friends so they can get away.

No, she shook her head. He would’ve told me. He wouldn’t put me through that kind of pain. He wouldn’t do this to me.

Y/N grabbed her phone and smashed it against the wall, quite literally turning it to bits but not before it knocked over the reading lamp hear by. Plastic and glass shreds covered the floor around her and it felt as if time stood still. Or the world had stopped spinning. Her mind kept spinning, replaying everything that had happened barely half an hour ago. It had felt so real, but if what Caroline had said – it hadn’t been and her friend wouldn’t lie to her. As the thought that she had lost him for good started to sink in, she felt as if all oxygen was being sucked out of the room, and the world felt as if was literally crashing and burning around her. It took her a couple of minutes to gather up the strength to stand up, get her car keys and get in her car, headeding straight towards the Salvatore house. On a few occasions on her way there, she ran a red light and when she finally parked the car before the house she had only one thought remained in her mind.

Y/N reached towards the backseat and pulled one of Rick’s compeessed air weapons, tucked it in one of her sleeve and in the other a couple syringes with concentrated shot of vervain.

   “Y/N –” said Stefan, reaching to hug her but she pushed him away.

   “Where is he?”

   “Damon is burying him in the woods.”

   “Where?” she insisted. “Tell me. Now.”

Stefan sighed and opened the front door, motioning for her to follow her. For a while they walked in silence, leafs and branches crunching under their feet. Her mind was drowning in memories shared with Kai – their first kiss, their first time… all the talks about their future, while she tried to decide what she’d do next. Seeing Kai’s body… A part of her knew it would crush her even but somehow, she had to see him herself because her heart refused to believe it. How could it be true? That the only person she had ever loved, ever cared and was ready to leave everything behind for was gone. No.

   “Look, Y/N…” started Stefan. “I know you must be in shock, I know you cared about him and loved him but –”

   “Love.” she corrected. “Present tense.”

   “Right.” nodded her friend. “But he crossed a line.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks. “And you haven’t? Damon hasn’t? Caroline hasn’t? All of us have crossed a line but murder… is never the answer. I thought someone who has lived over century and a half on this planet would know this by now.”

   “I do.” he watched her walk past him. “But Damon –”

   “Damon is Damon. He gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.” she muttered, pushing a branch away. “Kai –”

Damon looked up at her and then glanced at Kai’s body at his feet. He took a step towards her, blocking her view.   “Y/N, I am sorry. I –” his hands reached for her, but she pushed him away.

   “Stay away from me or I swear –”

   “Tell me what I can do to make it up to you –”

   “You can go to Hell –” she hissed and when he tried to touch her again, she staked him in the stomach and verivained him. Stefan took a step towards them unsure what to do. “Don’t take another step unless you want to join him on the ground.”

   “I understand you are hurt but this isn’t you.” said her friend, taking in another step. “Don’t –”

   “But it is.” she blinked back tears. “It is 100% me and you know it. Stefan, he took away the person I was in love with. The first person I was ever in love with, the only one who understood me completely. He took away my soulmate. Just be happy I staked him in the stomach, not the heart like I wanted to.”

   “You know what happens if you do kill him?” asked her friend taking another step towards her. “At first it will feel really good… but then you will crumble.” he took another step towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I can help you deal with this pain –”

   “There is nothing you can say or do. I’m sorry, Stef.” she said apologetically.

A second later she watched his body drop to the ground. Taking in a shaky breath she took a step towards Kai’s body, wrapped in a large piece of cloth, and knelt down next to him. He deserved a proper burial, not an unmarked grave in the middle of nowhere and even though she had no idea how she’d get his body to her car she knew she’d find a way. For a moment her hands hovered over the fabric and finally she pulled it away, uncovering the body. Her tears filled eyes widened at the sight before her.

   “Oh my God –" she covered her mouth with her hand. Her world turned upside down again and she fell backwards on the ground trying to remember how to breathe when –

   “Care to explain why I had to do a locator spell to find you?” said a male voice. “And what are those two doing unconscious on the ground?”

Y/N got up and turned around, able to breathe for the first time in the past 30 minutes. There he was, Kai, leaning in against one of the trees. His lips curled into a smile and she took a step backwards from him while he took a step towards her. “You are alive… I will kill you myself for putting me through this.”

   “You weren’t supposed to leave the house. I went to the store – you had run out of a couple of things I needed to make dinner special. How was I supposed to know your annoying friends would call to tell you I died? Well, not died died…” he took a step towards her and another until his hands were around her waist and her back pressed against the tree. Purple/black veins flashed under his eyes and he could see the surprise in her eyes.

   “You are a vampire.”

   “A heretic actually.” he corrected her. “It’s incredible really. I can siphon my vampirism and convert it into more magic.”

   “Good for you.”

   “But what I love most is—” he said softly, brushing his fingertips against her cheek. “—is that now I can hear your breathing change when I touch you. Your heartbeat changing when I kissed you earlier or every time I touch you or call you mine. How it changes when I tell you that I love you. Like it did just now –”

   “I um –”

   “Let’s go home, bunny. I will explain everything.”

