#julee

For an ordinary day in March, the weather was exceptionally beautiful. The snow was mostly gone, and while the chill of winter hadn’t quite faded away, there was a freshness in the air that promised renewal on its way.

Ren would be lying if she said she disliked living in a nocturnal district. She was nocturnal herself, after all, and those districts suited her fine. The relative quiet and dimness suited the heightened senses of those that lived there, and really there was just as much commerce and culture as the diurnal districts.

It was fairly early for Ren, who, being an owl, didn’t typically rise until sometime during the afternoon at the earliest. But she found herself waking up early, and was too restless to fall back asleep. With nothing to do, she took a walk, and eventually decided to visit a diurnal district. She had always wanted to see what those districts were like in the height of day, and appreciate the lives of those whose species were more diurnal.

The city was generally separated into districts primarily by wealth, as most cities were, and then by whether the species that most densely populated that district were nocturnal or diurnal. There were not often many interactions between the two, and indeed it could be said that they were almost two different cities entirely. Each had their own distinct cultures and moods, and they didn’t always mesh well. Diurnal species tended to avoid nocturnal districts as they found them eerie during the day and dim and seedy at night. Conversely, nocturnal species found the diurnal districts to be loud and overwhelming.

That being said, Ren found it fun to see the other side every now and then. Though the sun was nearly dazzlingly bright to her, and the sounds of the hustle and bustle of diurnal life was almost deafening, there were also sights that she would never be able to see in a nocturnal district. Different species, different shops, an entirely different way of life more suited to the way a nocturnal species saw and interacted with the world.

She eventually found herself in a crowd of mammals, and let herself be guided by the flow of foot traffic, and found herself turning onto a different street entirely. This one was smaller, with a thin stretch of cracked pavement that pedestrians crossed freely, and large sidewalks to the sides filled with food stalls, trade carts, and street performers.

Barn owls generally didn’t have the strongest sense of smell, but even she could smell the savory aromas wafting down the street. Fried food, sizzling meat substitutes, fresh fruits and vegetables; the air was a cacophony of smells that perfectly matched the uproar of the urban life around her. She moved forward, turning her head this way and that to take in all of the sights. Nearby, a husky was juggling. About twenty feet down the street, a squirrel girl was handing out flyers in front of what appeared to be a yoga club. A sheep operated a fried food truck on the other side of the street from her, and a strong aroma wafted away from it and made Ren’s beak water.

She walked past them, however, content simply to glance at them and keep moving.

What she saw next, however, did cause her to stop.

A blue jay sat in front of what appeared to be a pub. The blue jay was a woman, wearing a soft white sleeveless dress that accentuated her deep blue feathers. She was almost two feet shorter than Ren, but she appeared to be about the same age, and her body was curvy with just a hint of chubbiness to it. She had an acoustic guitar held within her wingtips, her feathery fingers delicately strumming the strings to a soulful ballad, which her voice joined. It was somewhat raspy, but this gave it an abrasive edge that contrasted the soft melody of her music. Ren found herself transfixed by the beautiful bird, her beak hanging slightly ajar as she stopped in her tracks. Her heart rate accelerated, and she felt a hint of butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

Then, before she knew it, the blue jay’s song ended, and she was jolted out of her trance by an applause from a few mammals surrounding her. They each reached into their pockets, coats and purses and produced coins and dollar bills before dropping them into a black bucket at the blue jay’s taloned feet.

Ren took a moment to brush down her lacey black dress, making sure it was smooth and presentable, before rummaging in her own purse, eventually retrieving a five dollar bill. The owl moved forward and dropped it along with the rest. She found that her heart was hammering, and her mouth rapidly drying.

“Thank you!” the blue jay exclaimed.

“You’re welcome!” Ren replied, doing her best to beam brightly. “You have a beautiful voice!”

“Why thank you!” the blue jay replied. She sounded sincere, but it was also obvious that this was not the first time someone had told her this.

Ren swallowed nervously, doing her best to hide her awkwardness. “Uh… Do you come around here often?” she asked.

Internally, she cursed herself for going with such lousy small talk. What are you even doing? She thought. She’s so far out of your league, and she’s not even nocturnal! Do you even know if she’s gay?

