“I heard he’s really good in bed.”

“Captain Andor? Really?”

“Yeah, I heard he fucks like a rutting Gamorrean.”

“Ryka!”

“What?! It’s what I heard!”

“Well, I guess it’s true what they say about the quiet ones.”

“I heard he’s not exactly quiet when you’re sucking his dick.”

The two pilots continued their passage through the hangar, unknowingly passing Jyn who emerged from underneath the U-wing. Bodhi, who had also overheard the entire exchange, shot her a chagrined look.

“Uh, I’m sure it’s just idle gossip?” He shrugged his shoulders, concentrating hard on scouring the patch of carbon scoring he was working on.

“You got this under control, Bodhi? I gotta go.” Jyn began removing her gloves, passing the back of her hand across her sweaty brow. She didn’t want to admit to the twinge of jealousy that flared through her, but even more so, she didn’t want to admit that the pilots’ talk turned her on.

“Yeah sure I got this, go ahead.” Bodhi didn’t even look up, only because he knew exactly where she was headed, and after hearing the pilots’ talk, exactly what she was headed to do.

He’s back in town because he’s taking over his father’s business, which means she no longer has distance between them to use as a crutch.

He’s taking over his father’s business because he’s engaged and the chivalrous man that he is, he wants to support his new wife and future kids.

At the thought of kids, Anna’s heart clenches painfully, and she actually has to put a hand to her chest, and he notices and leans in so close to ask if she’s okay. She can only nod, because he’s so close she catches a faint whiff of laundry detergent, and his minty breath from the Altoids he loves so much.

They catch up over coffee, black for him, peppermint mocha for her, and she doesn’t miss the way he smiles so brightly at her, how his body is angled towards her, how he listens so intently when she speaks, his brow showing faint creases that she had never noticed before. She tells herself that it’s because he’s kind, that he’d always loved her stories, ever since they were kids, that she’s so animated when she talks that he can’t help but look at her like he does.

And oh, how he looks at her.

He walks her back to her house, like the gentleman that he is, walks her up the wide, winding driveway to the ornate front door of the sprawling manor, waves to her sister who comes to the door. She doesn’t want him to leave, not really, lingers in the doorway as he makes pleasant small talk with Elsa, but before she knows it Elsa is inviting him to dinner and she’s mortified.

Of course you can bring your fiancee, Elsa is saying, and Anna feels her stomach drop, but Kristoff scuffs the tip of his shoe against the step and says, somewhat awkwardly, oh I’m not engaged anymore, and Anna almost gets whiplash from how fast she turns her head to look at him. He’s still not looking at her, addressing her sister, but his whole body is now turned towards her, his eyes twitching, and when he gets a moment he glances her way.

How could she have ever mistaken that look for anything other than what it really is.

She’s a fool, always has been, and now she understands. He promises to return for dinner, says he needs to change and clean himself up. Anna watches him walk down the driveway and when he gets to the end he turns back. She permits herself a smile, and the one he answers her back with, wide and open and beautiful, makes her heart soar.

Later, she’s lying on her bed, waiting for him to return for dinner, wondering where she went wrong all those years of knowing him. Her phone beeps, and when she looks at it, it’s a text from Kristoff.

I feel I should explain, he says.

You don’t have to

I’d like to

Ok

I thought it was what I wanted, I thought I was in love with her, but I was wrong. I’ve been stupid my entire life

Don’t say that Kristoff

Anna it’s you, it’s always been you, I was too damn stupid to see it

The phone falls out of Anna’s hand and she can’t even pick it up again, she’s rooted to the spot and it’s only the sound of the doorbell that rouses her. By the time she gets downstairs, Elsa is already ushering him into the dining room, with a sideways glance at Anna and a quick twitch of her lips.

Elsa had known all along. Of course she had.

Dinner takes too long, Anna can’t bear to put food in her stomach that just keeps churning and won’t stop. Kristoff can’t stop looking at her across the table, can’t stop smiling, can’t stop blushing every time she catches him staring. Anna’s grown accustomed by now to the swoopy feeling in her stomach, and she’s surprised she makes it past dessert to finally give in. She pushes her chair back with a loud scrape against the hardwood floor, spares Elsa an apologetic look, before she grabs Kristoff’s hand and drags him upstairs to her room.

She wants to touch him, longs to feel his arms around her, but she restrains herself, and they sit side by side on her bed, talking long into the night. Their banter comes easily, it always has, and Anna finds herself moving even closer to him. They’ve always been affectionate with each other, as friends can be, but now, when it can be something more, Anna finds she wants it more than anything she’s ever wanted in her life. He slips an arm around her shoulder, and they lie back on the bed, but he doesn’t seem to want to take it further than that. They talk about everything, Kristoff explains his break-up, which had actually happened months ago. He had wanted to come back earlier, had wanted to tell her, but he admits to fear, and Anna understands. When he’d spoken about coming back, about telling her, Anna could hear the strain in his voice, and her heart had clenched at the thought of him suffering as much as she had. She wraps an arm around his waist and squeezes, and he gratefully squeezes her shoulder in turn.

