#jongup scenario

After walking for about 5 minutes in silence, with Jongup still holding your hand, you decided enough was enough. "Jongup." He turned his head to glance at you with another one of his brilliant smiles. "Wait until you see the lake. It's so clear and the sunlight makes the water sparkle." You attempted to pull your hand free, only to have him tighten his hold. "It'll feel great after the hike too. But you don't have to swim if you don't want to." he continued. "Jongup." you repeated without bothering to hide the irritation in your voice. "We usually stay for most of the day, but we don't have to if you don't want to do that either." Planting your feet, you forcefully yanked your hand away from him. He stopped and blinked at you in surprise. "We need to talk." You crossed your arms over your chest, wanting to shield you from how much this was going to hurt. "You can't keep doing this." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Doing what?" "You can't keep..." A blush crept up on your face. Saying the words out loud now sounded mortifying. Swallowing thickly, you said, "Holding my hand, and last night when.." "Don't." he interrupted. He grabbed the straps of his backpack and squeezed them as he turned away from you. "Let's just.." "No. You can't... My feelings for you.." "Stop!" You jumped in surprise and stared at him. The last thing you expected him to do was yell at you. "Just stop already." he demanded. "I don't want to hear about your feelings when all you've done is... is..." He let out an frustrated growl before stomping off away from you and up the trail. You watched him go in confusion. What was he talking about? What had you done? He was the one manipulating you by using your feelings for him. You were the one that should be angry, not him. Tears started to well up in your eyes but you rapidly blinked them away. Instead of following after him, you turned and headed back to camp. The few people who had stayed behind eyed you curiously. They didn't say anything though, your mood evidently showing on your face, and you ignored them as you went in to your tent.

You awoke to someone whispering your name and opened your eyes. It was still fairly dark but light enough that you could see Jongup peering in to your tent. You had avoided him the rest of the day, barely even looked at him and made sure you sat away from him at dinner. Seeing him now brought back the anger you felt for him. "What?" you demanded. If your tone bothered him at all, he didn't show it. "I really want to show you something, please. It's not far, I promise. Please." The expression on his face cooled your anger, but traipsing around with him was something you still didn't want to do. "Jongup, I.." "Please." he begged, his voice dripping with desperation. "I just... I really, really want you to come with me. Please." You laid there for a few seconds before letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Just give me a minute." He nodded and zipped the tent flap closed. Sitting up, you started fumbling around for your shoes. Once they were on your feet, you messed with your hair to get it presentable. Then you remembered you were mad at him and weren't trying to impress him. When you emerged from your tent, everything was a light grey and you realized the sunrise was soon. You turned to Jongup who offered you a tiny smile. "Thanks." he said. He stuffed his hands in to the pockets of his jeans and indicated for you to follow him. Instead of heading to the main trail, he lead you in to the trees. A couple of minutes later, the trees thinned and you came up cliff edge. "I told you there was a good spot to watch the sunrise." He moved over to a large boulder and sat on the ground so he could lean back against it. You hesitated for a few seconds and then joined him on the ground. He leaned slightly to the side, putting more distance between the two of you. Your heart dropped in to your stomach. Screw being mad at him. He was your friend and you didn't want to lose that. You opened your mouth to apologize, but he started talking first as he stared out at the horizon. "I've really wanted you to come here, so when you finally said yes, I was so excited. Too excited, I guess. I just thought that maybe you... That you... Well, I'm sorry. I never should have..." He shifted and nervously cleared his throat. Then quietly he added, "I shouldn't have read more in to you coming here than I did. It didn't mean what I thought it did." You gaped at him in confusion for a bit before shaking your head. "Wait, what??" He winced and squeezed his eyes shut. "Can we just forget about his whole weekend please?" "Are you saying you weren't manipulating my feelings?" His head whipped to the side. "What? Manip..." His face fell and this time he was gaping at you. "Your what?" Your heart beat frantically in your chest. This wasn't happening, was it? "You kept pulling away from me though. And every time I've asked here to come here, you said no." he continued. You scoffed. "I hate camping." "But it would be with me." This made you gape at him again. "Wait... Are you..." You turned away from him so you didn't have to meet his eyes when you stated, "You thought if I said yes to something I hate, just to spend time with you, that meant I had feelings for you." There was a few moments of silence and then Jongup whispered, "Yeah." Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. "I figured it was one-sided." "So this whole time you...?" You turned your head to look at him and nodded. "Yeah. And you?" His nodded his head as well. "Yeah." The two of you stared at each other. A small smile formed on Jongup's face and you found yourself blushing as you smiled as well. Then the whole area brightened and you turned to watch the sunrise. You felt his hand slide into yours and instead of pulling away, you squeezed his hand in return.

