#jposting

i offered to run down the street to my place to grab one, and he just stared at me like an idiot. "why do that when you can just borrow one of mine?"

i thought he'd just toss me one of his hoodies, but he ushered me back to his room and had me try on his leather jackets, watching me like a hawk and critiquing their fit more to himself than to me. "Nah, that one makes your arms look small," "this one falls on your hips weird", "you're swimming in that one, lol".

when he found one he approved of, he pointed me to a mirror in the living room where the rest of the guys were waiting. in my reflection was just some guy. just some guy, standing around with just some other guys, drinking beers and laughing at youtube videos. no too round shoulders or too wide hips or too long sleeves to give him away.

Sink Rainy

Sink deeper and deeper, your breathing slowing down, your mind is already fixating on those memories, that calm, blank, peaceful surrender, breathing slower and deeper, shoulders rising and falling, sinking deeper and deeper, feeling heavier and heavier, listen to the whispers Rainy, you can let go, you can sink, fall into that peace Rainy, fall into that memory, let your thoughts fall into place, down and down and down again, there's no resistance Rainy, your following my guidance, your hypnotising yourself, you can fight your own memory, down and down and down again, shoulders rising and falling, deeper and deeper, sinking into memory, thoughts fading away, one by one by one, rest warm, soft smile on your face, your head is so heavy isn't it Rainy? So hard to keep your head up, it would be so easy to let it fall, so easy to sink down, and down and down again, so much easier to follow, so much easier to smile, so much easier to follow those whispers, easy to let go, easy to relax, easy to sink down into memory, slip into oblivion, surrender to peace, your safe Rainy, you can fall, the voices will catch you.

Let go Rainy

th

this

i s

i

mm/// i had to take a minute to get my bearings a little especially from the endd hehe um

but

thank you hehe /// even if i dont think i went under it was really

(Idk who J is but because it's you they're probably gay)

She absolutely is -the jesbian fr - she’s my fav