#kahemo

oh, on god?  / @kahemo

the sudden contact makes lea twitch, startled, shoulders stiffening and eyes widening,  and he nearly snatches his hand away were it not for surprisingly gentle fingers curling around his wrist.  it’s a warm touch, warmer than he would’ve guessed considering who it came from.  for weeks now he’s been not quite as sporadically visiting the castle’s library and he still doesn’t quite know what to make of ansem now.  the man’s such a well of contradictions, all the aura of a predator with the emotional reactions of a child, flipping between imposing and excitable like a yo-yo that’s going too fast for even lea to keep up with. 

yet despite a few incidents aside, despite the mutual wariness and distrust between both parties – ansem because lea’s an intruder and lea because ansem is well … ansem, seeker of fucking darkness – lea’s found he’s sort of gotten used to the other man’s constant hovering at his shoulder whenever he dares to even breathe at the books.  hearts,  he’s even come to like the company, cryptic words and piercing stare notwithstanding. 

touch, though, is usually not something that ever happens,  any unconscious, automatic attempt from lea’s side harshly rebuffed.  so the hand covering his comes as a complete and utter surprise.  

part of him is still expecting the situation to turn bad: for that gentle touch to become harsh, painful, punishing.  for the other shoe to drop.  there’s a hint of suspicion in the bemused curl of his lips and the narrowing of eyes, a wary sheen to green hues as his gaze searches for ansem’s face for any signs of ire or displeasure.  

Such an odd thing for one such as he to say when they both know full well how inapplicable that statement would be to at least one party here. Happiness. Joy. Xemnas could cast his mind back to the furthest reaches of his past and still he would wonder at when last he’d felt even a stirring of its like. He cannot feel joy as much as he cannot feel sorrow or rage. Only the shadows cast by their memory, ephemeral and often so distant and blurred that they lose whatever meaning that they should carry for one such as him.  

But it is… truth. Something too honest and vulnerable for Ansem (how he loathes the name that his other half still chooses to use despite the tearing of that one veil of deception). Xemnas looks up from their game. Another round, one that he is certain that he is losing. For a creature of emotion and instinct, there is still thought that exists somewhere within this Heartless. An intelligent mind that is a remnant of their past self.  

Xemnas despises staring for overlong at Ansem, seeing too much of himself reflected in those with far too much the intensity that he can’t comprehend. But to flinch away, to lower his gaze, would be to concede defeat and it is a humiliation far worse to bear than a simple game that he has won and loss a dozen times by now. He holds that molten gaze that should burn. And yet…  

And yet now he sees only choking embers, extinguishing into only smoke and ash. He very nearly drops the piece he holds. The rook is put back into place, the game forgotten yet still in play between them, hovering somewhere between check and checkmate. It’s what he’d expected for Ansem to say. But his brother is subject to his nature once more, choosing the dramatic play than what is reasonable. Even now when he sees not a shadow creature, but a man worn down with only exhaustion in his counterfeit bones.  

It plucks at a string within his heart that rings a discordant note. Disquiet floods Xemnas’ veins as sure and unsteadying as adrenaline. It vibrates between them, the same note that hums and stretches. The shared thought and the shared feeling: the crushing knowledge of how meaningless it is. He doens’t care and it would seem, of course, as it will always be, Ansem does not either.  

“I know.” A simple answer and Xemnas returns to the game. There’s very little point in doing nothing else otherwise. What have they left to do now? “But it was never happiness that I wanted.”

this ot3 is gonna be wild

a game of ships // accepting // @kahemo

Ship that is unpopular but you still like:  

start here x

@kahemo ☆

    ❝    very  bold  of  you  to  use  that  word ,     ❞     he  says  it  without  malice , staring  her  down . it  was  true , there  was  nothing  more  selfish  and  self - entitled  than  his  own  self , not  that  he  actually  cared . he  had  the  power  and  will  to  get  what  needed  to  be  done  done , he  could  create  for  himself  what  needed  to  be  created     –     so  long  as  there  wasn’t  a  pest  sticking  thorns  into  his  side , that  is .     he  thinks  about  her  statement  very  carefully , milling  it  around  before  finding  that  there’s  really  nothing  of  interest  within  it . what  a  very  human  desire  for  something  that  was  supposed  to  just  be  an  empty  puppet , a  failed  experiment  crafted  for  his  brothers  attention , and  that  fascinated  him  far  more  than  anything . of  course  the  idea  that  they  had  known  every  little  piece  within  the  heart’s  puzzle  is  pure  folly , and  her  sentience  is  not  exasperatingly  frustrating … merely  new  information  to  soak  in  and  absorb .