When you both returned to the campsite, you were surprised to see most of the group awake and sitting around. Then you blushed in embarrassment as every single one of them looked at your hand and Jongup's hand still interlocked. "Well it's about damn time." "Who had this Sunday morning in the betting pool?" Your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened. You glanced at Jongup to see him just as surprised and confused. "W-wait, y-you guys..." he stammered. The group immediately burst out laughing. "It was so obvious it was painful." one guy yelled out, bringing about another round of laughter. Blushing even harder, you closed your eyes and suppressed a groan. When you heard a chuckle close by though, you opened your eyes to see Jongup smiling at you. You smiled back, ignoring a couple of wolf-whistles.

<--Part 2

Thing is, you felt like you were obligated to not need anybody's comfort. You'd lived for so long without it that you felt it was only logical to go on that way. It was stupid, really, the way most humans were made to long for attention even when they could live without it just fine. You fell into that little tiny part of society that longed for something they had restrained themselves away from. That was your everyday.

But the warm feeling that spreads across your cheeks when you're walking through the hallway right behind him or the thumping of your heart when he was near, your mind telling you not to look despite knowing you wouldn't listen anyways - it was all there. The only signs that were required for you to realize.

It was scary, developing feelings for somebody. Especially when it was your first time doing so, and when that somebody was as far away from you as Pluto was from the Sun. Light years away, light years ahead. Ethereal and unreachable and just an object to admire.

Sadly, admiring him from afar was a bit more challenging than first anticipated. What did you expect from somebody with zero high school sweetheart experience, not even a clue how it was to a find interest in somebody? A few unaware stares and shy remarks later, word started to spread around campus that (Y/N) had a crush on Jongup.

But it wasn't supposed to be this way. No one should've known about it. It was your secret. You weren't right for him anyways, what was there so special about you that he could possibly take interest in? Deep down in your heart, you wanted to believe it was nonsense. Partially at least. You didn't want anything to do with him. He stressed you out more than anything, and you were alright with just admiring him from afar. You didn't even want to imagine him hearing about the rumors in first place.

He did. And he shrugged them off. And it broke your heart.

One would think he'd have to react somehow, but he didn't. The naive little part of you was devastated not to see him glancing, not to see him approaching, but what did you expect? There was no obligation for him to do so if he wasn’t interested. He still acted like you didn't exist. He only knew your name. He didn't seem like he needed to know more than that. Although maybe he just didn't believe everything he heard.

Days went on. So did weeks, which turned into months, which ended up being another whole semester. Admiring from afar had become your specialty. Even far away at home and parted from everything and everyone while on break, he remained in your head for the whole time, somewhere at the back of your mind, the image of his strong arms wrapped around your waist being too addictive to be left alone and forgotten on nights when you couldn’t fall asleep. The longing you felt the second you saw him on the first day of the new hellish semester almost seemed desperate. It was desperate. You wanted him to notice you so bad.

And it was silly, how easily things sometimes came to be, but he did. Unpurposefully.

"Can I sit here?"

His voice, coming from nowhere, startled you enough to jump at it a little. Your eyes eventually found his, and with a pause that had started heading into the awkward direction, you finally nodded, realizing what he wanted.

(Y/N), talk, goddamnit.

"Yeah, s-sure."

Nice one. Two words, one stutter. Why can't you ever keep it together?

The little tingle in your voice came by him unnoticed, or at least he didn't throw you a glance or rethink his decisions of his today's location. With less grace than imagined, he plopped down into the chair next to yours, rummaging through his bag. In the corners of your eyes, you scanned the area where his usual seat was at. Some other bloke had comfortably nested in there, and by the arms carelessly thrown behind his head and the loud conversations he lead with nearby sitting people, it didn't look like he'd leave anytime soon.

"Crap..."

Before more curses could fall from Jongup's lips, the professor asked for everybody's attention, and he stopped fiddling around. With a tossed open notebook lying in front of him, he narrowed his eyes into the distance, his head resting on his arm. His lip having curled into a little unintentional pout and his cheek a little puffy.

Ten minutes in you realized he didn't bring anything to write with. Was it so hard to ask?

You slid a pen over to him without saying anything. Sort of hoping he wouldn't notice first, and eventually would just look down to the object neatly sitting in front of him, pretend that it had been there all along. Would take it and not say a word.

His eyes did register the movement across the table though. The look he gave you was grateful. A bit of that.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Well done. No stutter this time around.

Fifteen minutes more into the lecture you felt like he was watching you. And not just at moments, but all the time. It made you uneasy and before you knew it, you’d visibly stiffened up. Jongup raised a brow.

"I'm blind like a bat," he explained without much more to it, sheepishly poking at your fingers that were laid across some more words he wanted to copy into his notebook, "And forgetful of my glasses. I hope you don't mind."

He’s just copying your notes, take it easy. Just the notes.

