#baplibrary

Bang Yongguk, the man of many talents. He was most known for stealing girls' hearts which made you wary about him at first. Until you fall so hard with him, it was hard to stand up again.

You could not have enough of him. His sharp jaw, his pointed nose, and his well-defined eyes. Well, god must have taken his time creating him, because he was so beautiful it almost hurt. His muscles were so defined. You could not stop staring at his collarbone area, his well-toned chest.

You gulped as you remembered last night. Heat crept into your cheeks as you remembered how your hand roamed over his stiff back and ran into his fluffy hair. This man, he was all yours now.

Reaching for his tempting hair, you played with it between your index and thump so faintly so that he will not wake up, feeling how smooth it was recalling the memories you made of that night.

Out of the blue, a hand grabbed yours making you jump slightly in your place. You met his eyes and heat flushed your cheeks; anyone could mistake you for a tomato.

“H-Hey, you were awake?” You stuttered feeling embarrassed about being caught.

“You have been staring for so long.” His deep voice sent chills through your spine. His eyes roamed over your face before catching your eyes. “I apologize sincerely if my handsome face has kept you awake all night.”

You swore if you touched your cheeks you would burn yourself from how hot they felt. You needed to run away now. But before you could even take one movement away from him, he pulled you closer. You yelped in surprise as you found yourself somehow beneath him.

His body was hovering over yours, his elbow resisted by your cheeks for support as his face was so close it was torturous. His breath flaming hot against your skin.

You waited for him to close the distance, but he would not do that. Your skin tingled with craving of his touch on your body. You could not look away from his deliciously buffy lips.

“I-I am…” You murmured softly as you leaned forward to catch his lips in yours. To your surprise he pulled away, but never got up from over you, a smirk stretched so widely while he caged you between his arms.

At that moment, you wanted to hide. You probably looked so eager; it was too embarrassing.

“It’s so unfair.” You said as you hide your face in your elbow.

You gasped when he pulled your elbow away from your eyes and put it above your head. His eyes switched from teasing to wolfish.

Too intense and too dark, it sent electric waves through your whole body.

“what’s unfair?” He asked with his deep voice, too close to your ears. “Are you so eager for a second round? Something to refresh your memory about last night.”

“Stop it.” You whined as you looked at him nervously. “You like teasing so much.”

“I still didn’t do anything yet.” He breathed against your lips, before capturing them between his. You let yourself be drawn into his spell.

Losing yourself to him was the one thing you knew how to do the best. His kisses started out soft and tender as if you were made of glass and he was afraid to break you, but then those kisses turned into heated ones that left you breathless and shaky.

“Good morning, my lovely wife.” He breathed between kisses.  

“Good morning, my handsome man.” You giggled as he kissed your forehead and then your nose.

“I think we will cancel our plans for today.”

“What are you looking at?” You asked for probably the third time. He blinked and looked down at you, a little embarrassed at being caught.

He reached out and intertwined his fingers with yours. “It’s nothing, I’m just looking out for you.” He kissed the side of your cheek before pulling you along to the next ride.

You held his hand tightly as you stood in line. “You’re sure this is completely safe, right?” You eyed the Twister, a terrifying contraption of spinning and sliding seats. There didn’t even seem to be any seat belts on the seats, just handlebars in front of you.

“Absolutely~” He smiled and took off his jacket, placing it on your shoulders.

“Oh, Junhonggie, I’m not cold-”

“But I’m hot, so I had to take it off.” He winked at you and you burst out laughing. That was something you absolutely loved about him. He was such a dork; he could make you laugh in any situation.

“Next!” The attendant at the gate brought your attention back to the outside world. The way he looked at you was a little unsettling. You casually hid behind Junhong’s arm as you passed him, eager to get that man out of your mind. Junhong didn’t say anything, but leaned over and kissed the top of your head.

The ride started once everyone was “safely” settled into their seats. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. You screamed along with Junhong, holding him as tightly as he was holding you. He was laughing; you couldn’t tell if it was from the thrill of the ride or because of your screams. But it didn’t matter. Smiling, happy Junhong was your favorite person in the world.

As the ride ended, your screams subsided into giggles. You laughed, trying to catch your breath. “Okay, that was a good ride, I’ll admit it.” You gave in, following Junhong as he got out of the ride.

He reached out his hand to help you down, smiling a little smugly. “I told you it would be fine.” This time as you walked past the gates Junhong put his arm around your shoulders and held you almost uncomfortably close. You could see the death glare he was giving the ride attendant, but you decided not to say anything.

Following Junhong’s expert advice, the two of you were able to see the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel. He kissed you in the most cliche way, but you still loved it. You hugged him tightly as the ferris wheel began to go back down. “This was a good date, babe.”

“Glad I have your approval.” He replied, making you chuckle and slap his chest lightly. “I figured you’d like it, but I’m still glad I was right.”