   “No. I am not going anywhere with you.” she pushed him off, angrily walking towards her friends then stepping over them.

   “Y/N –” he called out after her but she kept walking. He briskly made his way around the unconscious brothers and when he finally caught up with her, he had to yank her back because she still refused to even say a word to him. “Come on, Y/N. Talk to me.”

Y/N pushed him off, glared at him and scoffed continuing to walk on her way. An hour and her entire life had been turned upside down so many times she wasn’t even sure which way was up anymore.  Or if anything happening around her was real for that matter. Her angry footsteps echoed in the woods and she was pretty sure she was heading in the wrong direction but none of it mattered. Her mind was spinning and having Kai walk behind her wasn’t helping at all. She wanted to kiss him, hug him, slap him, kicking and punch him at the same time. A part of her was so upset with him and wanted to yell at him, to tell him off, the other wanted to suffocate him with kisses and never let him out of her sight again.

   “Yell at me. Punch me, come on.” he insisted. “I hate it when you are upset with me and… I know it’s been a couple of minutes but I miss the sound of your voice so –”  

   “I hate how much I love you.” she muttered more to herself than to him, stopping a few steps later to turn towards her boyfriend. “You mess up, repeatedly and I keep forgiving you because I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. In fact, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you and you –” she sighed, placing her hand on her forehead. “You lied to me.” she said, blinking back tears. “You said you weren’t going to the wedding. You said all of this is behind you and that we are going to spend the evening together. And then you came home an hour late as if nothing had happened. Kai, you didn’t even tell me you’ve –”

Kai took a step towards her, attempting to touch her but she pushed him away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you… I –”  

   “You made a life changing choice and didn’t even tell me about it!” she continued. “You took away something I –”

   “Something that you what?” he questioned. “Tell me.”

Y/N wiped her nose with her wrist, blinking back tears before looking at him. “And to top it all, the least thing you could’ve done was leave a note before leaving the house. Ten words, that’s all you had to write…  ‘Hey, kitten. I am going to the store cuz you had ran out of pasta or whatever.’ I would’ve kept your secret. I trusted you…and you betrayed me.”

Kai laughed under his breath. “Kitten? More like a tiger, but yes. I understand. Big mistake… That’s three strikes on me. I – Let’s go home, please.”

   “Home?!” she muttered. “H-how did you even–”

   “—walk into your house without being invited in earlier?” he finished. “Remember earlier when I called you and you told me to ‘let myself in, mi casa es tú casa’?”

   “Right.” she muttered, looking at her shoes. Kai brushed his palm against her cheek and tilted her face up, forcing her to look at him. “Are you going to tell me what happened at the wedding, or should I go wake the two stooges over there?”

   “I got a peace of mind I’ve been longing for such a long time… and now I am free. We are free.” he cupped her face. “We are free to be together forever. That’s all I want. You. Always by my side, always in my arms… To spend eternity with you. And only you. I love you, Y/N. I love you more than you can possibly imagine and I can’t imagine spending a second without you. Yes, I screwed up. And I am so terribly sorry for this. You are right and …” he sighed. “Do you want to spend eternity with me? Or have I crossed the last line in our relationship, because if I had… I wouldn’t be able to go on living.”

   “Why do I feel like this is a marriage proposal?” she ran her fingers through her hair, glancing at him.  He glanced at his shoes and she noticed his hand in his jeans front pocket. Y/N shook her head. “OH no… no. You have a lot to make up for if you want me to say ‘Yes’ when you ask.”

Kai took a step towards her, holding her tightly against him. His forehead rested on hers, his lips almost touching hers as he spoke. “Well, I better start now then.” he pressed his lips against hers, or… tried to.

Instead of his lips meeting with hers, they met with her fingers.

   “No. D-Don’t do that. I am upset with you and –” he cut her off with a kiss and almost instantly she melted in his arms forgetting what he had done until the memory broke through her haze and she pushed him off. “K-keep your lips away from me. I am mad at you.”

   “No, you aren’t.” he shook his head, his lips twitching for a second. “Not really anyways –”

   “I am absolutely furious –”

He cut her off again, kissing her passionately when she pushed him off and her palm connected with his cheek. “I had that coming.”

   “Cloak yourself.” she demanded, spinning on her heels. “We are not done talking about this.” A couple of minutes later she almost ran out in the front yard where Caroline was waiting for her by the door and instantly ran to hug her.

   “Are you okay? Right… sorry, of course you are not okay.”

   “I’ll get better… OH and, I may have vervained Stefan and Damon in the woods. Tell them, I’m sorry.” she opened the car door. “Actually, tell Stefan I am sorry.”

   “You shouldn’t be alone right now. I’ll come with you –”

   “No, Care. I need some time to… process things. Having my life turned upside down in the span of a few hours. Losing everything I’ve ever wanted, I –”

Caroline nodded, watching her get in her car where Kai was waiting on the passenger seat already. “I get it. I’m here for you if you need me.”

