#justicemuffins

you may as well have just tagged me

carolofthebears

seriously though, Skye's whole approach to everything is so unhealthy

she used to wear her heart on her sleeve, and she still does, but now she tries to hide it under an armor of what she believes to be the perfect SHIELD agent, what she believes people want from her 

what she believes will stop her from getting her heart broken again 

so she follows orders without question, she plays at being the "good little soldier" 

I honestly can't extrapolate what a modern Hogwarts would be like, because it's based on a school system that I've never engaged with and is really damn uncommon here. Like, I think there was some toxic shit going on in that school but there does seem to be a generational aspect to the discord between students. In the books there's definitely the past war colouring how people read situations and interact with one another. Would that be repeated after the second conflict with Voldemort? 

Because I think the environment you're in influences the kind of social movements you think have worth. Of the few Slytherins we get to know in the books, I can really imagine them being the kind of people who think that THEY are oppressed because THEY are the ones dealing with all these negative stereotypes and THEY are the ones who have to travel in groups just to feel safe from the jeering and bullying of other students. Of course, the same characters we know well also seem to be from privileged (at the time) families. I do agree that Slytherins have a focus on fraternity, which is why I think that their feminism would only extend to the areas that are relevant to them.

Across the table Melinda and Skye both shot him identical worried expressions and Phil just smiled tersely in return. He couldn't hide his symptoms from them, not when they were constantly watching him. Steve had told him that it just meant they cared, and while the thought gave Phil some sort of comfort, it also made him feel bad. He's never been able to accept that people worry about him, especially family members. 

Melinda cocks her head to the direction of the hall, and Phil takes the hint and politely excuses himself from the team dinner, and makes his way slowly to his office. Happy that the lights in the hall were dimmer than the ones in the communal kitchen. 

Once he's in his office he closes the door with a sigh and leans his head against the door. Being Director meant he had a lot of work to do, the amount of papers on his desk was reaching deforestation levels, and Phil knew that he should just sit down and get to work; but the thought of trying to even read at the moment just made him nauseous.

Decision made, Phil worked on getting himself more comfortable. Rolling up his sleeves, and taking off his tie, all the while ignoring the tremor in his hands.

He sits down on the couch in the corner of his office, and leans back against the cool leather, enjoying the silence and willing his migraine to go away.

Phil isn't sure how long he's there, but he awakens from a doze when his phone rings, and he picks it up without looking.

"So Skye called me," Is Steve's greeting, and Phil can't help but smile despite the pounding in his head. "She said you looked like you were going into another- ah...episode soon." 

"Migraines tend to be a warning sign," Phil admits quietly into the phone. There was a time not to long ago where he would have denied any weakness, but he has long since learned not to argue with the people who gave a damn about him - Steve's words, not his. "My hands are shaking too." 

There's a sigh on the other end of the phone, and Phil just closes his eyes, wishing that the man on the other end was there in person, but also being glad that he wasn't hear to witness Phil breaking down. 

"We have people working on it Phil," Steve reminds him gently, but doesn;t add on to the subject. They both know that without having any of the serum itself, its going to be hard to fix whatever it was that was broken with Phil. They ignored the fact that they were running out of time. "And Skye has made progress with the map. We'll get you there Phil, just have faith." 

"I know Steve," Phil replies, not really agreeing. He doesn't want to argue though, and its been days since he's heard Steve's voice, he sure as hell isn't going to start an argument now. He changes the subject, "How have you been?" 

"I've been alright. Sam and I have a new lead on Bucky, but we're stopping at Stark's first, he says he has something that might be able to help." Steve sounds tired, but relatively alright on the other line, and it brings Phil some comfort. "I miss you." 

"I miss you too," Phil says, gripping his phone tighter in shaking hands. He can practically see Steve's answering smile, and the mental image is so much better than strange alien carvings. 

There's a crash on the other end of the line, followed by what sounds like Stark and Sam cursing and Phil laughs at Steve's incredulous sounding sigh. 

"I think something just blew up, I should check it out-" Steve says, sounding apologetic. "Take care of yourself Phil. Don't be afraid to tell the team when you need a break." 

There's a short pause, followed by a quiet, "I love you."