“Yes, you win the award for best boyfriend of the year.” You grinned at him and he nodded as if this was already an established fact.

“As I should.” The door opened and you both got out of the ferris wheel and made your way toward the exit. He had his arm around your shoulders again and his attention was divided between you and something else once again.

You stopped, a little annoyed. “What are you looking at? Are there really attractive people around or something?”

His eyebrows came together in confusion as he blinked at you. “No. You really haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what?!”

He rolled his eyes and pushed his hair back with one hand. “All eyes have been on you all night. Did you really have to wear that outfit? Did you really have to make your hair so perfect?”

You stood there, dumbfounded. “No, I hadn’t noticed.”

He huffed and started walking again. “You should be more observant. All of those people getting to see you this beautiful… you need to make better choices.”

“Me?!” You followed after him. “I need to- wait. Are you jealous?” His behavior wasn’t making sense. He said nothing and kept walking. “So I’m right?” You reached out and grabbed his hand, stopping him under a streetlamp.

“Does it matter? Let’s just go home and-”

“Junhong, you listen to me right now.” You looked at his face, trying to make sure he was finally paying attention to you. “People can look at me all they want. But you’re the only one that gets to touch me. People might look at me weird or say inappropriate things. But you’re the only one I care about. Yours is the only opinion that matters to me.” You reached over and stroked his cheek lightly.

By the end of your speech, he was looking you in the eyes and hanging on your every word. His hands found their way to your waist. “Are you sure?”

“Mhmm” You nodded leaning in and kissing his nose. “Yes, you dork.”

“Hey, there’s no need for insults here.” He replied in mock offense. A smile tugged at the edges of his lips. Your hand moved from his face to rest on his shoulder.

You chuckled and shrugged. “Hey, I call it as I see it.” You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck as his curled around your waist. “Thanks for watching out for me, Junhong.”

He hummed in agreement. “Glad to see I’m being appreciated.” You laughed, hitting your forehead against his chest. How could one man be this.. Much? He was everything you could ever want and then some.

“You’re lucky I like you.” You teased, pecking him on the lips before stepping away. “Come on, let’s get back home. I’m tired.”

Junhong yanked your arm backwards, making you crash against him lightly. “Yes, I’m very lucky.” He moved in and kissed you slowly, conveying his feelings through actions. You were everything he could ever want and more.

Thing is, you felt like you were obligated to not need anybody's comfort. You'd lived for so long without it that you felt it was only logical to go on that way. It was stupid, really, the way most humans were made to long for attention even when they could live without it just fine. You fell into that little tiny part of society that longed for something they had restrained themselves away from. That was your everyday.

But the warm feeling that spreads across your cheeks when you're walking through the hallway right behind him or the thumping of your heart when he was near, your mind telling you not to look despite knowing you wouldn't listen anyways - it was all there. The only signs that were required for you to realize.

It was scary, developing feelings for somebody. Especially when it was your first time doing so, and when that somebody was as far away from you as Pluto was from the Sun. Light years away, light years ahead. Ethereal and unreachable and just an object to admire.

Sadly, admiring him from afar was a bit more challenging than first anticipated. What did you expect from somebody with zero high school sweetheart experience, not even a clue how it was to a find interest in somebody? A few unaware stares and shy remarks later, word started to spread around campus that (Y/N) had a crush on Jongup.

But it wasn't supposed to be this way. No one should've known about it. It was your secret. You weren't right for him anyways, what was there so special about you that he could possibly take interest in? Deep down in your heart, you wanted to believe it was nonsense. Partially at least. You didn't want anything to do with him. He stressed you out more than anything, and you were alright with just admiring him from afar. You didn't even want to imagine him hearing about the rumors in first place.

He did. And he shrugged them off. And it broke your heart.

One would think he'd have to react somehow, but he didn't. The naive little part of you was devastated not to see him glancing, not to see him approaching, but what did you expect? There was no obligation for him to do so if he wasn’t interested. He still acted like you didn't exist. He only knew your name. He didn't seem like he needed to know more than that. Although maybe he just didn't believe everything he heard.

Days went on. So did weeks, which turned into months, which ended up being another whole semester. Admiring from afar had become your specialty. Even far away at home and parted from everything and everyone while on break, he remained in your head for the whole time, somewhere at the back of your mind, the image of his strong arms wrapped around your waist being too addictive to be left alone and forgotten on nights when you couldn’t fall asleep. The longing you felt the second you saw him on the first day of the new hellish semester almost seemed desperate. It was desperate. You wanted him to notice you so bad.

And it was silly, how easily things sometimes came to be, but he did. Unpurposefully.

"Can I sit here?"

His voice, coming from nowhere, startled you enough to jump at it a little. Your eyes eventually found his, and with a pause that had started heading into the awkward direction, you finally nodded, realizing what he wanted.

(Y/N), talk, goddamnit.

"Yeah, s-sure."

