Thank you for your post about being a bi Christian. Iāve come to the slow realization over the last couple years and itās been hard. I canāt really talk to anyone about it because my non Christian friends will think Iām homophobic and my family/church/conservative friends either donāt believe bisexuality is real or theyāll treat me differently. I want to tell my old youth pastor because heās the only person Iād feel remotely ok telling but I canāt work up the courage. Do you have any advice?
@jumbofork I wish I had some helpful advice, but I gotta level with you, friend- Iām a big fat coward. the biggest.Ā
I sat on my hands for yearsĀ before saying anything to anybody about my sexuality. I hemmed and hawed. I tried to drop extremelyĀ subtle hints to the point where they were tooĀ subtle and nobody noticed. I vagueposted. IĀ quietly reblogged posts I agreed with without outing myself. I timidly attempted to argue with someone I disagreed with once and totally chickened out the second I met resistance.Ā the whole shebang.
Iāve known I needed to start talking about reconciling my faith and sexuality for ages. and instead I sat and sat and sat until finally God put all the words Iād been wanting to say into somebody elseās mouth like a freakin Aaron to my Moses, and then He kick-dropped their words into my field of vision so I could physically see Iām not alone in this.Ā
He did thisĀ three times. from three separate people.Ā it took me til the third time to start opening up and adding my words to this conversation.
(thatās this post, if youāre curious.)
I sill havenāt told my family. I havenāt told 95% of my friends. I finally opened up to my best friend and my roommates this year and it was only because I saw that they responded positively to somebody elseĀ who admitted he was ssa. the first time I opened up on this blog was two months ago.
my point is, Iām a Huge Weenie who eats at Weenie Hut Jrs andĀ the Lord has been unbelievablyĀ patient with my weenie self, so I am not really the person to ask where to get courage from, ācause I have none.
I will say, though, that when I didĀ start opening up to people I trusted, it was an enormous relief. knowing that my friends are here for me, ready to encourage me and pray for me, even if they donāt completely understand my experiences, has helped so much. it really, really helps to have even one person in your court.Ā
ask the Lord to give you the courage you donāt have, and to kick you in the pants if He needs to. ask Him to place more people in your life that you can trust, who will be a strength to you and speak the truth in love. and then take a deep, deeeep breath (multiple breaths, even) and go talk to your old youth pastor. if he doesnāt understand, then he doesnāt understand. but Iāll be praying that he listens well and demonstrates the love of Christ to you. who knows, he might even know other people who are in your position.
good luck, friend.Ā š
