Sep 22, 2018
This is all I can see.
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This is all I can see.
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The way I was on call with a friend tonight, had a relatively decent conversation and was overall good! Hadn't talked to him in awhile!
But now, just before sleeping, I am thinking about going to work, anticipating every work pleasantly I have to put up with and the memorized script I say to clients over the phone and just...thinking... oh i actually have to verbalize all of this and say these words out loud and put in the emotional energy to fucking mask @ people at work so I don't come off too suspicious or rude for choosing to not interact with anyone π I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
And I know it's technically a bad thing to isolate myself as much as I do. Now I'm wondering if this...aversion to even exist and function as a person at work is like... a negative consequence of my choices...hmmm