#jugin

It was times like these that he missed his feathers. Half-naked in a shredded shirt and a blanket tied messily around his waist, Hugin sat hunched and shivering in the far corner of the room.

The stone room was dark, as always. Magnus had attempted to pull the drapes open a number of times only to receive a hoarse, panicked protest from the once-bird. Hugin hated the light; he hated seeing what they’d turned him into. Long, lanky limbs covered in scratches and burns, the injuries he had brought upon himself.  If his master could see him now… He shuddered at the thought.

Two weeks, three days, thirteen hours. That was how long he had been trapped in this infuriating form. That was how many nights he had awoken, tearing at his own skin and screaming to be free. That was how many minutes he cursed the man with the eyes of a cat and the boy with the golden curls.

His head thumped back against the damp wall, his eyes fluttering to a close. Across the room, he was vaguely aware of the door opening and the footsteps that followed. It was that time again.

“Bird,” Jace grunted, aiming a slight kick to Hugin’s limp leg. The dark-haired boy flinched and curled away. Hot resent flushed through his face. Once he had loved Jace for all his light – for where Hugin was the night, Jace was his day. But the light was gone, replaced with nothing but hatred and contempt.

His charcoal eyes flicked open to mere slits. “I have given you all I know.”

Jace did not seem convinced. His fingers tensed around the tin plate his hand, jerking slightly and sending a bread bun rolling along the cold floor. Despite the hunger that tore at Hugin’s stomach, his eyes did not leave Jace’s. The thick silence held between them for a long moment before the blonde tossed the rest of the plate at Hugin’s feet.

As Jace turned away, Hugin scrambled for the food. The tattered blanket around his waist tangled around his legs, sending him clumsily to the floor. Bread, meat and something indistinguishable but brown lay inches from his mouth. So close that his stomach was growling in relief.

Then he was up against the wall. Jace’s calloused hands curled around Hugin’s shoulders, smashing him back against the stone. Hugin let out a cry – torn between pain and fury.

“Listen to me, raven,” spat Jace, his fingernails cutting into Hugin’s pale skin. Blue veins began to show against the ivory white, the blood welling from them and dripping slowly away. “I know what you were to Valentine. I know that you know everything. I was there, remember?”

Of course he remembered. He wished at that point that he had a beak; his long, sharp dagger to slash at the boy’s face, scarring the eyes that brought warmth to his gut. He wanted to kick and scream and lash at Jace, but he could do nothing but quiver in fear and in anxiety of their close proximity.

“Nothing,” Hugin croaked, “I know nothing more.”

Jace let out a roar that bounced from wall to wall, each time hitting Hugin like a blow. “Tell me!”

And like that, it was as if every bone in Hugin’s body snapped. It was as if a dam had broken inside of him, filling him with a substance he could not identify but could not keep from expelling. The words that were like honey and acid spilled from his tongue and he watched, from black eyes to gold, as they fell into the air.

“Tell you?” he rasped, finally finding the strength to dig his own fingers into Jace’s forearms. “Tell you that I watched you growing up, knowing of your design and jealous of your hold of Valentine? Tell you that with each day you grew like a sunrise in my eyes until you became the source of my warmth? You were so brave, so strong, so good from the beginning that there was no way you could not be Valentine’s downfall. Shall I tell you of how I realized this? Of how I knew that you would inevitably defeat him but I did not speak a word? Yes, I was a bird but Valentine and I had a language that knew no bounds. A language and a bond of master and servant that could only be broken by you. I did not tell him out of fear of punishment, but out of fear of your safety! But all that has gone to waste and you are no longer full of light but you are broken. Like shards of a once beautiful stained glass.”

His breath was ragged but his stare hard as he looked at Jace. The other boy’s eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of disbelief and confusion, before the pieces slowly began to join together in his memories. Hugin swallowed hard and waited for the inevitable storm.

“You’re lying,” said Jace quietly, though his words were as sharp as an icy wind. Hugin stiffened in his grip. “You are lying!”

Oh how he wished the words would stop flowing but the seal had cracked. “Lying?” he hissed. “Why would I be lying, you imbecile child! I have risked my life you! I went against everything for you, only for you to fall into a torturous love with a girl who does not deserve you! Why do I pay for my sacrifice when you allow greater crimes go unpunished? All I have ever done is love you from afar, and for what? Hatred and abuse, from you and your so-called father.”

Their faces were inches apart by now, and Hugin could taste Jace’s breath on his lips. Mingled flavours of sweetness, mint and blood seeped into his mouth. The mere presence of Jace’s touch on his shoulders began to send goosebumps across his bloody skin.

“You are not like Valentine,” Hugin finally said, his voice no longer firm but weak. “But if you do not retrieve your light, your fate will be as bad as his.”

“Help me,” whispered Jace. His hands no longer dug into Hugin’s bones but gripped to his desperately, as if the dark-haired boy was the only thing keeping him upright. “Please, just help me.”

What had once been words spilling from the broken dam within Hugin was now replaced with warmth and a sudden purpose. Shifting himself against the wall, his arms encased Jace, held him firmly and kept him from falling. Body to body, skin to skin, the pair was silent as their breathing entwined. Hugin craved the light as much as Jace wished to find it again, and he could only think of responding in a single way.

His mouth, dry and trembling, sought out Jace’s in the dark. Hot, hungry and full of need, the golden-eyed boy’s lips pressed back against Hugin’s, their force sending them both harder against the wall. Jace’s hands wandered expertly against the other boy’s frail body. His touch lingered in each soft crevice, sending a jolt of surprise through each and every single one of Hugin’s veins. They remained entangled; both supporting each other equally, until Hugin felt his head would implode.

He tugged back sharply, knocking his head with a thud against the wall. At his movement, Jace stumbled back clumsily staring at the once-bird in incredulity. Hugin felt his stomach drop.

“You…” Jace swallowed, his words seeming to stick to the inside of his throat. Without so much of another word, he turned, staggering towards the open door and disappeared into the hallway. The door slammed loudly behind him.

Hugin felt a weight in his gut as if a hole he was not aware of had been filled. Despite Jace’s undignified departure, a mixture of a smirk and smile tugged at the brunette’s lips. He pushed himself to his feet, suddenly full of strength and walked towards the window.