Nice one. Two words, one stutter. Why can't you ever keep it together?

The little tingle in your voice came by him unnoticed, or at least he didn't throw you a glance or rethink his decisions of his today's location. With less grace than imagined, he plopped down into the chair next to yours, rummaging through his bag. In the corners of your eyes, you scanned the area where his usual seat was at. Some other bloke had comfortably nested in there, and by the arms carelessly thrown behind his head and the loud conversations he lead with nearby sitting people, it didn't look like he'd leave anytime soon.

"Crap..."

Before more curses could fall from Jongup's lips, the professor asked for everybody's attention, and he stopped fiddling around. With a tossed open notebook lying in front of him, he narrowed his eyes into the distance, his head resting on his arm. His lip having curled into a little unintentional pout and his cheek a little puffy.

Ten minutes in you realized he didn't bring anything to write with. Was it so hard to ask?

You slid a pen over to him without saying anything. Sort of hoping he wouldn't notice first, and eventually would just look down to the object neatly sitting in front of him, pretend that it had been there all along. Would take it and not say a word.

His eyes did register the movement across the table though. The look he gave you was grateful. A bit of that.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Well done. No stutter this time around.

Fifteen minutes more into the lecture you felt like he was watching you. And not just at moments, but all the time. It made you uneasy and before you knew it, you’d visibly stiffened up. Jongup raised a brow.

"I'm blind like a bat," he explained without much more to it, sheepishly poking at your fingers that were laid across some more words he wanted to copy into his notebook, "And forgetful of my glasses. I hope you don't mind."

He’s just copying your notes, take it easy. Just the notes.

Forgetful of his glasses.. Amongst other things. He was such a mess, but still caused all these feelings inside your chest, so you simply nodded and shoved your notebook a little closer to his side. Another quiet thank you escaped his lips, but you didn't want to respond.

It was scary. How nervous he got you by just sitting next to you. How nervous you felt to even open your mouth around him.

This became a daily thing. He would come, say a quiet hello. Sometimes he'd forget stationery and you'd pass it to him silently and generously. His glasses were more of a myth than an everyday occurrence, but the few times you'd actually seen them on his nose, they'd looked gloriously comfortable, suiting him well. The nervousness you felt around him didn't substitute or cease.

He'd stated your handwriting was better than the one of his previous desk buddy. once he'd even said he felt like he could concentrate here better than there, since you were completely silent and didn't constantly bug him. That’s why he’d apparently come to sit here. Fair point. Conversation really was kept at a minimum for various reasons, and for the better, you thought.

He seemed to hold similar beliefs. Until one day.

The note had appeared on your notebook randomly. As you glanced down at it in question, you were certain it hadn't been there just a moment ago, and threw the girl to your right a questioning look. A forced caught from the left made you jump a little. It seemed as if he wanted to tell you something with it. Cautiously, your fingers trailed over the folded piece of paper and opened it up, not looking over to him.

Jongup's scribbly handwriting was messily covering the page.

"Is that assignment due to next Tuesday? Did I hear correctly?"

Wasn't it easier to just ask you, not scribble a note? Raising your brow at him, you didn’t get a reply. He was looking right ahead, pretending to pay attention... Pretending, because the corners of his mouth were lifted in a little cheeky smirk, and you knew he was silently waiting for your reaction. 

You inked your reply right underneath his question before passing it back to him. The next string of text was passed to you less than two minutes later.

And that's how it started.

Scribbly back-and-forth talk was comfortable for both of you. It didn’t really bother you to study, kept you entertained every free minute, but more than that, you could finally talk to him without constantly feeling too nervous to tie two words together. 

Pages and notes started becoming too complicated. One day he showed up with an extra notebook, just for the talks. That notebook seemed to be the only thing consistent with him - he could forget everything, just not this. Because, for an odd reason, that would mean that your conversation would be cut short. And it had become a comfortable part of everyday life neither of you wanted to miss out on.

And it was scary, to start talking to him. But his method of doing it eased the situation. 

It was a regular Friday afternoon. Last lecture before another weekend would roll around the corner. Your eyes registered Jongup’s movements, his pen once again inking words on a page of your conversation notebook. You let him finish his business, waited for him to sit back against the chair. As the professor’s monologue ceased and he started rummaging for some papers he was in need of in order to explain the final part of the topic, you let your eyes wander across the page.

“Why don’t you ever talk to me?”

It was so straightforward it made your heart race again. Jongup rarely asked anything. You looked over to him, wanting to open your mouth, wanting to get out some sort of sound. It didn’t happen. You lowered your eyes again, gulping down a knot that hat built in your throat. It felt different when you were talking to him through the notebook. The lined pages provided some sort of comfort and safety than an actual conversation didn’t. It was less open, less vulnerable. 

You simply tapped at the page, to which he briefly looked into your eyes before leaning back up front. It was so quick, you didn’t anticipate the motion in the least. The moment you realized how close he was now, you instinctively pulled away a little.

