#jul2025

there are things i am afraid of and things that i was not until i felt them through my skin— sharp and real, painful.

settle the day in bed. there is naught to be afraid of now; what’s done is done is done. we live with what we have. we chase tomorrow when it comes. we learn to live with everything one step by careful step.

i want to sleep. i can’t find rest. my mind won’t let me respite; it fails to find solace in the way the world plays out before my eyes, behind my thoughts, with every part of aching dreams i carry onto morning like a weight of sodden stones.

the night descends and I go with it, off to find my weary way, on the clumsy road to being somewhere more than what I was, less than what was here, different than before. what possibilities there are, unveiled by the sunset.

maybe there will be sunshine after the lazy evening heat, or maybe we’ll just lie here under low and drifting clouds while the circling bats go hunting for their dinner on the wing, and we recall not everything needs light shining all the time.

dancing with a shuffle step that i cannot quite remember; one is not enough to show that others may yet join, and i cannot quite remember all the order or precise, but i can dance and dream of having many others by my side.

what a funny world this is, with all its music and colliding shapes and tastes of places far away and memories yet made. we’ll laugh our way into a heartbeat easier than this.

there is honor in the work, and something grand to honor that, whenever such a chance is given to you piece by crumbling piece. What a wonderful transaction: my respect for what you’ve done, and the reverse, in either way you might imagine.