They talk some more, but the hour is so late, and Anna can feel her eyelids falling heavy. She doesn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she wakes to his voice, soft against her ear.

I’ve missed you, Anna, he says, and she can hear the urgency in his voice. But his breath is hot against her skin, and she feels the warmth of it spread throughout her body. She’s suddenly so very aware of him pressed up against her, and although he doesn’t make a move, she can’t hold back anymore. She turns her body toward him, and he’s looking at her with that look again, eyes wide and open, a faint smile of wonder, and Anna surges forward. She kisses him awkwardly at first, too rough Anna!, but when he opens his mouth to her she loses all composure. Before she knows it, his hands are on her and her hands are on him, and fumbling hands loose clothing, and then her jeans are undone and rolled down her hips, and his hand is there, and she’s falling apart.

She knows his hands; work-worn and tough, but always gentle on her, steering her away from a fight, comforting her in a time of need, a happy tap on her knee when she’s said something funny. But this hand, this hand is rough, needy, it cups her where she is wanting, and she inhales sharply as his fingers push aside at her panties, already damp from her desire. She bites back a scream when his finger enters her, and when a second one dips in she bites her lip hard enough to taste blood. He makes her come, her name on his lips and her hands in his hair, and she kisses him passionately when she recovers from her high. She yanks down his own jeans, palms him over his boxers, and when he gasps she covers his mouth with hers, pushing him onto his back and pulling his boxers down. She hastily discards her own panties and jeans and straddles him, and before she takes him inside her she leans down, takes his face into her hands. He hasn’t stopped smiling (except when he was moaning her name), hasn’t stopped looking at her like she’s his world, and she pauses to take it all in. He takes one of her hands and kisses the palm, and Anna’s heart jumps into her throat. She bends down, kisses him softly on the lips.

I’ve wanted this for so long, she wants to say, but she can already see in his eyes that she doesn’t need to say a word. She guides his cock into her opening, and she’s so wet he slides in easily. Anna sucks in a breath as she takes him in, and when he’s seated all the way inside her she finally lets it out. Kristoff has his eyes closed, a look of intense concentration on his face, and she can’t help but touch a finger to the blond stubble on his chin. At her touch, he opens his eyes, and Anna can see the hunger, the need, the want. He sits up then, presses her body against his, and they find a rhythm with their hips that sends them both reeling. Anna throws her head back, the feeling of him almost overwhelming, the thought of him sending her over the edge. She wants to scream his name as he thrusts up into her, wants to pour out the emotion that’s flooding her at that moment. She grips his shoulders, hard, as she comes, and she can’t help but cry out then, and everything she’s felt all those years, and everything she’s been feeling suddenly overcomes her. She feels hot tears prickle her eyes and she buries her face in his neck, as he holds her tight to him.

Anna, he says, he’s been saying, I love you, I always have, and when he comes it’s with her name on his lips, like a prayer, a benediction. They collapse in a heap on the bed, but Anna can’t move her face from his neck, and when Kristoff feels the moisture of her tears he pulls her gently back.

The light was dim in Cassian’s quarters, but it was enough for Jyn to make out the outline of his frame, hunched over a datapad while perched on the edge of the bed. As her eyes adjusted to the low light she could finally see the contours of his face, brow creased, lips pursed, eyes scanning the screen. Jyn yawned loudly, stretched her petite frame to take up as much room in the bed as she could. Cassian didn’t move.

Briefly, Jyn considered leaving him alone and going back to sleep. He must’ve had a good reason to be awake in the middle of the night, maybe he got sent some important intel from Command to look at. But Jyn had woken from a dream, a very good dream, in which Cassian had played a prominent part.

She brushed her knee gently against his back, but he remained hunched over his datapad. She sighed heavily, rustling the sheets and then bunching them up against his back. Cassian made no sign of acknowledgment, and Jyn couldn’t take it anymore.

“Cassian.”

“Hm.”

“Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Researching. Haven’t been to this planet we’re going to tomorrow, just want to know what we’re getting into.”

“I’m sure Command wouldn’t send us somewhere they hadn’t checked into before.”

“Of course not, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

Throughout the entire conversation Cassian hadn’t looked up from his datapad once, and Jyn was getting increasingly frustrated. The buzz of arousal was starting to wear off, and she wanted to chase it before it went away completely.

