#kaeby

J: This is going to be a clusterf**ck. I’m calling it now.

A: Have a little faith!

K: So how are we going to do this? In what order are we gonna go?

J: Twitter asked that we do it in chronological order, by who’s been together the longest. (to L and K) We know they love you more, but this is a group effort.

C: (accusatory) Spotlight hogs.

K: Not on purpose!

C: (doubtfully) Uh-huh.

Z: Boys, play nice. So, to make sure we and all the nice people at home are all on the same page, that’s Jared and Ben, then Lana and I, then Connor and Evan, and Kaeto and Libby last.

B: We win!

K: You hate competitions.

B: We’re still winning.

J: (to camera) Do you see why I love him?

*cut*

Q: How long have you been together?

J: Two years? Two and a half?

B: Something like that, yeah. It was early 2015. Sometime in March.

A: June 3rd, 2015. 10:22 a.m. Zoe had been eighteen less than twenty-four hours.

Z: Aww, you remembered the time. And you waited until I wasn’t jailbait! Okay, Con?

C: Since what, mid-August last year?

E: Yeah, it was right before you went to rehab for the last time.

C: No mind-altering substances and no boyfriend. Double torture.

E: But worth it?

C: (fondly) Like you wouldn’t f**king believe.

Z: *gags* Are you guys done being gross?

C: For the sake of not making this video three hours long, yes.

J: Kaeto and Libby’s turn!

L: What was the question?

J: ‘How long have you been together?’

L: Not long. Since what, early September? More towards the middle? There wasn’t an exact day.

K: I wrote it down, but I can’t remember exactly right now.

Q: What was your first impression of the other?

B: “Why is he smiling like that?”

J: “He’s looking at me like I’m a weirdo but it’s f**king adorable.”

A: “Green hair? That’s someone braver than me.”

Z: “This girl is so nice. How is she friends with my brother? How am I friends with my brother?”

C: Well, fuck you, too.

E: That better not be your official answer.

C: That better not be yours.

(E and C stick their tongues out at one another)

C: But for real, the first thing I remember was like, first grade, maybe? You were always really quiet at school, but then one day your mom came to pick you up after school, and she had this Golden Retriever with her. You lit up a like a g**damn Christmas tree and barreled right into that dog. After that, I always subconsciously kept a list of things that made you happy.

E: Is it still there in your head?

C: Yep.

E: You think it’s accurate?

C: I’d bet my life on it.

E: Well, are you item number one?

C: (blushing slightly) Don’t you have your own f**king question to answer?

E: [referring to ‘first impression’ question] You were always a dark cloud over a room.

C: (sarcastically) Thanks, babe.

E: But you know how I love gloomy days!

L: You two are actually sickening. I’m going to puke.

E: It’s your turn to answer.

L: Nooo, it’s gonna make me seem bitchy.

K: My first impression of you was that you were kind of a bitch.

L: Okay, I feel less bad about it now.

K: Now I don’t wanna hear it.

J: Just spit it out!

L: My first impression of Kaeto - and I warned you that it’s not the best - was “who the fuck is still wearing a giant maroon jacket at the end of May?”

[the kids wince]

Z: Yeah, I can see how you wouldn’t want to share that one.

L: And screw you all for making me say it.

*cut*

Q: When was your first kiss?

J: Like, three minutes after we established that I was not in any way joking about liking him and was dead serious when I said I wanted to date him.

B: (grinning) I have terrible self-esteem and think everyone hates me!

[Michi, laying with her head in his lap, reaches up and licks his cheek]

B: Thanks, Michi.

Z: We kissed for the first time maybe two weeks before we started dating (with air quotes) “officially” or whatever. And then it was another three weeks before we actually told anyone.

A: And by told anyone, you mean being forced to tell the truth after your roommate walked in on us making out.

Z: Yeah, she never talked to me again after I got assigned a new dorm.

A: Connor? Evan?

[they shift uncomfortably]

C: It’s really sappy and kind of personal.

E: Yeah.

J: Alright, you’re allowed to keep it vague.

E: It was like when we got together, in that it was right before Connor went into rehab, but this was literally right before.

C: (nodding) Yeah, I think that’s a good way to put it. Let’s just leave it at that; it’s a story for another video.

E: Yeah. Kaeto?

K: I know what the next question is gonna be, and it ties in with this one, so we’re gonna skip and get back to it in a bit.

L: Yay! Less talking!

*cut*

Q: Who said “I love you” first.

Z: Ooh! I vote we let Kaeto and Libby go first just to settle the anticipation.

E: Zoe, we set up an order. We have to stick to it.

A: Or else society crumbles.