The blue jay didn’t seem to mind the clumsy attempt at conversation, however. She chuckled, and looked away. “Every now and then,” she replied. “I try and play in a few different spots, but this has always been one of my favorites.” She blinked, and looked back up to the barn owl. “How about you? We don’t see your kind out here too often.”

“Oh… Well, I was in the area,” she explained. “I wanted to see the sights a bit, see what things are really like during the day.”

“And what do you think?” the blue jay asked.

“It’s… very lovely,” the owl replied. “It’s interesting to see how you diurnal species live.”

“But could you live here?” the blue jay asked, leaning forward. Ren felt her eyes drifting towards the other bird’s breasts, and forced her gaze away.

“No… I don’t think so,” Ren replied. “It’s too loud… too bright.”

The blue jay chuckled again. “What’s your name?” she asked.

The owl’s heart fluttered. “Ren,” she answered. “How about yours?”

“Julee,” the blue jay replied. “It’s nice to meet you, Ren.”

She went back to her music, and was about to start playing. Ren stood watching her, and then turned to move away.

But…

“Wait,” the owl blurted out, before she even realized what she was doing. “You know this place, right? Are there any good cafes here?”

Julee paused and looked back up at her, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her beak, as if she had been expecting this. “Yeah,” she replied. “I know a few places. Can you wait around for a few more songs? I’d like to show you around myself."

----------

Ren waited patiently, but for all that she loved watching Julee’s performance, her heart was also hammering in anticipation.

The blue jay played three more songs. The crowd among them came and went, but Ren stayed, listening - or, rather, trying to. The music was beautiful, but there was much more on her mind beneath the surface. She focused on the sound of Julee’s voice, and marveled at how attractive she was. She imagined what a full conversation with her would be like, how it would feel to hold each other’s wing tips, how soft her feathers would feel against hers. She imagined the other bird’s beak brushing against her cheek and neck, their bodies -

Well, she was certainly getting a little ahead of herself there. They barely even knew each other.

She nearly blushed underneath her feathers as these thoughts were crammed out of her head. Her embarrassment quickly morphed into anxiety.

By the time Julee was finally packing up, Ren could hardly bring herself to look at her. An insidious part of her brain yelled at her to just cancel and go home. There was no need to embarrass herself like she knew she was going to.

But the blue jay’s presence blew right through all of that. She seemed entirely oblivious to the owl’s inner anguishes, as she beamed cheerily up into her face. There must have been something visible in her expression, though, for as their eyes locked, the blue jay’s smile faltered just a little.

She bounced back quickly, though. With a playful hint in her voice, she asked, “What’s wrong? I wasn’t that bad, was I?”

Ren was startled out of her spiral. “No!” she mustered. “Not at all! You were amazing! I’m just… tired.”

Julee nodded. “This is early for you, huh?”

“You could say that,” the barn owl replied sheepishly.

Julee kept her eyes locked on Ren’s for a few moments longer, then turned away. “Come on,” she insisted. “There’s a great coffee shop up the block. I’ll take you there.”

She practically skipped off, head held up and obviously in high spirits. Ren felt a smile creep back into her face as she trailed after her.

The shop was a small, quaint thing, nestled on a corner a couple of streets away. As they entered, a waitress looked up at them as she washed the counter. She was a golden retriever, standing at least a foot taller than Ren, with a butch haircut, a red t shirt and blue jeans. She looked up as they entered, and her face brightened. “Julee!” she exclaimed. “Nice to see you! You playing out on Church Street today?”

Julee nodded. “Yep. This is my friend Ren. She was in the area.”

“Oooh, fraternizing with nocturnals, are we?” the golden retriever chuckled.

“I get around,” Julee replied smugly.

Ren was unsure of the full implications of the look that passed between the two. What she was sure of, however, was that her first impression of this place was a good one. It was small, but had a very punk energy to it, with rough walls covered with posters and various stickers, some of which were musical in nature, others which were political. There were pride flags, punk and folk music artists, anti speciest groups, and more. She even saw one sticker advertising a “Coalition of Friends” between diurnal and nocturnal species.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Ren,” the golden retriever replied. “My name’s Lana.”

“Nice to meet you!” the owl replied.