Forgetful of his glasses.. Amongst other things. He was such a mess, but still caused all these feelings inside your chest, so you simply nodded and shoved your notebook a little closer to his side. Another quiet thank you escaped his lips, but you didn't want to respond.

It was scary. How nervous he got you by just sitting next to you. How nervous you felt to even open your mouth around him.

This became a daily thing. He would come, say a quiet hello. Sometimes he'd forget stationery and you'd pass it to him silently and generously. His glasses were more of a myth than an everyday occurrence, but the few times you'd actually seen them on his nose, they'd looked gloriously comfortable, suiting him well. The nervousness you felt around him didn't substitute or cease.

He'd stated your handwriting was better than the one of his previous desk buddy. once he'd even said he felt like he could concentrate here better than there, since you were completely silent and didn't constantly bug him. That’s why he’d apparently come to sit here. Fair point. Conversation really was kept at a minimum for various reasons, and for the better, you thought.

He seemed to hold similar beliefs. Until one day.

The note had appeared on your notebook randomly. As you glanced down at it in question, you were certain it hadn't been there just a moment ago, and threw the girl to your right a questioning look. A forced caught from the left made you jump a little. It seemed as if he wanted to tell you something with it. Cautiously, your fingers trailed over the folded piece of paper and opened it up, not looking over to him.

Jongup's scribbly handwriting was messily covering the page.

"Is that assignment due to next Tuesday? Did I hear correctly?"

Wasn't it easier to just ask you, not scribble a note? Raising your brow at him, you didn’t get a reply. He was looking right ahead, pretending to pay attention... Pretending, because the corners of his mouth were lifted in a little cheeky smirk, and you knew he was silently waiting for your reaction. 

You inked your reply right underneath his question before passing it back to him. The next string of text was passed to you less than two minutes later.

And that's how it started.

Scribbly back-and-forth talk was comfortable for both of you. It didn’t really bother you to study, kept you entertained every free minute, but more than that, you could finally talk to him without constantly feeling too nervous to tie two words together. 

Pages and notes started becoming too complicated. One day he showed up with an extra notebook, just for the talks. That notebook seemed to be the only thing consistent with him - he could forget everything, just not this. Because, for an odd reason, that would mean that your conversation would be cut short. And it had become a comfortable part of everyday life neither of you wanted to miss out on.

And it was scary, to start talking to him. But his method of doing it eased the situation. 

It was a regular Friday afternoon. Last lecture before another weekend would roll around the corner. Your eyes registered Jongup’s movements, his pen once again inking words on a page of your conversation notebook. You let him finish his business, waited for him to sit back against the chair. As the professor’s monologue ceased and he started rummaging for some papers he was in need of in order to explain the final part of the topic, you let your eyes wander across the page.

“Why don’t you ever talk to me?”

It was so straightforward it made your heart race again. Jongup rarely asked anything. You looked over to him, wanting to open your mouth, wanting to get out some sort of sound. It didn’t happen. You lowered your eyes again, gulping down a knot that hat built in your throat. It felt different when you were talking to him through the notebook. The lined pages provided some sort of comfort and safety than an actual conversation didn’t. It was less open, less vulnerable. 

You simply tapped at the page, to which he briefly looked into your eyes before leaning back up front. It was so quick, you didn’t anticipate the motion in the least. The moment you realized how close he was now, you instinctively pulled away a little.

“No, I mean as in actually talking. Why don’t you?”

He looked up to you again, seeming closer than before. Had he moved? Had he leaned in more? You felt too afraid to look away, too nervous to keep staring. He felt the anxiety coursing through your veins from a mile away. Practically heard your heart thumping against your chest. Yet he didn’t let up.

“Is it because you’re too shy?”

He didn’t look up, just paused after every written line. You remained quiet.

“Is it because you stutter every time you say something to me?”

You closed your eyes briefly, wanting to curse. He did notice. All this time, he had noticed and knew it. Why did he pretend he didn’t?

“Is it because you think I’m not alright with it?”

Would he be alright though? Wouldn’t it be annoying?

“Are you nervous around me?”

Nearby students started chatting quietly. Briefly glancing at the clock, you figured it was near end of the lecture. He was right. He always got you feeling nervous.

“Scared of me?”

Conversation from all around became louder. The professor was saying his final words for the day, about to dismiss everybody and wish them a hardworking and productive weekend. But you couldn’t possibly listen. Not now, in this situation.

“Do you like me?”

It honestly felt like your heart was about to stop. It was too much.

Before you noticed it, you were shoving your things away into your messenger bag. It was too much. He wasn’t supposed to know, but he knew. He wasn’t supposed to bring it up, because you’d grown used to just admiring him from afar. This Jongup that had cornered you today demanding for answers and the one you usually talked to through the notebook were two different people.

“Wait.”

