college crush!joon is the type to meet you after class and pretend like he didn't sneak out of a lab just to see you. he'd ask his friends to cover him and his profs turned the other cheek since he's a good kid. it's not like he'd be leaving class early for stupid reasons, right?
college crush!joon walks inches away from you. usually, his hands are shoved in his pockets while you leave yours lingering in case he wants to take it. he does. he's just too shy right now. maybe next time.
college crush!joon expects you to see you at a party. as he waits, he greets everyone he knows. when you walk in, you catch him hugging a girl a little too long for your liking. it can't be helped. you sulk. your smile turns into a small frown and just as you turn to avoid him, he pushes his way through the crowd. "yah, ___!" he slurs as he pulls you in by your waist. as you huff, he chases your eyes. "don't be jealous," joon says desperately. "i'm too tipsy to act nonchalant. might say things i mean. might do things i've been meaning to do." you blink at him. "i'm not jealous." is all you have to say. he laughs before leaning in, slumping his body onto yours. like reflex, you wrap your arms around him. "but if i were... i wouldn't have any reason to be, right?" you ask softly, unsure if you even said it loud enough for him to hear. you feel his hearty chuckle against your body. he pats your head and kisses your neck. he's never done that before. shivers go down your spine. "babe, if i wanted a reaction from you, it wouldn't be through jealousy."
college crush!joon is a man of his word. it wasn't the night of the party, but a few nights after. he came over and then he really came over. as joon finishes the last bit of his soju, you giggle and straddle him. on top, you begin to grind your pussy against his buldge. his jeans are peeled off and the thin fabric of your panties make it easy to feel his cock harden. as you run your fingers in between his boxers waist band, he reaches over to kiss your neck. he kisses it softly and then with intent to leave a mark. you moan as he bites your skin, feeling the sensation of being so close to him. as he does this, you grind on him faster and faster. "holy fuck, i could cum right now." he moans, "can i get my dick out?" you shake your head. "n-no. i just want to do this..." he gulps. "you just want to dry hump me until i cum?" you shrug. "until i cum too." he can't think straight. it's okay if you didn't want to fuck just yet... besides, you two are kind of drunk... so this is good. this is better than good. this is fuckingâ"you haven't even asked me out. you don't deserve my pussy." you tease, as you cup his face. you mean it though. he offers you a lazy smile, trying his best not to cum just yet. but you look at him with pleading eyes and it makes him go crazy. "bad boy," you slap him. "such a bad fucking boy. you want this pussy? be good to me." he nods, biting his lip from how hot you are in this very moment. "i promise," he says hastly. smiling, you take his hands and hold them for stability. grinding, humping, and fucking his cock that keeps being slapped against his abdomen is too much. there's so much heat between you two. there's so much fucking wetness that soaks both of your fabrics. it's sticky. it's so fucking loud too. he's going to burst. then, you moan, throw your head back, and it must be a god sent moment because your dress straps fall from your shoulders, causing the front to flop down. revealing your breasts, he can't help but watch the way they bounce. without a thought, he buries his face in between your breast. you giggle at the initial ticklish feeling, but quickly feel flustered when he sucks on your nipples. "make me cum," you cry. "make me cum and i'll suck your cock so good, joon. i p-promise." he smirks, making the deal. he then takes a fistful of your hair and tugs it down. he begins to roll his hips against you, and the pace is just perfect. he moans into your ear, he bites your collarbone, he sucks your tits some moreâthen, you cum. you spill yourself all over your panties and it leaks over his boxers. quickly, you get off of him and go on your knees. tugging his jeans lower, you take his cock out of his boxers and grip them with your two hands. "so b-big," you salivate. "two hands.. oh god. when you fuck me, will you even fit?" your words have him dizzy. he can't even process what you said before you go right into it. you kiss the tip before engulfing it you have nothing to lose. it's like you didn't just cum moments ago. how do you move that fast? as you bob your head, joon can't help but feel his stomach twitch. you suck his dick so good. you suck it like he always thought you wouldâbetter even. better because it's real. better because he cums for real. as he spills himself inside your mouth and catches his breath, you swallow and wipe the excess cum off of your lips. " keep your promise, joon... or i'll never suck your dick again."
college crush!joon is annoying. since that night... well, he's been avoiding you. you cried about it the other night. you thought he was different... instead, he's a promise breaker. fuck him. as you're dismissed from class, you can't help but wonder where it went downhill. did you suck his dick wrong or something? were you too demanding? did he not get it? he's so fucking annoying. as you exit the building, for the first time in 2 weeks, you see him. he's talking to another girl. you want to throw a tantrum. instead, you turn your cheek and continue to walk away. then, as you go, you feel his presence catch up to you. "hey." he greets you. you ignore him. "okay, yeah, i'm a dick. i know. i should've called. i should've texted... but i didn't. my bad. i was figuring things outâ" you stop walking. he cuts in front of you. "i'm sorry, ___. a group member complained about me always skipping the last portion of lab and i got into some shit with my profs. i got all stressed and not to mentionâi've been wrecking my mind trying to figure out the perfect way to ask you out. i want to do that, okay? i want to take you on a date. i should've said it earlier. i should've kept my promise... i'm sorry. please, can you give me a second chance?" he begs. you gulp, feeling uneasy. "f-fine," you agree. "but i'm not sucking your dick no matter how much you impress me with the date. i'm still mad at you." joon's lips curve into a smile. he puts his hands up and laughs. "all good," he reassures you. "i wanna do this right. wanna love you right. you never have to suck my dick ever againâ" your eyes widen. "n-no. i will. i want to. it was fun. it was bigâ" he covers your mouth with his hand. "shhh," he blushes. "how about you just let me hold your hand for now? yeah? let's start there." he takes your hand, intertwining your fingers together. your heart flutters as you two walk side by side. he isn't shy anymore and you... you aren't as mad. maybe it's whatever. maybe you should suck his dick later for the plot.
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Summary: Long winter had left you with some additional kgs and you were very sulky about it. You knew you were not fat, but you didnât feel yourself. This was not you, not the real one! You wanted to hide and wait for better times.Â
A/N: Iâve gained some weight recently and I am not very happy about it. I had to get it out of my system.
P.S. I started to write a new one-shot with Jimin but I am so whipped for Namjoon I am doomed.
Masterlist
â----
You sat on the couch.
People were going around you, talking with each other, laughing, drinking, simply having fun. You knew some of them, the other ones were completely stranger to you. They all were invested in their own matters, nobody was paying attention to you.Â
Which was fine. You really wanted to be left alone. You needed to gather your thoughts. Your own thoughts which were tormenting you, making you feel worse and worse each passing moment. And you knew it was all just in your mind, nobody was guilty, just your fucking brain bringing up everything, exaggerating, showing the whole situation in only dark colors. You knew that. If someone actually went inside your head and saw all that mess, they would call you crazy and tell you to get over yourself. It was that stupid. And you knew that. You also knew you were the only one thinking about that, nobody had mentioned anything, pointed out anything, given you any hint theyâd noticed. They didnât care. And, of course, you knew that. And yet, you were failing to control that. You were failing the battle with yourself, with your own fucking thoughts.Â
And you were sitting on that couch. That was not how you were supposed to spend that night.Â
You hadnât seen your friends for a long time. You all had been busy, with your lives, jobs, schools or whatever. You all had stuff to do and no time to meet and catch up. You missed them, but there had not been much to do about it. You wanted to talk to them, you wanted to spend time with them, but at the same time you wanted to be left alone, not seen by anyone. You were not feeling yourself, not as you should have. That was just not the best timing.Â
And the reason for all of that was very simple: Long winter that had left you with additional kgs and you hadnât had time to do something about it. You were busy and had decided to take care of your love muffins some other time. You hadnât thought that your friends would betray you and force you to meet and have fun before that happened.Â
You almost had changed your mind and stayed at home. You had been so close to writing to everyone you were not feeling well.Â
But you actually had one good reason to come.
Him.Â
You knew he would come, heâd told you himself. Or more like heâd written you in text. He was such a nice person. Heâd asked you if you were coming to the party because he hadnât seen you in ages and heâd missed you. You remembered vividly how much youâd blushed after reading his message. And how quickly you had changed your mind about going out. Youâd been missing him too. Very much. You missed his wide, charming smile. You missed his laughter, you missed his big, sexy brain. His everything. You loved spending time with him, you were never bored together. You loved how he was talking about books heâd read, about places he had visited. You loved how his underbite was showing when he was focused on something. You loved his dimples popping out when he was smiling. You lovedâŠ
You loved him.
Oh, you were so in love with him. He was your friend and you definitely had feelings for him that friends usually donât have for each other. And you were pretty damn sure he didnât feel the same way about you. He had never shown any sign of that, more affection than it was appropriate. He was always nice, kind and gentle. He was occasionally hugging you, nothing you could have taken for something more than a friendly gesture. Youâd been always enjoying those moments, reminding yourself it was better than nothing. You knew he had never treated them the same way as you had been. He didnât like you that way.
But still, you were insanely in love with him.Â
So, youâd put on your comfy pants and oversized hoodie to cover yourself up and had gone to the party.Â
And youâd ended up alone on the couch. You were bashful about your appearance, actually regretting putting on baggy clothes. You hadnât been able to have a good time. Youâd meet a few of your friends, youâd talk a little but youâd been feeling their eyes on you. You were so damn sure they were judging you over your look, you couldnât focus on anything else. It had taken away all the fun from the evening and you already wanted to leave.Â
Youâd seen him around. Obviously, he was looking gorgeous as always. He hadnât changed at all. So tall, slim and handsome. He had been trying to talk with you but youâd been running away from him, always finding an excuse. To be honest, that was really stupid since he was the only reason you had come to the party in the first place. You probably were crazy. You wanted to slide between couch cousins and never be seen ever again.Â
You felt someone had sat next to you. You were so invested in your own thoughts it startled you and you almost jumped in your spot. You turned your head and to your surprise you saw no one else but him. He was looking at you, with his eyes half closed, full lips pressed in a thin line. He seemed puzzled, like he wanted to ask you about something, still hesitating if that was the good idea.Â
âNamjoon?â
âOh, good. You remember me.â, he exhaled theatrically, showing his relief. âConsidering how youâve been running away from me the whole evening, I would assume you donât know my name anymore.â
âI would never run away from you.â
âOh? Then what the hell is happening today?â
âItâs not you. Iâm running away from everyone!âÂ
âWait? So, Iâm not special? Youâre not avoiding me and only me? This makes me more sad than you not remembering my name.â
You chuckled, probably for the first time that night. Namjoon had that special power over you. Your soft spot for him was already an independent country with its own currency and national anthem.Â
âSo, are you having fun all alone on the couch?â
âI am no longer alone.â, you half smiled at him.Â
âAm I interrupting you?â
âAbsolutely not. Youâre just one. And there⊠are the others⊠Why there is no many of them?â
âItâs a party. It usually happens at parties. At least, so Iâve heard.âÂ
âYou seem to be more experienced in this than me.â
âI know a few things, true.â, he made this facial expression of a person who knows stuff, more than the others. âHoseok told me.â, he added after a small pause.
You chuckled again. Namjoon was definitely ruining your ruined evening.Â
âWhere is he anyway?â, you asked.
âI have no clue. Last time I saw him, he was dragging his girlfriend somewhere. I donât want to know the detailsâŠâ
âWell, at least they have some funâŠâ, you felt your face turning pink. Why the hell had you said something like this to him? You cleared your throat. âAre you having fun?â
âNo, I canât. Not when youâre like this. Itâs bugging me. Youâre bugging me.â
âIâm sorry?â
âI hope so.â Namjoon scooted a little closer to you. âWhat is up? What have you been up to all this time? Talk to me.â
âNo. You talk first. Last time we saw each other youâve been trying to publish a book.â
âOh shit, itâs been that long?â, he sighed. âWell, true, I was contacting a few publishersâŠâ
Namjoon started to talk about the past events, things that you had missed while not being around. He had been working hard and even though it had been basically his work, nothing exciting, he still wanted to share that with you.Â
And you really wanted to listen to him. You wanted to know all the updates from his life, even his work life. But you had drifted away very quickly. Your mind was playing tricks on you and even the short, yet fun, conversation with Namjoon had not kicked out the main topic of your mind.
You looked at him. Ah, he was so pretty. Way out of your league. Especially when you were looking like this. Way too big, way to bummed with your anxiety. He would never look at you that way. Why had you eaten that cupcake after coming to the party? But then again, your stomach had been empty, it would make a noise right during your chit chat, you were sure about that. And he would hear that. Youâd had to eat something!Â
Namjoon smiled with his full dimpled smile. Way out of your league.
