#justcallmelil

You ended things because she didn’t fulfill your needs. You wanted something that’s more than “how your day’s been” and “wyd” talks. You loved her so much, that you had to set her free.

When you told me how sad you were, how lonely you felt without her, how empty life feels now that she’s gone..... fuck, I cried, literal tears, and I haven’t cried for months now. I felt more sad for you, for losing the one you love, rather than being sad for myself, for watching the one I love, love someone else.

Today in class we were asked to write a poem, or a song about love. “It can be to a lover, about hating love, or about what love makes you feel, anything you want it to be” the teacher instructed. My mind went straight to the thought of you. Your brown eyes, and the way they sparkle whenever you talk about the music you like. The way you move your hands when you’re talking passionately about Kanye’s newest album, or your family. And your strong arms, that you’ve been working so hard on that lately. For 20 minutes I’ve been sitting there, thoughts of you running through my mind, memories of little moments we’ve shared thoughtout the years of knowing one another. When it was my turn to read my poem, “I’ve got nothing”, was all that came out my mouth, as I was looking down at my paper, scribbling your name on it.

I used to wait for your name to light up my phone, and now when it happens, it’s usually half past eleven and you’re just lonely. Now it’s usually at 2:47PM, when your girlfriend’s busy and you’re looking for a bit of entertainment. I guess that you text me whenever you’re bored, whenever life gets a little too dull...... when life starts feeling a bit like nothing. I want to believe that you text me ‘cause you’re missing me, ‘cause you’re missing my jokes and how I used to take the piss at you. You’re probably missing my self desctructive humor, and the way my eyes used to light up whenever you said my name, how I used to answer after a second, never leaving you on read. I used to spend days and nights waiting for you name to appear on my phone screen, now I can’t wait for you to stop.

“From talking on a daily basis to radio silent. From tagging each other on Instagram memes and laughing over nothing, to smiling that sad smile when we see each other. I hate what we’ve become, and I always thought we’d never be like this. But we are. We are like this.