His hand landed on your upper arm the very moment you rose from your chair and were literally about to run, his voice lingering in the little space above your heads for longer. Most people had left the room by now. You felt the palms of your hands covering in a thin layer of sweat as you slowly sat back in your chair, folded your arms over your lap and watched him grabbing his pen again.

He was writing for quite a while, during which you simply anxiously sat and waited with your eyes glued to your lap. And then, he closed the notebook. Looked back at you. Shoved it in front of you and stood up, leaving you with it. His fingers brushing down your arm gently before pulling away as he left you sitting there completely alone.

For the whole day you tried to forget about the notebook, but couldn’t. Curiosity was gnawing at you, and you finally caved in the moment you walked through your dormitory’s door, propping down on the couch and anxiously flipping through the pages.

There was so much conversation. With your heart beating immensely fast, you found the page he’d scribbled on today.

“Are you nervous around me?”

“Scared of me?”

“Do you like me?”

You stared at the bottom of the page, afraid to flip it over. It was scary, how much you feared he might write you off. How much you feared he might not sit next to you next Monday. How much you wanted him to.

Take a deep breath. Flip it over.

“Because I like you. A lot. I could write about it but I’d most definitely run out of pages, and we’d have to sit here for long. Until sunrise. And then some more, because I have a lot to say.”

It was so scary, to meet him the very next evening after you’d read this over and over again for several times, trying to reassure yourself that it wasn’t a bad joke or a blunt lie. But with a deep breath, you showed up at his dorm room’s door. In two hours time you were walking down nameless nightly streets hand in hand. In another hour conversation was a fluent thing that seemed to never have been missing in first place. In two more hours you were kissing right under the stars.

And it was scary too, but his soft lips moved against yours with such ease and grace that it felt like gravity had given up on the two of you, and you were floating somewhere mid-air in time and space, not belonging to a certain time frame or surroundings. Just his arms. The same arms you’d been wrapped up in all of your daydreams. Same arms that had locked you up safely in them because he knew. He knew you were afraid, but not of him. Just genuinely afraid of doing something wrong, because you wanted this so much, but just didn’t know how to do it.

He never took it for granted and always made it his priority to make you feel safe in your actions. And that’s how the fears started to cease.

Now, more than just a few years down the line, you looked back at that time with the fond smile of all playing across your lips. The photographs you’d finally finished sorting were now sitting in a fresh, new photo book, and you rose from your comfortable position on the bed, heading towards the commode to store it away in a safe place.

The front door creaked open and closed with a loud thud. Your smile didn’t fade as you instinctively headed for the bedroom door, and then to the hallway, running a hand through your messy hair.

Memories kept flooding you. Of all those times when he said it was alright, of all those times when he mended your worries and calmed your nerves. All those times he took your shaky fingers in between his and told you that you couldn’t do wrong, all those times you were uncertain he said that he’d lead, and all you had to do was follow. All your past and your present, everything that would follow.

“Hey,” he instinctively smiled a little as he saw you appearing in the hallway, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacked before he turned back to you, his eyes softly gazing you up and down. Your fingertips ghosted over his cheek before wrapping around the nape of his neck, almost getting tangled up in the collar of his shirt. It was the ring’s fault, you thought.

You’d told him that the engagement ring was way too big already dozens of times, but he said that no other ring he’d ever seen was worthy of being put on your finger. You remember the way you cried when he put in on that same finger for the first time, remembered how your hands kept trembling until he took them in his own warm ones and held them tightly. How you choked up and he hugged you, chuckling at your outburst of emotions. There was nothing to cry about, he reassured. You could continue being happy from then on.

That was two years ago.

Your lips locked with his gently, like they did back then. Like they always did. His hand trailed down your arm, down your shoulder before finally hooking around your waist. You still felt the cold trail his wedding ring left across your skin, and smiled at that as well.

The wedding was teary too, and despite all that, you remember how you couldn’t stop smiling. It was the happiest day of your life. With all your friends, all your relatives, a beautiful beach, a blown-off into the water veil, a cake-faced Jongup sharing his toothy and slightly crooked smiles with you, a night of laughing and opening presents and cuddling into the sunrise. Breakfast in bed. You calling him hubby for the first time and him making a grimace. Those things started back then and haven’t ceased yet.

That was a year ago.

“How are you feeling?”

You chucked a little over his never-fading worry. But he wasn’t the only one who was worried, through for the first time in your life, you felt like you were less worried about something than him. Even if it probably should be the other way around.

“You keep asking the same question all over again.. I’m fine, Uppie, not any different from normal and usual. You worry too much.”

His large, warm hand gently rested against your middle, his eyes immediately obtaining a certain spark as his forehead pressed against yours and he looked down. You hadn’t announced it to anyone yet, not your friends or relatives or anyone, because you were still in the stage of trying to believe it yourselves. The gentle, still barely-there curve that was slowly forming where his palm laid now was real, and it was of most importance. It was so small still, so unnoticeable, sometimes he asked himself if it was maybe just a figment of his imagination. But there was proof, and more important than that, he could feel it. A new life starting to blossom right there, one he was responsible for. One he wanted to take care of.