“No, I mean as in actually talking. Why don’t you?”

He looked up to you again, seeming closer than before. Had he moved? Had he leaned in more? You felt too afraid to look away, too nervous to keep staring. He felt the anxiety coursing through your veins from a mile away. Practically heard your heart thumping against your chest. Yet he didn’t let up.

“Is it because you’re too shy?”

He didn’t look up, just paused after every written line. You remained quiet.

“Is it because you stutter every time you say something to me?”

You closed your eyes briefly, wanting to curse. He did notice. All this time, he had noticed and knew it. Why did he pretend he didn’t?

“Is it because you think I’m not alright with it?”

Would he be alright though? Wouldn’t it be annoying?

“Are you nervous around me?”

Nearby students started chatting quietly. Briefly glancing at the clock, you figured it was near end of the lecture. He was right. He always got you feeling nervous.

“Scared of me?”

Conversation from all around became louder. The professor was saying his final words for the day, about to dismiss everybody and wish them a hardworking and productive weekend. But you couldn’t possibly listen. Not now, in this situation.

“Do you like me?”

It honestly felt like your heart was about to stop. It was too much.

Before you noticed it, you were shoving your things away into your messenger bag. It was too much. He wasn’t supposed to know, but he knew. He wasn’t supposed to bring it up, because you’d grown used to just admiring him from afar. This Jongup that had cornered you today demanding for answers and the one you usually talked to through the notebook were two different people.

“Wait.”

His hand landed on your upper arm the very moment you rose from your chair and were literally about to run, his voice lingering in the little space above your heads for longer. Most people had left the room by now. You felt the palms of your hands covering in a thin layer of sweat as you slowly sat back in your chair, folded your arms over your lap and watched him grabbing his pen again.

He was writing for quite a while, during which you simply anxiously sat and waited with your eyes glued to your lap. And then, he closed the notebook. Looked back at you. Shoved it in front of you and stood up, leaving you with it. His fingers brushing down your arm gently before pulling away as he left you sitting there completely alone.

For the whole day you tried to forget about the notebook, but couldn’t. Curiosity was gnawing at you, and you finally caved in the moment you walked through your dormitory’s door, propping down on the couch and anxiously flipping through the pages.

There was so much conversation. With your heart beating immensely fast, you found the page he’d scribbled on today.

“Are you nervous around me?”

“Scared of me?”

“Do you like me?”

You stared at the bottom of the page, afraid to flip it over. It was scary, how much you feared he might write you off. How much you feared he might not sit next to you next Monday. How much you wanted him to.

Take a deep breath. Flip it over.

“Because I like you. A lot. I could write about it but I’d most definitely run out of pages, and we’d have to sit here for long. Until sunrise. And then some more, because I have a lot to say.”

It was so scary, to meet him the very next evening after you’d read this over and over again for several times, trying to reassure yourself that it wasn’t a bad joke or a blunt lie. But with a deep breath, you showed up at his dorm room’s door. In two hours time you were walking down nameless nightly streets hand in hand. In another hour conversation was a fluent thing that seemed to never have been missing in first place. In two more hours you were kissing right under the stars.

And it was scary too, but his soft lips moved against yours with such ease and grace that it felt like gravity had given up on the two of you, and you were floating somewhere mid-air in time and space, not belonging to a certain time frame or surroundings. Just his arms. The same arms you’d been wrapped up in all of your daydreams. Same arms that had locked you up safely in them because he knew. He knew you were afraid, but not of him. Just genuinely afraid of doing something wrong, because you wanted this so much, but just didn’t know how to do it.

He never took it for granted and always made it his priority to make you feel safe in your actions. And that’s how the fears started to cease.

Now, more than just a few years down the line, you looked back at that time with the fond smile of all playing across your lips. The photographs you’d finally finished sorting were now sitting in a fresh, new photo book, and you rose from your comfortable position on the bed, heading towards the commode to store it away in a safe place.

The front door creaked open and closed with a loud thud. Your smile didn’t fade as you instinctively headed for the bedroom door, and then to the hallway, running a hand through your messy hair.

Memories kept flooding you. Of all those times when he said it was alright, of all those times when he mended your worries and calmed your nerves. All those times he took your shaky fingers in between his and told you that you couldn’t do wrong, all those times you were uncertain he said that he’d lead, and all you had to do was follow. All your past and your present, everything that would follow.

“Hey,” he instinctively smiled a little as he saw you appearing in the hallway, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacked before he turned back to you, his eyes softly gazing you up and down. Your fingertips ghosted over his cheek before wrapping around the nape of his neck, almost getting tangled up in the collar of his shirt. It was the ring’s fault, you thought.

You’d told him that the engagement ring was way too big already dozens of times, but he said that no other ring he’d ever seen was worthy of being put on your finger. You remember the way you cried when he put in on that same finger for the first time, remembered how your hands kept trembling until he took them in his own warm ones and held them tightly. How you choked up and he hugged you, chuckling at your outburst of emotions. There was nothing to cry about, he reassured. You could continue being happy from then on.

