ellie⁷

During her first month with the Straw Hats, she was outgoing, friendly with everyone on the crew, forming relationships and carving out her space in the Straw Hat family. 

During her second month, her mask faltered. 

During her third month, her mask completely failed. Waking up one morning in her private cabin, her hands absentmindedly reach for one of her throw pillows, bringing it into her chest and burying her face in it. Her mind is blank, eyes staring, heart aching. She feels numb as the ship gently rocks her. 

She wakes up like this every day for almost a week before anyone notices. She goes through the motions of her days on the ship, watching the crew all laugh with each other, enjoying each other’s company. She watches them all love each other. They invite her to join, eagerly trying to pull her into the group but she turns them all down. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve their pity invites. 

After walking away from the crew after Luffy and Usopp both begged her to join, she finds herself back in her cabin. 

Sanji returns to the group, a bowl of snacks in his hand as he looks around. “Where’d she go?” 

“She doesn’t want to hang out today.” Usopp shrugged, quickly looking away from Sanji again to engage with Luffy. 

Sanji sets the bowl down and heads back below deck to look for her. He knocks on her door once, and opens it upon hearing a quiet grumble. He takes in the pillow her body is tightly wrapped around, grip on it tight enough to quench the desire to be hugged. Her legs are crossed, an open book brushing against her calves as she stares at it. 

“Hey, my love, are you okay?” She slowly looks up and nods. Sanji frowns before slowly moving across the room. He takes in the slight tremor of her body before sitting next to her on the bed. “Everyone’s playing games on deck. Do you want to come join?” She shakes her head, looking away from him and back down to the book. 

Sanji gives her a sad smile and reaches over to squeeze her calf. She tenses at the contact and Sanji’s heart aches. He hesitantly pulls his hand away. “I’m here if you need me, okay?” She nods, keeping her eyes glued to the book. 

He glances down to the book and back up to her. Slowly getting up, he sighs before leaving the room. He gives her one last worry filled look before pulling the door shut behind him. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

Sanji doesn’t push. He doesn’t ask nagging questions. He doesn’t invade her space when she wants to be alone. But he drops off snacks and smoothies in her room. He leaves a stool open in the galley at all times. He’s always there when she needs someone. And he urges the crew to do the same. They all work to include it in their daily routines. 

Robin brings her history books into her room and they silently read together, sharing thoughts on their books when they read something exciting. 

Franky invites her to his workshop and she reads in a comfy corner of the room that he made up just for her. 

Usopp takes over part of her floor to work on his new weapons, telling her adventure stories when she wants to hear them. 

Zoro invites her to train with him and they often duel on deck. 

She's currently sitting with Luffy on the masthead, pointing out to him all the islands on the horizon that she knows about from navigating with Nami. One of his arms is tightly around her waist, holding her securely to the masthead. 

“Sanji was right, you are fun to hang out with!” Luffy says it like it's nothing, leaning forward a little and bringing her with him to watch the fish swim under the ship. “I bet we can see those from the aquarium, let's go!” 

Luffy loosens his grip but is still holding her as he slides off the masthead, bringing her down to deck with him. 

He tries pulling her away but her feet are firmly planted. “C'mon! We'll miss the-” 

Her voice is quiet, eyes glued to the ground. “Sanji said what?” 

Luffy comes back, hands landing on her shoulders as he bends down to meet her eyes. “Sanji said you’re fun to hang out with! He told everyone to hang out with you more! He said you were sad, is that true?” 

Tears start to line the bottom of her eyes as she shakes her head and pushes Luffy off. He calls out her name as she briskly walks below deck. Why would Sanji do that? 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

Sanji's eyes jump to the door as it slams open. She comes into the galley, tears streaming down her face, stopping halfway to the counter. “Why did you tell them all to do that? I'm fine, Sanji. You don't need to fix me.” The unprecedented volume of her voice startles him and he carefully sets down the knife and food he was working with. 

Her eyes stay on him, willing him to respond. His voice is quiet, soft, like he's a bit scared of her anger and is very worried about the tears. “I'm not trying to fix you, I just want to make sure you know you're loved.” 

A sob catches in her throat, voice now shaking as it lowers. “I don't- you don't have to do that. I don't deserve all of that. Put the effort into someone who deserves it.” 

Sanji feels his heart break as it falls to the pit of his stomach. His voice quiets even more as he reaches across the counter towards her. “My love, you deserve everything good the world has to offer. You deserve so much love, more love than this crew could possibly give you. Please let us give it to you.” His voice cracks as he speaks, pleading with her to accept his love. 

She just shakes her head before running out of the galley. The tears start falling down Sanji's cheeks as he watches her leave the room. He looks back to the lunch prep, staring at it for a moment before turning to the fridge. He pulls out one of the premade smoothies, the perfect blend of all her favorite fruits. 