   “Thanks, Care.” said Y/N, forcing a faint smile before putting the keys in the ignition and pulling down the driveway without even glancing at Kai.

For a while they drove in silence, both of them getting lost in their thoughts. Kai kept glancing at her trying to figure out what to say but the more he searched for the right words, the more it seemed he got tongue tied. Hurting her had never been his intention. He had hopped to the store to pick up a few things and when he had gotten back and seen the shattered pieces on the floor, unable to find her anywhere in the house he had felt as if he was dying all over again. How was he supposed to know her friends would call her that soon?! He had hoped they’d call her tomorrow when they’d already be gone and now… Whatever future he and Y/N had was so unclear, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had ruined the best thing that has ever happened to him. His gaze drifted from her out the window, watching the people on the street It was late but there were so many – husbands and wifes with children running around them or playing with each other… What if he never got to have that? What if he couldn’t fix things between them?

   “Y/N, I –” he started to say when she turned on the radio so loud his ears started to hurt. He flicked his wrist lightly, lowering the volume and sighed. “Tell me how to fix this.”

Y/N parked the car on the driveway, got out of the car and tossed him the car keys as he got out from his side. He caught them mid-air, quickly locked the car and chased after her only to have the front door slammed shut in his face. A sigh left his lips and he walked in after her, watching her climb up the stairs. It took him a split second and went after her.

   “You are not sleeping in my bed.” she stopped at her bedroom door. “You can sleep on the couch.”

   “No.”

   “No?” she turned towards him, “It’s the couch or the floor. Take your pick but you are not allowed to even get under the sheets with me in any way until you apologize –”

   “I did apologize.”

   “No. You haven’t. You apologized for everything except for the thing I am upset with you about.”

   “How can I know what you are upset about if you won’t even tell me?!”

   “Figure it out.” she started closing the door but he held it open. “What?!”

   “I’m sleeping on the floor.”

   “Not here you aren’t.”

   “You said ‘couch or floor’. I chose floor. You didn’t say where and I choose right there by your bed because I can’t be apart from you.”

   “Sucks to be you, then.”

Y/N struggled against him, trying to push the door. A groan of frustration escaped her lips and finally she decided to push him away herself. Her hands found their way on her chest and for a moment she almost caved in, allowing him in her bedroom. But having him that close to her after everything… No, she pushed him off and shut the door in this face right before locking it.

Kai placed his palm on the door and sighed, listening in to her breathe on the other side. He slid down to the floor, bringing up his knees to his chest trying to figure out what he had to apologize for when suddenly he heard her from the other side of the door… crying.

_________________________________________

CLOCK TOWER

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 3 092 warning: possible triggers summary: a few months months before ‘White Christmas’ *gif by me _________________________________________

Walking into the bar, Kai couldn’t help but notice all the people gathered there –  laughing, drinking and eating in groups while listening to the live band the manager of the Grill had contracted for the week. He walked over to the bar, quickly getting the cute bartender’s attention as usual and even before he had ordered his drink… a glass slid on the counter towards him. He gave her his best smile, adding a ‘thank you’ and turned around looking at all the people in the bar when he noticed something. Or more like someone. 

In one of the darker corners of the bar, alone with a tray with curly fries sat Y/N. Her elbow was on the table and her head rested in her hand. Usually her hair would be always in a tight ponytail though in that instant it was messy and her sideways loose ponytail was almost completely gone. For a moment he wondered if that was even her, though he quickly became 100% convinced. There was no way for him to forget those eyes or those hands. Not because they’ve been a couple, but because at the wedding when everything had seemed lost and he had though that would be it for him with the werewolf bite and everything … Y/N had been the one to go to him and try to help him as best as she could. That was three months ago, but he never forgot it or her. Instead she always found ways to sneak into his thoughts, into his dreams… and he couldn’t understand why. But what he knew was this feeling of warmth he got every time he was around her was something he never wanted to lose or let go off. In fact, he couldn’t get enough of it.

    “Hey, can I have another drink?” he asked and a few short moments another glass slid towards him. “Better yet, give me the entire bottle.”

Swiftly he made his way through the crowd to her table and the closer he got the more he figured something was off. Her smile was gone and it was almost as if there was an actual dark cloud over her head. Y/N reached her hand towards the fries and took one, then dropped it back in the plate. 

    “Mind if I join you?” he asked, almost making her jump up. Y/N looked up at him and sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you or anything –”

    “Be my guest.” she muttered, barely looking at him until a glass with bourbon found its way before her. “I don’t drink.”

    “Tonight, you do.” he nodded towards the glass. “And maybe you can tell me why you are so… not yourself at the moment.”

Y/N studied his face for a second, her fingers reluctantly wrapped around the glass and before she realized she gulped almost all of it at once.  “What makes you think I am not myself?” 

Kai reached towards her fries and took a couple before answering. “Where should I start? First your hair is all messed up, you have dark circles under your eyes, your skin is paler than usual, you look like the weight of the sky is actually on your shoulders and… for the first time since we’ve met you are not smiling. I could feel your dark presence across the bar. It’s really bumming me out.”