     ❝     such  fickle  desires , such  foolish  whimsy . you  wish  to  be  cherished ? but  the  hearts  of  others  are  so  quick  to  change  on  the  flip  of  a  coin , it  is  hardly  worth  your  time . it  will  get  you  no  where .     ❞    was  that  his  way  of  giving  advice ?   ❝     better  to  speak  to  a  selfish  man  than  to  have  to  surrender  yourself  to  the  desires  of  others  just  for  a  hug  or  two .    ❞

A mile or three dozen off the beaten track Xion found a world at the edge. At the edge of the end, sinking into the abyss, black night falling on starless sky. This world’s moon was obliterated, nothing but broken asteroids in final orbit, crashing in fireballs to a barren wasteland. Life on the planet twisted to monstrous shape, blasted away by an unforgiving sun and flood; The darkness cracked their fragile hearts like glass. Xion did not anticipate finding a conversationalist here. 

This was not a man, and also, not a heartless; Both, or neither, or some combination. Xion’s curiosity chased itself in circles trying to puzzle him. Old memories, long lost in some corner of her consciousness screamed familiarity. Silver hair and tan skin, the occasional exaggerated the gesture. The burnished gold eyes that cut through the shadows, simmering with unspoken apathy and yet rage. 

Why would she admit, in a world of no one else but them, that she was lonely? having walked too long, away from the corners of civilization and people; Where kindness was a forgotten feeling. But if she was out here, forsaken, then what did that make him?

the worst, basically / @kahemo

YOU KNOW THAT’S ANOTHER CONCEPT I DON’T GET?? THIS APPARENTLY COMMON IDEA THAT AXEL IS A SLUT AND SOMEHOW THAT MUCH OF A JERKFACE PEOPLE TURN HIM INTO A CHEATER TOO??? THE CONCEPTION HE’S APPARENTLY THAT SHITTY A FRIEND HE WOULD ACTIVELY ABUSE THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT LIKE THAT?? AND NOT JUST THAT BUT THEN THEY PROJECT THE SAME IDEAS ONTO LEA?? LEA WHO CARRIES SO MUCH GUILT AND REGRET OVER WHAT HE’S DONE?? WHO TOLD SAIX ON THE CLOCKTOWER THAT HE STILL COUNTS SAIX AMONG HIS BEST FRIENDS AND WANTS TO BRING HIM BACK JUST LIKE ROXAS AND XION???

listen to each their own damn interpretation,  but every time i see shit like this i wanna contact the op of the post or fic or meme or what have you and ask if they’ve somehow watched the same game as me?? listen,  i’ll accept that perhaps as axel he would try and push saix’s buttons in such a way, but that’s because it comes from a place of bitterness and resentment and a jealousy of his own and it’s Totally Not Okay and something he should and would realize as lea. lea who has apologized to kairi, who seems actively regretful over how shit went down with the sea salt trio,  who pushed himself back into a war he just got out of to save his friends —— you really think that lea would be that much of an abusive jackass to use isa’s insecurities against him LIKE THAT?? 

not on my fucking watch. lea is actively trying to be better. lea wants to atone and redeem himself. lea loves his friends and will be more loyal to them than axel, because he’s not trapped in the same emotionally toxic environment that axel was in and he’s surrounded by people that help and support him. lea would never cheat and he sure as fuck wouldn’t use isa’s securities against him unless he feels threatened or cornered and lashes out and then he would feel shitty about it later.  he sure as shit wouldn’t do it to get railed harder, jfc.