You saw people passing past you, someone broke a glass, a pretty black dress was wet and smelled like beer and you were fat.
You lost him.Â
â... they wrote me an email about itâŠâ
You squeezed your brain. Random sentences were still coming to you. But they seemed to be muffled, like he or you were underwater.Â
â... I tried to correct that, but it was so hard, you know? I didnât wantâŠâ
His hair looked really good. He always had nice hair.Â
â...Y/N⊠you listeningâŠ?â
He had said your name. You had to focus! Wait, what was he saying?Â
â... and I sold my kidneys because Iâve needed more money for drugs.â
â...what?â, you blinked a few times, not sure youâd heard him correctly.Â
âYou.Are.Not.Listening.To.Me!â, he was mad but still amused by your facial expression.Â
âI-I am!â
âOh yeah? What was the movie about?â
â... a movie? I thought⊠youâve written a bookâŠâ, your confusion was going through the roof.
âThatâs it. You are spilling everything, now.âÂ
âAh, Namjoon. I just drifted away, can you repeat please? That one about drugs?â
You gave him the most charming smile you could produce. But he knew you too well. He had not bought that.Â
âI died. Now your turn.â
âI donât wanna die⊠I was just thinking⊠you know⊠about stuff⊠all of them⊠andâŠâ, you were talking more silently with each new word. You were trying to confuse him, maybe discourage a little. He was so stubborn, but heâd found a good opponent.Â
Namjoon had not bought your mumbling as well. He rolled his eyes and moved even closer to you on the couch. Your heart skipped a bit, you were playing it cool though, pretending him being close to you was not doing anything to you. He was your friend, just your beautiful friend. Who youâd been in love with for decades.Â
âCome on, Y/N. Talk to me.â, he tilted his head, almost bumping into yours. âWhatâs on your mind?â
You could feel how your face was turning red. Namjoon was way too close, you could smell his cologne. You didnât want him to see you so flustered, it would only add more to your anxiety which was already bigger than ever. An urge to hide attacked you even more than before. So you did the only thing that had come to your mind. You took your hood and put it on your head, pulling by the hem, to cover your face as much as possible.
Namjoon gasped in surprise, taken aback by the plot twist. He looked at you with eyes wide open, trying to make any sense out of it.Â
âYou know, I havenât seen you in a long time, but I cannot say I can see you right now.â
You snorted, before any thinking. That was kinda the point. You wanted to look at him but he was not supposed to see you, at least not like that. You were conflicted between spending more time with him as you wanted and hiding in the closet and watching a whole party from that place.Â
But Namjoon had no idea what was going on in your head and since you were refusing to talk to him he decided to leave you be. You were sure heâd said something like âSee you aroundâ and simply left. You knew it was exactly what you had wanted and yet still it hurt. You wanted to be left alone but maybe not by him. But how was he supposed to know that since youâd refused to even talk with him?Â
Agh, you were so conflicted! Your mind was a mess and nothing was able to ease that.Â
You looked around the room, trying to find Namjoon. You wanted to apologize and maybe explain a little what was going on. Not everything, but you didnât want him to be mad at you. He still was your friend, you didnât want to lose that.
You found him next to the drinks table. He simply grabbed a beer and moved to stand in the door frame. Before you even realized, someone had joined him. You didnât recognize her at first, her hair was covering her face. But when she moved your heart stopped for a moment. It was Amber. Your mutual friend from school with whom you both had stayed in touch even after going separate ways and jobs. She always looked good. She was the lucky one whoâd never had to do much to actually look pretty. Her hair, skin or outfit was always on point. That night was not an exception.Â
You had a feeling she liked Namjoon. She had never told you anything or had made a move, but it seemed just too obvious. Or maybe you were just too alerted when it came to women around him. You tended to exaggerate. But you had no idea if Namjoon liked her back.Â
You sat in a complete lack of movement for a moment, observing them, trying to read their body language. You were never good at that and your mind was always going places with assumptions and way too creative imagination. You shook your head. You had to focus!
They were talking, mostly she was. Namjoon was sipping his beer and listening to her. He seemed interested in her story, responding when needed, maintaining eye contact for the whole time.Â
That had been you moments ago. He had been talking with you, he had sat next to you, not being asked for. But you had blown it, of course you had.
Amber laughed at something, something that Namjoon had said. He smiled at her, with that cute dimpled smile and she touched his shoulder. He didnât react in any special way, he was looking straight into her eyes, cheerful and happy. They were having fun. Together.Â
You couldnât breathe. You had to get out of there immediately. You did everything not to run for your life and as gracefully as you were able to, you left the room. People had mostly gathered in the big room or in the garden so when you found a kitchen it was empty. It seemed abnormal but you didnât want to question the fact you could actually be alone. And you needed that.
Seeing Amber with Namjoon was like a punch in the guts. He was not your boyfriend, a friend yes but nothing more. Yet you were jealous, so fucking jealous. Seeing them together immediately had created a scenario in your head of how they hook up at the party and you are left alone and live under the bridge. You were already making yourself cry.Â
But you couldnât stop thinking that they were perfect for each other. Pretty people together always made sense.Â
She was even more gorgeous than him.
No. Nobody was.
But she was way prettier than you, not to mention yet again, she had a flawless body while you were hiding yours under millions of layers to cover up your winter fat. Coming to the party was a mistake. Namjoon didnât want to see you, heâd just wanted to be nice.
You leaned to the counter on the kitchen island, having your back to the door and sighed. Even you were annoyed how much this small change in your appearance was affecting you. You didnât want to be this grumpy. It was not you! Maybe you should go back home and somehow figure all this out in your head? The evening was already ruined, you were not missing anything.Â
It had taken a few moments for you to calm down. You didnât want to cry, it was not worth ruining your simple makeup that way. You took a deep breath, then another one. You closed your eyes: You were such a mess.
Namjoon was passing by the door when you were still contemplating your fate.Â
âY/N?â
You turned around, hearing your name. You were not expecting to be found there and most importantly not by him. You were pretty sure he was too invested into having fun with someone else.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â
He came into the kitchen and stood next to you. His hood was on, although you could see his hair popping up from it.Â
âWhat is up with you today?â, he asked again. He sounded resigned.Â
âAh, nothing really. Just go back to Amber, I donât wanna ruin your evening.â
â... who? No, I was looking for you. Wanted to make sure youâre OK. You seem so off today.â
â⊠oh. Thanks.âÂ
âYou disappeared so suddenly. Did something happen?â
âNo, not reallyâŠâ
âThen why did you leave?â
âUm, I donât wanna talk about thisâŠâ, you waved your hand, trying to dismiss the whole subject, making him forget about it.Â
âWhy? Whatâs going on?â, but he was insisting.Â
âNothing, itâs just me⊠being weird.â
âOK, now you have to tell me.â
âNo! Ugh, itâs really stupid and embarrassingâŠâ, you were already sweating through your T-shirt.Â
âTell me even more.â
You looked at him, begging with your eyes to finally drop the subject. You were already feeling new anxiety crawling on your back, because apparently there was never enough of those. But he was having none of it. He was waiting for you to say something, anything to clear the situation for him. It was really bugging him.Â
You sighed. You were doomed.Â
âIâm feeling really weird⊠Like⊠Iâm not feeling myself right now.â, you tried to put some sense into the whole situation. âAfter this winter⊠itâs been so long and I was so busy⊠I just⊠I got fat and I hate it so much.â
You sighed again. There, youâd said it. It had sounded much more deep in your head, though. When youâd finally said it, when youâd shared your concern with him, it hit you how shallow that actually was. You were worrying about extra kgs like a teenager from an American movie. Namjoon probably had already changed his mind about you.Â
But when you looked at him you saw a complete lack of any expression. He was not disgusted, amused or even bored. He was looking straight into your eyes, maybe waiting for you to say more. But when you hadnât, he just raised his eyebrows.
âThatâs all?â
You knew he hadnât meant anything bad, but you still narrowed your eyes and looked at him with a âDonât you dare to comment thatâ look. You were certain you wouldnât take his any kind of remark easily.Â
But he didn't say anything like that. He didn't comment on your words, he didnât laugh, huffed or called you in any way. He was only looking at you with those brown eyes of his, finally adding one to one and connecting all the dots.Â
âAh, I got fat too, you know. I gained a few kgs, look.âÂ
Without any more explanation, he lifted his hoodie and grabbed a small roll on his waist. He was absolutely insane saying that this would be proof of him getting fat. You even wanted to say that to him, but he grabbed your hand and guided to his body.Â
âSee for yourself.â
You hadnât reacted fast enough. Before you realized what was going on, your hand had landed on, well, him. You felt his warm skin under your fingertips. Youâd never been this close to him. Hell, youâd never touched him like that before! You felt your cheeks getting hot and red, your hand on his waist already sweaty.Â
âN-namjoon, what in theâŠâ
âYou can feel it, right? Fat.â
âWha-Where?!â, your mind was hazy, you hadnât thought that through.
âOh, come on. If you squeeze it you would feel it.â
Your head was already spinning. If someone heard your conversation, weird rumors would spread in no time.Â
Namjoon was still insisting you would agree with him. And seemed to be completely oblivious to your near death state. He was still holding you by your wrist and wanted to move your palm more onto his stomach. You panicked.Â
âMaybe hereâŠ?â
âOh my god, noâŠI donât want-t-to!â, you were feeling like you were about to pass out.
âYou donât want to touch me?â, he giggled.Â
âNo, itâs not that!â
âYou want to touch me?â, he started to laugh.
âYes-NO!â, the moment those words had left your mouth, you pulled your hand from his grasp, using all the strength that you had left and hid your face in your palms, wanting to die on the spot. Your face was hot under your fingertips, you wanted to melt into the floor.
Namjoon was already laughing his ass off. He leaned on the kitchen counter to not fall on the floor. You wanted to punch him in his fake-fat stomach.
Instead of that, absolutely mortified with your previous words, you put your hood back on, pulled the strings and simply hid your already scarlet red face. You hoped it had made you invisible to him.Â
âUGH. Iâm embarrassed enough now, can you please leave me alone?â
Namjoon ignored your words and tried to catch his breath. He was still chuckling when you saw him standing right in front of you.Â
âNot a chance.â
You heard him saying that and then his arms were wrapping around you and pulling you close to him. He hugged you. He hadnât given you any chance to oppose in any way. Not that you wanted to. You were surprised and your heart started to beat like it was the end of your life and it had to show what it had been made of. But you didnât do anything to push him away. Instead, you leaned your head on his chest, closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Having him so close was something youâd always wanted.Â
You felt his fingers digging into you, he was slightly tithing his embrace. He was not letting you go.
âOh, Y/N.â, he sighed. âYou are so fucking weird sometimes, I swear⊠Maybe thatâs why⊠IâŠâ, his voice went really quiet, you couldnât hear everything. Â
âWhy what?â, you asked, having your face still buried in him, but he didnât answer. âWhy what, Namjoon?â, your voice was muffled by his chest.Â
You felt him stiffening. You looked up but his sight was already averted, he was avoiding eye contact with you. He seemed baffled, like heâd surprised himself with his own words. Heâd said something he shouldnât have. He dropped his hands from you and took a step back. You suddenly felt cold, missing Namjoonâs warmth.Â
âWhy what?â, you were not letting this go. âAre you going to make fun of me? Offend me? You just called me weird, I mean I should feel offended by that butâŠâ, you wanted him to tell you what heâd said before, but you didnât want to make all of this too serious.Â
âY/N, just drop itâŠâ
âNo, you had something on your mind. You got my attention and you just want me to drop it?â
âYes. That is exactly what I want.â, Namjoon took another step back.Â
âOh, thatâs just cruel! You were nagging me the whole evening and now you want me to DROP IT?. Come on! We are friends! We..â
âY/N.â, he interrupted you. He pressed his lips, making a thin line of them.Â
âNamjoon.â, you copied him. It just pissed him off.Â
He huffed and looked away. He hid his hands in his pockets, he looked so uncomfortable. Exactly the same as you'd been just a moment ago.Â
âWas it about the thing⊠Iâve said earlier? About being fat?â
âWhat? Y/N, what the hell?â, he rolled his eyes. âWhy are you getting back to this?â
âYou hugged me. Did you feelâŠâ
âCan we really drop this?â, he covered his face with his palms, trying to find any sense in your conversation. He was getting a headache.Â
âBut you said something about me.â
âIâm going to kill myselfâŠâ, he was talking to himself.