    “Well, then I’m gonna go and stop bumming you out.” she started to get up when he pulled her back in her seat with magic. “What the –” 

    “Talk to me. Come on, I talk a lot but I am a good listener too.” he took a couple fries, giving her a small smile. “And I really don’t mind listening to you. That’s the least I can do for you after saving my life.”

Y/N sighed, rested both her hands on the table and buried her face in them. Music blasted around them, loud and ruckus yet she could still hear her thoughts and drown in them; in every emotion that swirled through her heart and soul. A few seconds passed and he poured her another drink. She looked up and almost got lost in another sea of thoughts all because of the way he was looking at her.

    “So that’s your plan? Get me drunk enough so I spill all my secrets –”

    “No.” his lips curled into a small smile. “But I am hoping to see you smile. See, the thing is –” he leaned in closer. “There is something about your smile and the way your eyes twitch when you laugh that I find fascinating…Usually I’d just walk away, but with you… everything is different. And I won’t go away or let you go until you smile.”

    “Well,” she took a large sip from her glass. “You may be waiting a while.”

    “I don’t mind waiting.” he smiled. “I’m a patient man.”

Y/N glanced at him and sighed. Kai was the last person she had expected to see that night and even though the past few weeks she had been drowning in her thoughts and feelings, she didn’t know what to tell him. Days after days, weeks after weeks absolutely nothing went right in her life. Her parents used her as an emotional punching bag, yelling at her when they were upset with something else. Deadlines for assignments for school hovered over her head like a guillotine, threatening to leave her headless at any moment. Her boyfriend, someone who had claimed he loved her and would do anything for her… had used her and broken up with her, not giving a damn in what a fragile state she was. And her friends – well, they were busy dealing with all the supernatural stuff going on, trying to prevent a ‘doomsday’ like scenario for all of them. Not that she could blame them or anything but in the end, no one was around for her to talk to.Y/N didn’t feel comfortable calling her old high school friends, thinking she’d be bothering them. In a way, even though during her day she was surrounded by people everywhere, she was completely alone. Absolutely and utterly alone…. Until a few moments ago when her eyes met with Kai’s and that feeling started to dissolve so very slowly, she wasn’t sure if it was even happening for real. Yet his smile made her feel happy, in a way, for the first time in a long time.

    “Tell me.” he nudged her.

A quiet sigh left her lips and she trailed her finger across the glass’ lid.    “I don’t know why I am not myself.” she said so quietly if he wasn’t a vampire he would’ve missed it. “I can’t think. Nothing works out the way I want to, I can’t do a thing. I have this constant pit in my stomach like something is wrong… and I’m… alone.” she blinked fast a couple of times trying to blink back the tears that threatened to start rolling down her cheeks which seemed to happen a lot to her lately. “Being alone never bothered me before. I like silence… and being by myself used to be fun. But –” she sighed. “– everyone I know has someone, and I have a cat… who can’t talk, and as fun as he is, being alone –” 

    “It’s starting to weight on you.” he finished for her. His hand slid across the table towards hers and he gave her a gentle squeeze. “I know how that feels. But you are not alone. You have all your friends  –” 

    “Who are busy cleaning up your mess because you let the heretics out of 1903.”

    “Oh so it’s my fault?” Kai chuckled. “Oh-kay, yeah. That might’ve been a mistake. But… you still have me.”

    “A dangerous sociopathic vampire/witch hybrid wants to be my friend. I must be drunk already.” she gulped the glass before her at once.

Kai laughed under his breath for a second, raising his hands in defense. “Hey, you want to be alone. It’s fine with me but as someone who spent his entire life alone –” 

    “Because you killed most of your family and got banished into a prison world for it.” she snatched the bottle, looking into his eyes for a moment. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to – I… I’m such a bitch right now. I’m sorry.“ she sighed. “W-where they really that bad? I mean, there must’ve been someone who –” 

    “There wasn’t.” he swallowed hard, grabbing the bottle from her hands. “But we are not here to talk about me. We are here because a girl as beautiful as you has to smile and deserves to be happy and not to spend the night alone, sitting at a bar. Not even eating. How long has it been since you had something other than water?” he asked, watching her shift uncomfortably in her seat. Perhaps a bit longer than he had thought. “Anyways, what do you say? Friends?”

    “No.”

    “Come on.” he insisted. “If you don’t want to be friends then why did you save me at the wedding?”

Y/N glanced around the bar and sighed. “Because… I owed you one for saving me from certain death at the Salvatore library and … it was the right thing to do. You royally pushed it, but everyone deserves a chance and there is something about you. A light or something, I don’t know. It got me curious to see it grow, get brighter.”

    “Then give me a chance.” he said softly. “One night. Be my friend for one night.”

About a minute passed before she grabbed the bottle from his hands and took a sip directly from it. Y/N didn’t say a word at first. He was using her words against her but it was true. He could’ve walked away, he could’ve ignored her and pretended she wasn’t at the Grill. But he had chosen to check up on her.    “Fine.” she said, watching him smile widely at her words. “One night.”

