#jubaru

I’m not sorry

As with most life changing events Natsuki Subaru went through, it started with Emilia. They had been in her room, talking about some story the village children had told them, when Puck had decided to manifest and join in the conversation. Subaru had been absentmindedly petting the creature when the sudden urge to hug the spirit had appeared, doing just that stopped any conversation from going further and Emilia stared at him curiously.

Realizing what he was doing, he immediately released the creature and shyly rubbed the back of his head, "sorry bout that, the softness overwhelmed me." Puck nodded in understanding, "you're hardly the first person to do that, and you won't be the last. Right Emilia?"

Emilia didn't answer him in favor for staring harder at the male before finally asking the question that had been weighing on her mind for days now. "Subaru, is your heat coming soon?" Her tone held the steadiness of a future ruler, but the faint blush rising to her cheeks told the omega that this topic was still an embarrassing one for her.

Subaru was still not completely used to people not having secondary genders in this world, but at the time was relieved. In his home world he was an omega, a class that many still considered to only be good for child rearing, and he wasn't what others would consider an attractive omega by most people.

At some point he had given up on the hope of finding a partner and was resigned to live alone and disgusted. Subaru had begun to gain hope when he found this world that he would be able to live as someone rather than something. His hopes for secrecy on what he was were dashed however, when he entered a heat the first time since entering this world. After taking medication for so many year to lesson the effects of them, when a heat hit full force Emilia was terrified.

Rem had found him curled up in a ball, sweating, trembling, and crying, he could only answer others in short sentences and for all inhabitants of the Roswell mansion, that week had been hell.

After that he had come clean to them all, though no one still truly understood it, and now they had a certain system in place to make sure he was as comfortable as possible during that time.

Thinking about it and doing some quick math, Subaru nodded, "yeah that would make a lot of sense." The soreness, bloating, and nesting were typical signs of an oncoming heat.

Though something was telling Subaru that wasn't the problem here, this only deepened Emilia's frown, "should I write to Julius."

Subaru waved her off, while it was true he was dating the knight he wasn't going to summon just yet, if it was his heat then he would still have a little while and Julius was coming just next week.

That, and Subaru knew that Julius wasn't a fan of his heats, and he would hold off on those concerned stares for as long as possible.

Desperate to change the subject he pointed important looking paper, "what's that one about?" Knowing that pushing the conversation would only make him more uncomfortable, Emilia decided to humor him for now.

Over the next few days Subaru only felt worse, he was sore and exhausted no matter what he did, and the way the twins kept looking at him combined with how Emilia was not to subtlety hovering over him, only making his mood worse.

He was just finishing wiping down a window when he spotted Rem and loudly called her over, he hadn't missed her eager smile when she received a letter that morning and there was only one person now who had that effect on her.

She went to join Subaru and he noticed that she was standing a bit farther away from him then usual, thinking about it he realized that Ram was straight up avoiding him. "How's Reinhard doing?"

He couldn't help but smile at the color that rose to the maids cheeks, and while she was telling him the contents of the letter he felt a rather persistent cramp return. Rem stopped when she saw the wince and stepped forward in concern, "are you alright?"

Subaru internally slapped himself for worrying her when she had been so happy just a moment ago and tried to brush off her concern, "just a cramp, it'll pass in a little."

He should have known he wouldn't be so lucky for her to drop it, "are you sure? I didn't want to mention it before- but you've smelt very strongly these last few days and it's only getting more intense."

Something about her statement sent a warning bell through Subaru and his veins filled with ice. His throat suddenly dry he excused himself and left an increasingly worried Rem to find Emilia.

It didn't take long to find her holed up in her room, and at the intrusion she jumped, but at seeing how pale her friend was, concern blossomed quickly. "Subaru what's wrong? Are you alright?" Without thinking she was by his side and looking for any injuries that he always seemed to acquire without her knowledge.

Placing a calming hand on his shoulder seemed to snap back to reality and he ran his hands over his face before throwing on a smile, "I'm alright Emilia-tan, I just have a bit of a favor to ask from you."

Emilia nodded immediately, "of course. What do you need me to do?" Subaru paused and tried to swallow the sudden lump that had lodged its way into his throat, "I need to check if I'm-"

Pausing to collect himself he looked back at Emilia who was obviously concerned and a newly appeared Puck, who was curios as to what was happening. Looking down he continued, "I need you to check to see if I'm pregnant."