That was two years ago.

Your lips locked with his gently, like they did back then. Like they always did. His hand trailed down your arm, down your shoulder before finally hooking around your waist. You still felt the cold trail his wedding ring left across your skin, and smiled at that as well.

The wedding was teary too, and despite all that, you remember how you couldn’t stop smiling. It was the happiest day of your life. With all your friends, all your relatives, a beautiful beach, a blown-off into the water veil, a cake-faced Jongup sharing his toothy and slightly crooked smiles with you, a night of laughing and opening presents and cuddling into the sunrise. Breakfast in bed. You calling him hubby for the first time and him making a grimace. Those things started back then and haven’t ceased yet.

That was a year ago.

“How are you feeling?”

You chucked a little over his never-fading worry. But he wasn’t the only one who was worried, through for the first time in your life, you felt like you were less worried about something than him. Even if it probably should be the other way around.

“You keep asking the same question all over again.. I’m fine, Uppie, not any different from normal and usual. You worry too much.”

His large, warm hand gently rested against your middle, his eyes immediately obtaining a certain spark as his forehead pressed against yours and he looked down. You hadn’t announced it to anyone yet, not your friends or relatives or anyone, because you were still in the stage of trying to believe it yourselves. The gentle, still barely-there curve that was slowly forming where his palm laid now was real, and it was of most importance. It was so small still, so unnoticeable, sometimes he asked himself if it was maybe just a figment of his imagination. But there was proof, and more important than that, he could feel it. A new life starting to blossom right there, one he was responsible for. One he wanted to take care of.

“I have all the rights to worry,” he answered quietly, smiling as he looked back up to meet your eyes, “It’s a new experience for me too, I have all the rights to be worried about you and our little bean.”

Memories. Memories of the ever-so-brave Jongup and the always slightly scared you arose and didn’t leave. You felt a certain warmth spreading across your chest as you looked back at him, back at the man who had given his all to you. His youth and his time, his efforts and his resources, his love, for god’s sake. His back to hide behind, his chest to bury your nose in, his hand in marriage, and so much more than that.

“Does it scare you? The uncertainty of the future? The changes we’re about to experience?”

You’d expected him to catch onto the reference, to laugh at it a little perhaps. But instead, he simply bit his lips and nodded, staying untypically serious.

Yes, he was somewhat scared of the future. But more than that, he was absolutely thrilled for it.

Yongguk reappeared with two wrapped packages stacked in his arms. You watched him fidget with sudden shyness and it wasn’t from his lack of clothing. 

He shuffled his feet against the floorboards, scuffing his heal against a spot that didn’t exist. 

“I bought us something we can wear to the holiday party tomorrow night.”

“Oh?” You sat up straighter in the bed, intrigued by the prospect of an early gift. 

The mattress dipped as Yongguk’s weight joined yours. With your free hand, you lifted the covers and draped it over his lap. He placed one package on top of your thighs, lighter than you expected. 

“Open it,” he urged.

You shifted to set your mug on the nightstand and scooched over to nestle yourself against Yongguk’s side. He threaded his arm behind you, letting his fingers rest lightly against your side. He began to stoke soft lines onto your tender flesh as he waited for you to tear off the wrapping paper.

You hooked a finger under the edge of the golden paper and pulled carefully. A white box was revealed underneath and you looked up at Yongguk.

“Keep going,” he nodded.

The lid slid off easily and a gentle “oh” breezed from your lips. Sat neatly under tissue paper was a forest green knitted sweater. You held it up, eyes scanning over the what was printed over the front. The giggle escaped before you could even attempt to capture it. Glittering pom-pom balls and tinsel decorated the front in the shape of a tree. 

“Check out the sleeves.” Yongguk held out the end of the nearest one for your inspection. More gaudy tinsel encircled the wrists of the sleeves. “It lights up, too.” There is a small click and the sweater illuminates itself in a horrendous display of festive cheer.

“Oh, my god.” Your mouth cannot keep itself closed. “It’s so ugly. It’s perfect! What did you get?”

Yongguk opened his package quickly and pulled forth another monstrosity— firetruck red with a snowman stitched on the front. Upon a closer look, you realized that the snowman had the face of a dog—Tigger, to be exact. 

“I had these custom made. Mine even sings.” Yongguk fiddled with a small remote and the beginning notes of “Jingle Bells” filled the room. 

“They’re wonderful!” You pushed the covers from your torso and hurriedly pulled your sweater over your head. “It’s surprisingly soft,” you commented, adjusting the fabric down your stomach. 

“I didn’t want us to be miserable and itchy all night,” Yongguk said, muffled under his own sweater. 

You plant a kiss on Yongguk’s cheek just as his head popped through the sweater. “Thank you.”