During the following hour or so Kai and Y/N talked or more like he talked while she listened and for a moment he thought he had succeed in his mission to make her smile. Though every attempt seemed to end in failure. A couple of her old high school friends walked by, stopping for a few minutes to talk but even though her lips tried to curl into a smile as she talked to them, he could see her eyes watering. It was almost like her body was there but her mind was elsewhere. 

Every now and then her eyes would drift around the crowd, longingly finding something to look at. A young couple making out in the darker corner, some guy sitting alone at the bar with his phone in his hands or a group with friends laughing and talking. In a way he understood why she had that longing look. Most of his life he had been on the outside looking in, wondering what it would feel like to have your parents hug you instead of find ways to punish you because you were born different. But something seemed off to him. He could see in her eyes that a lot of things weighted on her and he wanted her to open up, to tell him knowing that’s the only way things would get better. He found himself carrying about her well being, about the way she felt and he couldn’t understand why exactly. It wasn’t like they were close or anything, they weren’t even friends more like sort-of-friends. Y/N was always there, almost unnoticeable, always trying to be good and do the right thing even if it meant going against her friends. There hadn’t been a person like her he had met and if she had said she had seen a spark of light in him, he was sure it had been because of her and the way she had touched his heart and soul the first time they had met.

    “How did you do it?”

    “Did what?”

    “See that light in me.” he said softly. “No one else does. They just see me as the monster who killed his entire family, the one who linked Elena to Bonnie, who are your best friends and yet …here you are. Giving me a chance not once but twice.”

Y/N stood up suddenly. “I’m going to um… the restrooms. Excuse me.”

Kai’s eyes followed her through the crowd until she slipped behind the corner where the restrooms were. His fingers wrapped around the almost empty bottle and he poured whatever liquid remained in his glass trying to figure out why she’d jump up so suddenly. Everything had seemed to be going fine, Y/N had seemed to relax a bit and go back to her old self but then she had shut down again. A couple minutes passed and he turned around with a glass in his hands. Y/N was taking too long and a part of him started to worry something had happened to her when he saw her by the bar. A sigh left his lips and he made his way through the crowd to her.

    “What took you so long –” he started to say when the girl turned around and it wasn’t her. “Sorry, I thought you were my friend.”

He looked around the bar searching for her, then headed towards the restrooms when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out noticing a text message from her and quickly swiped the screen, tapping on the large square in the middle. Thank you for trying. Meant a lot. said the text. ‘What?’ he mouthed, quickly dialling her number while listening in with his vampire hearing but the loud music made it almost impossible for him to concentrate, so he walked outside. When no one picked up the phone, he dialled again and that’s when he heard her voice. Almost a murmur with a nervous note, a kind of shakiness he had only seen in movies when people cried or were about to do something irreversible. Only what she was saying made his blood freeze in an instant.

‘Fast and quick. Painless too and you’ve always wanted to fly like a bird.’ she muttered. 

Kai followed her voice and took a few steps to the right towards the clock tower, looking up. There she was, standing on the edge and looking straight ahead while the light wind ruffled her hair. Her heart was racing faster than he had ever heard it before, so fast as if trying to burst out of her rib cage. He took a few steps towards the building’s entrance without taking his eyes off her for a moment, trying to figure out what to do.

 A part of him knew if she figures out he is down there, it might make her rush… the other was terrified he wouldn’t be fast enough getting there. But while he was attempting to figure out his next move, she made hers. Right as the clock struck 12.30AM her foot took a step off the ledge and she started to fall fast towards the concrete. His blood froze, a feeling he had felt thousand of times before in the Prison World washed over him – he felt like he was slowly dying every second he watched her fall towards the ground. By instinct Kai ran towards her, catching her barely a few seconds before she went splat. He held her tightly in his arms, glancing up at the tower and then at her with fear and shock in his face. Her eyes remained shut for a few moments longer before she opened them and they met with his. There were unshed tears in her eyes, pain and so many things he couldn’t even begin to understand.

    “A-are you okay?” Slowly he let her feet on the ground, still holding onto her with one hand while his palm brushed against her cheek. Y/N lightly shook her head as she refused to look at him. “Did you really just try to kill yourself? Y/N, suicide is a permanent decision for temporary problems. You are smarter than tha–”

Y/N to get free from his grasp. “Let go of me.”

    “No. No, I let go and you try again. Not happening. Not on my watch.” he said determined when she broke free and ran down the street. In a second he flashed before her. “Y/N, stop –” 

    “Who are you to talk Mr. I tried every method in the book?!”

    “There is a difference – I was trapped in a magical world where I couldn’t die! Dying there was a way to… press pause for half an hour. You jump and that’s it. No going back.”

    “Why do you even care if I live or die?!” she put her hands on his chest and pushed him off. “You care about nothing and no one!”

    “Usually I’d agree but…” he went after her. “Surprisingly I care about you. More than even I understand. I care about this girl who did something no one has ever done. The one who stood against all her friends and what they kept telling her about me and gave me a chance to turn my life around. I am just returning the favour and I’ll keep returning the favour. I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall.”

