Aug 28, 2025
my dad passed away earlier today. nothing feels real. probably wonāt be on here much cause it doesnāt seem important. will probably be reachable on discord (but maybe not who knows).
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my dad passed away earlier today. nothing feels real. probably wonāt be on here much cause it doesnāt seem important. will probably be reachable on discord (but maybe not who knows).
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Skating Lessons update and more
Just need to be accountable so Iāll be posting the next chapter of Skating Lessons Saturday.
Iāve also been convinced to finish my finish my unfinished Josh as a dad fic...plus Iāve gotten inspo for the Seggy one. I know I normally write more and Iām going to try to hammer through some of the longer asks in the next few weeks.
My life has been insane and big decisions need to be made in 2020. Trying not to project that in my writing which is why some asks sit in my inbox waiting for the right mood.
i got sent a link to a post where some 81s are talking shit about me, calling me hateful and a birch for the way I talk to people, especially those who send me asks. I took a bit of time to think about it and i just want it to be known that while i do not tolerate people sending me anonymous hate, calling me a bitch, or talking about my child, i do in fact embrace people anonymously messaging me in every other way.
want to talk about lando or carlos? please send me a message. want to vent about racing or real life things? please send me a message. want to scream about a movie you just saw, a book you read, or a song you just heard? please send me a message. want to scream about carlando? please send me a message.
i may not be the quickest to reply (and i often forget and iām truly sorry for that) but i will read it and probably giggle or nod my head and think about it for an embarrassingly long time afterwards.
the anonymous inbox is a beautiful thing when itās used for good. so if youāve got thoughts, feelings, chaos, theories, or emotional damage to share, my door is wide open.
just donāt be weird about my kid or call me names, yeah? otherwise, scream into my inbox all you like.
I know this is friendly territory (or just about) so Iām gonna have a little personal vent
Prefacing by saying that i I love my son more than life itself and I am the happiest Iāve ever been in my life.
Having said that, being a solo parent is hard. Itās not harder than I thought it would be but actually preparing for it vs doing it is just a whole other ballgame.
I have zero time for myself. I spend the days revolving around him (heās 8 months old so duh) and then when I think I can maybe relax during the evenings he starts refusing bedtime. For the past few days Iāve spent an hour breastfeeding him to sleep only for him to wake up 15 minutes later crying. I then take him to my bed where he spends the next two hours not falling asleep. If I put him back in the crib he starts crying and crying and crying.
All I want to do is just sit down and write. I had a story written, promised myself I wouldnāt start posting until after I finished it but like always I have zero self control and started posting when I had 14 chapters written thinking I would have time to finish it while posting what had already been written. Well Iām the fool cause I have one full chapter left to post and I havenāt written a god damn thing.
I was gonna do that tonight. Sit down with some sweets and just write. Instead, Iām in bed cause itās 22:42, M has been asleep for ten minutes and heās still almost EBF so heās gonna wake at least twice tonight to feed and then be wide awake at 6 am like usually so I canāt stay up late otherwise Iāll be a zombie tomorrow. And literally no one around me gives a shit, talking about thatās just how it is when you have a baby while all the time they had a partner to help them with the difficult parts and here I am doing everything alone.
Anyways just had to get this off my chest even though I know no one will read this.
i normally don't post these things but my cousin (first cousin) has been missing since friday and the police have put out a bolo for her and i would just really appreciate some positive thoughts out in the cosmos š¤
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actually believe in a god now
my cousin has been missing for a week. her bag was found at a popular nature area about 3 kilometres from her home. she did not bring her phone or wallet with her. things are not looking good but all we have is hope so thatās what iām holding on to
iām exhausted. iām not ignoring anyone and havenāt āabandonedā lando (a weird and very passive aggressive anon i got) iām just legit exhausted and i donāt know the time frame of when Iāll not be exhausted anymore. in the meantime i wonāt be on here cause social media is double exhausting.