“I have all the rights to worry,” he answered quietly, smiling as he looked back up to meet your eyes, “It’s a new experience for me too, I have all the rights to be worried about you and our little bean.”

Memories. Memories of the ever-so-brave Jongup and the always slightly scared you arose and didn’t leave. You felt a certain warmth spreading across your chest as you looked back at him, back at the man who had given his all to you. His youth and his time, his efforts and his resources, his love, for god’s sake. His back to hide behind, his chest to bury your nose in, his hand in marriage, and so much more than that.

“Does it scare you? The uncertainty of the future? The changes we’re about to experience?”

You’d expected him to catch onto the reference, to laugh at it a little perhaps. But instead, he simply bit his lips and nodded, staying untypically serious.

Yes, he was somewhat scared of the future. But more than that, he was absolutely thrilled for it.

You were surprised and wondered how things ended up like this, your body became stiff and your face started to heat up, then you figured out what happened yesterday, you two were so drunk and somehow ended up sleeping together on your hotel's room bed, you sighed in relief that nothing happened.

"Is that a sigh of relief?" Jongup's sleepy voice was the best thing you ever heard in your life. He was smirking at you and now his arm is holding you close.

"Umm... I guess?" You were thinking of a better reply but that's the first thing crossed your mind and you just said it with a chuckle and he chuckled at your cute response.

"Good morning cutie" he was smiling brightly and god knows what happened to your heart.

"Good morning" you were smiling happily and the crimson color on your cheek became visible.

"You look so cute when you get shy and embarrassed, I wanted to tell you this since the first time I saw you blushing" his hand moved to your messy hair and played with some locks of your hair.

Now you lowered your head as you always do when you're embarrassed "Thank you" you mumbled.

"You're so cute" he laughed at your blushing cutie face and that only got you blushing more. "Shall we go to eat breakfast?" He asked as he gets away from you, you nodded and get off the bed, you went to the bathroom to get ready first but once you get out, he wasn't there anymore, you thought maybe he went back to his room so he can change his clothes and take his time.

You two met at the hotel restaurant as always in the same table that is in front of the window, the beach was empty that morning and the waves were mixing up to become a bigger one, the clouds were few and the sun shone through them so beautifully and now the things become easier, you were getting used to him and he's getting used to you, no more awkwardness.

"I'll go back to Seoul tomorrow morning" his tone changed from sadness

"What about the shoot?" You asked

"I want to do it as soon as possible and that's why I will go back tomorrow to prepare everything and come back again for the shoot" he explained

"I see... So am I going to help you with the.. shooting?" You were confused and gloomy.

"Yes of course! That's the most important part! I will bring the set you need and if there's any specific thing you need, you can tell me to bring it with me" his voice got a little bit louder as he declared to you and making sure you know how much he wants you to work with him and you smiled at his cute way to respond.

“When you’ll come back?”

“It depends on how things go but at most 3 days or 4″

“Can you please wait for me?” he reached your hand and held it gently with his both hands.

“I- I will wait for you” you managed to say while your heart throbbed violently from his gentleness and his soft touch on your skin.

“C’mon let’s enjoy the whole day together!” he pulled you to stand up after he stood.

“What are we going to do?” you stood up and you found yourself so close to him. He pointed at the beach, answering your question.

“But it’s cold”

“C’mon” He said after he held your hand and you followed him as he walked fast to the door in the restaurant that located in front the beach, he opened the door and said “Ladies first” with a breathtaking smirk.

The cold wind hit you as make your way out, lucky you, you were wearing warm clothes. A few seconds later he was right beside you.

“Let’s walk” his hands met behind him and tangled as he walks with you, without any words you two just walked together and you were smiling, he started humming a song, you looked at him as your smile widen, then he turned to look at you.

“You have a really beautiful voice” He stopped walking and humming after you talked

“What’s wrong?” you turned to him looking at him surprisingly.

“Isn’t that the first time you compliment me?” you couldn’t see his eyes properly cause some bangs hid them but he was smiling.

“I guess” you turned to continue walking but actually you were just trying to hide your shy expression.

“That made happy” He followed you again and with a few steps he was walking beside you again.

“Can you sing?” the wind hit your backs and your hair flow with the wind so beautifully, you brushed your hair off your face after the wind got slower and that when he started singing Now (Listen to it)

Once he finishes singing you applauded and the joy was filling you, he looked at you smiling shyly.

“That was amazing!” your eyes were sparkling.

“Thank you” the moment he said that you felt a drop on your cheek, you looked up to the sky and you found it full of clouds, and maybe that was a warning for you that it will start raining.