Y/N groaned in frustration, and stopped in the middle of the street. “Malachai Parker –” she said with tears in her eyes. Her hands balled into fists and she started to hit him while tears started streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t go on like this –” she started to sob, feeling his fingers wrap around her wrists. “I feel so hopeless, so alone and I hate it! I hate every fucking second of it! I hate the way the closest people I have treat me all the time. How I am always to blame, like I am a punching bag and not a real person! I can’t –” he pulled her into his arms. “I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to live at al—” 

    “You don’t have to and you won’t.” he said softly, rubbing gentle circles on her back. “You have me now. You will never feel alone again. I promise you.”

    “Y-you don’t mean it.” she said quietly. “You are just –” 

BATTLE SCARS - PART II

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 3 122 / reading time: 12 minutes summary: continues the story from part I here. note: i apologise if there are typos/unclear parts. it has been a very exhausting few days and i might’ve missed a thing or two while proofreading; also the smut will be posted in the next few days. i got proofreading left only 😏; hope you guys enjoy the second chapter and let me know what you think. ❤ *gif by me _________________________________________ Kai kissed her head gently, resting his chin on it afterwards. It seemed unreal to have her back into his arms, not as a hallucination like he had had so many times in Hell. Being away from her had been the true Hell, though his time in Cade’s world of hurt had more to offer to him. All those hallucinations, illusions or whatever the tricks Cade played on him were called, that she was back in his arms and that they were together right before she died in his hands was the other… but the worst torment Cade had had for him had been something far worse. On the worst days, when the Devil himself had come to pay him a visit, Kai had either killed the person he loves the most repeatedly; or she had appeared before him, judging him for everything he had done to her friends and his family right before she stabs him in the chest as a punishment. He had told her he had hallucinated her being in Hell with him. What he hadn’t told her was in what capacity Cade had made her out to be. Not that it mattered because the girl in his arms in that moment, the queen of his heart, was nothing like the torturer he had seen daily back in Hell. He knew she’d die for him if it meant he’d be okay. Just like he’d do for her.

    “What are you thinking about?” she intertwined their fingers together on her stomach. “You’ve never been this quiet. Kind of scares me and I seriously miss the sound of your voice.”

Kai smiled.   “I was just –“ he sighed. “—thinking… about how good it feels to have you back in my arms and what song to go sing next.”

    “Kai, no. You said two songs, a drink and we go –”

    “It will be just one more song.” he smiled at her, pulling her towards him as they sat on the bar. “It’s been quite a while since I’ve had so much fun and felt so happy. Promise and then we leave town for good.”

Y/N tilted her head sideways and kissed his cheek. “We can sing karaoke in the car.”

    “Yeah but why would I deprive the world of my vocal skills?” he said as if the answer is obvious. “Plus, you love listening to me sing. And you are not the only one. You are practically dating a superstar.” Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile. “What? You saw the crowd… they loved me. I mean… us.” he pecked her lips. “We sound so good together. Is there anything we cannot do by each other’s side1?”

    “Leave this god-forsaken town, apparently.” she laughed, pulling away from him. Kai pulled her towards him instantly, holding her tighter than ever. “Kai, we have to go.”

Kai laughed, tapping her nose. “You are so cute and huggable. I cannot get enough of you being in my arms. I am never letting you go.” he warned. “No, no.” Y/N tried to get out of his grasp but he kept holding her tight. “You are mine forever.”

    “You know I am.” she smiled. “One more song. I’ll go freshen up while you decide. Just a minute, I’ll be gone a minute.” she promised, “Then you wouldn’t be able to get rid of me.”

    “Is that a promise?” he wondered. Y/N hummed and reluctantly he let go off her. She took a step away and he pulled her towards him, his lips smashing against hers in an instant. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

    “I would never –“ she smiled at him. “You’ve waited long enough. We both have –”

Kai smiled at her. “Y/N, I… there is something I want to tell you.”

    “What?”

Their eyes met and seemed like an eternity stretched out in that moment. He looked for the right words but felt absolutely tongue tied and paralyzed. “Nothing. I’ll tell you later…”

Kai closed his eyes, glancing at their spot on the bar where he had last kissed her and held her in his arms. He should’ve seen it. He should’ve known happiness will forever remain out of reach for him after everything he had done and as much as he wanted to blame someone else, deep down he knew there was no one else for him to blame. It was all his fault. Now, he was not only trapped in a magical Prison World once again but had lost her again which hurt the most. Y/N, her name popped up in his mind and involuntarily he said it quietly feeling water start to pool in his eyes.

There had never been anyone like her in his life. Sure, they hadn’t been able to stand each other at first. Y/N hadn’t failed to point all of his flaws, hadn’t been afraid to call him out on what he did wrong and ultimately that had been the reason he had fallen for her. She had tried to push him away, keeping from him how she had lost every person she has ever cared for and loved out of fear she’d lose him too. But Kai hadnt had intentions of ever leaving her; he wanted them to be together forever. Didn’t work out how he wanted it to and the pain of losing him again would probably criple her. Though he knew, she’d never let anyone see her break. He knew she’d push through on her own, no matter what. Fall apart on the inside and pick herself up… So strong, defiant… he smiled to himself, remembering how he hadn’t been able to stop himself from letting her into his heart. No. Y/N was his heart.