“Well, you two can have a seat anywhere,” Lana directed. “I’ll be right with you in a moment.”

Julee nodded and walked over to a booth near the far corner, looking out over a window onto another street from the one they had come from. Julee sat down, setting her guitar case to her side. Ren sat across from her, and set her purse at the end of the table. The two looked at each other, until Ren broke the silence.

“She seemed nice,” the owl commented.

“Yeah,” Julee replied. “I’ve known her for a few years. We used to date a bit, but it never got serious.”

Ren’s beak dropped open slightly, but she couldn’t think of any words to say. She had been wondering if this bird was gay, but she hadn’t expected her to be so blunt about it.

Julee grinned at her shock. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “Cat got your tongue?”

“I… no…” Ren stammered.

Julee’s face fell a bit. “Wait,” she said, a touch of worry in her voice. “Are you… You know… Gay?”

“Y-yeah…” Ren replied.

Julee let out a sigh of relief. “Oh good,” she said. “I was worried I had… misunderstood.”

“Wait,” Ren said. “Are we… on a date right now?” A hot blush rose to her cheeks.

Julee chuckled, but she broke eye contact and looked down to her guitar case. A flush seemed to creep into her expression as well. “Well… not exactly, I just… Well, you’re really cute. And from how you approached me earlier, it seems you felt the same way about me. So I figured we should get to know each other.”

Ren could hardly believe her luck. This gorgeous blue jay was attracted to her… It was too good to be true, and yet… Here she was.

She must have been silent for too long, for Julee seemed to backtrack a bit. “I mean… Is that okay with you?”

Ren blinked, and that seemed to clear her out of her brief trance. “Oh, of course!” she exclaimed. “I think you’re really cute too… and even if we aren’t dating I think it’d be cool to get to know you better.”

Julee smiled then, and it occurred to Ren that it was a smile capable of brightening the entire cafe. She wanted to stare at it, but she was then interrupted by Lana.

“Alright,” the canine asked. “What can I get for you two lovebirds?”

Ren’s face flushed even harder, and Julee shot Lana a look. “Very funny,” she retorted. Her features softened somewhat, and then she said, “I’ll have the usual.”

Lana paused to jot down the order - whatever ‘the usual’ was - into a notepad. Then, she turned to Ren. “How about you, darling?”

Ren froze, with everything that was going on, she hadn’t even glanced at a menu yet. “Uhh…”

“Need some more time?” Lana suggested.

“No, that's fine… I’ll take whatever she got,” Ren replied sheepishly.

“Oh… Okay,” Lana scribbled the order on her notepad, then lowered her arms. “Alright, they’ll be out in just a few. You two get comfortable while I’m gone.” She winked at Julee, then turned and strutted away.

“Is she like this every time you come here with someone else?” Ren asked.

Julee nodded. “Yup,” she replied simply. “Every time.”

“So why didn’t you two end up together?” Ren asked. “Since she cares so much about your dating life.”

Julee sighed. “Well, you know… We’re good friends,but that doesn’t make us good lovers. We realized early on that we weren’t looking for the same thing, so… we decided to just be friends.”

“I see,” Ren replied. “What is it that you’re looking for?”

Julee sighed, and placed her left elbow on the table, resting her head in her palm. “I don’t even think I know the answer to that question anymore,” she answered wistfully.

“Troubled dating life, huh?” Ren asked.

“It’s just… confusing, is all,” Julee replied.

Ren cocked her head to the side. “How so?” she asked.

The blue jay appeared to contemplate the question for a moment. “It’s… weird, complicated mental stuff,” she finally replied. “I don’t want to bother you with it.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine,” Ren assured. “I don’t mind hearing about it, though.”

Julee sighed, and hesitated, this time for what felt like nearly a full minute. Just as she seemed about ready to talk, Lana reappeared, holding two steaming paper coffee cups in her hand.

“Here are your coffees,” she announced, setting one down in front of each of them. “Two cappuccinos, extra cream. Your sandwiches should be out soon.”

“Thank you!” Ren beamed in response. Lana grinned, and walked away.

Ren slowly took a sip of her coffee. It was a bit too hot for her, and it scalded her beak and tongue, but she had to admit that the taste was pleasing, and it was well made.