âDo you have a problem with meâŠ?â
âNo, Y/N. I like you!â, he blurted out, just to shut you up.Â
And you shut your mouth immediately. What had he just said?Â
Namjoonâs face went slightly pink, he was actually blushing. Yet again, he had problems with looking at you, he was trying to focus on anything else. You could see his sight jumping around the room, him getting more flustered each passing moment.Â
What had he just said?
Namjoon liked you.Â
He couldnât believe he actually had said that. Mumbling a soft confession, simply talking to himself while he had been hugging you was one thing, but screaming straight forward to finally make you stop talking was something else. He was already regretting that, putting his heart on the plate like that, without any good reason. And hope.Â
Because deep down he hoped you felt the same. He was pretty sure you didnât, though. You were just friends, good friends to be more specific. He always liked you, he hadnât realized when his affection towards you had become something more. It must have been a slow process. One of those when you wake up one day and you are madly in love, not remembering all the steps getting there. His crush on you had been killing him lately. He had missed you, wanted to see you so bad. When you had written to him you would come to the party he couldnât be happier. He hadnât planned confessing, but had hoped to at least spend some time with you, alone. He liked you so much.Â
Wait, Namjoon liked you? He really did? You wanted to shake your head in disbelief. That was impossible. That was so strange. That was so ironic, you could barely believe that. It hit you how youâd been killing yourself with doubts and uncertainties and it all hadnât made any sense. Because Namjoon liked you.Â
You snorted before the rational part of your brain stopped you. You simply couldn't help yourself. Next snort turned into laughter, which surprised both of you. Namjoon finally looked at you. He did not expect you to laugh at him. He hadnât planned to confess to you that night, his words just had slipped out. It had happened and he had to deal with that. But laughing? Oh fuck, this was worse than anything he could have ever imagined.Â
He was hurt. Youâd hurt him. He blinked once, twice, he couldnât believe that, he couldn't look at you anymore. He wiped his face, just to do something with his hands and took a few steps back. If that was the case, if you were laughing at his feelings, he didnât have to stay there and listen to that. He turned around to leave the kitchen. He had to organize his thoughts, estimate the damage.Â
â... Namjoon⊠no⊠wait!â, you breathed out and reached out to him.Â
You manage to grab the hem of his hoodie, to stop him. You were still laughing, not getting the atmosphere that was in the room. But Namjoon was still leaving, dragging you with him. He was too strong, you were not able to pull him back. So, while still holding his hoodie you moved your other hand and tried to catch his hood. You caught the tip of it and pulled it down, just to stop him, just to slow him down. Namjoon was still running away from you so it tightened around his throat. You heard him groaning, but he finally stopped in place.Â
You didnât want to let him go, even when he turned around to face you.Â
âYouâre not only laughing at me but also strangling me?â
He was sulky and sad. You wanted to make sense out of all of that. It was just a misunderstanding. You finally had to stop laughing!Â
âIâm not laughing at youâŠâ, you tried to catch your breath. âI just⊠canât believe it⊠You like me.â, you stopped for a moment, your mouth went dry from all that laughter.Â
âIs it⊠so bad?âÂ
âYes.â, Namjoon froze on the spot, feeling like someone had stabbed him straight into his face. But you knew what you wanted to say. You smiled. âIâve been crushing on you forever and all this time⊠you liked me?â, you dropped your hands, to finally let him free.Â
Namjoon used that moment to detangle from his hood and find a way out of the kitchen. Your words hadnât hit him at first.Â
âWait-what? You like me too?â, his eyes went wide open.Â
You were only able to nod. What was there more to say? You both had just confessed to each other, in the most awkward way possible.Â
Namjoon was looking at you with his big eyes. And he was looking straight right into yours. Your cheeks became slightly pink under his intense gaze. His lips started to curl into an adorable smile. First shyly, his brain was slowly accepting new information. His dimples popping out were a sign of his full blown smile already brightening up his face. You simply felt how hot it had become in the room.Â
âYou like me back.â, his eyes went full crescent moons, his smile was wider than ever.
He looked down at his feet, a little embarrassed, a little overwhelmed. But he couldn't stop smiling. He looked up back at you, with his face slightly flushed but brightened up. The wave of relief that had run through him was immeasurable.Â
âNot sure what to do now.â, you shifted in place.Â
This time Namjoon snorted. Thankfully, none of you had understood that as laughing at the other.Â
He knew exactly what to do. Or more like, he knew what he wanted to do, what heâd been thinking about for way too long. He wiped his palms into his pants. He was already sweating. Just thinking about what he was about to do was making him nervous.Â
With just two steps he moved closer and stood right in front of you. He slid down your hood from your head, cupped your face and kissed you. Just like that. Youâd only had a chance to gasp right before your lips met. There was no warning, no music in the background, no time to prepare. There was a pounding in your head and you werenât sure if you didnât collapse on the spot.Â
In your mind you had been kissing him many times. Youâd even prepared a scenario for your first kiss. It had never been in the kitchen, right after you complained about being fat and strangling Namjoon with his own hood. You could hear other people behind the wall. Someone was puking in the bathroom. Romanticism had gone straight to hell.Â
And yet you didnât care. You could only focus on him and how his hands had moved from your face to your neck and shoulders. His touch was gentle, like it had been the first time you even felt his hands on you. Youâd been friends forever, but never anything more. Thatâs why you wanted more.
You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him closer. He was slightly surprised with your eagerness, but didnât complain even for a second. You felt how he smiled between kisses, kissed that he was deepening each moment. You felt his tongue on yours, he tasted like beer.
He pushed his weight on you, making you step back and pressing your butt to the kitchen island's counter. He grabbed you by your waist and simply put you on it, sliding between your legs. You gasped feeling his hands on your hips, pressing you onto him. He moved his kisses on your neck, making you arch your head to the side. He was kissing you like heâd never done this before or it had been so long, heâd missed it way too much.Â
His palms slid down to your thighs, spread on your body, enjoying its warmth.
âNow, where is that fat youâve been talking about? I can see nothing of the sort.âÂ
You didnât know what to say and you were not sure if he actually was waiting for anything from you. You just wanted him to touch you.Â
âYouâre so sexyâŠThatâs all I can seeâŠâÂ
His face was right in front of yours, he saw your shy smile. He also noticed you wanted to say something, maybe argue about that, deny being a hot piece of ass for him, so he quickly got back to kissing you to suppress any disagreement in the discussion.Â
None of you heard Hoseok, your mutual friend and your roommate's boyfriend walking in. He was going around the house, from room to room and when heâd entered the kitchen, he was not expecting to see you in a make out session. And from his angle, he was able to see only you.Â
âOh hey Y/N, donât mind me but have you seen Namjoon somewhere?â, he had no problems with interrupting you.Â
Namjoon lifted up his head and looked at his friend with an annoyed expression.Â
âOh⊠OH. OK. In that case, do you mind putting Namjoon out of your mouth and lending him to me?â
âNo.â, you meant that. Your cheeks were still pink, not sure about the reason for that anymore.Â
âJoon?â
âYou heard her.âÂ
Hoseok was so shocked and amused at the same time he simply wanted to stay and see where all of this was going. He even leaned into a door frame, folded his arms on his chest watching the show you were giving to him in the kitchen, something he had not expected to see that night.Â
Or any other night. He knew Namjoon was into you and had been trying to convince him to talk to you about it. Yes, you were friends but heâd had a feeling this would end up in a good way. He liked you both, he wanted you to be happy.Â
And he was fucking right. He was mentally shaking his hand for manifesting you hooking up with Namjoon. Namjoon, who was still looking at him, waiting for him to leave and let you be alone again.
Hoseok threw his arms in the air, showing how much he disapproved of the whole leaving idea, but then he left, being the best friend he always had been.
Namjoon huffed after him and quickly got back to you, already missing feeling your soft skin under his lips. He immediately wrapped his hands around you, pulling back to him. He pulled you by your hips, which made you slide on the kitchen counter, you felt him right between your legs. He was playing with the hem of your hoodie. It was getting steamy, even more than before. Namjoon was kissing you like he wanted to catch up all those years thinking he couldn't have you.Â
You moaned into his mouth. You loved this, you always wanted this. Namjoon touching you, kissing you. Damn, that was a dream coming true! You wanted all of that! But maybe, not all at once? You didnât have to score all bases possible at once. You felt he was getting more into, his touch was not that soft and gentle as before. One of his hands stayed on your hips. It sneaked under your hoodie, you felt his fingertips on your skin. You shivered.Â
âMay-beâŠâ, you broke the kiss, breathing hard. It wasnât easy, Namjoon was keeping you close to him. âI think ...we should slow down a littleâŠâ, you werenât losing your grip on him as well, even while saying those words.Â
Namjoon cleared his throat. He knew you were right. He wanted to agree and disagree with you at the same time. Heâd wanted you for so long, he probably had gone too far and too fast on your first make out session. He just loved kissing you.Â
âYe-Yes. Yes, you are right.â, he was missing a lot of blood from his head and had problems with focusing.Â
You touched his round cheek. His eyes were immediately on you, waiting for anything from you. You kissed him softly on his lips, still holding his face.Â
Soft kiss was definitely not an invitation to something more and Namjoon knew that. He had to calm himself. He didnât want to come out as a horny animal that couldn't control itself. You were special to him, this had to be special.Â
He nodded again, agreeing with you, knowing you were right. He took a step back, dropping his hands off of you. He cleared his throat again.
âI-I think I will look for Hoseok, check what he wants from meâŠBut donât go, OK?â
You smiled at him and nodded. He smiled back and before he left you, he quickly adjusted himself in his pants. He seemed not to care about the fact that youâd seen that and he just left. But it hit you. He had a boner. And after making out with you, after touching you. Not perfect Amber but you, with your winter size. Your cheeks got hot and red back again. He got aroused because of you. Now, that was something to think about.Â
If Namjoon had heard your thoughts he would have been back to you in an instant. He definitely had gotten too excited about your mutual confessions, he had gone too fast with making out with you. His boner was still there when he found Hoseok in front of the bathroom. He seemed to be waiting for someone, surprised to see Namjoon, after being kicked out of the kitchen.Â
âWhat are you doing here?â
âI was looking for youâŠâ, his voice was slightly hoarse.Â
âOh, Y/N spit you out of her mouth, good. OK, first of all: Congrats!. Youâve been in love with her for like forever and you finally scored!âÂ
âWha-I did not! What are you talking aboutâŠâ, Namjoonâs cheek got pink again.Â
âIs that so?â
Hoseok smirked and eyed Namjoon up and down for some drama. His eyesight stopped on a still visible tent in Namjoonâs pants. He raised his eyebrows with an unspoken question.Â
âAnd thatâs because youâre so excited to see me?â
Namjoon fixed his hoodie, trying to cover himself with it.
âDonât flatter yourself.âÂ
âI mean, itâs completely normal. Y/N is hot and you probably have been thinking about her all this timeâŠâ
âWhy are we talking about this?â, Namjoon was losing the point of that conversation.
âThere is nothing to be ashamed of! Having a bonerâŠâ
âOK, stop looking at my penis. Or maybe you like it that much?â
âNah, thanks. I like my dates without one.â
âSo, what did you want?â, arousal was quickly exchanged with annoyance.