    “Bonnie. Bonnie, please –“ he pleaded, watching the young Bennett witch make her way towards the exit. “I need to keep her safe.”

Bonnie took a step towards him. “Y/N is better off without you.”

   “Maybe. Maybe she is, I am not better off without her and I never will be. I just –“ he sighed. “—I need to know she will be safe and with Katherine out –“

   “Should’ve thought of that before helping her.”

Kai sighed. Thing was, he had thought about it before. It had been the main reason they had been heading out of town, even if he hadn’t told his girl the full truth at the time. “I got it. That one was my bad. Just, Bonnie… Please? I – I need to see her one more time. To tell her to leave town and get as far away from here as possible like we planned before Katherine gets to her as a payback for me getting stuck here and not being out there to help her take you all idiots down.” he paused, seeing the witch’s expression. “I mean, no offense.”

Bonnie wrapped her fingers around the Ascendant a little tighter. “No one would let a hair fall out of her head. You can be sure that we will keep her safe –“

    “You don’t have the best track record when it comes to keeping people safe.” Kai pointed out. “I mean,look at poor little Elena taking a magical nap, Stefan being a human and Enzo or whatever –” he kept on talking. Bonnie shot him a warning glance. “Point is, I don’t trust you to keep her out of the Queen of Hell’s hands. And I’d very much like to be able to say goodbye to her this time. Sure you understand that at least. I want to tell her what I couldn’t tell her before your buddies got the drop on me.”

   “And what is that?”

   “That I will never stop loving her or thinking about her. That during all this time in Hell, even though she was my torturer at times, she was my link to humanity. That I’ll go to the ends of the Earth for her and I will find my way out and find her, wherever she is. However long it takes.” Kai said, watching Bonnie almost roll her eyes at him; clearly not believing a word he had said. “You know she won’t stop until she finds a way here, right?”

   “I’ve made sure I am the only one able to get here.”

   “Awwh, you want me all to yourself?” he said a little amused. “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m taken and nothing you do or say will change my mind. I’m in love with her. I think… I’ve been in love with her since the moment we first met and she knocked me out cold.” Kai said, smiling to himself. Bonnie looked at him with surprise in her eyes.   “You can leave me here, Bon Bon, but tell her what I said. Please? Tell her to run as fast and as further away from here as she can before Katherine get her stupid plan to burn this town and everything for miles with Hellfire into work.” he leaned towards Bonnie, just as she said “Goodbye, Kai.” and started to dissolve before him until she was gone. “Bonnie? Bonnie?!”  Kai screamed, thrashing in the chair Bonnie had just left him in. “Damn it—“ he cursed, using magic to stop the song. “Much better…”

His eyelids fluttered closed and he grabbed on the chains as much as he could, trying to focus enough to siphon away the spell that had been put on them before using his vampire strength to break free. He got up, cracked his neck and stretched his arms and legs for a moment, looking around the bar. A bottle with bourbon caught his attention and he whooshed himself towards it, taking a large sip. Fire burned his throat, making him spit the amber colored liquid instantly. Vervain. Damon’s idea no doubt. Not only they had trapped him in this Hell reality but they had made sure the alcohol was poisoned so he wouldn’t even be able to numb the pain.

He stared at the bottle for a few seconds and sent it flying across the bar, smashing it into the wall, screaming as he did. Trapped or not, he knew one thing for sure. His girl will do everything she could to get him out, because that’s who she was. And he’ll do anything to get back to her too and get back at her friends for separating them again. He couldn’t let this one slide even if she asked. That is if this time she doesnt snapp and lose it on them, stolen the Ascendant and…  He tapped his fingers on the counter, grabbed a napkin and wrote her a message.

    I’ll be waiting for you at home.

                          -          K

Making sure he left the message on a visible place, he walked out the bar and headed outside. Already night time. Not a cloud in the sky, no wind either except for the light spring time breeze. One thing was clear to him – the new Ascendant had come from the Armoury. There was no other explanation, which meant hus search for the key out of this prison would start there.

    And there is no eclipse to bail your ass out this time, Bonnie’s voice echoed in his mind. Just you and your insecure little mind forever.

   “Ahh, Bon Bon.” he muttered to himself, reaching inside his pocket to pull out his phone. A picture of his girl smiling while trying to block the camera with her hand met him straight away. At least this century had camera phones, the internet… and even though they were separated, he wouldn’t have to spend the next days, weeks, months or worse years, without the sound of her voice. “You are so wrong. I wasnt afraid of being trapped here again. I was afraid of being trapped her alone. Without her.” he thought out loud. “There might be no eclipse, but there must be a celestial event. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be trapped here. I’d be with my girl, eating milkshakes with fries on some road diner because she cannot get enough of that. I’d be… across the country and be happy.”