“I guess, the thing is… Lana is a huge romantic,” Julee mused. “And I’m … less so. I like to date, I love girls, and love getting to know them and being affectionate with them… But I don’t know if super lovey-dovey stuff is my thing. I like being in a relationship, and I’d love a partner in my life. I even like getting intimate. But it doesn’t feel like romance, you know?”

Ren’s brows furrowed as she pondered these words. “What do you mean by ‘it doesn’t feel like… romance?’”

“Well, that’s just the thing,” Julee explained. “I’m not really sure. I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt it before. I hear all these things about how people seem to always want to be with their crush, how they absolutely idolize them, how their pulse quickens and their heart flutters. They feel whole near their lover in a way they never do alone. I… don’t feel that way. I never have. I want to be close to someone; I just can’t fathom it being that different from a really strong friendship. I used to think that was how everyone felt, but… I was wrong.”

She paused, and took another sip of her coffee. Suddenly, she seemed to realize how much she was sharing, and her cheeks flushed just a bit. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to dump all of that onto you.”

Ren shook her head. “It’s fine,” she replied. “You seem like you needed to get it off your chest.”

Julee nodded. “A lot of my friends… really don’t seem to get it. Lana’s been wonderful to me, but she’s constantly insisting that I just haven’t found “the one” yet. At this rate, honestly, I’m not sure I ever will.”

“I mean… It’s okay if you don’t,” Ren replied.

Julee sighed. “I know… But it’s just hard to find a way to fit in with everyone else. One of my best friends is getting married in two months, and she keeps asking me when I’m gonna ‘find someone.’ I keep telling her that I’m not in any rush, but she seems to think that I couldn’t possibly be anything but miserable without a full time girlfriend in my life.”

There was a bitter edge beginning to creep into the blue jay’s voice.

“Well, if you don’t want a girlfriend, just don’t get one,” Ren suggested.

Julee sighed. “That’s not even the core of the problem, though. I’d be fine doing my own thing, if it weren’t for how everyone acts about it. It’s like they all know me better than I do. It’s… tiring.

The blue jay sighed, and stared wistfully out the window. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this,” she said.

Ren was silent for a moment as she contemplated the best response. Eventually, she reached forward and grasped the other bird’s wing tip in her own.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Sometimes we just need to get things off of our chest. It doesn’t sound like you have many other friends you can go to over this.”

Julee nodded, and turned back to face Ren. “Thank you,” she said.

“I can’t say I understand - not fully, anyway,” Ren explained. “I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic type myself. But I know that everybody’s built differently. What works for me might not work for you, and vice versa. It’s okay to not want or need a romantic relationship to be happy. Just because everyone else is talking about how great it is for them doesn’t mean it’s great for you.”

“I know… But it’s so hard to find partners sometimes and it’s just… frustrating.” She looked at Ren. “I don’t suppose you’d be interested either, huh?”

Ren thought carefully about how she wanted to respond. Finally, she said, “Well… I don’t know if I can give you what you want in terms of dating and being your partner… But I wouldn’t mind being your friend.”

Julee looked a little crestfallen, but beneath that was the appearance of relief. “Okay,” she said. “I’d like that.”

“I promise not to tease you for not dating anyone,” Ren added.

Julee chuckled. “Thank you,” she said.

Footsteps passed them by and Lana reappeared next to them, two plates in hand. Sandwiches were stacked on top. The waitress set the plates down in front of them. “Alright,” she said. “You two enjoy.”

“Thank you!” Ren chirped.

Lana smiled, nodded, and turned back towards the counter, where she sauntered off.

Ren looked down at the sandwich, studying it briefly. It was nicely topped with a smooth brioche bun. It was stacked with lettuce, tomato, and avocado and what appeared to be synthetic poultry. A thick, yellowish sauce coated the bottom bun, and crumbles of cheese layered the top.

She picked it up and sunk her beak into it, tearing a chunk off and letting the flavor wash over her tongue. Birds didn’t have the strongest sense of taste, but they could still enjoy it, and this sandwich was definitely tasty. The bun was fluffy and delicious, yet firm enough on the outside to be. The vegetables were fresh and flavorful and the synthetic meat savory.