“Looks like it’s going to rain” he was looking up to the sky then he looked at you, you agreed.

“Shall we go inside?” after he asked a few more drops fall on you

“No, let’s stay there” you pointed on a beach umbrella, which wasn’t that far, but the rain started pouring down so he held your hand and ran to that umbrella.

“Thank god we didn’t get soaked by the rain”

“Yes and thank god I didn’t forget my camera” you smirked.

Turning on your camera and changing the settings to capture the raindrops as they fall in the sea.

“It would be a waste if I couldn’t take pictures for this beautiful scene” you were already taking pictures.

“Indeed, but you know what?” he was looking at you from behind as he smiles.

“What?” you stopped to look at him

“You’re the who makes everything beautiful”

What he said was getting deeper in your heart, which was throbbing, actually it throb every time you see him, whether he’s smiling or just looking at you or when he sang for you and of course every time he says some sweet words to you, it’s like you’re becoming addicted to him without you knowing.

Your embarrassment expression that he like was on your face and nothing could stop him from getting close to you and close his eyes slowly to let his lips touch yours lightly and tenderly, just enough to make your heart beats so fast.

You closed your eyes and the only thing you could feel is his warm lips against yours and the only thing you could hear is the rainfall sound, it was so perfect that no words could describe your feelings and that beautiful scene.

You turned to the left side, still trying to sleep but your mind was too busy of thinking about him and you were turning to the other side every now and then for half hour until you get sick of not being able to sleep.

You lied on your back and opened your eyes and sigh loudly, you throw off the blanket, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything that happened, when you first met him in the bus, when you went to the shooting place, when he ate the dinner with you in your room and you drank, when he slept with you and lastly what happened today at the beach.

Everything you could think about just making you fall for him even more but you were asking yourself, what kind of relationship do you have with him now and without you knowing you fell asleep.

The sound of the alarm interrupted your slumber, you checked the time in your phone and it was 11:15am

Great, you still have time before Jongup’s checkout, you start getting ready as fast as you could and once you get out of your room, you remembered that you don’t know his room number so you rushed to the reception and ask her for his room number and if he was still there.

“Let me check. His room number is 202 and he didn’t check out yet” she was smiling at you and you thank her quickly but before you get too far she shouted “Good luck”, you turned to her an nodded with a big smile.

You knocked the door twice and you heard him saying “I’m coming”, you waited a few seconds with your beating heart, he opened the door but he was silently looking at you and when you were about to speak he said “I thought it was the bellhop” he smiled and pulled you in his room.

“Thank you for coming” he was just standing with you in the hallway and staring at you with his smiley eyes for a few seconds.

“No need” you mumbled and lowered your face after you saw him staring at you.

“Come in” he walked toward the sofa and whispered “You can sit” and that what you did.

“When is your flight?”

“2:30pm” he sat on the bed opposite to you

“So you still have time, right?” you hoped he will say yes

“Unfortunately no cause the bus is coming at 12″ he pouted a little and he looked really adorable that you wanted to pinch his cheeks.

“Then don’t you have to check out now? You don’t have much time” you tried to hide your sadness

“What time is it?” he stood up in hurry and waited for your answer

“11:45″

“Oh, I wanted to stay with you more” he made such a sad face then added “Can you come with me to check out?”

“Yeah of course!” you stood up and followed him as he pulled his small luggage beside him and you’re walking close to his other side.

He checked out then you two walked outside silently, he stopped in front of the door after you get out, he turned to you and smiled sadly, you did the same.

“Can I have your phone number?” his smile turned to a shy smile, you grinned uncontrollably and gave him your number.

“Thank you, I will call you later” you just nodded

“So I will go now, see you soon”

“See you soon”

He waved to you as he walked away but he stopped in the halfway suddenly and came back running toward you, smiling widely, the next moment you felt his arms hugging you tightly, you were so surprised but when you realized what happened, you chuckled lightly and hugged him back.

“See you soon” he whispered as his arms around you loosen and once again he walked away but this time without looking back, he was blushing and he didn’t want you to see that.