Kai sighed, stopping in the middle of the street. His eyes drifted around his surroundings, noticing the darkness and the shadows dancing around him. There was a light breeze, clear sky with so many stars and an almost full moon. Almost which ruled out one celestial event. It was the beginning of March yet it felt like spring. Just the time his girl loved the most. All those nights they spent laying under the stars, talking and cuddling came rushing back in his mind.What wouldn’t he give to be with her in that moment. To hold her in his arms and tell her it’s going to be okay. That he’d get back to her and nothing will ever separate them.  Her friends had surely told her by now that he was gone. They couldn’t compel her to forget him because she was a witch, but surely she was working on a way to get him back.

He took a few steps further and tried the car door, using his vampire strength to start it. Not wasting any more time, he started the engine and drove off into the darkness going to the one place his heart was pulling him towards like a magnet. Home.

SOME YEARS LATER…

Kai put his phone on the desk and looked around, able to swear that a moment ago he had sensed her perfume and presence. That wasn’t new. Ever since he had moved in the very first night he had found himself trapped, this had happened a lot. Every day, at least ten times a day and something told him she was trying to get to him, just as stubbornly as he was trying to get out. Only this time it felt different. Like she was really there –

    “I am losing my mind.” he muttered to himself, taking a piece of paper and a pen in his hands before turning around. “Because if you were here, there was no way I’d –“

    “There is no way you’d what?” she said, touching his forearm. “Talk to me.”

     “Hallucinating my girlfriend being here with me so I don’t talk to myself.” he smiled, turning towards her. Hallucination or not, having her there with him made him feel not so alone. The first time around he had been planning his revenge, now he was planning his future. Dreaming about all the things he wanted them to do, making a list with all of the places he wanted to show her. Asuming he got out during her lifetime. “There is no way I wouldn’t notice you actually being here. And if you were really here, then it means you found a way in which is something considering I haven’t been able to find any way out of here.”

      “But you will. I know you will.”

Kai smiled. “How? I cant even get a message out to you that I am okay –” he reached in his pocket. “I failed. Again.”

       “No. No, Kai you didn’t fail.” she said reassuringly. “And you eill find your way back to me.”

      “I will. I will do anything to get back to yo— Did you hear that?” he glanced at her. “Sounded like a… thud?”

     “I didn’t hear anything.”

     “Of course you didn’t.” he rubbed his forehead with his thumb and index finger. “It’s so quiet around here. No birds. No nothing but … that sound?”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. Kai sighed, brushing his fingertips against her cheek before closing his eyes to send her away. If he didn’t know she was a trick of his mind, he’d actually believe that she was there. He wanted so badly to actually be able to touch her, to hold her in his arms again… but what he had there was a relationship with a ghost.

Shut it off. Just shut it off and you’ll be better. the tiny voice in his mind said. You know, you are never getting out. What’s the point? Shut it off.

    “No.” he said quietly, grabbing the unfinished letter and the wooden box with all the other letters. He folded it just like the rest and put it in, closing the lid. “No, I won’t shut it off. I’d rather be in pain than lose the way I feel about her.”

Her eyes snapped wide open and she looked around confused. Took her a minute to recognize her surroundings and a split second to panic, realizing the Ascendant wasn’t in her hand. Panic flooded her at the thought the most important possession she has had been lost when someone left it directly in her hand. Y/N looked up and sighed in relief, clutching her fingers around the Ascendant. “Hope.”

   “Hey.” smiled the youngest Mikaelson. “Aunt Freya found you at the clock tower when you didn’t show up earlier. Should I be offended you’d rather take a ‘magical nap’ instead of spending time with your favorite Mikaelson?”

Y/N lightly rolled her eyes at her, her lips twitching a little. “What? No. I just, I – “ she felt her heart stop at the memory. Or had it been a dream? Didn’t matter – “I saw him.”

    “Saw who?”

    “Kai.” she looked up Freya who was just walking into the room and then at the Ascendant. “Freya, I was there. He is alive, I saw him!”

Freya shook her head, sitting on the bed with her niece and her best friend. “You must’ve passed out from exhaustion. If the spell had worked –“

Y/N jumped to her feet, stumbling a little for a second before getting to the table where the sage still burned. “I was there, Freya. I don’t know how but… I was there. And –“ her heart dropped. “—he couldn’t see me. It was like I was a ghost or something.” She turned towards her friend. “D-do you think my spirit travelled there?”

      “Y/N –“

      “Yeah?”

       “You were unconscious for two days.”

       “What? Two days?!” Y/N looked around, instinctively reaching for the necklace around her neck. “Where’s it? Where’s my necklace, I –“ she frantically looked around her. “Where is it? I can’t – I can’t be without it.”

Freya gripped her wrists. “We’ll find it, but first tell me what the hell were you thinking?! I told you to rest –“

     “Doesn’t matter.” she shook her head, glancing around the room. Nothing else mattered to her but the fact he was okay. He knew she was trying to get him out. “I saw him. I will see him again because I will get him out of there. Whatever it takes.”