The lunch prep is neglected as he follows her path out of the galley. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

Sanji knocks on her door. After no response, he slowly opens it, peeking in to see her sitting cross legged on her bed, arms wrapped tightly around her throw pillow. Only the top half of her face is visible behind the pillow and Sanji's heart aches at the blank stare on her face. 

Her name comes out as a strained whisper, almost a question as Sanji slowly walks in, closing the door behind him and setting the smoothie on her desk. 

She hasn't moved since he walked in. Sanji's worry grows as her gaze doesn't even shift when he sits on the bed in front of her. 

“My love? Let me help, what do you need?” She finally acknowledges his presence with a rapid shaking of her head that doesn't stop until Sanji's hands land on her shoulders. 

She finally looks up at him with fear filled eyes, words coming out strained and almost too fast for Sanji to hear. “I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong. I don't know how to fix this. It's just my head is stuck and it's moving too fast. I'm just spinning in circles and I don't know how to stop-” 

Sanji's hands gently come up to her face, cupping her jaw and pausing her words. Her expression softens, fear fading into sadness as her eyes meet his. “Can I give you a hug?” His voice is barely a whisper, scared to overstep boundaries. 

She nods, grip loosening on the pillow in her lap as it falls between them. One of his hands moves to cup the back of her neck as he moves the pillow to the side. Wrapping an arm around her lower back, he pulls her in against his chest. He slowly rubs soft circles on her back as her forehead comes to rest on his shoulder. 

She fiddles with her hands between their bodies. “I don't know what's wrong. My heart just hurts and it's messing with my mind.” Sanji's heart aches at her admittance, wanting nothing more than to remove all the pain she's ever felt. His lips press to the side of her head before he settles his cheek against her. 

The two sit in silence for a while, Sanji continuing to rub slow circles on her back. 

She eventually wraps her arms around him and he quickly readjusts with a tighter grip on her. 

Her breathing steadies, and she's still for so long that Sanji's convinced she fell asleep. He rubs slow circles with his thumb along her side until he hears her voice again. “I think I'm really lonely.” His thumb freezes, his grip struggling to not tighten too much. “I just wish I had my person, ya know? Like how Franky and Robin have each other. Or Luffy and Zoro. I want my person.” Her nerves start to spike as he doesn't respond, hands still on her body. “I'm sorry. That probably sounds stupid. I know it doesn't make sense to be lonely on a ship full of people. I just-” wish if I wasn't meant to be loved, I wouldn't desire it so strongly. 

Her sentence drops off as Sanji pulls back. His hands move up to gently hold the sides of her neck as their eyes meet. “You are my person, love. How did you not notice?” 

Confusion tugs at the features on her face, remnants of sadness lingering in her eyes. “What do you mean? You've never said anything.” 

His voice strains, struggling against the pain in her voice. “I didn't think I had to. I'm sorry, I should've said something. I thought the- it doesn't matter. I should've realized you needed the-” 

Sanji's sentence drops off as she pulls him back into a hug. “Thank you, Sanji.” He doesn't respond as he hugs her back. 

He hears her quiet sniffles and presses a soft kiss to her temple before she pulls away. “Sanji?” 

“Yes, my love?” His hands fall into his lap as he watches her wipe away her tears. 

“Can we go get a snack or something? I'm kinda hungry.” 

He gives her a soft smile before reaching over to grab her smoothie. “I already brought a smoothie for you.” 

Their hands touch as she takes the smoothie from him. “When did you-” 

“I always keep a couple pre-made in the fridge.” She frowns down at the smoothie in her hand before taking a drink of it. His expression softens as her face lights up slightly at the taste. “Do you want to be alone again?” 

Her eyes move up to meet his as she shakes her head and takes another drink. “Can you stay here, please?” 

“Of course, my love.” He gives her a sweet smile while settling in against the wall. She reaches for a card game on her desk and sits across from him. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

A few days later, Sanji’s making dinner when she walks in. He looks up to see her silently walk over to the island and sit on a stool. Her current read plops onto the counter as she finally looks up at him. “Is it okay if I read in here? I don't wanna be alone in my room right now.” 

He sets down the spatula and turns to fully face her with a smile. “Of course it's okay! Can I make you a snack?” 

“I'll be okay until dinner. But do we have any juice?” Her voice is quiet, guilt creeping in at the dinner now being ignored. “Actually, I can check. You're busy with-” 

“I got it, my love.” His smile softens as he raises a hand to gesture for her to stay sitting. He turns and checks in the fridge. “Orange or pineapple?” 

“Pineapple, please.” He turns around after a minute with a glass of pineapple juice that he places near her. 

“Let me know if I can get you anything else.” 

A small smile creeps onto her face. “Thank you, Sanji.” 

The two fall into silence, her peacefully reading while he makes dinner. 