Your body feels hot – too hot in fact – and you push the covers off in a hurry and make your way to your door. Your naked feet are the only noise you hear in the hallway as you make your way down to Jongups room. On your way there, you suddenly find yourself standing in front of a tall figure; the young man that was with Jongup when they got you out of there – you just can’t remember his name. “Um . . .” You start and he just laughs at your confused face. “It’s Daehyun. Are you on your way to Jongup?” You look up at him in surprise and feel your cheeks and ears heat up. “Yeah.” You admit quietly. You now take time to study his face more thoroughly and notice that he really is beautiful. But in a different way than Jongup is. Daehyuns face is softer, gentler than Jongups sharp features. “In that case I won’t stop you from doing so any longer.” He steps aside and gestures for you to walk past him and towards Jongups room. “Thank you” Your voice is only a whisper and you quickly walk down the hallway, the surprising encounter calmed your running mind down a little bit, since you now feel safe  as there are guards walking the corridors of the building. “He said it was peace.” You whisper to yourself as you face the panel and start counting the numbers until you reach the letters – 16,5,1,3,5. The door opens and reveals a dark room. “What do you want Yongguk? It’s 2 in the morning.” You hesitate in the doorway. “I can leave again if you want to.” Your voice is soft and uncertain and as soon as he recognizes it’s you, he jumps out of bed and walks over to you. “I’m sorry, I forgot that I gave the code to you. The only other person that knows of it is Yongguk.” He takes your face in his hands and raises your eyes to meet his. “Why are you here? It’s late at night.” He takes your hand and guides you to his bed where he makes you sit down next to him. He’s wearing only a part of sweatpants and you blush a deep red that even colors your ears in. “I had a nightmare and just. . I didn’t want to be alone.” He smiles at you and keeps your hand in his lap. “What was it about?” You hesitate but start telling him about everything as he holds you in his arms, his naked chest pressed into the side of your body. “He’s dead now. He won’t hurt you anymore. Let’s go to bed” Jongups jaw is tense and his eyes are closed as he takes deep breaths. “I will sleep on the couch. You take the bed.” He stands up and walks over to the couch where he takes one of the blankets and pulls it over him, not saying anything to you. “Good night.” You lay down on his bed and pull the covers over you, his smell engulfing you. “Good night.” You whisper into the darkness but he doesn’t say anything; even his breath is not audible. You toss and turn for a good hour until you are able to fall asleep. This time, however, your dreams are not filled by dark rooms and painful memories but by warm hugs and Jongups soft voice.

Days pass and you get the chance to talk to a therapist who shows you different kinds of techniques to calm yourself down whenever a nightmare hits you. She suggested different things but didn’t want to immediately diagnose you. She suggests you see her often in her office in town, even if you no longer stay at the mansion, since Yongguk will take over all costs for your therapy – a wish of his fiancée.  You haven’t seen her in a while when you bump into her in the hallway on the way to get dinner. “I have a question.” You ask as you bite your lip. “What’s wrong?” She has a smile on her face - as always. You have never seen her unhappy and cannot imagine that this person has gone through a similar situation as you did. “I would like to go home.” You admit quietly and she stands still and looks at you with worry. “Do you not like it here?” Her smile turns into a slight frown and you immediately regret bringing it up. “I love it. I just. . I want to go home. I want to sleep in my bed I want to see my friends.” Her brows furrow and you walk up to her. “You won’t be able to meet any of us. Not me, not Himchan, not even Jongup.” You bite your lower lip- this is something you did not think about. “Why?” Your voice is a whisper. “We are dangerous. As long as you are here, we can keep you safe, but if you leave this mansion, it will be hard for us to do so – and being associated with us will make you a target.” She looks at the floor. “This is how I got kidnapped back then. I was mad and stupid and left – Not even 24 hours later they got me.” You swallow. “I just miss everyone. C-Can I meet them and stay here?” Your voice quivers because it is hard to imagine for you to be separated from Jongup. He is with you almost every night and visits you at least once every day. “It will turn them into targets.” She admits and you look at the floor. “I feel selfish for wanting both.” You admit and she hugs you softly. “I know. I wanted both, too, but I decided to let go of my family and friends. I love them a lot and would not want them to get hurt. But I also loved Yongguk a lot. It’s a decision you have to make. I can’t help you with it.” She looks at you with pity and turns to walk to the kitchen. “You want to leave?” It is disappointment that’s lacing his voice and making your heart hurt. “I-” You start. “No. Save your excuses. It’s better for you to leave. Being associated with us is not safe.” He tells you, his voice cold and distant. “Jongup. . .   I just miss my life.” He turns away. “I understand.” But you feel like he doesn’t.

The next day you pack your bags and leave. You say goodbye to everyone and they tell that they’ll miss you and that you’re always welcome back, but you doubt that one person wants you back Jongup didn’t show up for bedtime. He left you alone in the darkness, so you decide to leave him. To leave him and heal and hopefully come back another day. Stronger, healthier and better.

Jongup POV

“And I spend so much time to try and get your attention and the cat goes and does it in a few minutes”

He laughs a little and throws his head back and you can see his familiar eyes. They turn into the little crest moons and his teeth are in full view. His relaxed look takes you by surprise.

“What are you doing here?” you ask or you stutter.

“Looking for my cat”

“It’s yours?” you ask in surprise.

“She is and she is a lot of trouble”, he says with a smile.

He walks up to you and the kitten in your arms. The kitten sees Jongup and instantly moves around in your arm.

“Whoa there”, you say.

“She wants her dad, don’t you Luna”, Jongup says with a smile as he takes the kitten into his large hands.