âI wanted to say weâre leaving and if youâre not leaving with us there would be no one to drive you home.â
âI think Iâll stay with Y/N. Iâll be fine.âÂ
âIâm sure you will.âÂ
âYouâre weird.âÂ
âSo, are you gonna hit that?â
âIâm gonna pretend I didnât hear that.â
âWhy? You want her, you always did.â
âI did. I still do, but Iâm not gonna be a jerk and get in her pants a moment after weâve confessed to each other.â
âThatâs so cute. But thatâs not what I saw when Iâve come into the kitchen last time.â
âUgh, OK I know. I got carried away⊠I shouldnât have thrown myself on herâŠâ
âNah, you should fuck her. It would ease the tension and everybody would be happy.â
âIâm not gonna tell Y/N about this. She would bite your dick off if she heard you talking shit like this.âÂ
âIâm not into that but you two have fun. Speaking of, let me talk with Y/N first.â
Namjoon did not understand friendâs words fast enough. He tried to stop Hoseok, worrying what he would say to you, but he smoothly passed him and went straight to the kitchen. Namjoon was mortified.Â
Hoseok quickly found you, still waiting in the kitchen. You hadnât even left the counter, you were still sitting at the spot Namjoon had left you. Surprised it was not him coming to you, you raised your eyebrows in question.Â
âY/N, congratulations on your new Namjoon!â, he screamed.Â
Hoseok opened his arms to hug you. You were so confused you just went with it, without any questions.Â
âI knew you would end up together. Namjoon was fapping way too hard to you.â
âThatâs⊠thatâs a very interesting TMI.â
âYeah, maybe you should ask him about this later.â
âMaybe I willâŠâ
âFor nowâŠâ
He reached out to his back pocket and gave you a small packaging. You didnât recognize it at first, not knowing what he was up to. But you rolled it in your palm, trying to check what was written on the plastic. It turned out to be a pack of condoms. You looked at him with another confusion and added some embarrassment to the party.Â
âWhy?â
âYou kids stay safe.â
âWeâre notâŠâ
âThere is nothing wrong with banging on the first date but make it safe!â
âI donât think we need this right nowâŠâ, you were handing over the condoms back to Hoseok. Saying you were starting to feel uncomfortable would be a gigantic understatement. And Namjoon was somewhere near, probably hearing everything.Â
âNamjoon is crazy about you. If you asked for his dick he would give it to you in an instant. He was still hard when he came to talk to me.â
âWere you always like this or is this some kind of a new trait of yours?â
âI carry about you. I want you two to be happy.â
âThanks, mom.âÂ
The whole conversation was making you sweat through your clothes. Youâd barely confessed to Namjoon. Were you even a couple? You liked him, he liked you, heâd gotten a boner. Was that already serious?Â
You were still handing the condoms over. You didnât know what you should do.
âKeep it. Just in case. I have more for myself, donât worry.â
You surrendered and took condoms back just to make him stop talking about them. You hid them in your hoodie pocket, hoping there would be a trash bin somewhere near so you could throw them away.Â
âOK. That is settled, so as Iâve already told Namjoon, we are leaving. You would need to find another way of getting home. Have fun and tell me about everything tomorrow!â
He hugged you again and you just waved when he was leaving the kitchen. That was a lot of events for just one conversation. You sighed heavily. Your not-a-relationship relationship with Namjoon was already stressful.Â
Namjoon came back to you right after your step mom had left. He looked worried.Â
âWhat did he say to you?â
âHe gave me this.â, you showed him the condoms.Â
âWhat the fuck⊠Why did he do that? We donât need this! I mean⊠sure we do to have safe sex⊠not that weâre gonna have sex! Because we wonât! I mean today, because I donât want to⊠No, I do, I really do⊠Y/N please tell me to finally shut the fuck up.âÂ
You were already shaking from laughter. You stopping him from this beautiful monologue was not an option.Â
âYou're definitely laughing at me way too often this evening.âÂ
He quickly moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. It had become so natural to you so fast.Â
âHe also told me youâve been fapping way too hard to me.â
âWha-That degenerate⊠Look whoâs talking. Before he started to date his girlfriend he got blisters on his hands. Um, not saying that youâre my girlfriend now⊠unless⊠you want to?â
Somehow you missed his question. You took his palm into yours and was looking at the inside of it.
âY/N, what are you doing?â
âIâm looking for blisters.â, how you were able to sustain a firm voice, you would never know.
Namjoon almost spit all over you while trying to suppress his laughter. He leaned more into you, hiding his face in your neck, still laughing. There was something about confessing to your friend. Youâd crossed that line and had become something more but you had that friends foundation, being able to still joke around, have your inside jokes, acting like kids just because. Making Namjoon laugh would always be your favorite thing to do.Â
And with that you realized the whole mood from before had been gone already. Kissing Namjoon was fantastic, you could die like that. But youâd just confessed and didnât have to score on the points in your relationship at once, in just one night. You could wait.Â
When heâd finally calmed down and had lifted his head, you asked Namjoon if you actually could go home. Maybe your own mood had gone way better than it was before, but you were getting tired anyway. You were actually excited for what was coming next. Would Namjoon text you something cute in the morning? There was a whole nother life ahead of you and you couldnât wait.
Namjoon agreed to look for Hoseok, hoping he was still around and ask him to take both of you home. He was probably going to your place anyway, to spend some time with his girlfriend.
But Namjoon couldnât find him. It seemed he was too late. Frustrated, he was running around the house, checking twice to make sure and grunted under his mouth. He actually had no idea who he should ask at that moment, he was hoping to spend the whole night with you at the party, even if it was to fall asleep on the couch together.Â
But then someone caught his arm and stopped him. Namjoon turned around and saw Amber.
âI was looking for you everywhere. Where did you go?â
âAh, here and there. Wanted to catch up with everyone, since I got a chance.â
âI missed you. We still haven't finished our conversation.â, she was still touching his arm, sliding up and down.
Namjoon followed her movements, with a poker face. He had had a nice chat with her before, but now he was trying to get you and him some ride home and she was wasting his time.
âI know, but itâs getting late. I wouldâŠâ, he was already bucking up.
âTrue. So why donât we hang out⊠letâs say tomorrow? Iâm free tomorrow.â
âOh. Oh, thatâs nice. Thank you for the invitation but I think Iâll pass.â
âWhatâŠ? Why? If youâre busy I can wait. I have a whole day just for myself.â
âReally, thank you. Thatâs very nice of youâŠâ, he moved away, to be out of her reach. âBut I canât. But thank you!â
Namjoon was trying to be as polite as possible. It was nice to meet Amber at the party but he had no intentions of meeting her any other day. They were never close friends and catching up with her like that was enough for him.
âLike I said⊠It's getting late. I was looking for Hoseok, so he could drive me home but I cannot find him anywhereâŠâ
âI can drive you home!â, she almost screamed.Â
âOh, really? But⊠you donât live anywhere close⊠I donât want to cause any trouble.â
âItâs not trouble at all. I was thinking about leaving as well, anyway.â
âOh, OK. But you would have to go to another part of the city⊠Is that really OK?â
âNamjoon.â, she took a step towards him. âI can drive you, donât worry about it.â
âWell, can I take someone with me? How big is your car?â
âSomeone with youâŠ?â, Amber was confused for a moment, but she didnât want to lose that opportunity, so she quickly smiled back. âSure, not a problem.â
âAwesome! Then, please wait here. Iâll be back in a second!â
Namjoon ran back to the kitchen to give you the good news, happy heâd managed to find you a drive home.
Amber, on the other hand, was worrying who he was going to bring. When sheâd proposed to drive him home, she was obviously hoping for some time alone. A third person was like a fifth wheel, could ruin everything. But then she saw you and had never been so relieved. She knew you were friends. Friends and nothing else. And you lived on the way to Namjoonâs home so they still would have time for themselves, after dropping you off at your place. You were zero threat to her.Â
She smiled at you, like she was actually happy to see you. You were walking behind Namjoon, looking shy and out of place. She took you both to her car and to her surprise you both sat at the back seat. She wanted to ask Namjoon to sit at the front, so that it would be much more comfortable for him since there was more space, but he kindly refused. Amber only shrugged, thinking he was just taking care of you as his friend, making sure you were getting home safe. She didnât pay that much attention to you while on the road, she didnât see how he took your hand in his.Â
When you arrived at your building, Namjoon immediately left with you, asking Amber to wait for a moment. She agreed with a big smile but she started to watch him closely. She was getting impatient. She wanted to get rid of you, you were in her way.Â
Amber couldnât hear properly what you were talking about. You both were smiling, Namjoon bit his lower lip. She was about to avert her sight, being annoyed and bored already but then she saw how Namjoon kissed you. He was holding his hands on your shoulders, you grabbed his wrists and yes, you were kissing. Not like friends, definitely not friends. Friends shouldnât be kissing!Â
That was some bullshit. No wonder he had been refusing her and leaving her at the party all that time. She hadnât been doing anything wrong. It was not her fault. It was yours.Â
Amber was pissed and felt like she had wasted way too much time for you. While being too proud to endure that kind of humiliation, Amber simply turned on the car engine and without any word, she left.Â
Namjoon only heard the car driving away.Â
âOK, rudeâŠâ, he was looking at the empty place on the street. âI thought⊠she would also drive me back homeâŠâ, he seemed pretty bummed.
You were still living a few long bus stops away from him. It was already late, he had no idea how to get home safely. There was nobody to drive him.Â
âAh, this is just great. What am I supposed to do now?â
You looked at him. You know you shouldnât focus on that, but he looked really cute while worrying like that.Â
âYou know what? You can sleep over.â
Namjoonâs facial expression changed in an instant.
âOh no, Y/N, thatâs OK, you really donât need to⊠I-I will be fine. ReallyâŠ!â
âI said: sleepover, not move in.âÂ
âUh, I know⊠But we canâŠâ
âYouâve already slept here, it will be fine.â
It was true. Namjoon once had slept at your place before. He had stayed way too long and had had no options of getting home, just like that particular moment. Heâd stayed with you in your bed, with you sleeping on one side and him on the other. Or at least he had been sleeping. Youâd been scared to move or do anything, kept thinking he had been right there, next to you, wearing just his T-shirt and boxer shorts. Your neck had been hurting for the whole following week after laying so stiff in one place for hours.Â
âBut⊠are you sure? You really donât need toâŠâ
âWorst case scenario I would kick you to the bathroom and you will sleep in the bathtub.â
You knew he wouldnât do anything against your will. You were feeling safe with him. You were past just the friends phase, but that didnât mean sleeping together in one bed had to become something serious.Â
You took his hand in yours, just like he had done that in the car and guided him to your apartment. He knew the way, but he obediently followed you. You opened the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake up your roommate and Hoseok probably. You wanted to spare yourself loud questions and meaningful looks. You went inside your room, Namjoon was still behind you.Â
âI will just take a quick showerâŠâ
Namjoon only smiled at you. You went to the bathroom, quickly washed yourself and dressed in comfy pajamas. You were getting really tired and wanted to just jump into your bed and fall asleep. When you opened the door you found Namjoon already there, waiting for you. His pants were hanging on your chair and their owner was laying on the side with eyes closed. He must have been very tired.
You circled the bed and tried to lay down as gently as possible. Namjoon was wearing his T-shirt, you hadnât noticed his hoodie anywhere in the room. You covered yourself tightly with a comforter and scooped closer to him. He must have been only half asleep because when youâd been already close enough he reached to you and hugged you. You immediately complied and snuggled into him, enjoying it so much. This was not the first time Namjoon slept with you in your bed. But for the first time he was this close, he was hugging you, he was not just your friend and you were pretty sure your neck would not hurt you anymore.Â
His warmth was soothing, you could feel his breath on your forehead. You fell asleep in no time, feeling as comfortable as ever.
â----
You werenât sure if youâd been already awake or the loud noises coming straight from your friend had woken you up. You opened your eyes, it was already bright. You saw Namjoon laying in front of you, probably not sleeping as well, but pretending as hard as he could. You wanted to join him very much, but someone else was still doing the best they could to prevent that.Â
You looked up and finally discovered who was the source of all that noise. When your vision cleared up, washing away all what was left from your sleep, you saw Hoseok standing right above you and Namjoon. He looked pissed.
â... what?â, you tried to ask what he was doing there, but your brain could only process that one word.
â... do you have any idea what you have done? Why were you not thinkingâŠ?â
You blinked a few times. You knew he was talking, loudly and probably more to himself than to you, but you had a hard time catching single words and their meaning anyway.
Why was he mad at you in the first place?
You lifted yourself on your elbow to see him better. Namjoon was earning his Oscar for a fake sleep all this time, you didnât have that in yourself to interrupt him. You tried to focus on a person standing behind him, next to your bed.
And then something hit your face. You shuddered, taken completely out of guard. You took a glimpse at a small object laying on your comforter. Condoms. Condoms that Hoseok had given you. The same ones. The ones youâd left in your hoodie, which had probably fallen to the floor.Â
You looked up at your friend with condoms in your hand.
âI told you to stay safe!â, he was near crying right in front of you.Â
When you realized what he was talking about, why he was screaming at you, you rolled your eyes so hard you felt them scratching the back of your skull. He was still playing your mom role, taking care of you even if you didnât want that.Â
You discarded the condom on the floor and laid back on the bed. Hoseok huffed in disbelief, you ignoring him in that kind of matter was unacceptable. You couldnât care less. You rolled in your spot, back to Namjoon to be a small spoon and moved back to feel him on your body. Without hesitation he tossed his arm around your waist and hugged you. He hid his face in the back of your neck, laughing at the whole situation. He had been listening to everything and had the time of his life. You only pinched him on his wrist as punishment. You had all the time in the world with him. You stopped hearing Hoseok in the background. Heâd become just a noise. You smiled to yourself and closed your eyes, feeling as happy as ever.
warning: not everything might be geographically accurate
"joonie!"
you yelled as your boyfriend picked you up and carried you bridal style up the hiking path. you pouted slightly as a chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. he kissed your forehead softly, "you said you were tired, baby."