She’d just have to take care of it herself.

She knew she was already wet, she could feel it between her legs, so she slipped her hand under the waistband of her underwear and dipped a finger in. It must’ve been a really good dream, because her finger came out soaked. She suddenly remembered the details of the dream, of Cassian’s hands on her, his fingers inside her. She didn’t waste any time, plunging a finger, then two, then three inside, stretching herself until it felt just like the dream. She bucked her hips as her fingers hit the spot, and in doing so her knee knocked against Cassian’s back.

The first and second time she knocked against him he didn’t move, but by the third time he finally grunted.

“Jyn, please.” He still hadn’t looked up from his datapad though. Jyn couldn’t take it anymore, ramping up the speed of her fingers, pushing them in as deep as she could.

“I… am… not… going… to stop… poking you… until… you… give me… some atten-- aaaaahhh!!!” She couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out, she had a hard enough time speaking as her orgasm built up and she finally came, clenching hard around her fingers. She let out a long breath when she came down from her high, and when she slipped her fingers out she realized she’d made quite a mess.

It finally got Cassian’s attention though. He had turned his entire body towards her, datapad long forgotten, and for once the intense look of concentration on his face wasn’t directed towards the screen.

“Do I finally have your attention?” she rasped, her throat hoarse from the scream her orgasm had elicited from her.

“You have my undivided attention,” he said in a low voice, and then he took her hand and sucked the fingers that had just been inside her. Jyn’s core throbbed as her arousal returned in full force, so she took his hand and slipped it between her legs. He cupped her mound, the heel of his hand pressing against her clit, his fingers rubbing her wetness.

“It’s not what you think!” he suddenly yelled, and startled, Jyn shrank back.

“Cassian?” she asked, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t have what you’re looking for, I really don’t have it,” he muttered, but as Jyn leaned forward she realized he wasn’t looking at her at all, his eyes glassy and unfocused. She grabbed the nearest droid and directed it towards Cassian.

“What’s wrong with him?” she demanded. The droid turned towards Cassian and checked his vitals.

“He is having a reaction to the medication. This is normal,” The droid intoned. “If you like, I can give him a sedative.”

Jyn was about to agree, but then Cassian seemed to recognize her, his face softening.

“Jyn? Is that you?” His voice was quiet, almost reverent, as his eyes widened at the sight of her. She waved the droid off, and the angry speech she had prepared for him suddenly didn’t seem so important.

“Yes, Cassian, it’s me.” She once more took her seat by his bed, and his eyes never left her as she moved.

“Jyn Erso, daughter of Galen Erso. Also known under the aliases Kestrel Dawn, Tanith Ponta, Liana Hallik.” His eyes started to become distant again, his voice turning flat, so Jyn grabbed his hand.

“Cassian!”

At the touch of her hand his eyes focused, and his expression once again turned awestruck.

“Jyn! I can’t believe you’re here!” His eyes never left her face, pupils darting over her features. He grabbed both of her hands in his and squeezed, and Jyn was taken aback at the gesture. Since Scarif they had been close, almost inseparable, but as a team. Cassian was always careful to keep things as professional as he could, and if there were lingering looks, or inadvertent touches, well Jyn just figured that was inevitable when you worked so closely with someone.

“Cassian?” She was unsure of this, his eyes were clear but it could have still been the after effects of the medication. They started to well with tears though, and it was then Jyn was convinced.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” he tried to laugh it off, but the tears continued to stream down his face.

“It’s the medica--” Jyn started to say, but Cassian stopped her with a finger to her lips.

“No, no,” he shook his head, “ever since I met you, I’ve had this urge,” the words tumbled out of him, one after the other, and Jyn could only watch, face frozen, “I want to protect you, I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to you, it’s like this compulsion, you know?”

Jyn was about to open her mouth to answer, but it seemed he wasn’t finished.

“I just want to protect your body with my body, you know? Like throw my body in front of yours. My body over your body. On your body. On top of… your… body...” he trailed off, comprehension painfully dawning on him. The medication must’ve finally been wearing off. Sure enough, his face twisted in confusion as he hesitantly met her eyes.

“Did I say that out loud?” he asked sheepishly, and when Jyn could only nod, a flush crept up from his neck and spread over his entire face. He passed a hand over his brow and laid back down onto his pillow.

“Cassian?” Jyn didn’t move any closer, the air between them heavy with unacknowledged things.

“I suddenly don’t feel so good,” he mumbled, and turned over onto his side, away from her. Jyn took her cue, quietly turned around and headed for the door. Just as it whooshed open, Cassian called her back.

“Sergeant?”

“Yes?” Jyn turned to see Cassian sitting up in his bed, regarding her with his spy face on.