Yongguk smiled, a slow, bashful stretch of his lips. He can’t find the words to say, so instead, he pulled you flush against his chest and slid your bodies down under the covers once again. You lie there, entwined and knitted together with the man who knew the smaller ways to your heart. 

b.a.p master list | monsta x master list

You were surprised and wondered how things ended up like this, your body became stiff and your face started to heat up, then you figured out what happened yesterday, you two were so drunk and somehow ended up sleeping together on your hotel's room bed, you sighed in relief that nothing happened.

"Is that a sigh of relief?" Jongup's sleepy voice was the best thing you ever heard in your life. He was smirking at you and now his arm is holding you close.

"Umm... I guess?" You were thinking of a better reply but that's the first thing crossed your mind and you just said it with a chuckle and he chuckled at your cute response.

"Good morning cutie" he was smiling brightly and god knows what happened to your heart.

"Good morning" you were smiling happily and the crimson color on your cheek became visible.

"You look so cute when you get shy and embarrassed, I wanted to tell you this since the first time I saw you blushing" his hand moved to your messy hair and played with some locks of your hair.

Now you lowered your head as you always do when you're embarrassed "Thank you" you mumbled.

"You're so cute" he laughed at your blushing cutie face and that only got you blushing more. "Shall we go to eat breakfast?" He asked as he gets away from you, you nodded and get off the bed, you went to the bathroom to get ready first but once you get out, he wasn't there anymore, you thought maybe he went back to his room so he can change his clothes and take his time.

You two met at the hotel restaurant as always in the same table that is in front of the window, the beach was empty that morning and the waves were mixing up to become a bigger one, the clouds were few and the sun shone through them so beautifully and now the things become easier, you were getting used to him and he's getting used to you, no more awkwardness.

"I'll go back to Seoul tomorrow morning" his tone changed from sadness

"What about the shoot?" You asked

"I want to do it as soon as possible and that's why I will go back tomorrow to prepare everything and come back again for the shoot" he explained

"I see... So am I going to help you with the.. shooting?" You were confused and gloomy.

"Yes of course! That's the most important part! I will bring the set you need and if there's any specific thing you need, you can tell me to bring it with me" his voice got a little bit louder as he declared to you and making sure you know how much he wants you to work with him and you smiled at his cute way to respond.

“When you’ll come back?”

“It depends on how things go but at most 3 days or 4″

“Can you please wait for me?” he reached your hand and held it gently with his both hands.

“I- I will wait for you” you managed to say while your heart throbbed violently from his gentleness and his soft touch on your skin.

“C’mon let’s enjoy the whole day together!” he pulled you to stand up after he stood.

“What are we going to do?” you stood up and you found yourself so close to him. He pointed at the beach, answering your question.

“But it’s cold”

“C’mon” He said after he held your hand and you followed him as he walked fast to the door in the restaurant that located in front the beach, he opened the door and said “Ladies first” with a breathtaking smirk.

The cold wind hit you as make your way out, lucky you, you were wearing warm clothes. A few seconds later he was right beside you.

“Let’s walk” his hands met behind him and tangled as he walks with you, without any words you two just walked together and you were smiling, he started humming a song, you looked at him as your smile widen, then he turned to look at you.

“You have a really beautiful voice” He stopped walking and humming after you talked

“What’s wrong?” you turned to him looking at him surprisingly.

“Isn’t that the first time you compliment me?” you couldn’t see his eyes properly cause some bangs hid them but he was smiling.

“I guess” you turned to continue walking but actually you were just trying to hide your shy expression.

“That made happy” He followed you again and with a few steps he was walking beside you again.

“Can you sing?” the wind hit your backs and your hair flow with the wind so beautifully, you brushed your hair off your face after the wind got slower and that when he started singing Now (Listen to it)

Once he finishes singing you applauded and the joy was filling you, he looked at you smiling shyly.

“That was amazing!” your eyes were sparkling.

“Thank you” the moment he said that you felt a drop on your cheek, you looked up to the sky and you found it full of clouds, and maybe that was a warning for you that it will start raining.

“Looks like it’s going to rain” he was looking up to the sky then he looked at you, you agreed.

“Shall we go inside?” after he asked a few more drops fall on you

“No, let’s stay there” you pointed on a beach umbrella, which wasn’t that far, but the rain started pouring down so he held your hand and ran to that umbrella.

“Thank god we didn’t get soaked by the rain”

“Yes and thank god I didn’t forget my camera” you smirked.

Turning on your camera and changing the settings to capture the raindrops as they fall in the sea.

“It would be a waste if I couldn’t take pictures for this beautiful scene” you were already taking pictures.

“Indeed, but you know what?” he was looking at you from behind as he smiles.

“What?” you stopped to look at him

“You’re the who makes everything beautiful”

What he said was getting deeper in your heart, which was throbbing, actually it throb every time you see him, whether he’s smiling or just looking at you or when he sang for you and of course every time he says some sweet words to you, it’s like you’re becoming addicted to him without you knowing.