"yeah! but we could have taken a break, you didn't have to pick me up!"
you pouted again, glaring playfully down at your crossed arms. both of you were hiking up a trail to what joon called the 'perfect star gazing spot'. it was late afternoon and the sun would be set within the next two hours. he surprised you by coming home early this afternoon and saying you guys were going on a trip. he drove about an hour before parking at the base of a mountain. the sky was clear and blue, it was so beautiful out. the scenery around you both was so visually stunning.
along the way up the trail, you had been snapping pictures in different angles excitedly. you were rambling to him about how you couldn't wait to show jungkook the pictures, knowing that he would love them. joon looked at you a couple times mesmerized by how beautiful you looked with the sun shining down on you, stray hairs in your face and only focusing on the camera.
at one point, you caught him off-guard and snapped a picture of him. when you pulled up the result, a smile was wide on your face and he chuckled quietly at your reaction. he grabbed your camera with a smile and snapped a selfie before handing it back to you. it made you so happy that he was so okay with you constantly having your camera.
he loved you. he hadn't said it yet but he did. he loved when you were passionate and excited about things that you were interested in, he thought you were cute when you rambled on and on about different types of photography styles. he noticed how intently you listened to him when he talked about his own interests, he didnât know it at the time but you were always genuinely interested in what he had to say.
after a little while of him carrying you up the trail, he slowed and let you down. you saw the trail flattened into a clearing that was mostly grassy surrounded by few trees. it was so beautiful. joon grabbed your hand happily and led you towards one of the trees that provided somewhat shade from the sun that was still shining. he let go and slid off his backpack, you followed in suit and watched him pull out two semi-large blankets that were rolled up similar to sleeping bags. you knew they were blankets though due to the fact that they were the throw blankets that you both kept on the back of the couch in your apartment.
he spread the blanket out then pulled out two small pillows from the same backpack, you let out a laugh and he looked up at you with a questioning look. âwhat are you laughing at?â
âyou fit all of that into that small backpack. i kept wondering why it looked like it was going to rip at the seams, you could have asked me to put the pillows in my bag, joonie.â
âi wanted you to be comfortable, princess. plus in your bag is-â
he reached forward, sliding the bag off of your shoulders and sitting down comfortably before motioning for you to follow. you sat down cross-legged and watched as he opened the bag. joon pulled out a new book, a bottle of wine, a two-pack container with two cupcakes, some disposable cups, and a fruit bowl. looking up at you expectantly, he waited for your response.
he did all of this for you? he was so thoughtful and sweet. it was one of your favorite things about him. you loved him for everything that he was and everything he strived to be. to you, he was so intelligent and well-read. you liked how he was able to string words together and make them sound so beautiful and elegant. being able to have in-depth conversations and not feeling like you had to dumb yourself down for him was your favorite thing. you loved how he made impromptu dates for the both of you. ones like this are the ones you would cherish the most because he had put so much thought into something this simple and it brought genuine happiness and a smile to your face.
you gave him a wide smile, tears brimming in your eyes from how sweet it was. his face lit up happily seeing your smile. âaww, joon. you didnât have to do all of this.â
âi wanted to, baby. because youâre so important to me and i love being able to take you out and spend time with you. even if itâs just this and not some fancy restaurant.â
âthese are my favorite types of dates. i love when you do things like this. it shows me how much you care and how thoughtful you are. and i love it. i really do.â wiping the tears that were in your eyes, you laughed a little as he set up the food and wine in front of the two of you before adjusting the small pillows and leaning back against the tree. he motioned for you to come closer, to which you did. you leaned against his side, with your head on his chest as he picked up the new poetry book and started reading to you quietly. you loved listening to him read, or even just talk. his deep, velvety voice calms you down, making you feel safe and comfortable.
closing your eyes, you felt his chest vibrate against your face as he continued to read softly. you sighed happily, listening to him turning the pages ever so often. eventually, he closed the book and started humming quietly as he ran his fingers through your hair. you felt him lean forward and leave a soft kiss on your forehead which caused a small smile from you. a light blush danced its way across your cheeks as you opened your eyes and saw how close he was. he gave you a playful smirk and kissed your forehead one more time.
the sun was almost set and the stars were coming out slowly, joon adjusted himself once more and positioned the now open fruit bowl next to him as you watched the sky turn completely dark. he would occasionally reach down, eat a piece of fruit and then feed one to you while you were completely mesmerized by how bright the stars shone. there was no city smog out here, no pollution. just an open, clear sky. after comfortably laying there for a few more minutes, namjoon adjusted once more and watched as your finger pointed towards a constellation.
âwhatâs that one?â
you didnât know it at the time but he specifically chose tonight knowing how bright the constellations would look. he even went and researched the autumn constellations so he could tell you things about them. the one you pointed at looked like a misshapen capital e.
âitâs aquarius. based around the zodiac, itâs latin for water-carrier or cup-carrier. the brightest star in the constellation is called the beta aquarii. there are twelve stars in it with confirmed planets. but it consists of twenty-two main stars. itâs the tenth largest.â
you made a sound in awe at his explanation, looking back up at the sky. there was a larger one next to it, it basically took up a lot of sky. it had a large square and three lines branching off it. you smiled again then moved your finger down to it. âwhat about that one?â
looking back from the sky, you looked up expectantly at him and waited for him to continue. he stared up at the sky with a small smile on his face. he was so beautiful in the moonlight and when he would go off with long explanations, you loved it. you loved learning new things and enjoyed it more when he was the one teaching them to you. his intelligence always shined through and inspired you to expand your mind. you loved him, truly.
âthat one is pegasus, itâs symbolic of the white-winged horse from greek mythology and itâs the seventh-largest constellation. it contains several galaxies, but there are four notable galaxies within it. it has a bright globular cluster and has twelve stars with confirmed planets. the square at the base dominates the sky. most people use it to see andromeda.â
he continued telling you about pegasus in greek mythology and how he was a son of poseidon and medusa. he sprang about after perseus beheaded medusa, he belonged to bellerophon and there were two famous springs in greece named the hippocrene that most believed to come from pegasus.
he was so enthusiastic and it fascinated you to listen to him. when he noticed you werenât looking at the constellation anymore and staring at him, he went quiet before tightly wrapping his arms around you and leaving a loving kiss on your forehead once more.
âjoon..i love you.â
his eyes were wide and his face was full of surprise which caused a blush to appear across your cheeks that you were sure was visible in the moonlight. he stayed quiet and looked down at you with a smile on his face, you were so beautiful to him. your features were highlighted by the bright light coming off of the moon, your hair seemed to glow and your eyes were bright. he leaned down, catching your lips in his as he gave you a soft kiss.
âi love you, so much.â
he spoke barely above a whisper as he pulled away, looking down away from your face. you kissed his chin then caught his lips and kissed him, he tightened his arms around you when you pulled away and he stuck his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling your perfume. it smells like sweet peaches and mahogany. he loved it. before he would leave for tours or to travel, he would make sure you sprayed some on his hoodies or pillow just so he could have a piece of you with him when he knew he would be gone long. you smiled into his chest and spoke once more, âi am in love with you, kim namjoon.â
âyouâre the brightest star in my galaxy, and i am in love with you.â
 reposting, modifying or translating is not allowed. appropriate legal action will be taken if any of my works are plagiarized in any way, shape or form.
Upcoming: Guardian Angel Guidebook pt. 2! (May 2026)
To all my followers
Hello! All of the content in the masterlist is SFW. Enjoy!
⟠= personal favorite
â = reader favorites
OT7 Fics ââ
Happy Holidays - BTS StyleÂ
A compilation of all the holiday requests I received in preparation for the holidays! (using dialogue prompts)
The Book of Soulmates â
A compilation of all the soulmate au requests I received in preparation for Valentineâs day!
Spooked (oneshot) â
You + all 7 members of BTS visiting a haunted house. What could go wrong?
So, so much.
The Pact (series) âŸÂ â
The boys made a pact about you. And now theyâre each taking you out on a date. To even the playing field or something. (continuation of âSpookedâ)
Working Overtime (one shot)
A freak storm forces the biggest band on the planet to spend the evening seeking shelter at your small cafe. Of course, you can't complain about having to work overtime.
When theyâre in love with you but you have feelings for a different member (reactions)
How to Sell Sunshine âŸâ
âIâve always wanted to be the villain.â (mafia!au)
How to Steal Moonlight
"When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it." (sequel)
BTS Members as...
sometimes I ask you guys to send in stuff and I write up some stuff for it
Individual Fics ââ
Series
7 SecretsÂ
Status: Completed âŸ
â For the past three years, Beth has struggled and fought against the notion that she has a soulmate. It was only when she met six other girls who were in the same predicament that she finally decided that this was her life. The only real problem? Her soulmate has no idea that she even exists. Much less that soulmates are even a thing. Will she ever get to meet her soulmate, the ever popular and beloved Kim Namjoon of BTS? Does she even want to anymore?
7 Secrets DrabblesÂ
Compiled in the link above is a list of all the drabbles I wrote that go along with my series, 7 Secrets. These come from different perspectives and show a bit more of the story! Enjoy!
Oneshots
The one where Beth finds the diss trackÂ
Itâs LateÂ
â A peek into your life with Namjoon after an award show. (slice of life au)
Dad of DestructionÂ
â You love Namjoon with all your heart, and youâre so happy that together, you get to raise this child. However, you also want that child to make it to adulthood in one piece, and Namjoon has a startling talent for breaking things. Mama bear mode = ON.
The Passport â
â You embark on a memorable journey in an attempt to return Kim Namjoonâs passport. What lengths will you go to in order to return his passport on time?
Butter
â They made ARMY sit through an hour of melting butter. Now we return the favor.
12:22am
â you were wearing green the last time he saw you.
New Haircut(e), Who Dis?
â âYouâre like a stupid amount of hot no matter what.â
Again
â In which you and Namjoon both have feelings for each other and finally do something about it.
Little Devil
â she's a witch. he's a demon. he's her final test. she's his final conquest.
Series
The Other SideÂ
CompletedÂ
â How to survive a soulmate encounter: first, get into separate rooms. Second, call 911 if there are no soulmate assistant present. Should be fairly easy, right?
Oneshots
The one where they just...melted (7 Secrets Drabbles) âŸ
Close your eyesÂ
â friends to lovers au, will Jin finally make his move?
The Escape RoomÂ
â Three words: competitive. escape. room.
If Youâll Have Me âŸÂ â
â Kim Seokjin. The love of your life. Your boyfriend of three years. The man who insists on taking you to the zoo for every milestone in your lives together. Thereâs just one thing...you have no idea what youâre celebrating this time.
Cheap Seats
â âI pay half your cable bill. You wouldnât survive without me.â
Series
Mine  âŸ
CompletedÂ
â  The first time an up and coming actress sets foot on the Graham Norton show sheâs confronted with questions that have less to do with her upcoming film âYoung Risingâ, and much more to do with BTS. More specifically with one of their rappers, Suga. Cara is an open supporter and fan of the band, however when Min Yoongi is shipped with the bilingual up-and-coming actress after mentioning her in an interview, things start to get out of hand. Fanart, twitter trends, and stalkers ensue, leaving Caraâs career up to an unknown fate. Then comes the moment the world didnât even realize it was waiting for: a solo track from Agust D that raises more questions than answers, especially for Cara.Â
Oneshots
The one where Yoongi gets teased (7 Secrets Drabbles)
New Yearâs Eve Bliss
â New Years eve shared giggles with Min Yoongi
Shut Eye // Shut Eye: The Other Side â
â In a world where every night you meet your soulmate in your dreams only to forget their face and voice when you wake up, youâre now more desperate than ever to find them.
Memoir of a Fake Girlfriend âŸÂ â
â âI need to ask a favorâŠâ âNope. No way. I am not pretending to be your girlfriend again.â âOh, câmon!â
Golden Hour
â In which Yoongi is the boy youâve friend-zoned for years and you finally realize that heâs all you want.
