#jwrites

          “Hey, pumpkin” Gabriel said as he walked into your shared room, interrupting you from reading up on monster lore. You mumbled a hey but disregarded what he was doing, trying not to lose your place.

         “What’re you reading?”

          You sighed, put down your book and looked at Gabe. “Monster lore” you replied, quick and jabbing. How else are you supposed to put it? Gabriel looked offended but he should know by now you don’t like being interrupted.

           You almost instantly regretted thinking that, knowing how pompous you sounded. You got up to grab yourself a drink, a fail-safe for moments like this.

          One swig and most would be numbed out feeling the liquor move like warm, rich, honey down your throat.

         Gabriel grabbed your arm, “Can we talk? Please?” and you immediately knew he was either going to smite you or break up with you. You’d seen the look before.

“Why is it so hard for you to just act like you like me?”

You were dumbfounded.

“What do you mean?”

          “I try to talk to you, you push me away. The simplest of subjects, asking what you’re reading, and you reply with a sigh and then tell me as if I’m supposed to know exactly what you’re reading.” Gabriel replied, looking frustrated.

You didn’t know how to reply other than be defensive, which isn’t ever good.

          “I don’t see the problem, you interrupted me”  

         You didn’t know Gabriel could muster such a hurt face, but apparently, his face can contort that way.

“I love you, Y/N. why is it so hard for you to love me back?”

“Gabe, it was just interrupting a book, why are you making a big deal out of me sighing? Sorry I have to breathe.”

        Gabriel looked like he was contemplating what to say.

        “It’s all the time, Y/N, I’ll want to spend time with you and you push me away.” Gabriel said to you, and it felt like a stab to the heart.

         “It’s hard for me, you know, I don’t usually have anyone looking out for me. I’ve had to look out for myself since I was a child, you know that” you said, finally breaking down.

         “Y/N, I get that, I do. But you’re going to have to help me out here… I can’t be the only one putting effort in. You understand that every time I talk to you, it’s a huff or some sarcastic remark, there’s never love when you talk. I come to you like a puppy and you kick me away as if I did anything wrong to you and don’t deserve to be near you. It’s a year today. You didn’t even notice, either.” Gabriel finished with getting up, and pulling you over to him.

        You were sad, you wanted to cry and hit something at the same time. He’s right, you didn’t notice. It was a year since you two decided to get together and be committed. You hugged him closer.

       “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to do this, to push you away it’s just natural for me to push people away so they don’t get hurt. I’m sorry. I do love you, I do want us to stay but I just don’t know how to trust you completely and more-so, trust that you’ll be okay loving me” you said before Gabriel spoke,

        “I’m an archangel, sweetheart, I don’t think you could’ve found someone more competent in protecting themselves and you, than me.” Gabriel said with a little hop in his voice that made you hopeful you wouldn’t be sad for long, you hated being vulnerable.

       “I know. I know…hopefully I can stop being so aggressive with you all the time” you said and laughed a little, knowing that was a damn lie.

      “Woah, hold the train, I like you aggressive sometimes. How else are we going to have sexy times if you aren’t aggressive? I don’t need a cinnamon bun in the bedroom... you do taste just as sweet though” Gabriel said, smiling at you.

“Oh, whatever” you said and rolled your eyes.