Your embarrassment expression that he like was on your face and nothing could stop him from getting close to you and close his eyes slowly to let his lips touch yours lightly and tenderly, just enough to make your heart beats so fast.

You closed your eyes and the only thing you could feel is his warm lips against yours and the only thing you could hear is the rainfall sound, it was so perfect that no words could describe your feelings and that beautiful scene.

You turned to the left side, still trying to sleep but your mind was too busy of thinking about him and you were turning to the other side every now and then for half hour until you get sick of not being able to sleep.

You lied on your back and opened your eyes and sigh loudly, you throw off the blanket, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything that happened, when you first met him in the bus, when you went to the shooting place, when he ate the dinner with you in your room and you drank, when he slept with you and lastly what happened today at the beach.

Everything you could think about just making you fall for him even more but you were asking yourself, what kind of relationship do you have with him now and without you knowing you fell asleep.

The sound of the alarm interrupted your slumber, you checked the time in your phone and it was 11:15am

Great, you still have time before Jongup’s checkout, you start getting ready as fast as you could and once you get out of your room, you remembered that you don’t know his room number so you rushed to the reception and ask her for his room number and if he was still there.

“Let me check. His room number is 202 and he didn’t check out yet” she was smiling at you and you thank her quickly but before you get too far she shouted “Good luck”, you turned to her an nodded with a big smile.

You knocked the door twice and you heard him saying “I’m coming”, you waited a few seconds with your beating heart, he opened the door but he was silently looking at you and when you were about to speak he said “I thought it was the bellhop” he smiled and pulled you in his room.

“Thank you for coming” he was just standing with you in the hallway and staring at you with his smiley eyes for a few seconds.

“No need” you mumbled and lowered your face after you saw him staring at you.

“Come in” he walked toward the sofa and whispered “You can sit” and that what you did.

“When is your flight?”

“2:30pm” he sat on the bed opposite to you

“So you still have time, right?” you hoped he will say yes

“Unfortunately no cause the bus is coming at 12″ he pouted a little and he looked really adorable that you wanted to pinch his cheeks.

“Then don’t you have to check out now? You don’t have much time” you tried to hide your sadness

“What time is it?” he stood up in hurry and waited for your answer

“11:45″

“Oh, I wanted to stay with you more” he made such a sad face then added “Can you come with me to check out?”

“Yeah of course!” you stood up and followed him as he pulled his small luggage beside him and you’re walking close to his other side.

He checked out then you two walked outside silently, he stopped in front of the door after you get out, he turned to you and smiled sadly, you did the same.

“Can I have your phone number?” his smile turned to a shy smile, you grinned uncontrollably and gave him your number.

“Thank you, I will call you later” you just nodded

“So I will go now, see you soon”

“See you soon”

He waved to you as he walked away but he stopped in the halfway suddenly and came back running toward you, smiling widely, the next moment you felt his arms hugging you tightly, you were so surprised but when you realized what happened, you chuckled lightly and hugged him back.

“See you soon” he whispered as his arms around you loosen and once again he walked away but this time without looking back, he was blushing and he didn’t want you to see that.

You flinched, as the doorbell rang out of a sudden. You didn't expect anyone so you tried to be quiet because you weren't in the mood for any kind of visit now.

That's when the doorbell rang again. Someone knocked on the door, calling your name softly. You nearly got a heart attack as you realized who stood outside of your apartment. It was Yongguk.

He knocked again, calling your name louder this time. His deep, intense voice send shivers down your spine, but you still didn't make a move, hoping he would leave soon. You couldn't handle to see him now, not after everything that happened between the two of you.

“Stop ignoring me...” he begged as he stopped knocking. “Please! I know you're home. I heard you!”

Shit.

That was the last thing you needed right now. You just wanted to be alone and you were glad your boyfriend wasn't at home right now. How could you know that Yongguk would visit you just now? But did you had a choice? He probably wouldn't leave until you opened him.  You tried to ignore him since that night, so you didn't answer his calls, messages or mails at all, but you already feared he would come over at some point.

“Y/N? Please, we really need to talk about this!”

You sighed, fighting the new tears that came up. The last thing you wanted was him to see you cry, he shouldn't know what you really felt. Because it doesn't matter. It just can't.

“Coming”, you grunted, although you tried to act normal.

Slowly you stood up, feeling the blood rushing back into your shaky legs. You used some toilet paper to wipe away your tears, still trying to pull yourself together. A look in the mirror told you that it was nearly impossible to hide the fact that you cried. Your eyes were swollen and red, so Yongguk would see it anyway.  

Nervously you opened the door to let him in. His eyes widened, as he saw you but he didn't say anything. He took off his shoes and followed you into the living room. Your heart was pounding and you had real trouble not to break into tears again.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked politely, trying to avoid the actual conversation as long as possible.