She mews happily and rubs her head into Jongup’s chest and Jongup has this smile on his face. The softest and warmest smile which you had never seen. It makes your heart skip a beat. You had never seen Jongup look so…not badass. He was always in his skin-tight ripped jeans with his combat boots and his leather or denim jacket.

“Luna is a pretty name”, you say mindlessly as you just take in how adorable Jongup looks with Luna.

“I named her after myself”, he says with an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Really?”

“Yeah, Moon Jongup”, he says.

“Ah”

“So you think my name is pretty?”

His bad boy smirk is back on his face and you feel your face heat up.

“I just find the moon pretty”, you say and he laughs.

“I think Luna likes you though”, he says as Luna is stretching over Jongup’s arm and is gently pawing at you.

You can’t help but smile at Luna.

“You wanna join Luna and I for dinner?” he asks.

“What?”

“Not like a date! Just as friends!” he says with another blush on his face.

“It’s just that Luna seems to like you and doesn’t want you to leave you yet”, he says with the flustered look on his face.

You can’t help but smile.

“Sounds good”, you say.

His face is graced by that beautiful smile again and your hear skips another beat. It was doing things to your heart and you weren’t sure if you would survive dinner with Jongup and Luna.

Jongup let’s you into his house and he tells you not to mind the mess. You look around but his place is quiet neat with minimal furniture.

“What mess?” you mutter to yourself.

“I hope you don’t mind pizza”, he says as he lets Luna down and she runs around the place.

Jongup runs his fingers through his hair as he shuffles around the place and finds his phone.

“Have a seat on the sofa”, he says and you stiffly sit down.

He laughs a little and plops himself next to you.

“Relax a little”, he says and pulls you gently by the shoulder so you fall backwards and lean on the back of the sofa.

He laughs again.

“What do you like?”

“What?”

He laughs again.

“I mean, what pizza do you like”

You feel your face heat up again and awkwardly tell him what you like and the two of you place an order of pizza and other stuff. By the time the order is placed, you feel more relaxed but the fact that Luna had come up to you and made herself comfortable on your lap might have something to do with it.

Jongup puts a movie on and the three of you just sit comfortably on the sofa watching to movie until the pizza arrives. Jongup pauses the movie before grabbing the pizza. He then goes to prepare Luna’s food and then the movie is resumed again.

Dinner goes quiet smoothly and you find yourself slowly dosing off a little. Your eyelids feel heavy and Jongup probably noticed it as he gently pulls you to him so you’re resting your head on his shoulder.

“Just making sure you are comfortable”, he whispers, avoiding eye contact as his other hand is slowly petting the now asleep Luna, who is on his lap.

You feel yourself blush again but don’t make a move. You are still looking at him when he breaks out into a smile. You feel so comfortable and almost don’t want to leave but the movie comes to an end so you slowly sit up again.

“Thanks for having me”, you whisper, as Luna is still asleep on his lap.

“You’re welcome, I hope you enjoyed our company”, he whispers back.

You smile at him and then pet the sleeping Luna.

“She is so adorable”

“She is”, he agrees.

“I should go though”, you say.

“You should…but…”

“But?”

“Maybe, we should go on a proper date tomorrow”, he whispers as he finally looks at you.

He looks absolutely stunning as you only just notice the way the moonlight coming in through the window illuminates his handsome face. The lights had been turned off hours ago so the only light source in the room was from the TV and the moonlight.

“I thought you said this wasn’t a date”, you say slowly.

“It wasn’t, that’s why I said a proper date”, he says with his bad boy smirk back on his face.

You roll your eyes.

“You’re not going to leave me until I agree, are you?”

“Nope”

“OK”

“Look, I know you are hesitant but…wait what?” he asks in surprise.

“Let’s go on a date”, you say feeling a little shy.

His face heats up in a blush as well, as he suddenly starts squirming on the spot. Luna stirs awake at Jongup’s movement and mews in anger before jumping off his lap and scurrying away to her bed. She makes herself comfortable before she falls back to sleep.

“So, I’ll come pick you up for a date tomorrow”

You turn back to Jongup who is scratching the back of his neck shyly and you can’t help but smile at how adorable he looks. You wonder what look he will sport tomorrow.

“Sounds good, I can’t wait”, you say as you stand up.

Jongup walks you to the door and as he is saying bye to you, he leans in and peaks your cheek with a quick kiss making you blush again. He has a cheeky smile on his face but the tip of his ears is bright red.

“See you tomorrow”, he says softly and you awkwardly wave at him as you slowly walk to your place. He makes sure that you are in your house before he shuts the door behind you.

And that’s when he finally deflates on the spot and slides down his door. He pulls his legs into his chest and hides his face in his hands. Luna’s little paws are heard and her bell rings as she runs to Jongup and paws at his leg. Jongup looks up at Luna.