Sanji's wrapping up and preparing to plate when she loudly gasps. He looks over to see her wide eyes glued to the page as her grip on the book tightens. He smiles before looking back down. “What's happening in your book?” 

She flips back a page and rereads before responding. “He let her get taken again, like almost right out of his arms.” She looks up at Sanji, brows raised. “The other guy is gonna be piiiissed.” 

He chuckles, reaching to grab a small plate. “They'll get her back though, right?” 

“They'll have to. It can't end with her gone again. And Sanji, it's the same people who took her the first time.” 

Sanji's eyes widen in her direction as he finishes the small plate. “The same people? And he just let it happen?” She aggressively nods before looking down at the plate he's sliding over. “Can you try this? I haven't made this recipe before.” The nerves are clear in his voice as he leans on the counter and drops his chin into his palm. 

“He just let it happen. No fight. The chapter just ended and she's gone. And the worst part, she knew right away whose hand was around her mouth.” Sanji's jaw drops in shock as she takes a bite. “This is delicious as always.” She smiles at him before reaching for a second bite. 

“I'd hate to end the reading time but dinner is ready. You'll have to let me know if they get her back.” His smile slowly grows as he plates for the crew. 

“We could just read it together after dinner.” The words come out of her mouth so confidently that she shocks herself, eyes widening as she slowly looks up to him. 

“I'd love that.” They share soft smiles before she bookmarks her page and he yells to the rest of the crew that dinner is ready. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

For the next few weeks, the duo spends much of their free time together. It takes them only a few days to finish their book, and they end up reading two more. She eventually starts feeling better and engages with the crew in her usual outgoing manner. 

One day, she finds herself alone in her room, throw pillow nearby on the bed as she tries to will herself not to grab it. She lets out a raggedly sigh before getting off the bed. She pulls on a hoodie Sanji had left in her room and drags herself out from below deck. 

Sanji's head snaps up as she steps on to deck. He smiles up at her until he spots her face. His heart skips a beat seeing her in his sweatshirt but he doesn't let himself think about that. His smile starts to fade at the sadness lining her features and her prominent frown. 

He nods to invite her over to sit with him but she shakes her head. He pushes himself off his chair and starts to move towards her. 

“Hey Sanji, where are you going?” “Hey waiter, grab me another bottle of sake.” “The two of you should join! Sanji is in need of a partner for the next game!” 

Sanji ignores the comments and takes her hand, leading her back below deck. Usopp whistles after them and they both hear Nami slap him. 

“Do you wanna go down to the aquarium? I got a new book-” Sanji loses his train of thought as she pulls him into a tight hug. 

“I'm sorry for making you leave everyone else.” Her voice is so quiet he barely hears it. 

“It's okay, my love. Usopp and Luffy were getting a little annoying.” He relaxes at the giggle that escapes her. “I found a book on the last island I think you'll like.” 

“To the aquarium?” She pulls back and looks up to him, a small smile trying to tug at her lips. 

“To the aquarium.” Her smile grows as he returns it. 

She takes his hand back and leads him deeper into the ship, only stopping when he tugs. Turning to face him, she spots the door to the men's cabin next to him. “I have to grab the book.” She smiles and lets him lead her in. She instantly knows which bed is his, being the only one in the whole room that’s made. She bites back a giggle at the small teddy bear dressed like a chef on his pillow. 

Sanji catches the giggle as he turns back with the book in hand. “Why are you giggly, my love?” 

She shakes off the giggles and lets a soft smile contrast his furrowed brows. “I really like your chef bear. He’s cute.” 

His expression softens, confusion fading as he looks back at the teddy bear. “He reminds me of home. Of the Baratie and Zeff.” Her eyes stay on his face, heart swelling at the fondness showing on it. 

“We could stay here and read? If no one else comes back down…” Her words trail off as she considers that it might be a bad idea since six other people live in this room. 

Sanji turns back to face her, smile tugging at his lips as he bites his cheek. “We can stay here if you would like.” She nods. 

He slides his shoes off and gets on the bed, careful to not unmake it too severely. He lays an arm out, giving her the opening she needs to crawl onto the bed next to him. She takes it, laying her head on his shoulder and curling into his side. She reaches for the teddy bear and he gladly hands it over, adoration tugging at his heart as she hugs it. 

He’s quiet for a minute, not moving as he takes in her warmth against his body and the careful hold she has on the bear. 

“Sanji?” Her voice snaps him out of his haze. 

His arm finally comes across her back, hand landing on her side as he starts to subconsciously rub slow circles with his thumb. “Yes, my love?” 

She looks up to him with a smile. “What book did you get?” He says the title as he reaches over to grab it off the table. He finds a comfortable place to hold it open on his stomach so they both can see it. “It’s my turn to read, right?” She only glances up to Sanji briefly before turning back to the book and starting. His eyes aren’t following along, glued to her as he listens to her voice. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

A few days later, Sanji’s alone in the galley finishing up meal prep for the week before he starts dinner. His head snaps up as she walks into the galley. “Hi, my love.” His soft smile causes her to deter away from her stool and move over by him. 