E: Exactly.

Z: (grumpily) I can’t believe I chose the two of you as my favorite humans.

J: Can we go now?

C: Please do.

B: It was Jared. I made him do it.

J: That’s...not far from the truth, actually. I mean, you guys all know this, but the people watching might not, so I should explain that a lot of communicating with Ben requires total bluntness and honesty. It makes you really aware of everything you say and do, as well as often forcing you to really analyze or actions. And for me, who’s socially inept and a self-centered dick, it’s been really helpful to be able to acquire this awareness.

L: Aww, Jay, I don’t think you’re a socially inept, self-centered dick.

J: (flatly) Lib, I’m telling a f**king story. And that’s literally what Asperger’s is.

[caption reading “it is and it isn’t” appears at the bottom of the screen momentarily]

J: (more light-hearted) Anyway, when I realized I was in love -

L: Awww

J: - shut the f**k up - with Ben, I kind of freaked out a little bit. It was all internal, so I did start acting weird, Ben picked up on it, worried he’d done something wrong, and then started freaking out himself.

B: (grinning) I’m crazy like that.

J: Nah. But I had to simultaneously calm him down and deal with the fact that I was scared out of my mind because I’d never told someone who wasn’t family that I loved them before. It was a big, emotional mess and I’m glad it’s over and that we’re still here.

[B nods in agreement and leans his head on J’s shoulder]

A: In the case of Zoe and I, I’m pretty sure it was actually me who said it first.

Z: Yeah, it was one of those cases where it slips out on accident over something kind of mundane. Do you remember what it was?

A: You fed my cats so I could sleep in and then brought me Ovaltine.

C: You never tell me you love me after I feed your cats.

A: That’s because you complain the whole time! Jared steals all my Ovaltine, but at least he’s nice to my cats.

C: We are not having the cat argument again right now!

E: (laughing) Hey, Connor, I just realized that not only did you say “I love you” first, but you did it right after our first kiss.

J: You two moved way too f**king fast.

Z: Give the boys a break, they were holding onto three consecutive years of romantic and sexual tension.

E: You do realize that you’re implying that even while you and I were -

Z: I knew it as soon as I said it, but I’m not gonna take it back.

E: Okay, then. Kaeto, now are you going?

K: (nods) Yeah. So, it was -

L: (interrupting) Kaeto said it first, then I proceeded to grab his face. Not even ten seconds in between and way less sappy than these two losers (points at C and E).

J: (shudders) Why do you have to say everything so bluntly?

L: Why do you have to take such issue in the way I do things?

*cut*

Q: What’s your favorite trait about the other?

B: Jared puts a unique but positive perspective on everything. Except for when he doesn’t, but pure optimism is bad for the soul.

J: Definitely his butt.

[a stuffed rabbit flies from behind the camera and hits J on the head]

J: Sorry, Lily. I was kidding. But really, I’m going to go with either his smile or the way he indirectly forces me to see the world differently and think a bit more before I speak.

A: Zoe takes everything in stride, but not in a way that embraces chaos, per se. She can be met with a problem or situation that seems chaotic or plain overwhelming, but has no issue taking a step back and finding order in it. I don’t do super well with disorganization and chaos, and she’s helped me have more faith in myself when faced with it.

Z: Lots of people have pointed out that I’m basically dating Hermione, and that’s literally the greatest thing anyone could ever say to me. I was obsessed with Hermione as a kid, although I think everyone expected me to want to be like her, not date her. Whoops.

C: For me, Evan is kind of a calming presence, so I’m at ease with him around and having a stabilizing force has really been helpful as I’ve been going through recovery. He’s also very aware of others, which can be his fatal flaw when it makes him ignore himself, but I’ve found it really helpful. Oh, and he makes me go outside. I like going outside, but I need someone to force me to do it a lot of the time. It works out.

E: Connor makes me put myself first in situations where my concern is generally elsewhere. And he draws on sticky notes and leaves them all over the house, which never fails to make me smile. A walking partner is always nice, too.

C: I forgot to mention that you’re a space heater. Sleeping next to you in the winter is the best.

E: And the rest of the year?

C: Well, then it’s just you that’s the best.

Z: (pretends to gag)

L: I would like to set the record straight and inform everyone that my boyfriend has the softest freaking lips I have ever encountered in addition to the best dog on the planet. What else do you need?

K: (shrugs) I’ll take it. I don’t think I necessarily have a part of Libby that I like more than the rest, though. It’s a mix of features and traits that came together just so to make her who she is, and that’s someone I love who love me in return and makes me happy simply by being.

[L hugs K and peppers his face with kisses]