Lately, I have been trying to harbor light. Surround myself with people that feel like innocence and magic. Hoping they can remind me of the world in color. Feel their warmth on my skin, like sunshine. I want so badly, what I fear Iβll never have. What this life may never give, but I feel like I was fucking promised. I want to be happyβ¦ because I deserve to be happy. I want easier, lighter days. Green fields and blue skies. To be wrapped up in a summer breeze. Because it seems as though my life has always been so heavy. I long to take a deep breath. To let go of everything weighing me down. Everything they said I was. Everything they said I could never be. Everything they think of me. I want to laugh from my core. And cry, when it feels right. I want the happiness I used to dream about. The good that I know is on the horizon. Because it has to be. I want to believe that better is coming. Because it has to be. I am going to keep believing that. I am going to keep harboring light, until I become light. Because I deserve it. Because after all of this pain, I believe I have earned it. I simply canβt wait to get there. Thank you for being patient with me. I wasnβt always so sure Iβd make it, but lately I am happy I stuck around. Hope can be a dangerous thing, but maybe itβs worth the riskβ¦
x M