Yongguk just shook his head, sitting down on your couch. He took a deep breath. “Why didn't you answer any of my calls?”

You cleared your throat as you sat down, too, making sure there was a big gap between the two of you. You barely couldn't look at him, how should you handle any physical contact? It was just impossible.

“You know why.”

“No, I don't” he replied instantly, shaking his head again. “I know things are... complicated, but we used to talk about everything. That shouldn't change, don't you think?”

For a moment there was just silent, while you thought about this. Usually he was right, but it wasn't that easy anymore. Not after everything that happened.

“We can't pretend like nothing happened, Yongguk. You know that!”

“I don't intend to. That's why I wanted to talk to you” he said softly, trying to prove he was still there for you.

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“Don't say that! We slept together, Y/N, that isn't nothing!” Although he tried to stay calm, you made him angry and sad at the same time. He didn't knew how to handle the situation either and he really needed to talk to you, but you just weren't there for him.

“Fine, then talk!” you shouted as you felt tears running down your cheeks again.

Yongguk took a deep breath, until he said something. He wasn't sure what to say since your sight just hurt him so badly. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting you but he knew he just did that. By sleeping with you although he knew you had a boyfriend, by ruining not only your friendship with that, but probably your whole life. And by sneaking out on you the next morning.

“I never meant to hurt you” he started as he stood up again, walking up and down the room. “It's just... I don't know how this could happen and that's why I sneaked out on you. I know you are with someone and I'm really sorry for messing that up, I never intended to. But I just don't wanna lose you, so -” He broke off, not knowing how to end this sentence. What did he even expect? It wasn't that easy as he wanted it to be.

You wiped away your tears, sniveling. “It's not just your fault” you replied honestly. That took two and you knew that already. That's what made it so horrible for you, you couldn't just blame him and move on with your life. Something seemed to be very wrong with your relationship, otherwise you never would've slept with him, right?

Silence again.

Your heart was still going crazy while you peeked at him, so you looked away. It felt like your insides cramped and you held your stomach, taking a deep breath. This all was too much for you so your body obviously was revolting.

The next moment you ran to the toilet so you were right on time as you threw up. You shut your eyes, hoping this would end soon. It was nearly impossible that your body was reacting that bad just because Yongguk was there.

It hit you like a train as you remembered, what the real reason for your sickness was. That's when the tears came up all over again.

Soon you felt soft hands reaching out for your hair to pull it together on your neck. Yongguk was here, trying to help you as good as he could. You vomited again, hoping he wouldn't guess what was wrong with you. But as the pregnancy test came into your mind again, it was too late.

He saw it laying on the bathroom floor and his eyes widened hugely as he realized what was happening here.

“Y-you're pregnant?”

Your stomach was settling so you slowly stood up again, avoiding any eye contact to him. You didn't say anything as it was pointless to deny.

“Is that why... you didn't talk to me all the time?”

You didn't answer, not knowing what to say at all. Actually you didn't want him to know about it since you didn't know if you would keep the baby, but now it was too late. You'd need to talk about it, no matter what you wanted or not.

“I'm happy for you” he said after there was silence again, smiling softly. “I know how badly you wanted this to happen.”

Your heart burst into a million pieces and you got sick all over again. But luckily you didn't need to threw up again. Nonetheless it hurt so much to hear that, you didn't even knew why. But it seemed as if he hadn't realized what this could mean. What it definitely meant, because you knew better than him!

As you broke out in tears again, Yongguk was just overwhelmed. What was wrong with you now? He didn't even thought about the fact that he could be the father of your unborn child. How could he, you just had sex once. The chance of being the father was very small – at least he thought it was.

“Yeah, uhm...” you choked and tried to stop crying. You sniveled a few times and had real trouble to speak clearly. “About the baby... It's yours.”

Yongguk squinted, holding on to the sink as he thought he would collapse. “W-what? That's.... impossible.” He was breathing heavily as he just couldn't believe it. “How could you know?”

You sighed and wiped away new tears. “I... I only slept with you the last weeks. There wasn't... anybody else.”

“But your boyfriend?!”

Shaking your head you just started to cry again. “He didn't touch me since everything's got so complicated. I just wanted to get pregnant so bad and for him it wasn't that important... like, at all.”

Without thinking about it Yongguk closed the gap between you to pull you into his arms. He had no clue your relationship already was that broken. You just haven't told him about it so how could he knew? But he understood you probably didn't want to talk about something tragic like this.

You just cried on his shoulder because all the stress was leaving your body. It felt good finally talking about all of this, even if you knew about your pregnancy literally since today.

“What are we going to do now?” you mumbled against his shoulder.

“I don't know” he answered honestly, making you snivel again. “But I know I'm not leaving you alone with this.”

He cupped you face with his hand, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. His hands raised your head softly so you could look at him. Yongguk smiled, trying to cheer you up.