“Hi Sanji. Whatcha making?” She peers into a pot on the stove, frowning when she sees it empty. 

“I just finished meal prep for the week. Hopefully I’ll have more time in the mornings since making lunch will be quicker.” 

“Oh.” She turns to lean against the counter beside him. 

“Oh?” He backs away to let the confusion in his eyes meet the disappointment in hers. “My love? Is everything okay?” 

She sighs and looks towards the ground. “I wanted a snack” 

He smiles and moves towards the fridge. “I can make you a snack.” 

“You don’t have to if you’re done with-” She freezes as Sanji’s hand comes to rest on her cheek. 

“My love, I am never forced to do anything for you.” A soft smile creeps onto her lips as Sanji gently nudges her over to her usual stool. 

After a few minutes, he slides a snack over to her and starts with dinner prep. Her eyes are glued to his hands while she eats, mesmerized by how effortlessly he can do even the dangerous parts with no hesitation. 

“Sanji?” He looks up from the pan he’s started placing food into, humming in response. “Can I help with dinner?” 

His face lights up. “Of course you can, my love.” 

She smiles, pushing herself off the stool before bringing her dishes over to the sink. Sanji watches her quickly wash them before washing her hands. One of his hands drops away from the food as she walks over. “Where do you want me, chef?” He chuckles as his arm drapes across her shoulders and he pulls her into his side. He carefully explains the plan, calmly elaborating on any parts she’s confused about. 

He presses his lips to her temple as he hands her the spatula. She smiles as she starts to stir the food on the stove, sweetly looking up to the smile on Sanji’s face as he begins working on something else. 

She struggles a bit throughout the process but he’s patient and supportive through every step. He messes up more than her, struggling throughout to keep his eyes off of her. 

Once the plates are ready for the crew, she grabs his hand before he can go let everyone else know. “Thank you, Sanji.” His brows furrow as he turns back to her. “For letting me help.” 

“Of course, my love. Anytime.” 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

It’s the middle of the night when Sanji jumps awake at the shaking of his shoulder. He looks up and meets her sad and scared eyes. He quickly sits up, reaching out to grab her hand. “My love, what happened?” 

“Can you come sleep with me? I don’t want to be alone.” She pulls the blanket wrapped around her closed as she hugs her pillow a little tighter. 

“Of course.” He keeps a hand on her arm as he gets up. 

“Sanji?” His eyes jump over to hers, pausing his movements at the insecurity behind his name. “Can you bring the little chef?” His lips curl into a soft smile as he reaches over to grab the teddy bear. 

She takes the bear from him and steps back to let him get out of bed and grab his own blanket. She readjusts to hold her pillow, blanket and his bear with one arm as he reaches out his hand. He intertwines their fingers before guiding her quietly out of the men's cabin. 

Upon getting to her cabin, they become lit in the soft light of her lamp, letting Sanji finally see the tear stains on her cheeks. 

“Oh my love, why didn't you come sooner?” He gently cups her cheeks, thumbs swiping at the already dried tears. 

Her voice is quiet as she responds. “Can we go to sleep?” He nods before stepping away to let her climb onto the bed first. He follows and pulls the comforter over both of them despite each being wrapped in their own throw blankets. Their heads share a pillow as they face each other. “Thank you, Sanji.” 

“Of course, my love.” They share soft smiles before drifting off to sleep. 

-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-

The next morning, Sanji wakes up in an empty bed. He sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes before folding his own blanket over hers. He forces himself out of bed before leaving the room to go find her. 

She's sitting in her usual spot in the galley when he comes in, sleep still present in his movements. “Good morning, Sanji!” She gives him a big smile before turning to look at the plates on the counter. 

The sleep leaves his body as he takes in the already made breakfast. “My love, did you-” 

“I made breakfast so you could sleep in!” His heart swells as she beams with pride. “It's not as fancy as what you normally make but hopefully everyone likes it!” 

He walks over to sit next to her as Luffy and Usopp run in. Her and Sanji's names quickly follow good mornings as Luffy and Usopp both start chowing down on breakfast, very clearly enjoying it. 

“My love?” She smiles up at him as he pulls two plates closer. She hums in response before taking a bite. “Can I move in with you? Then you wouldn't have to-” 

“Yeah, if Luffy's okay with it!” Luffy turns toward them, bite half chewed as his brows raise. “Can Sanji move into my room?” 

Luffy swallows some of his bite before responding. “Would it make you less sad?” She nods with a small smile on her face. “Then of course! Go do it now!” 

She turns towards Sanji, who’s already looking at her. “We can do it after breakfast.” She nods in response, smile growing and softening as her eyes meet his.