#kagekanecavi

Happy pride!!

YOOO I've seen that one! It's incredible!!

it's so good-- someone in one of my discords is stitching it, and I'm always blown away by how good each panel looks

There's something especially malicious about taking something someone used to love and terrifying them with it.

Content warning for panic attacks and allusions to abuse (since Juno panics about Sarah and Jack)!

(From this prompt list)

“You’re home. You’re safe.”

—

It lasts less than a second.

Buddy has herded the crew to the couch for a stream night. At Rita’s behest they’ve pirated a stream service with a wide range of channels; she flips through their selection at a superhuman pace. Juno catches a glimpse of some kind of sports channel; a nature documentary; a kid’s channel…

And then there’s the flash of a red cape—the swell of heroic music over the half-words,

“—Good guys al—”

Rita U-turns to the last channel, but the damage has been done. Panic doesn’t surge through Juno so much as become him. He scrambles off the couch. Rita calls after him, but he makes a garbed excuse about snacks and flees.

Juno can feel his pulse throb through his arms and his legs and his neck as he stalks down the hall. He reaches his room on rickety legs and lets the door snik shut behind him.

Juno is forty years old, and he wants to collapse onto the bed and curl up like a child.

Hell, there’s no one around to see. He does.

It doesn’t help. No matter how hard he focuses on the texture of the sheets, or the smell of the room or the glow of the night cycle lights, Juno can’t drown out that horrible voice: The good guys always win. The good guys always win. The good guys…

In a vague way Juno understands there are people outside his door. A hushed discussion takes shape between—ah. Rita and Nureyev. 

Juno knows he’s not four anymore. He knows Jack is dead, and he’s on a ship a million miles from Oldtown, and the crew doesn’t think he’s a worthless piece of shit. He knows Rita and Nureyev are on the other side of that door, not ma.

So why does he feel like he’s about to get the shit beaten out of him?

The door opens. Juno can’t restrain a full-body flinch; his eye screws shut. Rita gives one last harried whisper. Then her tiny, trademark footsteps patter away down the hall.

Juno doesn’t hear the door close, but the hallway light no longer stains his eyelid.

From across the room Nureyev murmurs, “Juno.”

Juno turns his face down against the sheets. He coils tighter into himself. 

There’s a pause. Socked feet graze the floor. The voice sounds much closer now—only a foot or two away. “What can I do to help?”

Juno doesn’t know how to respond to that. He shakes his head. It’s worse to keep his eye shut; he needs to see the bedroom to remember he’s still here. He dares to peek at Nureyev.

It should be proof enough that Sarah and Jack are gone, to see Nureyev knelt at his bedside. But Juno’s body doesn’t care about proof. He’s forty and he can take care of himself, but…

He has to protect—who? He has to stop him; her; them. He has to be good. He’s fucked up everyone’s lives. He’s about to get screamed at or hit. He starts to cry, and shame rakes hot lines up his chest.

“It’s like I’m there again,” he splutters. He covers his eye. “Half a fucking catchphrase and I feel like he’s about to—like Jack or ma—like Ben—”

Just tell them Turbo did it. Where’s Turbo now, Juno? Being good is always hard, Juno. I can count on—

Over the maelstrom Nureyev asks, “Juno, love. Would contact help or hurt?”

“Yes,” Juno says. Little monster, little monster, little monster. “I mean—I—please—”

Nureyev stands. For a horrible moment Juno expects him to turn around and leave—but then the mattress dips. Nureyev lies down so they’re face to face. Juno grips a bundle of sheets between two fists, his hands drawn close to his chest. An arm reels Juno closer, slow and steady. One hand sneaks under Juno’s arm and finds purchase between his shoulder blades; the other comes up to fill the gap between the mattress and Juno’s cheek.  

Juno shudders. His fingers go lax around the sheets. Nureyev rests their foreheads together and whispers,

“It’s all right, darling.”

“I’m sorry. Fuck. This is so stupid—”

“It’s not stupid at all.” Nureyev ducks down to kiss Juno’s temple. “There’s no need to be sorry. It’s going to be all right. You’re home. You’re safe.”

Juno’s heart and blood and brain beg to differ, but the closeness helps. With Nureyev’s hand on his cheek; his arm around his back; their foreheads pressed together, the endless loop of the good guys always win and little monster starts to skip. Juno’s eye flutters shut, and this time he doesn’t see his childhood bedroom.

FWIW, guys, I started building the poll. It should be live in a day or two. It’ll be mostly self-sustaining but I’ll try to format it for readability as I can. And I’ll recc it out on Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and perhaps the first week in December. 

cathain852 replied to your post “Fandom Gift Shop Directory”

if they are fandom related goods, a list of available fandoms would be helpful

Ooh, good one, added! 

wingedspirit replied to your post “Fandom Gift Shop Directory”

Also, as a buyer, I would like to know where they're located, both for the sake of expedient shipping (getting something within a few days if they're in the same country as I am, vs having to wait ages for it to come from overseas) and for the sake of avoiding "this is expensive, shipping will cost an arm and a leg, and then I'll have to pay customs charges on top of that".

Yeah, this seems pretty doable, at least in a “Where are you, do you ship outside your country” sense. Any more detail than that gets into a bit nitty gritty area, and is something that I think is better asked once you know you’re interested in their goods. 

voyageboots replied to your post “Fandom Gift Shop Directory”

If its a very large registry, some basic categories people could opt into would be helpful for sorting the sheet. Like crochet/knit goods, bags, jewerly, clothes, resin, etc. Also maybe price range like how google I can sort $ $$ $$$? Seconding the request for a binary yes/no custom orders column

The binary yes/no custom orders column is in, plus a “how to contact for commissions” question right after. I thought about putting the “what do you make” in categories, but I think at that point it starts to pigeonhole people too much, and the spreadsheet starts to get really ugly. I think people can probably word-search or scroll if there’s something super specific they’re looking for. 

Price range I tried to add, but it’s just...that’s such a subjective thing, what’s low price versus high price. I figure that’s some research people can do on their own a bit -- at least with the directory they can go back to it if they check someone’s prices and it’s too high for their budget. 

akela-nakamura replied to your post “Fandom Gift Shop Directory”

As a buyer I would want to know if they accept commissions/customization (Within reason, of course), and if they have a different form of contact for said commissions.

The second part I hadn’t thought of at first, good call. 

kagekanecavi

As a buyer I’d like to know the latest time I can order something for it to get to me in time for Christmas. I know people who, for example, use places like redbubble to make prints, mugs, shirts, et cetera for them would need to just direct you to the site’s policy, but there are some creators (like from Etsy) who might have individual policies

i ordered one too! they’re so effing adorable

d a n g e r o u s

VERY DANGEROUS

@zoombietonbo replied to your post “how many ink samples is too many….”

Can u really have too many ink samples tho?

listen. I’m at 19. and counting. I’m over the $80 mark (tho to be fair, like... $50 of those is a notebook and a pen. but still)! there’s gotta be a limit!!!

@kagekanecavi replied to your post “how many ink samples is too many….”

I love that website it's so dangerous to my wallet

It is indeed! I’m 30 today. I share the exact same birthday as Daniel Radcliffe, lol.