Series
Where you should be Â
Completed Â
â There are six words that Jung Ha-rin has carried with her since February of 2019. She repeats them to herself every night when she longs to dream of a certain idol. She chants them to herself at work when her mind starts to wander. And they become her mantra when she can feel Jung Hoseokâs gaze upon her from across the studio. End it before it can begin.
Oneshots
The one where there is no secret cove (7 Secrets Drabbles)
Ivy âŸ
â Youâve been promised to Jung Hoseok for twelve years. Youâve never wanted anything else. Until now. (JHS x reader, JJK x reader)
Make a Move â
â You thought âHopeâ was a girl, but looking at the hot dude currently claiming to be your roommate, you might be wrong.
Sunkissed
â Iâll bring you the sun. (greek gods au)
Series
Lost & Found âŸÂ â
Status: CompletedÂ
â For centuries, people have lied and claimed that the red string of fate is unbreakable. Jimin knows the truth. Itâs right there in front of him, in the form of his severed red thread.
Oneshots
The one where Aera gets the hiccups (7 Secrets Drabbles)
New Yearâs Eve MischiefÂ
â Jimin is going to be the death of you.
Walk Away // Come Home âŸ
â "Youâre leaving.â âI have to.â âNo, you want to. This is your choice.â
Just You
â Jimin comforts you after a long and stressful day.
Youâre Really Gonna Wear That?
â You attempt to help Jimin set up for a v-live. Keyword: attempt.
The Girl Next Door
â Jimin canât keep his eyes off of the girl working the festival stall right next to him. Not that you want him to, of course.
How to Sell Sunshine âŸ
â âI could rip you apart, you know." "That's hardly romantic, Mr. Park."
Series
As Fate Would Have It
Status: under construction
â âThe last time I saw him was July 16, 1392. It was also the day I died.â
Guardian Angel Guidebook
pt. 1 | pt. 2
â "Kim Taehyung was the most beautiful mortal you'd ever laid eyes on. He was also the most frustrating."
Oneshots
Taehyung birthday oneshot
New Yearâs Eve Fireworks
â It appears that Taehyung forgot about your deathly fear of fireworks. Oops.
Lost in Japan
â Taehyung gets lost while shooting Bon Voyage in Japan with the members. Thankfully, he runs into you.
Canât Keep My Hands To Myself // Could you repeat the question? â
â When you lock eyes with your soulmate, youâre immediately teleported to them. So, technically itâs not your fault that you ended up in Kim Taehyungâs lap for all to see.
Falling, falling
â âI have loathed you since I first laid eyes on you.â âLikewise.â
Cipher
â kim taehyung is a man cursed to aimlessly wander the earth, gifted with supernatural powers that he can use to sense othersâ futures, while his own remains a mystery. heâs sentenced to this dismal life until he finds the one whose fate is intricately entwined with his own. heâs tall - dark - handsome. and heâs currently running a special on palm readings. (first one comes free!)
Series
*coming soon*
Oneshots
The one where Jungkook finds out (7 Secrets Drabbles)
New Yearâs Eve Proposal â
â What a way to start the new year.
Whispered Confession
â âI love you.â âDid you say something?â
Tough Luck â
â doctor!Jungkook, friends to lovers, heâs that annoying neighbor that sings in the shower
Ivy âŸ
â Youâve been promised to Jung Hoseok for twelve years. Youâve never wanted anything else. Until now. (JHS x reader, JJK x reader)
Ended As Quickly As It Started â
â an argument between you and Jungkook ends just as quickly as it beganÂ
If I Could Lie âŸÂ â
â âIâll feel much better if you let me walk you home.â (exes au)
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jimin dating best friend Hannah, ex bf tae
Tags: strangers to lovers! college!au
Genre: fluff, mutual pining, reader isnât interested in relationships at first
Words: 3.3k
Warnings: alcohol consumption, partying, language
Summary: Picking up your friend after a wild night out, the last thing you expected was to meet the only guy on campus, that was able to talk about more than just kegs and drinks.Â
A/N: guuuuuys this is officially the first chapter to my new Namjoon College!AU fic! Iâm not sure how many parts this is going to have but expect it to be similar-ish to once you realize!Â
this one is for my favorite bean @bangtan-madiâ
Hope you enjoy reading as much as I loved writing it xx
masterlist
You woke up blinking as the sunlight was beaming right into your room. Something about being woken up by hot rays of sunlight after a long night out didnât feel right and although you had been the one driving yesterday, you still almost felt a little hungover from the crappy air inside the club. Leaving your friends behind after they had made their way into different sleeping quarters with different men, you had felt like it was time to leave. All the power to them but you simply werenât the type.
Rolling around in your sheets you grabbed your phone, making sure you could read through all the âIâm good!â, texts only to find a text from your best friend from about ten minutes ago, asking if youâd be willing to pick her up. Letting out an annoyed grunt you pushed back the blanket, walking to the bathroom to get yourself dressed.
Something about being the only responsible one in your dorm of four made it difficult for you to fully enjoy the college experience. Youâve known those girls for a long time but especially your best friend seemed to be the absolute counter-part to you. Something about that wild child was next level.
Putting the phone on your ear, you headed out after getting on some sweats and a t-shirt, walking to your car. âHello?â, you heard your friend and hearing her voice messed up like that was only one of the reasons you felt like drinking was never a good idea. Bad decisions kids.
âYou sound like you still have a dick in your mouth.â, you mumbled laughing as you sat inside the car to head out.
âDude I feel like I have.â she chuckled and you could hear a dude mumbling before the sheets ruffled and she seemed to close a door behind her. âThanks for picking me up, [y/n]. I donât even have any cash anymore.â, she chuckled and you only sighed.
âYea, yea no worries. Nav says Iâll be there in fifteen so get your coochie wrapped up, right? See you in a bit, love.â Hanging up you made your way through empty Sunday morning traffic, parking outside a fraternity house not too far off campus. The house seemed surprisingly well kept and as you couldnât reach her on her phone, figuring it died, you made your way to the front door to ring and get her.
âMorning.â
The first thing you saw as the door opened was a bare chest right at your eye level. Slowly looking up, you could see the man attached to it was ruffling his messy, greyish-blonde hair, a soft, fresh out of bed look on his face. Raising an eyebrow, he opened his eyes he had been rubbing, only to slowly lower his hand at the sight of you. A sudden smirk appearing in the corner of his face.
âCan I help you?â he asked, his interest peeked all of a sudden.
âYes Iâd like to pick up my drunken friend out of one of the rooms, please.â you stated and with a nod he rubbed his bare chest a bit, scratching over the soft skin on his slightly toned stomach.
âAh, that  friend.â he chuckled and opened the door for you to come inside. Following in no further than the hallway, you waited for him to get your friend to come downstairs and as you looked around you could see that this was a clean frat-house. At least cleaner than what you had been used to so far.
âJIMINAAAAAH! HER FRIEND IS HERE TO PICK HER UP!â he screamed up the stairs in Korean so loudly, you twitched at the sheer volume of his voice. Â
âONE SECOND!â a voice yelled down in English and the boy, only dressed in briefs turned back to you with a smiling expression on his dimply face.
âCan I get you anything? Coffee?â he asked and with a polite but nervous smile you declined, thanking him for his hospitality. All you wanted to do is disappear with Hannah who was in for a treat for letting you wait in the hallway like a fucking uber driver.
âIâm Namjoon by the way, nice to meet you.â he smiled, extending a large, thin hand for you to shake. Grabbing it with a smile, you shook it gently, watching him a little suspicious because he seemed so polite.
â[y/n], nice to meet you.â Smiling you turned your head to the stairs as you could her tumbling down the stairs and there she was, standing there in last nightâs dress, shoes in her hand and a surprisingly fresh and happy look on her face. Coming down the steps after her was a shorter boy than the one who had opened the door for you, with plush lips and the way he pushed his hair back while walking made him look like he was straight out of a commercial.
âRight, thanks for being so nice.â you smiled as you guided Hannah out the door, making sure you could leave as soon as possible but as she smirked over her shoulder to the guy with the model face, you felt like this wasnât the last time you were going to see him around.
Getting in the car, Hannah took a deep breath and smiled bright, taking a second to relax before she put on the seatbelt, looking over to you with a beaming bright face. For some reason you got a little worried at her expression as you backed out of the driveway, waiting for her to start a speech.
âWhat happened to you?â you chuckled after a couple of moments of silence and she just smiled bright, shrugging while driving.
âCan we get a Starbucks?â she asked and you sank into your seat a little more.
âAre you really going to make me pick you up, wait like a dumbass and then ask me to drive you across town to the drive through?â You seemed annoyed and Hannahâs smile faded slightly, an expression of remorse covering her face.
âIâm sorry. Just wanted to ask. Sorry you had to wait, [y/n]. Really am.â
The honesty in her voice made you feel bad for snapping at her and at the next stop, you turned the car around towards the next Starbucks, smiling over to her.
âNow tell me about your night and donât spare me any details.â
Your suspicion was confirmed at the end of next week. Hannah had not stopped talking about a party that was going to take place and as you entered the door the first person you could see towering over all of the other attendees, was Namjoon. His hair was slightly pushed back and styled this time. He was wearing gold rimmed glasses that seemed to make him look even more polished, his neck covered by a black, tight turtle neck which, combined with his wool coat and black pants, made him look like the only thing he could study here, was art.
âDoesnât he look super cute?â, Hannah asked and you had to hold in for a second to realize that she obviously wasnât talking about the guy you were looking at. Following her look over to Jimin who was leaning against the doorframe, back facing the two of you, you chuckled. Hannah stayed by your side but she seemed nervous and shifty and as you turned to her you couldnât help but chuckle.
âGo on then, Iâll find the others.â, you smiled, being a good friend. With an excited smile she hugged you in tight, a thankful look on her face before she made her way across the room towards Jimin. For a moment you were worried that he didnât seem to enjoy her company the she enjoyed his, but as she said hi, you watched him wrap his arm around her tight, kissing her cheek soft.
With a smile, you walked across the room, scanning it for faces you had seen before. You had noticed Namjoon looking at you across the room a few times but although he seemed like a cute guy, you didnât pay him too much attention. Something about cute guys seemed to throw you off.
âAre my eyes deceiving me? Youâre at a party?â Taehyung wrapped his arm around you from behind and by the touch alone you couldâve told it was him immediately, no words needed.
âWhy are you surprised? We all know Iâm the only party queen that really matters?â, you chuckled and looked up to him. Sometimes you forgot how beautiful he was and it still hurt to see him when you didnât expect to see him. It felt weird still hanging onto a relationship that had broken up so long ago but Tae had been one of the people you had loved most in life so all you wanted was to see him happy. You were glad you managed to stay friends up until now.
âOh I seem to have hugged the wrong person, my bad.â, he joked, walking off a few steps and you laughed, grabbing the back of his shirt to pull him back again.
âHow are you doing, Taetae?â, you smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter as you both arrived in the open kitchen and with a smile you took the soda he was handing you.
âIâm doing good, love. Iâve started actually focusing on college, can you imagine? Studying and all. How about you? What have you been up to recently?â, he asked and now you were the one with a faked shocked expression on your face.
âStudying? Now Iâm not sure I hugged the right person?â, you mocked him and bumped him with your leg as you scooted up onto the counter to take a seat. âIâm doing well, busy with it all but I enjoy it and itâs going well.â, you smiled, taking a sip of your soda.
âHow about personal? Someone in sight?â, he asked and you only smiled at him and shrugged, a bit bummed out he even brought up the topic since he seemed to not have any issue with it.
âYea. Me neither.â, he chuckled and took a sip of his beer, leaning on the counter next to you and for a few moments it felt like nothing had changed the way the two of you were people watching for a while, talking about outfits and relationships between the people, guessing their relations.
âHannah is seeing a new guy I think. You know him?â, you asked and nodded over towards Jimin standing in a crowd of people, obviously liked by all of them.
âPark Jimin? Are you serious?â, he laughed and you rose an eyebrow asking, worried this may suggest that he was playing with her feelings to which you wouldâve had to put an end in that case.
âWhy, is he an idiot?â, you asked straight up and Tae started laughing.
âNo, heâs just not one to settle down so all of this is an unusual sight.â Namjoon suddenly towered next to the two of you, leaning against the kitchen counter and as you looked up, he smiled down with a warm comfort in his face. Â
Tae was about to lift his hand to introduce the two of you but Namjoon only smiled and interrupted him with a quiet tone. âOh we know each other.â, he smiled.
