songfic: scales & hooks
Song: Me and the Devil by Soap&Skin
Characters: Jona Anderson, Mika Amber Langley
Tags: two women falling in love, it gets worse before it gets better, pathetic women, hurt/comfort, changing + taking song lyrics out of context, Jona's POV, there is a timeline if you squint, retrospective writing, they could've just talked to each other tbh, kinda ignoring every englisch grammar rule I know for poetic effect, major time jumps
Devider by @uzmacchiato
Early this morning
As I was walking across the training grounds, my eyes got cought on a reflection of light. Silver hair, like one of those small minnows I used to catch in the river when I was young.
Only for a moment, my gaze followed, as you made your way through the pairs of sparring seraphs. I have not seen you here before, you haven't been from this place, your clothes tailored and without a speck of dust.
Clean.
You made your way to the office of Thackeray, just like Countess Anise earlier. How important were you?
I heaved my body off the ground, and clapped my hands to clean them of sand. When I looked up you were gone.
When you knocked upon my door
“This is Miss Langley”, Anise introduced. You were dressed a little more casual today, I noted.
This was the first time I stood so close to you. One of your buttons is coming loose, I wanted to remark. I bit my tongue.
Unofficial business, then.
Anise continued: “She is helping the seraphs with necromancy.” That explained nothing. “Like a trainer of sorts.”
Ah.
I watched you reach for my hand. I shook it. And immediately felt bad about it, to have strained your soft skin with my battered and used hands.
And I said: Hello Satan
The first time I saw you fight, was against the undead.
Green magic dancing around your figure, seeping off your skin. The sound of your pistol ringing through the air as it impaled minions to open us an escape route. The way you wet hair clung to your face in the misty wind of the sea.
As dreadful as our situation was, I remember very clearly realizing: that you looked beautiful.
You were beautiful.
Your voice as the wind carried it, screaming orders. Giving your dog commands to rip into flesh. The way your body moved so gracefully. The raw power and strength you displayed.
I blamed the unruly weather then. My limbs were paralyzed and it took me everything to get my body moving. To break free.
I believe it is time to go
After Zaithan, I felt drained. And tired.
We were up until this point, only two people fighting for the same thing, having the same goals. Making plans with Trahearne, planning the next mission, the next attack. Always moving.
You were always so quiet during the meetings, just merely a witness to our play, waiting for the next act.
I watched you, the words stuck in my throat. Wanting to speak to you, getting to know you.
But in the end there was nothing. Zaithan took everything, from me, from you, from everyone else.
When I turned away, when I left. I grieved you. As I traveled I asked myself: what was there to grieve? The… ‘what if’? Even then, you were just like me, we're women of purpose and devotion. Fighting on behalf of Queen Jenna and Anise. There was nothing between us. Just our shared duty for the crown.
Still, why did it feel like it mattered so much?
Me and the devil
Our eyes met.
And I was there again, on the grimy beaches of Orr. Sand stuck to my skin. Air that clogged my lungs and water I couldn't drink. Confronted with my past self's shortcomings. With my failures.
You were quiet, again. Some things never change. You just looked at me. Like you did, then. Without emotion.
I wanted to tell you that I changed. I wanted to scream it 'till my breath gave out.
I could feel my head moving, a small nod directed at you.
Ignoring the growing pain in my chest. Confusion set in. I left on my own volition. Why was I feeling like this? Why did it hurt so much?
Now, the silence between us was unbearable.
Walking side by side
The sandstorms were rough. The coarse sand grinding away at my armour.
“You two go together, you know each other the longest”, Taimi said.
There wasn't a single truth to it. We never knew each other. Not like that.
But duty called, 'no time to overthink', I argued with myself.
I struggled to lift my legs off the sand. My muscles strained. I couldn’t see two feet in front of me.
The only thing I felt, I knew, you right behind me. You magic slithering close, seeking me out, like a cold hand on my back, guiding me.
And I am gonna see my woman
Dying felt cold and lonely.
My soul changed, I could feel it, not breaking but rearranging. As if you ripped out wooden floorboards and put them right back but each piece in a different place. Still the same but also not.
The fear I felt.
In my mind a strong: this is it. You've reached the end.
And then I didn't.
When air entered my lungs again and I woke violently and disoriented, you were there, cradling my head in your lab. Your eyes were red, and filled with tears.
I wanted to move my arms, my body, reach out and wipe ‘em of your face. But my body was exhaused, everything felt so hazy.
So I just looked at you for a little while longer.
Until I get satisfied
I bought a skiff.
When I told you, you looked at me questioningly.
“I want to catch minnows in the narrow water canals of Keineng”, I explained.
We both went early in the morning, drove outside the city and just looked at the rising sun.
“You remind me of it. The sun.” You said to me.
“Why?” I asked through a whisper.
“Whenever I looked at you, everything felt so bright. It was almost blinding. You were always captivating, rising from the dark and creating light, again and again. Making your way through the sky. Always there, even though I couldn't always see you.”
You eyes crinkled and wrinkles formed on your cheeks.
