#justawanderer

She’d been walking by his side all afternoon, close enough that if his hand outstretched, his fingertips might touch hers. A stark contrast to Alya and Nino, who’d been glued together at every possible instant. Whether it be walking with their arms loosely linked together, or a nudge of their ankles as they smiled playfully at one another across a cafe table, it seemed the two of them couldn’t stand to be apart even for a moment.

And then there was Marinette. So close he could feel her body heat and smell the hint of sugary sweetness that seemed to permeate her clothes no matter how long she spent out of the bakery. So close, and yet he didn’t dare to reach out and close the gap, even though he’d done it thoughtlessly so many times before.

The day he’d found out her secret, it was like a switch had been flipped. His partner, his other half, his Ladybug, was right by his side and he couldn’t bring himself to break the invisible barrier she’d put up between them. They hadn’t so much as shaken hands ever since they’d learned of each others’ identities, both too afraid to initiate, afraid the implications and secrets and feelings might all come flooding out in an uncontrollable rush.

But that unmistakable slip of the tongue, those simple words, finally seemed to chip away at her shield.

“I know what you mean,” she replied softly, the chill of winter making each puff of air visible.

But even then, he hadn’t meant it exactly the way he’d said.

Sure, the idea of mutual feelings and a comfortable familiar relationship was, on the surface level, exactly what he longed for. But in a sense, he already had that. With Marinette. No, with Ladybug.

The countless times they’d fought side by side, wholly trusting each other with their lives, constantly making the other their top priority, never once doubting the unspoken loyalty and companionship that made them the perfect duo.

And that sentiment still rang true outside of the suits, at least somewhat. Marinette, who had made his most treasured birthday gift and defended his honor against Lila and constantly put her own feelings aside for his sake.

There was no doubt, of course she felt the same way about him. He’d been blind not to see it before.

Anyone else would feel lucky. But Adrien just felt lost. Ever since the truth came out, they were stuck at a stalemate, not knowing how to proceed. Too afraid to put their partnership at risk for the chance of something greater.

Adrien pulled his scarf tighter, the sting of the winter wind biting as his face as the four of them wound through the city streets, taking in the sights and sounds of lights and laughter. He noticed the way Marinette tucked her gloved hands further into her pockets for warmth and wished he could intertwine their fingers together, the way Nino and Alya did a few paces ahead of them.

If only it were that easy.

That thought alone almost made him laugh. He’d confessed his love for his Lady so many times he’d lost count. He’d attempted to kiss her just as many times. And twice, he’d been fortunate enough to succeed. Or at least that’s what he’d been told, though luck would have it, he didn’t actually remember either instance.

And now the thought of even looking her in the eyes for a moment too long made his heart beat wildly, more so than ever before.

Yet he risked another glance in her direction anyway. And to his surprise, she was looking back.

Adrien froze in his tracks, utterly taken aback by her intense stare. Marinette stopped alongside him. She offered a small, awkward smile, which Adrien returned with a shrug.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” Marinette whispered. By now, Alya and Nino had trailed far ahead, two lovebirds so engrossed in one another that they hadn’t noticed the distance they’d made. Far enough away that they wouldn’t hear Adrien and Marinette’s hushed voices.

“So are you,” Adrien said. He laughed sadly. “It’s like we’ve forgotten how to talk to each other.”

Marinette broke eye contact, the pressure feeling like all too much at once. “Or maybe we have too much to say. And we don’t know where to begin.”

“Yeah,” Adrien replied after a beat. “That too.”

He stared at the ground, shuffling his feet aimlessly, kicking up layers of freshly fallen snow.

The perfect duo who couldn’t even hold a conversation. The cruel irony wasn’t lost on either of them.

“I’m sorry things are weird,” Adrien said, at which the same time Marinette muttered, “I’ve missed you.”

He blinked rapidly, trying hard to swallow the air caught in his throat. “What?” he sputtered.

Marinette took a step closer, her voice hushing even further, though their friends had put enough distance between them that they’d have no chance of overhearing. “You shouldn’t have to apologize. Neither of us could have seen this coming.”

“Well…” Adrien considered, “we could have if we were paying a little more attention.”

She tried and failed to stifle her laugh, the joyful noise feeling like a massive relief to Adrien, who’d been so afraid of saying the wrong thing or coming off as insensitive. He’d made the mistake of cracking a joke at an inappropriate moment far too many times.

“I guess you’re right,” Marinette smiled. “God, how could I have been so blind?”

Hesitantly, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re not the only one.”

To his surprise, she didn’t pull away. Instead, she stepped closer, pulling him into a sudden tight hug. His eyes widened as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her thin torso, the familiarity of her taking over. He relaxed into her, his chin resting atop her head.

With her so close and holding on so tight, the bitter chill of the evening air was snuffed out and forgotten entirely. They stayed there, locked in an embrace beneath the trees’ twinkling holiday lights overhead. Her warmth and her smell and sheer comfort of her presence warmed him from the inside out. Her sigh of relief, so loud and close to his ear, told him everything he needed to know. They were going to be okay.

He prayed she couldn’t hear the way his heart pounded. But, if it wasn’t his imagination, he was sure hers was beating just as quickly.

In the distance, underneath the whistling of the wind, Adrien thought he might have heard the sound of Alya and Nino’s footsteps stop. They were probably staring. He didn’t care.

After another moment that seemed never-ending yet still not long enough, he felt her begin to let go. She pulled away from him just enough to look him in the eyes.

“Sorry,” she smiled sheepishly, averting her gaze downward so that her eyelashes brushed her faintly red cheeks.

“Don’t be,” Adrien whispered. Then before he could let his fear take over, he asked, “What was that other thing you said?”

“Hm?”

“You said you missed me,” he raised a hand to her chin and gently tilted it up so that their eyes could meet once more. “But I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Her mouth fell open slightly, then closed again. Her words failing her, she resolved to simply nod.

Adrien took a deep breath, trying hard not to let her closeness distract him. “Things might be different now,” he continued, “but that just means we’ll work through it. Just like we always have. No pressure, no rush. And when we’re both ready, we can decide where to go from there. If that’s okay with you, of course.”

From the corner of his eye, Adrien could see his friends staring at them quizzically, both probably with a million questions running through their minds. But he didn’t dare look away from Marinette.

Slowly, after mulling over her thoughts, Marinette nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly, then louder, “Okay.”

That one word had been enough to quell all of his fears. No matter what dangers they faced or obstacles they had to work over, Chat Noir and Ladybug were partners. A team. A perfect duo. And nothing would get in the way of that.

And perhaps someday, Adrien and Marinette could be the same. For now, though, Adrien was happy to just have her by his side, facing the challenge of the bitter cold and the long walk home.