Taehyung looked from Namjoon to you and the long exchange of looks made him feel a little uncomfortable next to both of you. Turning your head away, back to the crowd, you felt your cheeks turn a little pink at the upfront way Namjoon was talking to you.
âThereâs nothing to worry about though. Jimin is not someone to play with feelings.â, Namjoon reassured you and all three of you started watching Hannah and Jimin with arms around each other, kissing sometimes, being close and touchy in front of everyone.
âGood or Iâll chop off things that matter.â, you simply stated dry and Namjoon started laughing. Taehyung excused himself as he was called from across the room, promising to step by a little later again and there you were, sitting on the kitchen counter next to Namjoon who was even taller than you although he was standing and you were sitting.
As you started getting into a proper conversation with Namjoon, you noticed that the two of you had a lot of similarities. Although you were both in the same literature class it was easy to not meet each other since the group of attending students was so massive. He talked about college for a little while and you noticed that not only did you almost have the same friend group, you also realized how many events you had been missing out on over the past couple of years.
Some of the stories you only had heard one sided from your friend and now, hearing Namjoon talk about it, you felt a little sad for being so socially unbothered with events. It seemed as if you really had been missing out on a few things.
Only as you saw Hannah walking over to you, putting her arms around your hips on the counter, seemingly more than drunk, you noticed how long the two of you had been standing in the kitchen talking. Worried your friend may be on her way to make a couple of mistakes she is going to regret tomorrow, you suggested leaving with her.
âCanât, going with Jimin.â, she mumbled, shooting a quick look at Namjoon who seemed to act like he wasnât listening. As she was about to elaborate on a couple of details you really didnât need, you covered her mouth with your hand, nodding.
âAaaah I donât wanna know the nasties youâre gonna do. Have fun, Iâll get home somehow.â, you chuckled at her and she got up, smiling bright before turning and heading off.
âDoes she always leave you standing like this?â, he asked and you turned your head to look up at him, smiling a bit excusing. Of course, Hannah was a very vibrant out there personality but who were you to keep her from having her fun? Why would you stop her or force her to stay just so you wouldnât have to leave alone?
âYea but itâs okay. I wonât hold her back just because Iâm not going home with anyone.â, you laughed and Namjoon smiled, nodding.
âMe, always.â, he laughed and emptied his beer, offering one to you. Â
âNo thanks, just a RedBull maybe.â, you smiled and he passed one over as he opened another beer bottle to drink from. He had taken off his coat by now and the way he was leaning against the island opposite you made you want to take a closer look at him.
Something about him felt very intriguing. Namjoon wasnât like a lot of the guys here. He seemed articulate, sensitive and understanding. Something about him screamed intelligence and without having any influence on your feelings what so ever, you felt amazed by him. The way he talked was what surprised you most. He didnât say a lot but when he did, his words were well thought out.
As you started getting tired, relatively late by your standards, you scooted off the counter, smiling up to him as he smiled over.
âRight I think Iâll head home.â, you smiled and put the RedBull can into the trash, seemingly the only person here who thought of doing so.
âAre you going to take an uber?â, he asked and you simply shook your head smiling.
âNo, Iâm going to walk itâs not that far off.â Namjoon put his empty beer bottle into the sink and grabbed his coat smiling.
âRight, letâs go then.â
With a confused look on your face you simply stared at him, not really understanding why he was getting ready to leave with you, not really sure what his plans were. Maybe you had been too friendly and gave him the wrong idea?
âDonât look at me like Iâm going to drag you behind a bush.â, he laughed. âIâm walking you home so someone else doesnât get the chance to do so. Just being nice, no intentions.â, he smiled and you felt a little stupid for being caught like that, thankful though for him offering to walk you.
âThatâs very nice of you, thank you.â, you simply smiled and all of a sudden you felt a little bit of heat rising up in your cheeks to your own surprise.
After chasing down Taehyung, you said your goodbyes and started walking down the street with Namjoon. It was a little chilly and the fresh air was exactly what you needed after being stuck in that stuffy house for such a long time.
Namjoon had both his hands buried in his coat pockets. He took long and slow, grand strides next to you and you had to chuckle because you had to take two steps in the same amount of time. His eyes darted over to you and he smiled with an asking expression on his face.
âI have a question.â, you blurted out without any filter, almost regretting that you even started it. âAre you always that... zen?â, you chuckle and Namjoon tilted his head back, letting out a loud, almost explosive laugh that you couldnât help but think of as very adorable.
âI guess one could say that, yes. Iâm a calm guy. I do get all wound up when Iâm with the right people under the right circumstances but, yes. Usually Iâm very âzenââ He put a little extra emphasis on the last word and chuckled, smiling down to you.
âWhat about you? Are you always so reserved? Or am I just annoying you.â, he laughed and you blushed at the blunt statement, feeling your cheeks getting warm again. The fact that this has been the second time tonight around the same guy, was strange concept for you. Although you didnât have an issue with men, after your last relationship you havenât really had any interested in them. So blushing at his comments was a very  unfamiliar feeling that surprised you. Â
âI think reserved is a nice way to describe it.â, you chuckled. âIâm not very a... talkative person. Iâm introverted and it takes a lot for me to come out of my shell. So no, youâre not annoying. Not at all.â With a smile you turned your head to face him and Namjoonâs lips cracked into a shy smile, his eyes adorably closed as he did.
âI think itâs nice to not constantly stir the pot like other people do. I enjoy being private and reserved. It makes it all the more special if you show yourself how you really are to a person you really trust, you know?â
Struck by his wise words, you looked at him for a moment before letting your thoughts wander around what he had just said. Something about that seemed so rooted and centered, that you felt foolish for not having the same level of depth in your thoughts. The statement was very open though so you wondered if this was him opening up to someone, deeming you as someone who was worth opening up to.
âWas a really nice thing to say.â, you smiled over and you could see a soft pink hue on his cheeks as he got embarrassed by your compliment. With a chuckle escaping his lips, he looked down to the pavement while walking and for a moment, neither of you said a word.
The silence wasnât pressing, in fact it felt very calming and being surrounded by the fresh air in combination with your thoughts hanging after the conversation the two of you just had, you started to really appreciate Namjoon for being exactly how he was. Â
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If youâve managed to read this far, Iâd be more than thankful if you could like and reblog my chapter if you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions for improvement or a drabble request - make sure to shoot me a message!âš
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no requests please! this is from the â100 types of kissesâ writing prompt
27- kisses exchanged while one person sits on the otherâs lap
namjoon was working late again tonight. you had been sitting in the living room of the dorm doing whatever you could to keep yourself busy and entertained and he had told you he would be out shortly. it felt like years since he had said that, you just wanted to spend some time with your boyfriend. you usually didnât bother him while he was working, you respected his creative working space and didnât want to distract him but you thought he could use a little break. you got up from the sofa you were on and walked towards his studio. luckily he had left it unlocked and so you opened the door quietly and peaked your head in. he was sitting in front of his computer, headphones on and a beat playing as you could faintly hear it from where you stood. you shook your head with a smile on your face before closing the door behind you and walking towards him.Â
you stood behind him for a second, just watching with wide eyes as he moved clips of sound around on the program he was using, sometimes stopping to write down lyrics on the notepad he had sitting next to his computer. you chuckled before placing your arms around his shoulders, resting your head on top of his beanie covered one and you felt him jump slightly in your grasp before he relaxed and reached to pull his headphones off, stopping the music from playing and finally turning around to look at you.Â
âheyâ he smiled at you, dimples exposed and you smiled back down at him.Â
âI missed you, so I figured I would come and check up on you. make sure you hadnât fallen asleep on me in here or anythingâ you giggled and joonâs cheeks were dusted over with a faint blush.Â
âI didnât forget about you I promise. this is just taking me a little longer than I thought it would.â he sighs and looks down a bit. he really didnât mean to keep you waiting for long, he just wanted to finish this song before going back to your apartment for the night. before he can overthink anymore, you plop yourself down in his lap, a shy smile on your face as you feel his arms immediately circle around your waist and hold you close to him.Â
âitâs okay joonie, I just wanted to come check on you thatâs all. I know you wanted to finish this and I didnât mind waiting for you.â you tell him with a genuine smile and he leans forward to press a kiss to your lips. the kiss is intimate and conveys everything he wants to say but canât seem to think of in the moment. when you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours and smiles, eyes closed.Â
âI donât know what I did to deserve someone as good as you.â he mumbles and you just smile, giving him more short sweet pecks against his lips.Â
âI could say the same about you, you know. but I shouldn't keep you from your work any longer.â you say with a sigh, fighting back a smile as you remove yourself from joonâs lap but he grabs your waist and pulls you back towards him. you fall into his lap again with a surprised expression on your face and he just smiles as he kisses your cheek, turning the both of you around until your facing his computer.Â
âstay here with me until I finish.â he says and you would be out of your mind to say no to him, so you sit so your facing his screen as well and he uses an arm to wrap around your waist while the other goes back to clicking on the screen again.
I guess I never realized how much I actually love you
Pairing: Namjoon x ReaderÂ
Word count: 1k.Â
Summary: âYou actually made him realize that he's worthy of love, and therefor he loves you more than he's ever loved anyone before.â Â
Genre: Fluff
Authorâs note: I got inspired by Namjoonâs blimp that said:âI wish I could love myselfâ x.Â
Namjoon blinks a couple of times before his eyes adjust to the bright light that's shining into the apartment. He turns around and can't help but smile as he sees you're still asleep. As soon as he has turned around you instantly snuggle close to his chest, making him blush a little. He presses a kiss against your cheek as he happily welcomes your cuddly side. You're always cuddly when you're asleep and Namjoon pretends to be annoyed by it while in reality you both know how much he loves it. He closes his eyes again as he decides to wait until you wake up. However, soon his tiredness takes over and he's falling asleep again. Not too long after that you wake up yourself.
 You turn around to see Namjoon's peacefully sleeping face and press a soft kiss against his lips before sliding out of the bed and making your way to the kitchen after putting one of his shirts on with your panties of course. You go through the cupboards to look for something to make for breakfast when your eyes land on a box of pancake mixture. You remember going out to eat breakfast with Namjoon once and he told you how much he loves to eat pancakes with syrup and fresh fruit in the morning. You smile happily as you grab the box and check if he has any fruit and syrup. Luckily for you he has so you grab two pans, one for the pancakes and one for the syrup before heating them up.
You quickly make the mixture as you quickly glance over at the bed, only to see that your boyfriend was still peacefully asleep. You put some of the mixture in the pan and let it bake while you turn to gather some of the fruit. He mainly has red fruit like; strawberries, berries and blueberries. You love all of them plus you think that Namjoon likes them too so you put some of that aside as you flip the pancake before pouring the cold syrup in the pan to heat it up. The pancakes are quite big so you settle for 3 per person. It takes about 20 minutes before all of them are ready and you start plating up. Right that moment you hear moment coming from the bed. As you look up from the plates you see your boyfriend looking at you with an adorable confused expression. You can't help but laugh at the look on his face as you gather the plates and carry them to the bed. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he sees the plates of pancakes. Immediately a bright smile covers his face as you place the plate in his lap. He presses a short kiss against your lips as he whispers,
"You didn't have to baby, but thank you."
"I wanted to make you breakfast to kind of thank you for last night."
You can't help but blush as you say that but Namjoon thinks it's cute. He gently caresses the side of your face as he gives you a sweet kiss. "You don't have to thank me for that baby. I enjoyed it as much as you did so technically I should be thanking you too."
You giggle at his words as you sit down next to him, your back resting against the headboard as you cut the pancakes. He does the same as he happily eats the food. Once he's done he leans over and presses another kiss against your lips. You giggle in response as you laugh,
"What's with you and kissing me today? You're never this affectionate!" "But you like it, right?" "Yes, I'm just a little surprised."
He nods at your words as he grabs your empty plate and brings it to the kitchen, along with his own. He places the plates in the dishwasher before he sits down on the edge of the bed.
"I get that, but you just make me want to do that for some reason. Is it okay if I do that more often?" "Of course it is."
You two smile brightly at each other before you get dressed. You agreed to go to the city for the day, since you both like walking around and admiring nice views and architecture. Plus, you really love shopping so it's a win-win situation. Approximately 10 minutes later you're sitting in the car, ready to go. Parking in the center of Seoul is quite expensive, but luckily Namjoon knows this parking garage where it's less expensive than others. Namjoon isn't too big on skin ship. Especially not in public. However, as soon as you're outside you feel him taking your hand in his, making your eyes grow wide. He's really been acting different after last night, which you think is a little odd.
