Stanford, in a previous post you said you’ve ate way worse in the portal. May I ask what things you have ate that could’ve been horrible compared to the gorgon and eel meatloaf?
Ford: Having been drinking some Mabel Juice, he spits it out and coughs. Ford wipes his mouth properly on a napkin - unlike Stan who is sitting across the table just wiping his mouth on his sleeve while eating some fried chicken - and chuckles nervously.
Ah, well... that's... a fascinating question, Anon. Let's see... the weirdest thing I've eaten...
Ford gets a thousand yard stare of what must be decades of strange experiences, his eye occasionally twitching, looking a bit nauseous at some of the memories. Whatever he's remembering, it sure isn't anything Michelin 5 star. Or 1 star. Er... or 'questionable origin gas station sushi in the most disgusting reaches of the Multiverse' level edible, for that matter.
Realizing he's taking too long to answer, he chuckles nervously again.
Apologies, it's just... there were so many culinary delights that I-
Stan: He spits out a bone from the chicken he's eating and, looking quite unimpressed, he answers for Ford. Well, there's the time he ate a literal planet. Oh, or the time he had to eat the thousands of years dead corpses of some aliens where the only thing left on 'em by that point was their, er... "bottom" ends. Somethin' about bein' made of different stuff than us that makes 'em decompose slower, he said. He shrugs. Said it tasted like roasted dust and, well... ass, go figure. But that's not even the worst thing he told me. Because one time-
Ford: Looking rather pissed and embarrassed. Stan, we probably should just leave it at that. It was pure survival, nothing more. There was nothing else in that dimension for me to eat.
Stan: With a grin. Oh, you're sayin' I shouldn't talk about the "secretions" meal you had once?
Ford: Yes! That's precisely what we shouldn't talk about!
There's a long pause, where Ford looks ready to slaughter someone, and Stan is just smirking and chewing on his chicken without a care in the world. Then he shrugs and blurts it.
Stan: Long story short, it involved Ford, some starvation, and some fresh - what he called - "secretions" from-
Ford: Getting up from the table and ready to lunge. Can it, Stan! I was desperate! I'd have starved had I not-
Stan: He interrupts. What's that? He turns the camera of the laptop towards Ford's face. Is that a shit-eating grin I see on your face, Sixer?
It is definitely not a shit-eating grin. It's an "I'm going to turn my brother into taxidermy" one. At that, Ford actually lunges, and Stan cackles as he gets up and starts running with the laptop in hand, finishing his reply over the video.
Ha! I'm gonna tell 'em all your secrets, and you can't stop me!
Ford: IT WAS EDIBLE IN THAT DIMENSION, IT WAS NOT SHIT, AND I WAS STARVING!
Stan: Oh really? It came from the ass-end of somethin' weird. Sounds like shit to me!
Ford: SECRETIONS, Stanley! Like milk from cows!
Stan: What!? How is alien ass-udder juice any better!?
The view on the laptop from here on out is a mix of Stan cackling, Ford looking about ready to kill Stan, all set in a wobble of the camera bouncing as Stan runs with Ford in close pursuit behind him.
Stan: HE SAID HE LIKED IT, TOO! Ford: Incoherent rage noises.
