Yang jungwon ff -
Rooftop
Pairing - jungwon x fem!reader
Tw - smoking , mentions of abuse
Genre - angst , high-school!au ,fluff ending
Synopsis - y/n was way too done with her life and keeping up the miss perfect image was getting harder day by day.....overwhelmed with her life , she mindlessly walks to the place where her heart takes .....little did she know ...... she wasn't the only one on the rooftop that day.
A new day with nothing new to look forward too. Usually you wouldn't over think about the things your mom said as you had got accustomed to it but it hit you a little too hard today when she said " And what made you think i would be happy to know that you scored the highest....it's still not a 100 ......ask your dad to sign it , go and study so that you can be less of a dissapointment". All your efforts, sleepless nights , skipping meals to study was for only you to hear this. Somehow everything made you feel overwhelmed today. It hurt you more when you smilied at people cause you knew the smile they gave you was a genuine one and here you were trying your best to give the most realistic fake smile to them just to keep up with your 'little miss perfect' image.Walking past the crowded hall ways you make your way to the rooftop of your high school.
As soon as you reach there you were greeted with cold breeze. This is the only place where you felt.....alive. Your life wasn't something you wanted ....it could just cause of the events that happened or cause you were a pessimist or the events that turned you into one, you really didn't know the reason. Tbh you didn't really live the best life but who are you to complain. The line "who am I if not exploited" was embedded in your head and as cynical as it sounds - that one mere sentence kept you going. Making you belive that being exploited and being a trophy daughter was all your existence worth of. You never really found a way to cope up with this toxic mindset ,so now you just live through the day waiting for it to end just to spent a few hrs alone away from people on the rooftop. As soon as you reach the rooftop you were not only greeted by the wind but also a familiar figure leaning against the wall with a wrinkled toxic stick in his hands. "You came early today." Jungwon said with his eyes closed while taking a puff. Seeing him put a smile on your face. "Class ended early and you know me I can't stand people so here I am" you replied while looking at the sky. "Bad day?" You asked. "Tell me when did I ever have a good one." You just gave him a smile."come here" he said throwing the stick. He wrapped his arms around your shoulder. You lean on his shoulder,  "this feels better." He said. "It really does." You two had a different bond ...something that made two internally dead people absolute empathic for each other. As weird as it sounds, just a year back when something similar happened and your feet dragged you here, never in your life you would've thought you did see jungwon here as miserable as you or even more. "Remember it was a year back when we met here on this very day." He said making you smile. "How could I forget the best day of my life won". He let's out a chuckle and asks "best day ? Wow ....someone seems whipped". And all you could think was 'what if I am ' you knew you liked him but knowing how much of a pessimist you were. You rather live alone with a cat then to ruin the boy's life by burdening him with your miseries.
"Y/N"
You just hummed.
"Stop over thinking.....the day I saw you here.... was also the best day of my life. I mean it ....okay? ". He Said leaving a peck on your forehead. You smiled and just hugged him a little tighter.
One year back....
You came on the rooftop after an awful day ....thanks to the stuff the teacher told your parents "she is a bright student but recently she is zoning out a bit too much " this was enough for your parents to give you a ' physical punishment ' cause apparently physical pain is a better reminder of how your existence is nothing but a big mistake. You just wanted to not see anyone and you could only think of one palce. But that day you were not the only one there. You saw a guy who looked as if he was half dead and just done with his life but when he turned towards you, what you saw next shocked you "jungwon!?! you smoke ?" You asked clearly surprised and shocked. Jungwon the ace student of your batch who excels at everything, is liked by every professor, who is known for being the sweetest person and is literally the definition of perfect. He was friends with all the popuplar kids And if your life appeared to be perfect ....his just looked a little more. He was sitting here looking completely disheveled and killing himself with nicotine and tar. "Yeah didn't expect this from the me, did you? " he said with an annoyed look on his face. "You know what I am just gonna leave." He said picking up his jacket. All of a sudden you said "No, stay if you want to." He haulted his actions thinking whether he should leave or not. You walk up to edge climbing on to the raised platform leaning on the railing. "Hey...what are you doing!?!" He asked sounding worried and anxious. "Don't worry , it's not what you think ....I just need a little air to breathe ". He lit another cigarette and handed it to you. You thanked him and took a puff feeling the burning sensation spreading through out your lungs with each puff. Jungwon leans beside u on thr railing and asks " Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at your house doing the assignment miss perfect." He said standing beside you. "Don't say that word, I hate it. " You said with gritted teeth." What word?" He asked completely confused by the sudden reaction. "Perfect ".
you said in a voice that was barely audible but he still heard it making him chuckle and say " guess I am not the only one who hates it then." There was a comfortable silence between you two before you asked him "but why? This doesn't even taste that good though" Pointing towards the stick in his hand. "I don't know just a coping mechanism I guess." He said. "Well that coping mechanism of yours could kill you, you know." "Another advantage." He said while laughing. You just laughed cause even if u wanted to disagree you would be just lying to yourself. You guys looked at each other and started laughing. Life really felt like a joke to you both, it was something meant to be laughed at atleast for you two. Ever since that day the rooftop become your spot.
Present-
."Y/N can I ask you something."
"Hmmm."
"What are we Y/N ?" ....."humans". You replied with a straight face. "I am being serious Y/N! " jungwon exclaimed. "Ok....then two messed up teens who are in severe need of some therapy". You said . Jungwon just glared at you.
"What? Why u looking at me like that , did i lie? No right ".
"You know thats not what i meant". He said pulling you closer.
"I know ...its just that ...i am scared jungwon". "Scared of what Y/N ?" He asked genuinely confused. "Scared of if any one ever likes i wull bring no good to them and only burden thrm with my pessimistic personality and if I still manage to hide it will that love even actually be love .....not liking me for my appearance or grades but loving me for me ....and that comes with a heavy price of loving an absolutely damaged person" " you sighed but continued " I might actually even be the worst one out there probably I am unlovable jungwon no person in their sane mind would love me after seeing who I really am." jungwon held your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours and said "are you calling me Insane?" you thought for a sec before you understood what he meant soft lips landed on yours you. He was kissing you, the you love actually liked you . And when you kissed him back you could feel him smile in the kiss. You could taste the nicotine but that didn't stop you from kissing him and he only pulled you closer. Not knowing how long it was you both pulled away only when you both ran out of breath still holding u while he leaned his forehead on yours he said "can I be that person who can make u feel love- wait ...more than that make you feel alive and what happiness is like." "I think your very existence already did." You said and both of you smiled in each others embrace.
You always thought an emotionally damaged person is incapable of giving or receiving love. That you couldn't fully love a person when you barely can make through a day without a mental breakdown. But you weren't exactly right cause Jungwon's presence didn't change your usual life but it did give you a shoulder to lean on and a glimpse of good things can still happen....this wasn't come clichĂŠ movie where two broken people complete each other, it was the normal reality but with a pinch of happiness . Your new days still didn't have anything new but it had something that made you look forward to.
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