#jwnives

The wave of new age teenage girl insecurities created by the popularity increase of plastic surgery and unattainable beauty standards has made me think, hard.

I've struggled with being insecure, being ashamed of how my nose looks, how my glasses sit on my face, how my hair looks, etc. But something changed in me one day, it's like a flip switched in my mind when I realized, I'm hot as shit.

Yes, I've struggled with insecurity, but I've invented this almost impenetrable mindest that's helped me shake off those thoughts fast.

So here's how to develop, "The Violet Mentality,"

1.) Never let a man;

Degrade you, you are above him. No matter who him is. You are a woman, possibly the strongest creature in the world. You have so many advantages to your gender that you can't even begin to count. Of course society might make you think you're less than, that's because they know if they keep telling us we are, we'll start believing it. But I don't, what makes a man better than me? Really, what can a man do that a woman hasn't 10x over? Men are pigs, don't forget that.

2.) Bad thoughts create good goals.

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others, thinking of how much your life would "be better" if you looked like her or made as much money as her, get off your ass and stop moping. You want to look like her? Work for it. You want to make money like her? Work for it. No matter how much sweat and tears it takes, you can't consistently bitch and moan about something you make no move to change. If it's changeable, you can fix it. If it's not, just let it fly. Sometimes you need to remember everyone is different, no one was blessed with "good genes" because every gene is a good one, you just don't know how to use your assets, speaking of;

3.) Work what your momma gave you.

I believe everyone is beautiful, cliché I know, but it's true. Everyone is beautiful but not everyone knows how to tap into their true beauty. If you choose to, make the effort to do your eyebrows, get your hair done, do your nails, make yourself look good. But don't do it to make someone else happy, do it for yourself. Trying to change physically for someone else is exhausting, and you're already good enough.

4.) Stop caring what others think about YOU.

Stop caring what others think, be loud, sleep with whoever you want (safely), do yoga, order that steak on the first date, just stop caring. This doesn't give you an excuse to act like an absolute abomination in public, but it's an excuse to just be yourself. Be free, once you stop caring, you'll notice you'll feel a lot lighter.

And last but not least, five.

5.) Remember who you are.

Most of my insecurities stemmed from looking at non-black girls and wishing I looked like them, wishing my hair was straighter, my nose was smaller, my eyes were bigger, and it was a drag.

Every race is beautiful, no one is better than another, fuck society, you're sexy as you are.

You're confident, hot, happy, and thriving. If you don't want to change, then don't.

You're already fine as fuck, don't forget that. Confidence is a woman.

@jwnives_ on twitter