She placed her sandwich down and swallowed her first bit. “Good choice,” she complimented Julee.

The blue jay nodded and swallowed her own bite. Then, she met Ren’s gaze. “So, how about you?” she asked.

The barn owl cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“What do you write?” Julee asked.

“I’ve talked a lot about myself. Why don’t you tell me about you?” What do you do for a living?”

Ren considered. “Well… right now I work in a call center,” she began. “It’s pretty boring and awful, but the pay is alright… I want to be a writer, though.”

Ren chuckled. “Not much, lately,” she admitted. “I like fiction, though. Especially fantasy and horror. And queer fiction.”

A grin appeared on Julee’s face. “So you’re a nerd, huh?”

Ren felt herself blushing again, this time in embarrassment. “There’s genuine value in genre fiction, you know,” Ren stated indignantly. “Literary fiction is only whatever elitist snobs think is worthy. They’re just different kinds of expression, is all.”

Julee giggled. “Relax,” she assured. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice somewhat. “Truth be told, I read a little bit of fantasy myself. So what are you working on now?”

“Eh, you know… This and that,” Ren replied. “Mostly some short fiction and essays - some novellas here and there. It’s tough to find the energy and time to write anything huge… I’d love to be a novelist someday, though!”

“Why not do it bit by bit?” Julee asked. “Start it, then put it down and pick it up again as you get motivated.”

Ren craned her head to the side, pondering the blue jay’s words. “I might… I just tend to lose interest in things, is all.”

“Well, nothing wrong with putting things on the back-burner for a bit,” Julee countered.

Ren tilted her head to the other side. “I guess not,” she conceded, though she didn’t feel convinced. From the look on Julee’s face, it seemed the other bird could tell.

“You just gotta keep going with it,” she advised. “Find a work system that fits. Pick it up when you feel inspired and put it down when you’re not. It’ll take a bit, but as long as you don’t give up entirely, I think you’ll get there eventually.”

“Thank you,” Ren replied. “I’ll think about it.”

And she meant that, too.

By this time, the two had more or less finished their sandwiches. Lana appeared before them and took their plates, leaving the bills behind. The bill was surprisingly modest for how good the food had been. Ren paid with her debit card, while Julee paid with some of the cash she had earned from performing. When Ren’s card was returned, they left the cafe together.

“So,” Ren said. “Where are you headed?” Ren asked.

“Back to work,” Julee replied. “I’ve still got a few hours of playing in the streets left. Then I can hit up some clubs.”

“Is this like your full-time job?” Ren asked.

Julee laughed. “Not exactly,” she said. “I work part time at a music shop. This is just a side gig, really.”

“Still,” Ren reasoned. “It must be a nice way to make money.”

“Yeah, it has its moments,” Julee conceded. “It’s a nice way to get out and about while making a living. Still, you’d be surprised by how apathetic people can be. Rude, even.” She sighed. “Eh… It’s not that bad… I just had a bit of a nasty run in with a pedestrian earlier.”

“What happened?” Ren asked.

“Not all that much… this wolf just decided I was a beggar and that he ‘wanted me off his street.’ He threatened to call the cops and everything. Even after I showed him my permit, he still wouldn’t leave me alone for a few more minutes.”

Ren shook her head. “People are just awful,” she said.

“Yeah,” Julee agreed. She glanced over at the owl, then added, “Sometimes, any way.”

They had almost reached the spot where Julee had been playing when they had first met. “Anyway, I guess you’re going back to the nocturnal districts then?” the blue jay asked.

“Yep,” Ren replied. She felt herself yawn, as her body’s hunger was now sated. She wanted nothing more than to return to her apartment and sleep until dusk. “I wanna get some more rest before work.”

Julee sighed. ““Well, let me know whenever you have a day - or night - off. I’d love to come see how you nocturnals get along.”

“Alright,” Ren replied. “You might be rather… underwhelmed, though.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll find something to enjoy.” She smiled. “Oh, we should exchange numbers!”

The two birds entered each other’s phone numbers into their cell phones. Ren sent a text message to double check that she had the right number, and Julee replied. When they were all done, Julee said, “You take care, Ren. It was nice getting to know you.”

Ren grinned back. “Same to you!” she beamed.

Then, they parted ways.