 It wasn't the first time you were intimate but it definitely was the best and most passionate it had ever been. Maybe that made him change his behavior a bit? It's not that you don't like it, in fact it's quite the opposite. It's just that you hope he's doing it because he wants to and not because he knows that you like it. It isn't too busy luckily. Sure there's always a lot of people but it isn't busier than any other day. You decide to shake it off and just enjoy the feeling of him holding your hand. Little did you know that Namjoon is actually doing it because last night made him realize how much he actually loves you.
He already knew he loved you more than he has ever loved someone that he's dated but he was never scared to actually lose them. He always pushed them away to protect them from himself. He was scared that they'd become unhappy because of him. You actually made him realize that he's worthy of love, and therefor he loves you more than he's ever loved anyone before.
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jimin dating best friend Hannah, ex bf tae
Tags: strangers to lovers! college!au
Genre: fluff, mutual pining, reader isnât interested in relationships at first
Words: 2.5k
Warnings: none I thinkkk
Summary:Â The fact that your brain seemed to be occupied with a boy didnât really sit well with you and the bold flirting made your head spin. But for some strange reason - you really didnât mind.Â
A/N: sorry it took me so longsdsadkfh but hereâs the second chapter xx
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As you waited outside their frat house in your car, ready to pick up that friend of yours, again, you felt like a proper soccer mom, driving your kids around to playdates although Hannah was definitely playing a different sort of ball game.
A knock on your car window caused you to twitch and as you saw Namjoon staring at you with a bright smile on his face, you rolled down the window.Â
âIs this going to be a frequent weekend thing now?â he asked, handing over a proper cup of coffee, fresh and steaming. Holding his own cup, you looked out of the window to him with a smile on your face.Â
âThank you very much.â, you snickered, taking a sip and closing your eyes at the taste of the coffee. This wasnât any cheap ass college student version of a coffee. This one was roasted and delicious.Â
âThatâs some good ass coffee.â, you mumbled quietly, enjoying the fact that Namjoon obviously knew what he was doing and stepped out of the car eventually to chat with him outside on their lawn.Â
âRight? This is what I pull when I want to impress a girl.â, he joked, but the fact that Namjoon had offered you some coffee twice now, caused your stomach to feel a little tingly.
âWell Iâm sure you get them all if you brew coffee like that.â, you smiled, sitting down at the steps on the front porch next to him, waiting for Jimin and Hannah to finish up their snogging and snuggling inside. You really enjoyed the cup of coffee that warmed your hands. The slightly chilly morning made it feel even more perfect to sit outside on the porch and wearing your sweat shorts and university sweater, you definitely felt like the coffee cup only added to the college look.Â
âThanks for walking me home yesterday. I know Iâve said it before but it was the complete opposite direction of where you were going so I do appreciate it a lot.â, you smiled over at Namjoon and he shrugged it off smiling.Â
âNo worries at all. Anytime. And just for the record? Jimin has a car so technically you donât need to pick her up every time they bang. But Iâm going to be really disappointed if we lose those early morning coffee sessions together, not going to lie.â
He chuckled and took a sip of his cup, stretching out his legs down the steps and faced the sun with closed eyes, enjoying the outside. Something about his settle way of flirting made you feel all over the place, especially since none of it was over the top or intrusive. Namjoon flirted in a settle manner, honest and not trying to impress someone with grand gestures. Being someone who wasnât into flirting if you didnât know someone well, your bodies reaction seemed to confuse you a little.Â
âIn that case, you better not mention the car thing to Hannah so I can come by more often.â, you chuckled and Namjoon peeked over out of one of his eyes, a bright smile on his face.Â
âBetter not.â, he chuckled and you put both your hands around the coffee cup, taking another sip while enjoying the crisp morning air.Â
âI know Iâll miss you, too.â, you heard voices behind you in the hallway and Namjoon and you shared a knowing look, both of you trying hard not to laugh at the dramatic situation that had been building up between Jimin and Hannah over the past weeks. He really wasnât someone to date and now that the two of them seemed to be official, everything was very dramatic and full of emotions between them. If they fought, they fought hard, if they made love, Namjoon couldnât help but leave the house or listen to some music to get away from it. Now that Jimin was visiting his family in Korea for two weeks, you had no idea how you were going to survive this with Hannah constantly talking about him at the dorm already.Â
âIf you ever need out, you can call.â, Namjoon whispered and you had to chuckle.Â
âI donât even have your number, I could always ring though.â, you smiled and Namjoon held out his hand with a smile on his face, holding his phone over to you.Â
âWell, looks like weâre going to have to change that.âÂ
It had been a while since somebody had asked you for your number and usually, you were never too keen on giving it away. Something about Namjoon asking made you feel emotions you hadnât felt in a long time. The excitement of it all made you feel a little skittish and with a shy smile on your face, you typed it in along with your full name for him to safe.Â
âOhohooooo whatâs going on here?â Jimin had knelt down between the two of you, his face uncomfortably close between both of your faces and the sudden loud sound made you jump.Â
âWhy do you have to be like that, Park?â, Namjoon stated calmly, looking up to him and Jimin shrugged with a smug little smirk on his face, giving Hannah a last kiss goodbye.
Sipping that last sip of coffee you handed Namjoon the cup, smiling at him and with closed eyes and a scrunched up nose, he smiled a wide smile that made your stomach twist and tingle. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you got up to walk down the steps to catch up with Hannah who had rushed to the car.
âI meant it!â, he yelled after you, sitting up on the porch. âCall if you want out.â You watched Jimin sit down next to him and mumble something and Namjoon didnât even blink once, his eyes locked with yours. Another shy smile, you shook your head chuckling and disappeared into the car, driving off while Hannah was nagging you about what had just happened all the way back.Â
The following Saturday and Sunday came, without a text from Namjoon. You hadnât really expected him to text but as he actually didnât, you found yourself in the position of being a little sad about it. Something very uncommon for you since you happened to be the kind of girl that put being happy alone before feeling completed by someone else first. The fact that your brain seemed to be revolving around whether or not this guy was going to text you, caught you a little off guard.Â
You saw him in class once, sitting all the way across the lecture hall and although you had debated on sitting next to him a couple of times, it had never entirely felt right for some reason â so the confusion was big as you and a couple of friends walked into a coffee shop off campus after your last exam to celebrate, before all of you were forced to prep everything for the next semester, when all of a sudden Namjoon popped up behind the counter, towering up behind the big coffee machine.Â
Furrowing your brows in amusement you watched him, waiting for him to recognize you and as his head shot up to look through the crowd and his eyes met yours, his focused features softened and a slight smirk crossed his lips, putting his beautiful dimples on full display.
Mouthing a shy âHey.â, you nodded and Namjoon waved, mouthing it back to you before turning his attention back down to his coffee machine and the foamed milk in his hand.Â
All of a sudden you felt way more excited about coffee than you usually would and as you and your friends came up to the register, Namjoon slid in fast between his co-worker in order to be able to take your orders.Â
âWhat can I get for you guys?â, he asked with a sheepish grin, tapping his long finger on the screen, ready to take your orders. All of a sudden you didnât even remember that you came with people.
âWell what is it you would recommend?â, you asked and looked at him with raised eyebrows. You had to chuckle at his expression as he ran his fingers through his hair, seemingly a little nervous.
âI can recommend the whipped crepes cake with strawberries, itâs really delicious. Oreo roll is also very good but if I could recommend anything, Iâd say Iâll pick you up at seven and show you that new restaurant that opened in Gangnam if youâre available.âÂ
The words didnât even make their way into your ears properly. All you could hear was a slight ringing while you watched him and the sudden fear of heading into something way too fast was striking you like a slap in the face. Trying not to lose your cool you nodded.
âIâll take the strawberry crepes cake then.â, you smirked and Namjoonâs eyes flickered between yours, trying to read your expression, worried this may have been a no. âText me.â, you said smiling and stepped aside to make way for your friends who had more than confused expressions on their faces.Â
âI will.â, Namjoon nodded and smiled at you while taking the other orders and as you walked off a couple of steps to sit down at a table, one of your friends sat down next to you with big eyes.Â
âWhat was that about?â, her voice was so excited she had to cover her mouth with one hand in order to not burst out with an excited little scream. âDo you know Namjoon?â, she asked and you looked at her confused.Â
âDo you?â, you replied and watched her chuckle, turning her head over to watch his long hands slide over the coffee machine which made you assume he had been doing this for a long time.Â
âEverybody does. Namjoon is like... the perfect boyfriend. Heâs illiterate, caring, absolutely beautiful... obviously. How come you know him? Why did he ask you out?â
The tone of her voice didnât really resonate with you and with a straight expression you looked at her. âWhat do you mean? Why would you say it like that?âÂ
She immediately put her hands up in defense and you knew you were right about your gist. âI mean Iâm just saying.. Youâre not the outgoing type. Youâre not.. suuuuper girly you know what I mean? Iâm not saying youâre not attractive Iâm just saying I thought heâd go more for... the super mean IT-girl.â, she rambled and you nodded, wondering if those people sitting down at your table, talking about what had just happened were really your friends.Â
Feeling your phone ring in your hand, you looked down.Â
Unknown Number [1:57 pm]: You look a little stressed. Sorry for being bold in front of your friends
You [1:57 pm]: Itâs okay, no worries at all (:
You saved his contact and smiled as you put a little coffee cup emoji behind his name.Â
Namjoonâïž [1:59 pm]: So? What do you say? Iâll pick you up for dinner?
Looking up from your phone you watched him work for a little while and bit your lip thinking about the offer. There was no harm in going out for dinner with him, if anything it would give you a chance to get to know him but something about the way he had rushed his way into your brain made you hesitate.Â
You [2:01 pm]: What are options besides dinner?Â
Feeling a little shy and as soon as you sent off the text you played with your phone nervously while watching him work behind the counter. It took him a while before he picked up his phone again and as he read the message, he looked over to you and smiled shrugging. âWhatever you want.â he mouthed and with a smile you had to look down, heat rushing into your cheeks.Â
You let the words echo through your head. Whatever you want.
You [2:14 pm]: Letâs go for a walk later. Tell me when youâre off
Namjoonâïž [2:15 pm]: Iâll be off at six latest. A walk sounds lovely đ
âLooking forward to it. Should we meet up somewhere? Or want to walk together?â His smile was genuine, his eyes open and focused on you entirely. It made you feel very special and maybe that was the dangerous part, the fact that Namjoon made you feel so special when he was around.Â
âWhat would you prefer? Iâm ok with either.â, you say a little shy now, nothing from the little cocky replies from earlier seemed to be left now that the nerves had kicked in.Â
âIf youâre ok with it Iâd say weâll meet up at the library and walk from there?â He smiled and handed over a little paper bag for you. As you took it, you peaked inside to find a cinnamon muffin inside of it.Â
With a smile you closed the bag and looked over to him.
âAlmost as good as dinner.â, he winked before wiping his hands on his apron and headed back to turn around and get to the pile of order papers that were out on the counter, waiting for him to prepare them.Â
At seven, you waited in front of the library. You had put some effort into your outfit and hair, not too much to not make it look desperate but you had thought about how effortlessly good Namjoon had looked in that turtle neck and coat.
âHey, [y/n].â, he smiled, walking up to you and you looked up at him with a bright smile. Namjoon was wearing a thick cardigan, a white shirt under it and some rolled up beige dress pants that seemed to be a little too big, making him look like he was fresh out of bed and absolutely preppy at the same time.Â
He tended to do that. Looking cozy and put together all at once.Â
âHey, you.â, you smiled up and Namjoon held over his hand with a shy smile, opening it up. Inside was a single purple flower and once you saw it your cheeks turned bright red immediately. This had to be the cutest thing anyone has ever done for you.Â
âFigured an entire bouquet wouldâve been a little too much.â, he smiled confidently and pointed at the flower. âMay I?â, he asked and hesitantly took a step towards you. Namjoon looped the stem of the flower through the unbutton top slit of your coat, making it look like brooch on your coat.Â
âThank you very much. Itâs really pretty.â, you smiled, looking down at it and back to Namjoon who had pushed both his hands in his pockets now.
âShall we?â, he asked and with a nod and a tingly feeling in your stomach, you turned to follow him as he turned towards the direction of town.Â
If youâve managed to read this far, Iâd be more than thankful if you could like and reblog my chapter if you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions for improvement or a drabble request - make sure to shoot me a message!âš